The Songbird and the Soldier

by Wendy Lou Jones

  Dean beamed, obviously pleased with himself. “Well don’t stand on ceremony, Sam, sit down.”

  Sam blinked and looked around for a seat. She went to sit down on the chair furthest from the bed.

  “No, you take this one, dear,” his father said, getting up from the chair on the far side of the room, next to Dean.

  Sam moved awkwardly round and sat down where she’d been put.

  His mum and dad nodded to each other and then smiled at Sam. “We’ll be back in a bit. You two have a nice chat now,” and then they were gone.

  So she was actually there, with Dean. Suddenly Sam could not think of a single thing to say.

  “You’re not afraid to be left alone with me, are you?” Dean asked, obviously amused at her discomfort. “I’m not exactly in a position to be a threat right now.” He indicated his bandaged leg.

  “How is it?” she asked.

  “Not so bad. It could have been worse.”

  Sam nodded thoughtfully. “What happened, or would you rather not-?”

  “No, it’s all right. We took fire while we were on patrol, that’s all. They must have been lying in the fields waiting for us. If the Prof’s team had been where they were meant to have been they would have spotted them, but there you go. At least I’ve still got ten fingers and ten toes. Smithy got it worse than me.” He paused and looked at the expression on Sam’s face. “Sorry. I forgot you and he…”

  “No. It’s fine.”

  “No. I shouldn’t have said anything. Forgive me.” He moved his position within the bed and his discomfort showed.

  “Is it hurting?” Sam asked.

  “No. Not really. I’ll be up and at ’em again soon. Got to get back out there, haven’t I? The lads’ll be missing me.”

  Sam was astounded. “What?”

  “Well, probably not this tour.”

  Dean tilted his head slightly and his eyes searched her face for a moment. “So what are you doing here then, Sam?” he said.

  Sam was speechless. What the Hell was she doing there? Ever since she’d heard about Dean’s return home she had been desperate to see him, but now she was actually there, what did she expect to happen? Her mouth moved in silence.

  “I’m sorry; that was rude. I’m glad you came, really.” He held out a hand and took hold of hers. It stayed there, caressing hers, and if Sam’s head had found thinking difficult before, it was definitely in trouble now.

  “I had to make sure you were all right,” she said at last, when the silence between them had stretched on long enough.

  “And am I?” he asked, gazing at her steadily.

  Sam felt uncomfortable. She nodded.

  Dean smiled. “Good. I’ve missed you, Sam.”

  Sam’s insides squeezed so tightly she could barely breathe. Then, as if coming to her rescue, a nurse from the ward chose that moment to come in. Dean broke away.

  “Corporal Fletcher, you’re looking a lot better. How are you feeling?”

  “Just dandy, thank you ma’am,” he said, turning on his usual charm.

  The nurse moved alongside him and wrapped a cuff around his arm. It started to inflate and Dean began to talk. The nurse popped a thermometer in his mouth and smiled at Sam. The machine whirred and made a series of beeps and clicks and the nurse wrote down her findings. She checked the leg below the bandage and enquired after his level of pain. “I think you’re up to putting some clothes on now, aren’t you, Corporal? Especially with a lady present.” She opened his cupboard and took out a neatly folded khaki T-shirt. She handed it to him and Dean put it on. “Much better,” she said, and with that she disappeared again as quickly as she had arrived.

  “There’s no slacking in here, is there?” Sam said.

  “No. You wouldn’t pass me that water over there, would you?” He pointed to the jug of water and glass on the table that had been wheeled out of the way when the nurse came in.

  Sam looked across the bed and, leaning over him, she picked up the water and glass and began to pour some for him. A muffled groan escaped him and Sam realised she was leaning her stomach against his bandaged leg. She pulled away instantly, mortified by what she had done. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. Are you all right? Should I get a doctor?”

  Dean tried his best to placate her. “I’m fine, honestly, Sam. Don’t make such a fuss. I’m okay, really.”

  How stupid could she have been? How thoughtless? She apologised profusely. Dean patted the bed beside him.

  “What? No. I’m not allowed to.”

  He gave her a determined look. “Sit.”

  Sam sat down, careful not to press on anything.

