The Wolf You Feed Arc

by Angela Stevens

  ***

  They lay wrapped in each other’s arms, her body molded against his. He traced a finger along her damp, naked skin. Her breath hitched and her eyes opened. She held his gaze, giving him a shy smile. Tore’s body felt logy after their lovemaking, but he was reluctant to close his eyes and sleep. He didn’t want to lose this moment.

  Kachina’s eyes flickered and closed. She dozed while Tore listened to her shallow breathing. Calmness enveloped him. Plucking up courage to face whatever would be waiting for him inside his head, he closed his eyes too.

  Remorse, guilt, shame washed over him. But before the negative thoughts took hold, he saw Annike’s face.

  She was smiling, I love you, she whispered. Go now Tore, live your life.

  Tears slid down his cheeks. Kachina reached up and wiped them away with her thumb. He opened his eyes and gazed into her’s and something warm and beautiful began to grow inside of him.

  A soft glow filled the dark room. Annike’s gentle face appeared once more. The crushing weight of despair that had felt so heavy in his chest, dissipated as an overwhelming feeling of love flowed into him.

  Annike’s smiling image began to fade away and he touched his fingers to his lips and blew her a kiss.

  Thank you, Annike. You will always be in my heart, but thank you for showing me that there is room for another.

  The light dimmed and Annike was gone. Fate had taken her, and now fate was giving him a fresh start and a new reason to live.

  19

  For the rest of the week, Tore and Kachina talked and made plans. Now that he had opened his eyes and seen her as the loving and lovely person she was, Tore knew he wanted Kachina to join him and the boys in Arkansas.

  Each night, after he put his sons to bed, he and Kachina went to her room and explored each other. Later, they returned to Tore’s bed. In the morning, Kjell and Rune woke surrounded by the two people that loved them most in the world.

  One night, later in the week, Kachina took him by the hand, “Come with me.”

  She led him into the woods, looking at him over her shoulder as she pulled him through the trees. After a few minutes they reached a clearing and Kachina dropped his hand. “Wait.” She hunted around, pulling back foliage and parting the ferns. “There we are!” She bent down and picked up something. She held out her hand for him to see. A soft feather lay on her palm. One side was pure white, the other caramel brown. Three dark brown stripes crossed over the pale caramel and bled into the white.

  “You brought me all the way out here to see a barn owl’s feather?” Tore’s mouth turned up at the edges, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

  “No.” She whispered, “I have something else to show you.” He frowned at her. “A little while ago you shared a secret with me Tore. Showed me how you shift from human to wolf.” He nodded. “You’re not the only one who has secrets,” she whispered. “Like you, Hania and I have to hide who we are. Men fear us too.” Tore opened his mouth but she silenced him. “If we are to be together, we have to be open and honest with each other. Watch, Tore, I want to show you my secret.”

  As her words faded to nothing, there was a silent whoosh and Tore ducked as a barn owl flew up over his head. He hadn’t seen it coming and its appearance startled him. Catching his breath, he swung his head back to Kachina. “Whoa! Did you see that?”

  She was gone.

  The owl hooted, drawing his attention to the branch where it now sat. The bird held his gaze and, for a second, he recognized something familiar in its eyes. The owl broke the stare and drifted down to the woodland floor. Kachina rose from her feet as the bird vanished.

  “You…shift?”

  Tore had never heard of any human species that changed into owls, but there was no mistaking what he’d seen. Kachina and the owl were one in the same.

  “Not quite in the way you do, but yes, I can take on animal forms.”

  “Forms? You mean you can change into other animals?” Kachina nodded, wary of his reaction. “What types? Are they all birds?”

  She shook her head. “Anything. Bird, mammal, insect, even a wolf.” She giggled at the shocked look on his face.

  Tore couldn’t believe what he was hearing, they had so much more in common than he’d thought. No wonder she hadn’t freaked out when she saw his wolf. His transitioning seemed unremarkable compared to hers.

