Stages of Grace

by Carey Heywood

  "And for tonight?"

  "I have no idea where we are going." I glance up at Ryan. "He said to wear anything I'd like."

  "That sounds clothing optional to me."

  Who is this guy?

  Ryan looks down at me. "It's not that kind of date."

  "Bummer. Those are the best kind." He turns to Jennifer. "Still only into chicks?"

  "Fraid so."

  "So how long will you be in town?"

  "Maybe a week. Can I crash in the spare?"

  He hesitates. "Sure. In fact, it's almost quitting time. Jennifer, can you close up?"

  She nods, and he turns to lead me out of the office. I stop, turning back to grab my purse and wave goodbye to Jennifer before reaching for his hand. Jack pulls out in front of us and speeds off.

  "Well he's interesting."

  "Jack's a character."

  "And a flirt."

  "Definitely a flirt. Good thing I asked you out before he got here."

  "Why?"

  "The girls go for Jack."

  "Not for me. Thanks. My friend Nikita would be all over him, besides you have the hot accent."

  Ryan relaxes "Hot? Well, when you put it that way."

  Jack is parked in front of Kate's house when we pull up.

  "So what time are you picking me up?"

  "Seven. Feel free to primp."

  "Good to know," I say, leaning over to give him a kiss.

  He puts his hand on the back of my neck and deepens it. When I pull back, he has a dreamy expression on his face. He looks so cute I give him another quick peck before getting out of the car. I can hear Kate and Jack out by the pool. His voice carries, and I laugh when I realize he's flirting with Kate. I can tell Kate's loving every second of it.

  "Hello, Kate. Jack."

  "Oh, Grace, dear. Come sit with us. Jack was just telling me the funniest story about this girl in Brazil."

  "Can’t. I've been told to ‘primp.’” Then I remember Nikita's text. "Kate, do you have any purple yarn?"

  "Another knitter?" Jack asks.

  "I taught her myself. And yes, dear, I do." Kate beams and then reaches into her basket for a couple skeins.

  Taking them, I thank her before heading to my room. Once there, I regard my closet. Primp. That means dressed up, right? But how dressed up? I settle on a black maxi skirt with a white V-necked tank and pair it with a wide brown leather belt and sandals. I take a quick shower and shave my legs. After changing into my outfit, I dry my hair and put on some make up. Not much, mainly my eyes and some lip gloss. I think about curling my hair, but it seems like a wasted effort. Without tons of hairspray, the curls will never hold. I wear it down but slip an elastic around my wrist in case I want to pull it up.

  After a spray of perfume, I grab one skein and my needles and sit with Kate and Jack.

  "I must be losing my touch," Jack says, shaking his head a few minutes later, looking at the two of us knitting.

  I have to laugh. That's pretty funny.

  "So what are you making, Grace?"

  "A scarf for one of my friends in Cleveland."

  "How long does it take to make one?"

  "Not long. Maybe three days if I knit in the evenings."

  "You could sell them."

  "No one would ever buy something from me."

  "You'd be surprised. There’s this website I heard about called something like Easy…Tesey."

  "Etsy?"

  "That's it. I was talking to someone on my plane over about it."

  "One of my old co-workers bought a scarf like this from there."

  "You should find out how much she paid for it." He turns to Kate. "How much do each one of those balls of yarn cost?"

  "These? Maybe three dollars, but there are more expensive options."

  "How many balls—"

  "Skeins," she corrects.

  "How many skeins does it take to make a scarf?"

  "If it is really wide or long, at least two."

  "That's all? You could make a serious profit."

  "Talking numbers again?" Ryan pops his head around the corner.

  Seeing how he's dressed, I'm happy with my outfit. He’s wearing a pair of tan khakis and a charcoal grey dress shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. He leans down to give Kate a kiss on the check, never taking his eyes off of me.

  "Telling Grace she should try and sell her scarves."

  "You might want to listen to him, Grace. Jack has very good business sense."

  "I'll think about it," I say, standing and walking over to Ryan.

  "You look lovely," he breathes into my ear, making me shiver.

  "You kids have fun tonight." Kate waves us off.

