Claiming His Forever (Battle Born MC Book 8)

by Scarlett Black

  I type back a reply that I’m on my way. All this shit, again, my fault. My life be damned, I jump on my bike and race to the clubhouse just in time to leave with the MC to go hunt down the men who took one of our own.

  Miles away from home, we catch up to the men responsible, our Prez up front leading the pack of wolves ready to kill. A truck leads us into the desert far away from humanity into Death Valley. Chaos erupts as a truck slams into the lead truck in the caravan of their captures. Dust floats through the air and we charge forward, ready to engage in war.

  By the time we catch up to Blade and Tank, the men responsible are dead, except one. Each one of us jumped from our bikes, joining in the retribution. Tank takes a crying Cash to the SUV and is gone just as quickly as he arrived. At least the boy survived. Beating the man with their fists, raising my boot, I used all my strength to stomp on the face that threatened to take something from us. The face of our enemy.

  The man’s face is bloody and unrecognizable. He doesn’t even appear to be breathing, but he is. We tie him up and toss him like trash into the rock crawler truck Saint drove. A few men stay behind with our bikes, but I jump in and head out deeper into the desert. He’s dragged from the truck and through the sand before we shred the man's clothes away with our blades. Water is doused on his face before he wakes and realizes that he’s staked to the hot sand. It’s hot enough to fry his flesh. The heat emits from the surface in waves. He winces from the burns from both the sun and the sand he lays on top of.

  We knew someone was watching us, the club, we just didn’t know who until today. He confesses that he was looking for revenge. Tami stole a diamond from him and then we inadvertently rescued her from being sold in the sex trade. He wanted his money and revenge for what happened years ago.

  We had no idea that Tami went and talked with her old friend who was kidnapped with her back then. She sold Tami out for payback. Tami never endured the horrific things she did, so she blamed her. All of this for money. I never saw this coming. Greedy fucks.

  The Prez tortures the information out of him with a scorpion before carving the word ‘THIEF’ into his bloody and bruised chest. Cuervo heads our way, the heels of his cowboy boots sinking into the sand. But what he holds sends a shiver up my spine. A rattlesnake hisses as he carries it, holding onto his head with one hand as the body coils around his arm, rattling, warning Cuervo there is death behind his bite.

  The man blubbers with an intense fear of what’s to come. Snot and tears mix in with the blood running from his nose and eyes. “No, just shoot me!”

  Cuervo kneels next to the man, reciting the Prayer of the Holy Death, “La Santa Muerte, grant us your protection.” The snake hisses and Cuervo brings the fangs to the man’s flesh at his leg and the venom seeps into his body. The screams of terror would bring a lesser man to his knees, but not the men of Battle Born.

  Cuervo pulls the snake away and holds it steady to a rock on the desert floor. Taking his machete out he brings the weapon down. Cutting the head from the body, tossing the head next to the thief. Cuervo then cuts off the rattle and pockets it. Silently, he walks off into the desert alone.

  The Prez takes a picture of the struggling man before walking over to me and Cowboy. “Stay with him. If he lives long enough, let the coyotes finish the job. Then burn and bury him.” His words sound like venom. It's hard to tell if it's just me or the situation, but I know that I let my Prez down. How could I not? I didn’t stop them in time. He wanted a location and I wasn’t fast enough. My job is to keep everyone safe and that, along with my brother, will be my regrets. I’ll never forget and I’ll work harder to never fail again.

  Pulling out a few shovels from the truck, I get to work digging a grave that will be his resting place for eternity. Sweat pours down my back. I feel lightheaded but stay on task, drinking water from the gallon jugs left in the truck. After the pit is dug, I gather the dead sagebrush and wait, wishing the fucker would die already. I will do exactly as Blade said, nothing less.

  Night falls, and as the Prez predicted, the coyotes came out and gnawed at the man's flesh. We sit yards away and listen to the howls and dog fights over the corpse. When we hear the last of the gargled noise from the quiet man, we aim our guns and shoot toward the coyotes, scaring them off.

