Stages of Grace

by Carey Heywood

  After everyone is out of their kayaks and the gear is stowed, Ryan comes to collect me. He takes off his shirt, using it to wipe his face in the office. He grabs a spare one and pulls it over his head. I did my best not to drool, still a bit flustered by the idea of him liking me. When we are in the car, he asks how I got on with Jennifer.

  "She was great. I think she really liked me."

  He groans. "Did she hit on you?"

  I pause. "Not really."

  "What did she say?" He glances at me, lifting a brow.

  I’m laughing at this point. "Just that she was bummed I was with you."

  "Can't blame her. I think Darrell was trying to hit on you, too."

  "What?"

  "May have to keep you with me at all times."

  "Hush. Don’t be silly."

  "I'm really only worried about next time Jack is in town."

  "Your partner? Why?"

  "I'm scared you'll take one look at him and forget all about me."

  "Not going to happen."

  He drops me off at Kate's. We both need a shower. He jokingly suggests we save water and take a joint shower. I do my best to look shocked while images of soaping up his chest flash through my mind. Kate is on the lanai, waiting to hear all about my first day. Ryan and I decide we are going to tell Kate about us together. After chatting with Kate for a few minutes, I hurry to take my shower, wanting to look nice when Ryan comes over. I’m getting dressed when I hear my phone buzz.

  Quickly pulling my shirt on, I answer it. "Hello?"

  "Hey, stranger!"

  "Nikita, how are you?"

  "Good, just missing you. So, how's Tampa, tell me all about it."

  I tell her about the drive, the weather, my learning how to knit, and saving the best for last: Ryan.

  "Shut up! That guy who came and helped you move? Oh my God, he is so friggin’ hot. How did it happen?"

  "He took me jet skiing today. It was so intense. First, I was behind him, then he was behind me. Then he took me out to lunch and told me he was attracted to me and asked me if I would date him."

  "Whoa, and that accent. I am super jealous right now."

  "He's taking me out Friday, I'm excited but, I wonder...Do you think it's too soon? I mean, since Jon?"

  "Do you still have feelings for Jon?"

  "I think I will always miss what we had, sometimes I'm sad when I think about it, or angry, when I think about how he acted. I don't know if I'll ever forgive him, it's weird. I'm not in love with him anymore but we were together for so long it's just complicated."

  "I get that, you can't just turn off feelings like that, but I don't think you're rushing. Didn't you say you guys have dinner together every night? Don't stress about it, just do what feels right. How's living with your grandmother? Didn't you say she's helping you make a scarf? Kim just bought a gorgeous scarf off Etsy. Text me a picture of the one you made, and I'll show it to everyone. While you're at it, send a picture of Ryan too. "

  I'm just hanging up when I hear Ryan walk in. Crap. I wanted to brush my hair and put on some make up. I should have been multitasking while I was on the phone with Nikita but was too distracted talking. I grab my brush and quickly pull it through my still slightly damp hair. When I turn, he's leaning against my doorframe. Something comes over me, and I rush over to hug him.

  His arms wrap around me. "Hey."

  "Hi."

  "You're going to be trouble. I can tell."

  I go to pull away, and he holds me tighter. "No, no. I'm smelling your hair."

  I tilt my face up to his and smile. He leans down and softly brushes his lips over mine. Our eyes are locked as he pulls back a breath. The look in his eyes makes me wonder if he acted on impulse. It feels like he is trying to gauge my reaction. I want him to know how happy I am that he kissed me. I put my hands around his neck and pull his lips back to mine. This kiss is not delicate. It is not sweet. Ryan pushes me up against the wall. My hands knot in his hair. His hands pull my hips tightly to him. His lips move to my neck as he pulls one of my legs up to his waist.

  I try to catch my breath but can’t as long as he is touching me, I gently push him back, and my eyes widen when I see the hunger in his. This is going to be interesting. I bite my lip and grab his hand, pulling him towards Kate. I don't trust myself alone with him right now. Kate is sitting on the lanai, knitting. I keep his hand in mine and pull him into the room with me.

