Kristin Vayden

by Surviving Scotland

  “I suppose ye think yer keepin’ some great secret from me when ye donna tell me the lad’s name, but ye aren’t, lassie. I ken who has yer heart. Aye, I do.” Morag leaned back in her chair, nodding to herself with a satisfied grin.

  “Oh?” I asked, grinning at her obvious delight.

  “Aye, ‘tis Ioan. He’s held yer heart since ye were but a young lass.” Morag nodded once and waited for my reaction. She didn’t wait long. The heat of my blush filled my face and I bit my lip, glancing down at my lap. When I looked up again, Morag was chuckling.

  “‘Twas that obvious?”

  “Aye, ye both were as clear as the stream down yonder.” She nodded her chin to the window.

  “Yer constant bickerin’ an’ fightin’ like a puppy an’ kitten.”

  “I donna think Ioan will like ye comparin’ him ta a puppy.” I joked, laughing at her explanation.

  “Aye, but ‘tis the truth. He’s fightin’ ye, then followin’ ye like a little lost pup. ‘Twas quite entertainin’ ta watch, if ye ask me.” Morag chuckled then coughed.

  “Well, it thrills me ta no end ta hear ye say that. ‘Twill be such fun ta tease him about it later.”

  “Aye, but ye were no better, lassie. Ye lost yer memories and still ye acted the same. Chasin’ him off whenever he sniffed around ye, yet lookin fer him whenever he wasna around.”

  “Just how often did ye watch us, Morag?” I scolded jokingly.

  “‘Twas apparent ta all who had eyes, lass.” Her expression sobered and she glanced to the door. “Does yer uncle ken?”

  “He kens that Ioan held a certain… affection fer me.”

  “Aye, I think we all knew that, lass. I’m askin’ if he kens that ye and Ioan are wantin’ ta marry?”

  “Nay.”

  “Ahh.” Morag folded her hands over her chest and leaned back in her chair, deep in thought. I exhaled softly. The worry about my uncle’s reaction increased its intensity as the moments ticked by. As I thought about it, the more worried yet more confused I became. My uncle loved me; that was very clear. But since he did, wouldn’t he want my happiness? Wouldn’t he want me to marry Ioan? Was there a piece of the story I was missing?

  “Morag?” I asked in a low voice.

  “Aye?”

  “Me uncle, he doesn’t like Ioan and I donna understand why. Granted, I donna remember what happened afore the fever… but what would cause me uncle ta send Ioan away in order ta keep him from me?”

  “I suspected that was his intent in sendin’ him with ye ta Dumbarton.” Morag nodded. “Especially when it was clear ye were sent ta marry Cullon. I asked meself why he had sent Ioan as yer escort. Seemed a bit cruel ta me, yet I understood because ye would be safe with him.”

  I nodded and waited for her continue.

  “Yer uncle doesn’t have anything against Ioan as a man, lass, simply as yer man.”

  “I donna understand.”

  “Yer mither, God rest her soul, was beloved o’ yer uncle. She was his baby sister, ye see. Always he wanted ta provide for her, give her the beautiful dresses and trinkets he knew she adored. When the time came for her betrothal, her father wanted ta betroth her ta Niall Campbell.”

  The fire crackled in the silence and I shook my head.

  “Niall, Cullon’s father?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Aye. The verra same. Yer mither liked Niall well enough, but long had she secreted a love for one o’ her father’s warriors.”

  “My father?”

  “Aye, yer father.” Morag grinned as one does when retelling a beloved love story. “He had long ago accepted that yer mither would marry someone o’ wealth, o’ prestige. After all, her lineage was old and renown fer its fertility and strength. But knowin’ she would belong ta another didn’t make it easier on his heart ta watch her leave. So he followed her.”

  “To Dumbarton?”

  “Aye, he followed her armed escort and when they were attacked, rode in and valiantly fought, takin’ her upon his horse and ridin’ away from danger.” My eyes were wide and my grin broadening as I sensed a romantic ending.

  “When yer mither realized who had saved her, she gave him a kiss. “‘Twasn’t a wee kiss either, if ye gather me meanin’. Neither one noticed they were no longer alone in the middle o’ their passionate embrace. Niall had been on his way ta escort her the rest of the way ta Dumbarton and came upon their exchange.”

  “Oh.”