  Cowboy and I roll the man in and pour gasoline on him before dropping a match and lighting up the night sky. The whole circumstance was ironic, being left out here with Cowboy. Blade did that on purpose. If we go back without making amends, he will continue to punish us. He must sense the same thing. “You know, if I would have known you cared for her, I would have backed off. None of us really know what you want, brother.”

  “It was hard because I didn’t know myself. It’s just that, it’s her.”

  “I’ll hold back. If you waste it, then know that she is free,” he reasons.

  Nodding is my confirmation. Words don’t need to be said. Cowboy is right—I either claim her or set her free to be loved.

  Chapter 20

  Jazzy

  My heart feels like glass. I never wanted to tell Spider about the baby we lost because I knew it would hurt him. I didn’t want to feel responsible for it and now I do. Is it really all mine though? Some things can’t be avoided. We can’t be shielded from what is meant to happen. I convince myself that letting him run out that door was the right thing to do. More than anything, I wish we could share our pain together. You can’t hold onto someone who wants to be alone.

  Until now, I didn’t understand Spider, why he kept me at arm’s length. He is me. It’s easier to stay in a place that’s safe. Close enough to not feel so alone and far enough that it’s not so lonely. My past is proof of that. I don’t want that for myself anymore. Because I care deeply for him, I make a note to call and check on him later. It can be his choice to lean on me or not. For him, I will open a healing wound to help him past his.

  My fingers trail across my chest and an idea comes to mind and I smile. I text Blade, I need a tattoo. Meet me later?

  Setting my phone down, I hear a commotion in the living room and then Vegas urgently calls for me. Jogging back into her living room, I find her ashen face. “Pawn, Tami, and Cash were followed. Pawn was beaten and they took Cash.” Gone is the urgency, replaced with a loss of hope. The words are barren of emotion. Her fear has been taken over by the news.

  My body goes limp and I fall into the couch with my head in my hands. Not this. There has been enough tragedy. The room falls into silence before Abuela breaks it. “Mijita.” Both Vegas and I look up at the same time, and Abuela smiles warmly. “We don’t know the outcome, sí? Light a candle and let's pray.”

  Vegas pulls out a box of matches from the wood stove mantel and lights the three white candles there. The three of us hold hands while Abuela prays for the family to be reunited. “Creo en Dios, Padre Todopoderoso…” She states that we believe in God and asks for him to protect them. It’s hard for me to believe in her words that she has so much trust in her faith, when I have had so little myself. However, I can’t help but to pray with her and hold onto hope myself.

  She releases our hands to touch her forehead, chest, then shoulder to shoulder before picking up the golden cross laying at her chest. Abuela places a kiss to it, whispering to the dead family that has passed on to protect our family. Her husband, Jenn’s mother, Kat’s mother, Mad Max, and Solo. What killed me was when she looked at me and said, “Y tu papa, he watches over you, mijita, and tu bebé is safe with him.”

  Tears well in my eyes and I can’t look away from the love and understanding in her sweet brown eyes. The lifeline to my angel who has gone to Heaven. Swallowing past a boulder in my throat, I blink and a tear falls. Abuela’s soft, wrinkled hand wipes it away. “I don’t know why he takes them, but he does. What is important is what we choose to do with the outcome. Find love, even though the love you had was taken. Keep it growing.”

  Vegas grabs my hand and squeezes tight. Holding onto my heart at her reaction, I
squeeze back and do the same to Abuela. Vegas grabs her other hand and the three of us find strength together. “What do we do now?” I ask her.

  Abuela’s light shines brighter in her gaze. “Vamanos. We go to the clubhouse. No use to sit around here. We have a family to fight for.”

  To do what, I’m not sure, but I get her meaning—strength in numbers.

  Vegas left to take care of Tami at the hospital. Blade was happy that we took the twins to the clubhouse where they’re safe until he returns. The Ol’ Ladies gathered around Abuela as she instructed us all what needed done. Plenty of food was made and just in time for when Pawn and Tami came back. The two of them held onto each other like their lives depended on it. They do.