  When Kate looks up and sees we are holding hands, she mutters, "Took you two long enough," before going back to her knitting.

  "Kate!"

  "What? You should've heard him talk about you when you went back to Cleveland."

  He does his best to not look embarrassed. "What can I say? I was enchanted from the moment I first met you."

  "Really?"

  "Really." He leans down, brushing his lips against my cheek.

  Kate sets her knitting down beside her and stands to hug and kiss both of us. "I say this is a reason to celebrate. Ryan, go open a bottle of wine." Once he is out of the room, she turns to me. "Are you happy, dear?"

  I blush and nod, asking her if she thinks it’s too fast.

  "It only takes a moment, sweetheart, if it's the right person."

  Ryan walks back out with three glasses. After handing one to Kate and to me, he stands next to me with his arm around my waist.

  After taking a drink, I jump. "I forgot. Here, can you hold this?" I hand my glass to Ryan. "Nikita asked that I send her a picture of my scarf. I'll go grab it from my room. Will you take the picture?"

  Ryan nods, setting both of our glasses down on the table behind him. I hurry back in, handing him my cell phone. I am wrapping the scarf around my neck when the phone buzzes in his hand. He passes it to me, and I check it. It’s a text from Jon. I miss you, is all it says. I close my eyes, and let my hand drop to my side.

  "Grace, are you alright?"

  I open my eyes and meet Ryan's concerned gaze. "It's nothing." I click to the camera feature of my phone and hand it back to him

  Ryan snaps a couple of pictures of me and passes my phone back to me. After making sure I look okay in the pictures, I pick my favorite one and text it to Nikita. I turn off the screen and put it in my pocket as I move to stand beside Ryan.

  "Thank you." He slides his arm back around my waist, giving me my glass of wine.

  Kate goes into the kitchen to take a casserole out of the oven.

  "Are you sure you're alright?" Ryan asks, turning to face me.

  "I am. It was a text from Jon. I just didn’t expect to hear from him again."

  "You don’t have to tell me."

  "I know. I’m just nervous about liking you so soon after things ended with him."

  "I don’t want to rush you."

  "It's not that. I just worry that you'll think less of me."

  "Impossible."

  I give him a half smile. He's adorable, and the way he's looking at me makes me feel suddenly shy. It’s still hard for me to understand that he's interested in me. I lean against him, putting my head down. Ryan sets his wine glass down and slowly rubs his hands up and down my back. I feel myself relax into him, and he leans his cheek on the top of my head.

  "Grace, I want you to know I adore you, and the thought that you might return those feelings makes me very happy." I feel his chest lift as he inhales deeply and I look up at him.

  "Your hair smells so good." He playfully runs his nose back and forth in my hair, making me laugh.

  "Ryan, stop smelling her and set the table."

  "Yes, ma'am," He says, grinning. He kisses me on the cheek before dropping his arms and walking to the kitchen.

  Over dinner, I'm hypersensitive to Ryan. He seems to be discreetly touching me, avoiding Kate's notice. His knee bumps mine. His hand accidentally brushes my elbow. I can tell what he is doing. Ryan jumps up to help me when I get up to clear the table.

  "I really want to kiss you again," he whispers to me as I load dishes into the washer.

/>   I peek out the window over the sink that opens onto the pool deck to check where Kate is. Seeing her busy with her knitting, I turn and quickly give him a peck on the lips. Ryan informs me that is not the kind of kiss he was hoping for before turning me to face him, his hands tight on my hips. My mouth drops into an o shape as he slowly lowers his lips to mine. At first, his kiss is soft and feather light, but his kiss deepens as he pulls me to him. When I sigh, his tongue caresses my bottom lip before brushing over my own. My hands rise to wrap around his neck as I arch my body into his.

  "Am I interrupting?" Kate is leaning on the kitchen table.

  I turn quickly and reach for the next plate. "I, um, well, no."

  "Yep, Kate. You are definitely interrupting," Ryan says, nuzzling his nose into my hair.

  "Ryan!"

  "What?"