  I wonder if it’s so she can be alone with Jack again. Looks like Kate's a flirt too. Ryan holds my hand as he walks me to his car and opens my door for me.

  "So do I get to know where we're going yet?"

  "Nope. Still a surprise."

  I'm not expecting us to go to work. "Um, did you need to pick something up from the office?"

  "You'll see."

  He comes around and opens my door. I've never been here at night. There are white Christmas-style lights wrapped around the railing of the dock, and the Seabreeze is lit up similarly, with lights coiled around the metal guards. He takes my hand and leads me down to the dock. He helps me onto the boat, and I see there is a table set on its deck.

  "This is beautiful, Ryan."

  "This is nothing. You are beautiful. Want to drive?"

  "But it's dark out."

  "So is that a no?"

  "How will I know where to go?"

  "You'll have me."

  Ryan unties the ropes securing the boat to the dock and uses a long wooden pole to push it clear. He has it away from the dock before he motions for me to come and take the wheel. He stands behind me, hands resting on my hips. He whispers directions in my ear. I look back to watch the lights from the shoreline grow smaller. The water is fairly calm. Once we're maybe twenty minutes out, he cuts the engine and drops the anchor. The moon is near full and out over the water. It gives more light than I'd have expected. It’s as though its glow is diminished by all of the electric lights I'm accustomed to.

  We sit, and I laugh when Ryan pulls out a bag of take out and milkshakes from the burger joint. I figure he must have had help, maybe Jennifer. He even remembers I like artichokes on my burger. As we eat, the water gently laps the sides of the boat. This is only my second time sailing, but I can tell how much it means to Ryan. I munch on an onion ring, belatedly worrying over my breath. Will it matter since he is eating them too? When I excuse myself to use the restroom, I'm thrilled to see a bowl of mints below deck.

  Ryan is cleaning up when I come back up. After stowing a trash bag, he crooks his finger at me, motioning me to come to him. He's crouched when I stand in front of him. He slowly rises, running his hands up the sides of my legs as he does. My breath catches in my throat as I think back to what Jennifer had said. Does he want to sleep with me? Tonight? There’s a cushioned bench behind him, and he tugs me down with him as he sits. I am in his lap, my legs draped over to one side.

  My hands are on his shoulders. He has one arm tightly wrapped around my waist. His other arm starts on the small of my back and slides upward and under my hair to the back of my neck. He pulls my face to his. My arms tighten around his neck when he bites my lip. I moan when he moves his lips to my neck and then lower, to the curves visible from the top of my V-neck. The bench is wide enough for him to shift us to where we are lying side by side. He gently runs his fingers up and down my arm, laughing at the sea of goose bumps his fingers leave in their wake. Shivering, I move closer to him. He moves his hand to my neck. His fingers are in my hair, and his thumb draws lazy circles on my earlobe.

  "You are so lovely."

  I bury my face in his neck, embarrassed.

  "Don't be shy."

  I keep my head down, shaking it. This whole thing is so surreal and different from where I was jus
t two months ago. It’s hard for me to reconcile that point of my life to now. It almost doesn’t feel real. Here I am, on a boat, in the Gulf of Mexico, in the arms of a beautiful man.

  "Grace, look at me."

  My eyes rise to meet his, and I'm trapped in the intensity of them. We're almost nose to nose, and time seems to stop as I feel his desire. I bite my lip and watch as his eyes drop to my mouth, the corners of his lips turning up as he brings his eyes back to mine. We both turn at the sound of a large splash near the boat.

  "What was that?"

  "Don’t worry. Probably just a big fish." He laughs at my expression. "You’re safe with me."

  I snuggle back into his arms, and he softly rubs his hand up and down my back. I’m not sure what kind of cologne he uses but love the way it smells. I remember the day I held his hoodie to my face to smell it. This is way better. Something about the rocking of the boat and the warmth of his embrace lulls me to sleep. I wake with a start when he nibbles on my ear. It takes me a moment to understand where I am, and then my eyes snap to his shirt to make sure I've not done something embarrassing like drool on him. Thankfully, I have not.

  "We should be heading back."

  "Why? Let's just stay out here."