  “Aye, ‘oh’.” Morag grinned and leaned forward. “Needless ta say, Niall dinna want ta marry her when she clearly loved another. So that ‘twas the end of that.”

  “What happened next?”

  “Well, yer grandda, he took the news hard. ‘Twas more ta the story. All was no’ revealed till yer grandda’s death a few months later. Ye see, he had invested in a risky venture, yet kept it a secret. When the investment dinna offer the returns he had anticipated, the castle’s coffers were near exhausted. But by then, yer mither and father were already married and there was no hope ta gain wealth from a profitable alliance. In turn, yer uncle began ta resent yer father. He couldna provide for her like yer uncle tho’ she deserved. Yer father loved her ta a fault. But he dinna come from a known family, one with coin. Yer uncle saw how her marriage ta Niall would have easily relieved them all o’ the burdens o’ their light purse.”

  “And by marrying me ta Cullon, me uncle would be righting a wrong done ta the Campbell clan years ago, as well as bring in the money he needs.”

  “Aye.”

  “So, ‘tis about… money? All o’ this is about coin?”

  “‘Tis what much is about in the world, lass.” Morag reached out a weathered hand and patted my own with tender understanding.

  “‘Tis no’ fair.”

  “Life is no’ fair, lass.”

  I leaned back and covered my face with my hands. “Morag, one final question.”

  “Aye?” Morag glanced up from staring at the fire.

  “How did ye know all this… is this all common knowledge or…”

  “Lass, ‘tis because I’m yer grandmither. Me son was yer father.”

  Shocked, I simply stared at her. Never had I imagined.

  “Ye are wonderin’ why I never said so afore.”

  “Aye,” I whispered.

  “‘Tis because I kenned ye dinna remember me, lass, an’ I kenned ye needed ta find yer own way. If’n ye knew I had all yer answers; ye would never have fought ta find them on yer own. Ye are like yer mither in so many ways, but like yer father even more.”

  “But why? I donna understand why ye would keep this from me. Me grandmither? How ye would—”

  “Lass, I have me reasons, some I may tell, some I must no’. But ken this, I love ye an’ ever have I loved ye.” Tears filled her clear blue eyes. Tears spilled down my own cheeks as I let the knowledge of her relation to me flood my mind. She embraced me tightly, and I relaxed into her small frame, inhaling the smoke and flowery scent from her clothes. Wisps from her greying hair tickled my nose as I held tightly to her.

  As I released her, questions and further realizations filled my mind. My new knowledge gave me a different perspective, one that would cause tomorrow’s events to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

  “Uncle Maol willna be pleased with me and Ioan… ‘twill no’ be easy tomorrow.”

  “Nay, ‘twill no’.” Morag nodded sagely, her eyes pools of empathy.

  “Do ye think Ioan kens why me uncle disapproves of him so?”

  “I think he has an idea, but I donna ken if he fully understands.”

  “I’ll need ta tell him. Afore tomorrow.” I nodded and my gaze fell to the floor.

  “Or at least afore ye meet with yer uncle. No doubt he suspects ye are marryin’ Cullon.”

  “Aye.” I bit my lip in thought.

  “Ye have much ta think about, sweet Elle. I’ll leave ye now. These ol’ eyes had ta see ye and these ol’ arms ached ta hold ye.”

  “Thank ye for yer words. ‘Tis a wo
ndrous thing ta know me parents’ love.”

  “‘Twas a wondrous thing ta behold love. I pray one day ye will remember it fer yerself.”

  “Aye.” I nodded.

  Morag, my grandmother, grasped my hand tightly and walked to the door. At the muted thump of its closing, I walked to my bed and sat down. Ioan needed to know… I had to find Ioan. With determination I picked up the sole discarded boot and began to put it back on. No rest for the weary this night.

  ****

  Once in the hall, I cursed my faulty memory for being unable to discern which door belonged to Ioan’s room. The dim hallway cast shadows against each door, which made them look more foreign. I closed my eyes and concentrated. Slowly, fragments of thoughts began to come together, but none of the jagged edges matched. For a moment, I’d be able to see the hallway in the light of day and feel my own confusion. A second later, my mind would shift to a dark hallway with polished floors. An elaborately molded door would come into view and I’d push it open, revealing a bright room with wall-to-wall books. However, that picture would shatter, and I’d then see a mental picture of Ioan grinning at me. A smile bent my lips, yet I remained frustrated.