  "He's fine, dear. I just wanted to let you kids know that I'm going to bed." Kate winks at us before turning and going to her room.

  I stand there, shaking my head. First, I cannot believe my grandmother just winked at me, and second, we've just barely finished dinner. Kate never goes to bed this early. I can feel the heat coming off Ryan. I just don’t know what to do or how far he wants to go. Will he be fine with just kissing? I’m not sure I’m ready for anything else.

  "Want to go for a swim, Grace?"

  "Okay. I have to change first."

  "Alright. You go change, and I'll finish up in here."

  I change into one of my new two-piece suits and meet him by the pool. He's already in the water. His head is down, like a crocodile, only his green eyes visible. I slowly make my way down the stairs as he swims over to me. He's in front of me as my foot touches the pool floor. He takes my hand, pulling me to the deeper side. When we stop, I sink down and let the water cover me, standing back up once my hair is wet.

  "Like Aphrodite rising from the surf."

  "Hush."

  "Make me." He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in tight.

  I place my hands on his arms, feeling the strength in them. I slide them up to his shoulders and then run my fingers in his hair as I tug his face towards mine. His lips are soft as he molds them to mine. I am drunk off of his touch, his hands trailing lazily up and down my back. His fingertips leave a trail of goose bumps in their wake. I shiver against him, making him pull me closer.

  "Are you cold, Grace?" he says, moving his lips to my neck.

  I shake my head and wrap my arms tightly around his neck. Suddenly, he pulls away, and I look at him, confused.

  "Trying not to rush things."

  "Oh."

  "You have no idea how badly I want you right now."

  I feel heat rush to my cheeks.

  "I should probably go before I ravish you on the pool deck."

  I don’t want him to leave but am not ready for what might happen if he stays. I get out of the pool and grab a towel for each of us. Ryan quickly towels off and hangs it on a hook by the pool. He pulls my towel from my hands and wraps it around my shoulders. He pulls me to him and captures my mouth again.

  After kissing me soundly, he nips my ear. "See you in the morning."

  I watch him walk across the backyard and to his house. He gives me a smile and wave just before he is out of sight. I go inside, locking up behind me. After changing for bed I look at my phone, still unsure of what to do with Jon's text. Should I even reply? What can I say in response to that? I have a new text. From him? I feel silly when I see it’s from Nikita instead. She loves the scarf and wants one herself. She specifically requests a purple one. I'm too amped to sleep, and it's still early. I pull out my shawl project, and I work on it as I think about Ryan and how he makes me feel. Stopping once my hands feel like they are going to fall off, I go to sleep.

  ~*~

  Ryan and I fall into a comfortable rhythm, spending most of each day together. On Thursday, Ryan takes a group out fishing and asks if I'd like to be his first mate. The only boat I've ever been on is the kayak. The idea of being so far from the shore is exciting. He's taking a group of six out into the gulf for the day. Darrell is also going. Ryan and Jack own two boats for offshore fishing: a swanky luxury mini yacht named Seabreeze and a simple flats fishing boat named Squirt. The group going out that day consists of local lawyers celebrating a merger. Since they'll be taking Seabreeze, Ryan thinks I'll have fun coming along.

  A couple of the attorneys attempt to flirt with me until Ryan announces that I'm his girlfriend and not part of the tour. Hearing that title shocks me. I know we're dating, but it overwhelms me that he already considers me his girlfriend. I’m stressing out over it so much that it must become obvious to him. He pulls me aside to explain he used the term to keep the guys from flirting with me and that he isn’t trying to rush me. Does that mean he doesn’t want me to be his girlfriend? I curse myself for my emotions being so all over the place. I don’t know how to feel about him calling me his girlfriend. Now it seems to bother me that he may not have meant it. Our first official date is tomorrow. I still have no idea where he's taking me.

  The charter trip is fun but more work than I'd expected. When Ryan drops me off, I tell him I'll probably eat something and go straight to bed. The next day, I stay in the office having had too much sun the day before. We're busy but somehow the day still seems to drag. I’m counting down the minutes until my date. I'm having fun working with him, even though I spent Friday in the office he makes a point to swing by and steal kisses whenever he's free. I feel so comfortable around him, it doesn’t stop my heart from racing each time he is near me.