  "Not tonight. But maybe we can sail one weekend somewhere."

  "I'd like that."

  His lips move to my neck. "Now that I've woken you. I don’t want to go back."

  "Then don’t."

  "Would you really like to sleep out here?"

  I turn and look up at the sky. It’s like I've never seen it before. So clear and full of stars, but as warm as Ryan is, it is getting chilly.

  "It is a bit cold, but it's so beautiful."

  "It’s warmer in the cabin. There's a bed down there if you'd like to sleep on the boat tonight."

  "Where will you sleep?"

  "I'll be fine up here with some blankets."

  "Would you like to go in the cabin with me?"

  "I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything."

  "I don’t. I just like the idea of falling asleep in your arms. Besides, we've slept in the same room before."

  "But not the same bed."

  "I know."

  "You sure?"

  I sit up and pull him with me below deck. The door to the cabin is just past the bathroom. In the room is a platform-styled queen bed with a thick blue comforter on it. I slip off my sandals and lay back on the bed as he slowly closes the door behind him, watching me. I scoot back to the pillows and pull the comforter from underneath me to cover myself. Once I’m settled, he lays down next to me but on top of the covers.

  "Ryan, come on. Get under the covers."

  He groans, sitting up to kick off his shoes before joining me. Even though I was tired before, the idea that I'm lying in a bed with him has me wired awake, and considering how chilly it is outside, it's getting stuffy in here. Ryan must feel that way as well. He sits up to slide open two small circular windows that are on either side of the cabin to allow the air to circulate. I push the comforter down, and he pulls me into his arms. His kisses are urgent, and his hands are buried in my hair. I cling to him as he lowers me onto the bed and covers me with his body.

  My hands wrap around his back, and I pull him closer to me. I start tugging on his shirt, wanting to feel his skin. He sits up and pulls it and the t-shirt he wears under it off. Before he lays back down, I bring my hands up to his chest. He’s on the lean side, but his muscles are defined in a way that's making my mouth water. His shoulders and biceps are rock hard, and I know it’s from all of the lifting and kayaking he does at work. He has an amused expression on his face as I explore the contours of his body.

  "What?" I ask, catching his eye.

  He shrugs, a very mischievous look on his face. "Just looking forward to my turn."

  I blush, turning to hide my face in a pillow.

  "Had not meant for that to be a scary thing." He playfully tugs on my arm. "Grace, I'm not in any hurry. Well, truthfully, I'd love for stuff to happen sooner rather than the alternative. What I'm trying to say is never, ever feel rushed with me, okay? And I promise to sit on my hands if you want to touch me again because that felt heavenly."

  I peek up at him before sitting back up, bringing my hands to touch him again. I hear him sharply inhale when I lean down to kiss his chest. When I look back up at him, he captures my mouth with his. A moan escapes my lips, and Ryan pulls back. I look at him, confused.

  "Just need a minute. Scratch that, Maybe an hour."

  I lie back against the pillows and bite the knuckle of my index finger to hold back a laugh. It’s hard not to feel giddy looking at this beautiful man and knowing the effect I am having on him. It makes me feel dizzy and amazed that this is actually happening. Knowing how he is seals it for me; how he flew to Cleveland to help me move down here; how he takes care of Kate. I picture the sweet little grannies gushing over him at the knitting club. When I had fallen in love with Jon, there was this bad boy appeal to him. He'd talked me into ditching the date I was on to be with him. It had been exciting, but when times got rough, he'd taken it out on me.

  Ryan doesn’t need to act like that. There is no reason for him to be aggressive or a bully. Like when those lawyers made a pass at me. He had not yelled or threatened them, just said I was his girlfriend and that was that. I know, though, just as he had said above on the deck, that he will protect me.

  He swings his legs over the side of the bed. On my knees, I move over to him and begin gently kissing his back.

  "Ryan?"

  He turns to look at me.

  "What if I don’t want to wait?"

  I grab his hand and pull him back to me before unhooking my belt and dropping it over the side of the bed. Then I take his hands and place them on the hem of my shirt and lift my arms up in the air for him to pull it off of me. He leans down to kiss the swell of my breasts as I reach behind to unclasp my bra. When it is unhooked, he slowly slides it from me.