  Just as I remembered which door belonged to Ioan, I heard feminine laughter. Not wanting to risk someone telling my uncle I wasn’t sleeping as I had implied, I rushed to my room. Two women, the very ones who had cornered Ioan in his room not so long ago, bounced down the hall. My door wasn’t shut completely and so I watched as they stopped in front of a door, straightened their skirts, and tucked their loosened hair behind their ears. One cleared her throat as another knocked on the heavy door. The door soon opened, and Ioan’s expression was one of polite horror. I snickered to myself, secure in his affections and enjoying his discomfort.

  “G’evenin’, Ioan.” The red-haired maid curtsied.

  “We tho’ ye needed fresh water,” the brunette maid explained as she tried to push past him into his room with a pitcher of water.

  “Ach, thank ye, ladies, but I’m doin’ well. Perhaps Cullon is in need of some fresh water, and from such bonnie lasses such as yerselves.” Ioan winked, having safely diverted their attention. The maids glanced at one another and scampered to the next door, knocking rapidly.

  “Aye?” Cullon gave a flirtatious grin to the maids as he leaned against the doorframe.

  “D-Do ye need any fresh water?” the brunette asked with a huge grin as she unabashedly examined Cullon from the tips of his boots to the top of his head.

  “Aye. ‘Tis sure to be sweet water as well, comin’ from such beautiful lassies.” Cullon crooned and I rolled my eyes. The maids giggled. I opened my door slightly so that I’d get Cullon’s attention. He glanced toward me at the movement, and I nodded my head toward Ioan’s door. With a barely discernible nod, Cullon glanced back to the maids.

  “Do ye know what I truly need?” Cullon asked.

  “No… what do ye truly need?” The red-haired maid edged closer and gave a suggestive smile to Cullon.

  “I need two bonny lasses to escort me on a wee walk, what do ye say?”

  The water pitcher was quickly placed on the floor, and both maids laughed as Cullon held his arms out for them to take. As they walked down the hall, the last thing I heard was one telling Cullon how strong his arms seemed. I shook my head and edged out toward Ioan’s closed door. He’d slammed it shut once he had effectively distracted the maids. Once there, I knocked gently and glanced back down the hall.

  “Aye?” came a voice through the door. He probably thought I was one of the maids and he wasn’t taking any risks.

  “Ioan!” I whispered, hoping he’d hear me.

  “I donna need water!” he bellowed.

  “Ioan.” I spoke a bit louder and knocked again.

  “If ye must just leave it at the door and I’ll gather it later,” came his dismissing reply.

  Frustrated, I pushed on his door and tried to open it.

  “What are ye doin’? I said I donna need the water!” Ioan’s voice was much closer now and I heard a thump against the door. Was he barricading himself in?

  “I donna have the water! Would ye open the door, for pity’s sake!” I shouted in frustration. Though no one was in the hall, I pressed against the door, hoping to get in before I drew attention. As I was leaning, Ioan opened the door abruptly, and I fell into his arms.

  “Elle?” Ioan asked in a confused tone.

  “No, I’m yer maid with the water,” I grumbled as I tried to right myself.

  Ioan chuckled but didn’t let me go. He glanced down the hall and closed the door. Though I knew it wasn’t done, it was a wonderful sensation to be alone with him in a room where no one would interrupt. Ioan must have realized it as well, for his emerald green eyes flashed with mischief and then turned tender.

  “This may be the last time I get ye alone fer a while,” Ioan spoke softly and raised his fingers to push my heavy golden hair from my face. His touch was warm and gentle, immediately sending shivers of delight throughout my body. I closed my eyes and leaned into his arms.

  “Aye.”

  “Yer uncle will no doubt keep ye under lock and key ‘til we’re married, that is, if he’ll allow it.” Ioan’s voice dropped to a whisper as he spoke the last part. His head leaned against mine as he closed his eyes. I raised my hands to grip his shoulders and felt his solid warmth under my fingertips, even through his shirt.

  “Ioan?”

  “Aye,” Ioan spoke softly as he moved to rub his nose against my temple and place tender kisses along my jaw. My skin prickled with awareness at his soft touch and rough stubble.