  The minutes ticked by but they felt like weeks. Everyone was holding their breaths for any updates. Kat was locked up in the office that Spider was usually in. She refused any food but asked for coffee. We did our best to keep the clubhouse alive with hope. The crowning moment was when Tank came home with Cash. The relief was like a tidal wave. Not a person didn’t drop hundreds of pounds of weight at the sight.

  Watching the reunion of the three of them was the most amazing, thrilling experience I’ve ever encountered. My parents had love, but to watch Pawn and Tami hold on to their family, their love, was a miracle. One that I dream for and want for myself.

  The stressed faces and exhausted bodies pile in and the relief they see at the food is comforting. I envy my grandmother. Her losses have been great, but here she stands as a staple for her family, a calling that she takes great pride in. There is only one of her and suddenly I fear the loss of her, what that would be like. I hate it. She must sense me and winks at me. Suddenly, I want to be her—smart, strong, and full of love. All the pretenses I had before to be strong and independent, gone. I need my family more than any other ambitions in life.

  Now that Cash is home safe, my time is up. I need to get home to my business and Fuego is worried about his mom being gone. He wants her in his care, or more importantly, he hates sharing her because she takes care of them. I can’t blame him one bit.

  “You ready to go home?” I ask Abuela and give her a hug.

  “Sí. Vamanos.”

  Looking around, I can’t find Spider or Cowboy anywhere. Where is my lost man? Spider, are you okay? I wonder, and feel deep down to my bones that a small piece of me will always be claimed by that man.

  Chapter 21

  Spider

  Cowboy and I ride home at dawn with an understanding between us. For now, Jazzy is mine. I realize this is true with all men, the instinct to take something so beautiful and claim it as their own. I will have a piece of her no matter what. What is hard to know is how will I make her happy? Jazzy let me go because she believed I didn’t want her. I needed her so bad, but our timing was off. As much as I hated it, we both needed the time to work our lives out. The way I went about it was wrong, but I can’t look back. Now, she is ready for more in her life and I can’t blame her for wanting what her cousins and friends have in theirs. Someone to come home to. To have her back, a family.

  The road provides the lulling speed, not only for the ride but to think. My mind processes what has happened. The tie between us that can never be broken—our daughter. If I had never met her, it would never have happened. All this drama stirred between us like a tornado would have never come about. We created a beautiful disaster. When it’s good, it’s great, and when we go to war, it’s bad.

  Jazzy said that she was tired of the fighting and wanted a good life. What she is wrong about is she’s fighting for herself, for a family that doesn’t even exist yet. Jazzy isn’t tired, she’s smart and knows what's worth fighting for, and isn’t scared to do it. She threw me away because some part of her knew she needed to trust herself before she could ever attempt to care for anyone again. Jazzy threw herself on the flames to protect me from spiraling out of control. All the while, she was hurting and held herself together.

  There’s only one way to get us to where we are going and that is in the same city together. The long-distance relationship isn’t working. We never could get us off the ground because we were too focused on surviving in the world we live in apart. Am I prepared to leave my life or for her to leave Sacramento? Asking her to do that wouldn’t happen. Jazzy opened her business and she is closer to her mother in California.

  All these thoughts swirl around, the biggest one being, what do I want. Seeing how close Pawn had come to losing his son but didn’t, the man would fight to his death for us and them. All this time, haven’t I been doing that already? I hate the idea of another man coming to her and having a baby with her. Something rooted deep in me once we had each other and once my baby was inside her.

  Jazzy belongs to me and me alone.

  I hit the throttle and propel my bike at breakneck speed through the fiery heat of the empty dessert. Every mile that I get closer, it cements in my life what will happen. The web I will have to spin to capture the heart of the woman that I broke and shoved aside. I’ll make it impossible for her to tell me no. I want her. The family that she pictures and the peace she sees in the arms of the man she trusts. I believe in her dreams because she has caught me in her own web. Jazzy has claimed me and she doesn’t even know what is coming yet.