  "Are you sure?"

  I nod, inching closer to him. He takes me in his arms, and the sensation of his bare chest on mine is amazing. He lowers me to the bed and eases my skirt down my legs until it joins the pile of clothes on the cabin floor. He then explores my body with his mouth and hands. I learn what it means to be cherished. He asks me over and over if I’m sure, so cautious about crossing a line with me. It gets to the point where I finally beg him to take me. He makes short work of the rest of his clothes after that. He panics momentarily, looking for a condom and then checks the expiration of it once he finds one. He shrugs, admitting it has been a while. In fact, the condom is probably Darrell's. I don’t care. I’m just relieved he's able to find one.

  Ryan makes love to me on that boat as it rocks in the Gulf of Mexico and the fresh sea air drifts through the windows. In the end, as we lay in a panting tangle of arms and legs, I feel wonderful, worshipped. He pulls me closer to him and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear before kissing me. We fall asleep like that. The next morning, when I wake up in his arms, I look up to see him grinning down at me.

  He kisses my forehead. "I did not expect that to happen."

  I run my nose over his earlobe. "Happy?"

  "Thrilled. Except for the fact that you'll be sleeping next door and not in my arms tonight."

  "I can sleep over if you'd like."

  "I'd like that very much. I think we should head back before Kate starts to worry."

  We both slowly dress. Ryan uses the bathroom first before heading up to pull the anchor. I find a tube of toothpaste in the bathroom and use my finger to brush my teeth as best as I can before going to join him. He hasn’t put his dress shirt back on. Watching him steer the boat in his khakis and undershirt is such a turn on. I walk over and wrap my arms around his waist. He reaches around and pulls me in front of him, kissing the back of my head. He steers with one hand, the other pulling me to him. I bring both of my arms to hold his arm tighter to my chest.

  When we get cl
oser to the dock, Ryan uses the hook end of the long wooden pole he had used to push us from the dock the night before. He has me hold the pole while he jumps onto the dock and ties the boat to two posts. I help him collect our things and the trash from the boat before he helps me off. Walking back up the hill towards his car, I try to wrap my brain around the fact that I had just made love on a boat with the Adonis standing beside me. He drives most of the way with one hand on my thigh, lazily rubbing his thumb back and forth. He parks in front of Kate's house and walks me to the door. I had meant to give him a sweet peck before I walk in, but he deepens it, pulling me to him.

  "Do you want me to come in with you?"

  "Don’t be silly. Besides, you probably have Jack wondering where you are."

  He kisses me again before turning to walk home. I slip inside and go to find Kate, going first to the lanai. When I walk in, I’m surprised to see Jack eating breakfast with Kate. And here I am, strolling in and wearing my clothes from last night. The look Jack gives me makes me blush further.

  "Hi, Kate. Hello, Jack. Um, just wanted to let you know I was home."

  "Sit, dear. We want to hear all about your date."

  "Is it okay if I take a quick shower first?"

  "Feeling dirty?" Jack grins at me.

  "Shut it, mate." Ryan walks in behind me and kisses my cheek.

  "I thought you were going home."

  "Figured Jack came over here."

  "Why don’t you hang out with them? I'd really like to change."

  "Of course." He kisses me sweetly, and I head to my room.

  I take a quick shower, throwing on a polo and some shorts, then brush my teeth and hair before going back out to the pool deck. Kate is knitting while Ryan tells them about our date. When I walk in, Jack is questioning my choice of burger toppings.

  "It's really good," I argue.

  "Still sounds gross."

  "Then don’t eat it."

  "Trust me, I won't."

  "So did you stay on the boat all night?" Kate asks.

  I look at Ryan.

  "Well, I know they didn’t come back to Ryan's place."

  "Yes, we spent the night on the boat. That's enough about that. Kate, how was your evening?" I say, picking up my knitting.

  We all sit around chatting after that, Jack unsuccessfully tries to steer the conversation back to what happened on our date a couple of times. Before long, Ryan and Jack leave. Ryan needs a shower, and Jack is actually in town to check out some real estate.