  “But I can’t do it like you. For you, I believe it’s a metamorphosis but me I’m human. It’s….” she searched for a phrase to describe what it was. “It’s a sort of magic,” she finished.

  “Magic?”

  “Um, kind of. It’s complicated. Hania has tried to explain it to me. My people have the ability to use an ancient skill. Some humans have psychic tendencies or photographic memories. My people have an inherited gift. We can pull images, and sometimes power, from nature. We adopt and harness it as our own.”

  Tore pondered on the nuances, “So you’re born with this?”

  “Yes, though it’s not usual for it to be passed down from generation to generation. For those that inherit the capability, it takes years to perfect and hone those skills. A child born with this might show early signs of the ability but won’t know how to control it. They could stumble upon it, like changing into animals when using their imagination. Sometimes if they want to hide, they blend into their environment and disappear. These skills, if not harnessed or trained, can be unreliable. Some forget how to use them or the ability becomes dormant as the child gets older. Untrained children use these skills like a mask. It is little more than a theatrical trick they perform. But if mentored, their abilities develop into something more sophisticated. They learn to call on it at will. As their control grows, they look like the creatures they mask themselves as and adopt their strengths and skills. They become that creature.”

  “It sounds complicated, can all people like you do this?”

  “To a certain degree. But only those with advanced skills can shift into many forms and harness each animal spirit well enough to be convincing. It takes years of practice and dedication.”

  Tore sat down on a broken log, his eyes wide, hundreds of questions racing through his mind, “So what about you? Have you trained?”

  “A little, but Hania only taught me enough to control what I do. My skills are basic.”

  “So do you use spells?”

  Kachina laughed and shook her head. “I have no spells or incantations. My own ability is little more than a disguise. To make the change, I need a token from the animal I want to turn into. So a few minutes ago when I became an owl, it was only possible because of the token I used.” She held out her hand, opening her fist to reveal the small brown feather. “To turn into another creature, I’d need a piece of their fur, a tooth, a feather, a piece of skin. Something that I can draw my mask from.”

  He ran his hands through his hair, considering what he’d heard. Kachina waited for his reaction. Tore pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her.

  “This is amazing! And your father, he can do this too?” She nodded. “What are you?”

  “Skin walkers. Like with Lycans, people misunderstand us. They think that we are malevolent witches. They think we transform into animals so we can borrow their speed, strength, or agility to perform evil. We’re often demonized in stories. They say we use mind control to subdue our victims, so they hurt themselves or end their own lives.”

  He pulled her into his lap and urged her to carry on. “Each tribe has its own legend, but one thing that is consistent in their stories, is that they think we are powerful witches who use our skills to do evil deeds.”

  That sounded familiar. Tore’s people had similar experiences. Stories always linked their existence to the devil.

  “In truth we’re harmless. We transform so we can live in harmony with nature. We live peaceful lives and use our powers to protect others.”

  “When you changed earlier, it was strange. I couldn’t smell you anymore. Your scent disappeared. All I coul
d pick up was the forest and the owl.”

  She laughed. “Tore, have you ever paid attention to my scent?”

  He looked confused.

  “What do I smell of right now?”

  Tore inhaled her fragrance, “Hmmm, today, vanilla and rosemary.”

  “You can’t smell me, just the rosemary I gathered earlier and the vanilla I used in the pancake batter. Skin walkers don’t have scents. We pull smells from our environment or the animal we shift into. We can even dull or remove perfumes that we’ve applied to ourselves if we want. It helps with our disguise.”

  A heady perfume of lavender oil appeared. “Is that you doing that?”

  She nodded. “The oil I use on my hair. See I can choose whether you smell it or not.”

  He pulled her to him and pushed his nose into her hair. “Mmm, I like this. You can let me smell this more often.”