  “I canna think with ye doin’ that.” I swallowed compulsively. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to feel his lips capture mine and feel the strength of his body pressed against my own.

  “Good, I donna want ye ta think.” Ioan chuckled before his lips found mine. His familiar flavor captivated my senses and I hungered for more. With abandon I pressed against his solid frame and wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing his head farther down. Immediately Ioan’s arms banded around me, pulling me closer ‘til I could feel his passionate heartbeat through our clothes. His hands dove into my hair and loosened it ‘til it fell against my back in a heavy cascade, but I hardly noticed. My own fingers were plunging into his hair and reveling in the soft thickness of its texture. Ioan’s teeth tugged at my lower lip and I opened to his request. A perfect dance of give and take drew us into the music of love’s affections. Not till I felt the weight of Ioan’s body against mine did I realize I wasn’t upright any longer. The bed was soft under me as Ioan’s body pressed me deep into the mattress. His muscular weight fed my own desire and I pulled him closer. The devote attention he lavished on my mouth was directed to the side of my neck and across my jaw. All I could hear was my own heartbeat, all I could feel was his and the pounding desire it poured through me. I gasped for air like I had run for miles, yet rather than be tired, my body had never felt more alive.

  “Elle,” Ioan moaned as he took my lips once more. His hands reached around my waist and held me tightly. I gripped his shoulders in return.

  “Push me away, Elle.”

  “Nay.”

  “Aye.”

  “Nay.”

  “Elle.” A tortured plea was whispered as he halted his assault on my lips and placed his forehead against my own. His labored breath fanned across my face, and I opened my eyes to see smoldering green fire staring back at me.

  “The last thing I want right now is ta be honorable, Elle. Trust me. And ye aren’t makin’ it easy.” He closed his eyes for a moment and I felt his heartbeat begin to slow.

  “But honorable I’ll be… regardless of how ye seem bent on stealin’ me virtue.”

  Ioan chuckled.

  “Steal yer virtue?” I questioned.

  “Aye.” Ioan nodded.

  “Ioan, I donna think I’d be stealin’ it. I’m thinkin’ ye’d be more than willin’ ta give it ta me,” I teased, relaxing under
his frame. “But I thank ye for protectin’ mine.”

  “Leave it ta ye ta stir a man’s blood ta boilin’, and just when he’ starts ta settle down, ye speak o’ stealin’ virtue, only ta praise his honor afterward for protectin’ yers. Elle, ye are a wicked temptress.”

  I laughed at his words.

  “I donna think it’s so funny, Elle. Ye can only torture a man so much.” Ioan shook his head, but his eyes took on a mischievous twinkle. “But I know I can torture ye the same…” He leaned down and tugged my earlobe with his teeth and breathed into my ear, giving me shivers.

  “Oh?” I whispered breathlessly.

  “Oh yes, Elle. And this torture is only the beginning. Just ye wait ‘til yer mine.”

  “I think perhaps I’ll enjoy that type o’ torture,” I whispered as my back arched into his body, when he kissed the hollow of my neck.

  “Elle, we both will. We both will,” he whispered against my skin.

  “Ioan!” My uncle’s voice boomed through the door causing Ioan and me to still.

  “Ioan! I canna find Elle!”

  Ioan glanced at me then rose, pulling me with him. Quickly I went to the other side of the room and glanced about for a place to hide.

  “I’ll be right there!” Ioan called and ran his fingers through his hair, settling it from my passionate teasing. He glanced back at me and motioned for me to hide on the floor next to the bed. I ducked down and then heard the door open.

  “Have ye seen Elle?” I heard my uncle ask gruffly.

  Ioan paused, clearly debating on how to answer.

  “She’s no’ in her room?”

  “No… but what worries me is that Cullon is missing as well…” My uncle let the words hang in the air. He assumed I was with Cullon, alone. The word compromised flashed through my mind but I dismissed it. However, it left a fearful and unsettling feeling in my belly.

  “I saw Cullon earlier and he wasn’t with Elle,” Ioan answered quickly.

  “‘Tisn’t good. Even if they’re no’ alone… people will talk…’tis too late in the night for them both ta be missin’ without tongues waggin’. ‘Tis good they’ll be married soon.” My uncle’s voice carried a certainty that was laced with a stubborn reminder aimed at Ioan.