  I absentmindedly check the time on my cell phone. I have a text from Nikita asking me how her scarf is coming along. I finished the shawl for Kate but haven't given it to her yet. I want it to be special, like a gift to thank Kate and make sure she knows how much everything she does means to me. I haven’t even started the scarf. I'm not even sure if Kate has purple yarn or if I will need to go buy some. I’m really getting into the idea of creation, of how cool it feels to make something. I even talk to Ryan about it during one of our drives into work. He tells me I'm adorable and if I like I can knit at work whenever we're slow.

  "Grace?"

  I look up. "Sorry."

  "Did you hear what I asked?" Jennifer huffs.

  "I didn’t. What's up?"

  "So do you know where you guys are going tonight?"

  "Ugh. No, and it's driving me crazy. I don’t like surprises, and I'm not sure how to dress. Ryan says anything is fine but that doesn’t help."

  "Have you guys done it yet?"

  "Jennifer!"

  "Is that a yes or a no?"

  "It’s a none of your business."

  "Oh, come on. You guys live right next door to each other, and I've totally seen you making out with him when you think no one is watching."

  I flush. "Either way…"

  "If you haven’t, do you think tonight will be the night?"

  I hadn’t thought about that. What if that's what he’s planning? I look down to the dock where Ryan is standing. His back is to me. He must have just gotten out of the water. I can see drips of water coming off of his suit as it clings to him in a mouthwatering way. It’s like he can sense my eyes, and he turns to look back at me. He waves, so I blow him a kiss. Instead of playfully catching it like your average male, Ryan sprints to me and kisses me soundly. When he finishes, Ryan takes in my glazed expression with twinkling eyes and is off again back to the dock.

  "You guys are so doing it tonight," Jennifer mumbles to herself.

  I feel warm all over at the thought. I check the time again and sigh, thinking it's not moving fast enough. The sound of a little black sports car squealing into their parking lot startles me.

  "Da na na na." Jennifer hums “Bad to the Bone.”

  "Someone you know?"

  "Yep. Jack's back."

  Oh, Jack, the partner with a bad case of wanderlust. I wonder if he even knows who I am or that I'm working here. I stand as he approaches us.

&nbs
p; Whether he knows who I am or not is quickly answered with a, "So this must be Ryan's girl."

  I redden and put out my hand.

  Jack instead pulls me into a hug. "Lucky guy."

  "Unhand my woman, scoundrel" Ryan walks up grinning.

  "You never were good at sharing." Jack releases me and greets Ryan with a light punch on the shoulder.

  "This is a surprise. What brings you into town?"

  "My oldest, confirmed bachelor best friend meets a girl he can't stop talking about. I was too intrigued not to come see what all of the fuss was about."

  I feel like locking myself in the bathroom, I don’t know if I've ever felt this evaluated before. Ryan comes to stand next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I shoot him a confused look, and he shrugs, waiting for the evaluation to be complete.

  After another moment, Ryan says, "Well?"

  "She's smoking. Well done, you. Sure you won't share?"

  My mouth drops.

  "No chance."

  "Worth a shot."

  "I'm still standing here" I add.

  "Right. Grace, this is Jack. Jack, this is Grace."

  "We've met."

  "So really, why are you in town?"

  "Bored mainly. Think Kate will mind another for dinner?"

  "It will just be the two of you. Grace and I have plans tonight."

  "I can call her," I offer, pleased my date is still on.

  "That'd be great."

  I grab my cell and dial Kate. When I explain, a third time that Jack is in town and would like to come for dinner, my grandmother sounds thrilled.

  "Well, that's settled. So, where are you two headed tonight?"

  "That's a surprise."

  Jack turns to me. "Need a lift home?"

  "I already have a ride," I say confused.

  "Come on. It’ll give you more time to primp, and I can hang out with Kate."

  "I don’t primp."

  "Ever?" He seems shocked.

  "Well, I guess sometimes." This really is the strangest conversation.