  ***

  A few days later, Tore crashed through the undergrowth hot on the heels of a wild stag. It came to a sudden stop and swung its huge head around to face him. Tore skidded to a halt and the stag bellowed, flinging his antlers from side to side. The deer caught him off guard and he flew head over tail into a bush. He struggled back to his feet. His jaw ached from the antler catching him on the mouth. He gasped for air, as he watched as the stag hightailed it out of there. Tore stood panting and let him go. Good luck to you! The stag had put up a valiant fight; it deserved a second chance at life.

  Shifting back to human form, Tore rubbed his jaw. It was tender. He’d no doubt have a bruise. He dabbed around his chin. Nothing broken, thank goodness, and with any luck it hadn’t split the skin. He didn’t need any more scars. Something small on the ground caught his eye. It was a tooth. His tooth. No wonder his jaw was sore, the stag had knocked out one of his fangs.

  Tore wasn’t worried. It had happened plenty of times before. Teeth were quick to regenerate. The next time he shifted the new fang would be replaced. Turning the tooth over in his hand triggered an idea.

  ***

  When he returned to the house, he searched for Kachina. “I’ve brought you a present.” He held out his closed hand.

  She opened his fist, grinning at him. “What is it?” She picked up a leather thong and looked at the large creamy tooth hanging from it. Tore took it from her and tied it around her neck.

  “It’s mine” he explained. Her fingers clasped around it “I thought if you wore it, then you could use it to shift and we could hunt together.” A memory of hunting with Annike came into his head. “I used to hunt with my mate.” Kachina touched his face, offering comfort as the memory brought a wave of sadness with it. “If it’s okay, I’d like to hunt with you.”

  She nodded, “Do you want to try now?” she asked.

  “Are you sure?”

  She grinned back, “If you want.”

  Tore pulled off his sweater. “Come on then, you’d better get undressed” Kachina touched the tooth and closed her eyes. In an instant she was wearing his wolf form. Tore laughed out loud. He discarded his jeans and shifted too. He stood looking at her. It was like looking in a mirror. She’d cloned his image from the tooth and was identical to him in every way.

  ***

  Exhausted, they shifted back. Tore lay on his back; he’d yet to find his clothes and dress. Kachina sat next to him. Leaning back on her hands, she raised her face to the sun and sighed contentedly. He grinned at her. “You’re a fast learner.”

  She lent forwards and kissed him, “You’re a good teacher. That was fun, thank you Tore.”

  He pulled her onto him and wrapped his arms around her waist. Running his fingers over her clothing it struck him as odd that she was still dressed.

  “How come you don’t have to undress? If I shift in my clothes, I shred them. They don’t change with me like yours do.”

  “I don’t know. But I guess it’s because you make a physical change and I don’t. I’ve never thought about it before. It’s just what I’ve always done.”

  He chuckled, “So you don’t have to keep track of your pants! Well, that sounds more convenient. When I first transitioned, I was always having to round up my clothes until I remembered to shift back where I left them.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess. But unlike you, I never feel like I’m the animal that I appear to be. Given time, I might be able to behave like them. But at the moment it’s like I’m me in its body.”

  That seemed strange to Tore. In his wolf form there was no distinction. His limbs felt like those of a wolf, his senses were the heightened senses of a wolf and his instincts were pure wolf. There was no Tore or wolf. He was his wolf.

  “When I first started to be able to do this, I didn’t even notice I’d changed. My father observed me a few times and had to explain what happened. He had to show me that I’d shifted in a mirror, before I understood.”

  “I guess that was a bit of a shock.”

  She nodded. “Up to that point, I’d never seen my father do this. Never heard of anyone who was a real skin walker. I’d heard stories on the Hopi reservations, of course, but that’s all I thought they were. When I first found out I believed I was as evil as the stories said. My father told me that, although we were able to do unique things, we weren’t any different from others. He always taught me that good and evil live in us all, but it was up to each of us to choose which we wanted to be.”

  Tore pondered on Hania’s wisdom. If that were true, Erik had made a conscious decision to choose the path he’d followed.