  Skidding into the compound, I rush inside, hoping to find her there. Would she wait for me? Even though it’s a stretch, I still hope. The quiet tells me otherwise. I check the extra rooms and deflate when I find Pawn at the bar alone.

  “Did Jazzy leave back to Sacramento, do you know?” He sips his coffee, ignoring my question, then pushes a stool out with his foot. The brother looks like hell. Bruises cover his ribs and face. The swelling is so bad that his eyes are barely open. His arm is in a cast in a sling at his chest. He did it for his son and Tami. The war he has fought to get here is indescribable. I can't believe there was a time I ever felt sorry for him. He never deserved that. I was wrong, he deserves my respect and more.

  “Tell me what happened out there. Every. Fuckin’. Detail.” His voice is raspy with hate and revenge. Pouring myself a whiskey, I tell him the entire story, to the man’s agonizing last moments of being eaten alive, burned, then buried. He nods his head. “Thank you, brother.”

  Bowing my head, I hate his thanks. “I didn’t earn it from you. I’m sorry I let you down and Cash was taken. I’m sorry…” The confession that is about to leave my lips is the hardest. “It’s my fault that Solo died. I should have been more aware, and it slipped past me. His death is on me.”

  I wait for his words of hatred, for his fist to rain down on me for the hell I have caused. It never comes and I look up. Pawn doesn’t flinch or move before he whispers, “It’s not your fault. They had that attack planned to perfection. They wanted Kat’s son and Solo chose to protect him. It doesn’t matter to me what you were doing that day. Our lives are our own. Don’t be so selfish to own every circumstance here. You do your part, but you’re not God. Do better and forgive yourself. No one here blames you.”

  His words crush my insides. The torture I placed on myself for his death was holding me captive. I don’t know how to let it go yet, but I want to. I want to be free of the burden. Maybe I’ll never fully heal or forget. I just hope it gets easier. “You look worse than me,” he smirks. “Go get some sleep.”

  “Thanks, Pawn. You’re a man that I respect. One that I proudly stand with.” I chug back the rest of the booze and set the glass down.

  “Now I know you’re sleep deprived. Go to bed before you say something you might regret.”

  Lightly slapping his back, I leave and drag my tired legs down the hallway and collapse into my bed.

  “I’m requesting a transfer to the Sacramento Chapter,” I said, standing before Blade in his office. I watch his astonished face raise.

  “What the FUCK for?” He doesn’t sound happy at all by request.

  “I need some space from here for a while” is all I’m prepared to give.

  Blade sits
back in his chair and looks me over as if I can give the answers by my presence. “What’s going on here, Spider, that you want to leave your brothers for? I know something has been going on with you. We’ve all seen it, but you hide, so we can’t help you with it.”

  “I’ve been a shit show for a while. I haven’t been able to get past Solo’s death. I need some space to clear my head. It’s like I can’t see past it as my fault. If I fuck it all up again, who will die this time? I can’t sleep at night and work monitoring the feeds that I haven’t missed. I need to step away.”

  His eyes squint and take in my confession for a few moments. “First, it wasn’t your fault. If it’s anyone’s, it’s mine. You don’t get to take that on your own. Second, you’re bullshitting me for the real reason. What is it? You would never walk away from your brothers.”

  “It’s part of it. The biggest is Jazz. It’s never going to work between us when we are constantly so far apart. I fucked up and I need to earn her trust back. I can’t do that from here.” I stop before I decide to trust him with the rest. “Jazz lost our baby she was carrying right after I fucked up with her. If I don’t go, she’ll never come back.”

  “I’m never going to like this. I’ll give Fuego a call and let him know to make room for you at his table.”

  I could be completely wrong, but for the first time in a long time, it feels right. Walking out of his office, I head to my room to pack a bag and start planning.

  It’s time I claimed my woman.

  PART 2