  “It was only when we scared off the other wolves, that I realized there were others out there that were different too.”

  “Wait. You and Hania scared off my brothers? But that was a storm. I remember lightning, and...” An image of Hania standing in the midst of the storm, his arms extended, words streaming from his mouth. “Hania?”

  She glanced away, but didn’t explain. “Dad told me about you. How you’re feared because people believe you’re monsters.” She blushed. “Umm, sorry, I didn’t mean…” Tore shook his head and encouraged her to go on. He’d heard worse. “He told me, we shouldn’t judge you the way others have judged us.”

  Rolling Kachina to her back Tore threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her. “After everything that has happened, I’m so glad we found each other. Whether you’re some sort of witch or not! One thing I know is that you’ve been my salvation. You dragged me out of a dark place, and now I can go back to living. Anyone who can do that for another, witch or not, has no evil or malice in them. Even if you have bewitched me, I don’t care. I’m so glad I found you. Grateful you have rescued my soul and helped me find peace.”

  20

  Hania returned home in mid-December and found a change in the dynamics between his daughter and Tore. The new couple tried to hide it, but a father’s not blind.

  He noticed small things at first. The way Tore’s fingers caressed Kachina’s hand as she handed him his coffee cup or how she’d stare across the room at him. They spent more time together than they used to. The house felt lighter with the laughter that rang through its small rooms.

  Hania smiled to himself as he watched them across the kitchen. Tore stood next to Kachina, closer than the washing and drying of dishes should warrant. As he passed each plate to her, his hands met hers and Kachina blushed.

  The looks Tore gave Kachina, should have made Hania load his shotgun and chase him from the house. But the expression on her face, told him if he did, she’d follow her man across the fields and out of Hania’s life forever.

  He sighed. All these furtive glances, the creaking of floor boards at night, the soft sighs that escaped Kachina’s lips when Tore came close. It was enough already! “So when are you two going to tell me?”

  Kachina blushed even more. Her hands wrung the dishtowel, “T…tell you what, Father?”

  Hania noticed Tore didn’t turn around from the kitchen sink. “That you and Tore are in love.”

  Kachina looked away. Tore’s should
ers shook. Hania knew he was trying not to laugh at his openness.

  “I…I don’t know what you mean, Father, I… we…”

  Tore swung around and pulled her into his side. He placed a gentle kiss to her temple before giving his attention to Hania. “I guess we didn’t do a good job of hiding it!” Tore tried to suppress a grin that was threatening to creep across his lips. Meeting Hania’s frown, his smile slipped and a more serious expression took its place. He removed his hand from Kachina’s shoulder and called to his boys. “Rune, Kjell, go put on your coats and boots.”

  Tore faced Hania. “I’m sorry. You helped me when I thought I was lost, cared for me, fed me, looked after my boys… I shouldn’t have repaid your kindness this way. I should have respected your home. I’ll get the boys ready and we’ll leave immediately.” He held Kachina’s hands. “I’ll take a room at the hotel in town. Liam will wire me some money and then, if your father allows it, we can talk.”

  Kachina nodded and threw an angry glare at her father.

  Hania stood. Now he was tempted to get his shotgun. This boy was not going to break his daughter’s heart! “You leave and I will think you took me as a fool, Tore. I was merely making an observation, I’m tired of hearing you guys sneaking around and catching the furtive looks that you share. I think you misunderstood my intentions, so let me make it clear.”

  He gestured for Tore and Kachina to take a seat at the table. “It’s obvious from both your faces, that you feel the same way about each other. I don’t know how long this has been going on. I’m guessing it’s only recent for you Tore, though I’m pretty sure Kachina has felt this way for longer.”

  His daughter kept her eyes averted, telling him he wasn’t too far from the mark. “I’m glad you’ve found a way to move on from your tragedy. You’re still young. You have a long life ahead of you. But, I don’t want you using my daughter as a Band-Aid. Take a good look inside yourself. Kachina is too precious to have her heart broken.”