  Dean took both her hands in his. “I’m fine. Relax.” Sam took a deep breath and let it out. “Better?” he asked.

  Sam nodded. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

  “Sure,” he said. “But I can think of something that would make me feel better.” His eyes sparkled, daring her to ask.

  Sam didn’t take many seconds to understand his meaning, but decided to brazen it out. “I’m not sure you’re up to anything like that, soldier.”

  “I was only thinking of a cool flannel,” he said. “What were you thinking of?”

  Sam was mortified and blushed from head to toe.

  “Well I’m game if you are,” he said. “But we’d better be quick; my parents will be back any second.”

  Sam gasped in horror and tentatively thumped him on the arm.

  “No? Oh well, your decision.” He chuckled. “But I’ll take a kiss.” He pulled her to him, releasing her hands to rest against his chest and taking her head in his gentle grip. Sam’s brain was screaming out to break free, but her body was bending to another’s will and suddenly she was kissing him.

  As the burden of guilt caught up with her and the heat of the kiss intensified, Sam pulled away.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I had no right to kiss you like that. It’s just when I’m with you I fall under your spell and I just can’t help myself. You have my permission to wallop me if I try to do anything like that again. You will come and see me again, won’t you? It would really help me if you did.”

  Sam said she’d see if she could manage it, but she couldn’t promise anything and a moment later there was a knock on the door and Dean’s parents were back again.

  The four of them talked pleasantly for a couple of minutes, then they said their goodbyes and Sam and Dean’s parents walked together out of the ward.

  On the way down the stairs Mrs Fletcher asked Sam if she was staying in Birmingham for the night. They had been up for two days to make sure Dean was going to be okay and satisfied he’d live; they were going back home tonight. Outside, Sam pulled out her mobile and rang her mum, who agreed to fetch Humph and keep him until Sam got back, but she was not at all sure she was happy with the reason why. Uncomfortably, Sam ended the call and gave Dean’s mum the nod to call their hotel and check the availability for that night. Sam shared a taxi back to the hotel on the Hagley Road and said goodbye to Dean’s parents.

  “Thank you for today,” Sam said.

  “No, thank you. It’s a hard thing to have your own flesh and blood injured so far away from home. We can’t be with him every second of the day, more’s the pity. So it’s a real comfort to find out that there is someone else who cares so much about him. He’s really taken with you, you know. I’m so glad he’s got you. Watch out for him while we’re away, Sam.” His mum kissed her on the cheek and his dad smiled and said goodbye. “We’ll see you back home soon, yes?” Sam nodded and waved them away.

  In her room, Sam busied herself looking around, checking out the facilities. The bathroom was clean, if a little tired. The bed was dressed in neutral colours with just a splash of burgundy here and there. There was a tea tray on the desk, with a pair of cups and saucers on it and, to Sam’s delight, two tiny packets of shortbread biscuits. The full-length curtains at the back of the room were open and Sam walked over to have a look out at her view. The car park. Oh well, she thought
, she wasn’t exactly there for the scenery and at least it was quieter around the back than the front by the busy main road. She pulled the curtains closed and sat down on the bed.

  Sam felt like an onlooker watching at a distance, observing a young woman getting herself into something she was not prepared for. What was she doing in the middle of Birmingham, spending money that she could ill afford, to see a man that was once her boyfriend, but not anymore?

  Dean’s parents had been so happy she was with him, as they had assumed she was. They had been so kind and welcoming, had made her feel one of the family even. Dean himself had seemed more genuine than ever that day. Sure, he larked about and tried it on, but he seemed to have really been pleased to see her. What if he’d been telling the truth all along? It was hard to believe that Andy could be the predatory animal he was being painted as, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had been mistaken in her choice of men. She thought of her mum and dad and had to speak to them.

  Her mum answered the phone. “Sam, where are you. Are you okay?”

  “I’m in Birmingham, in a small hotel a couple of miles away from the hospital. Is Humphrey with you yet?”

  “Yes. He was a bit miffed at first, but your dad fed him a whole handful of those treats he likes and he’s almost forgiven us now.”

  “Oh, he could string that one on forever,” Sam said, chuckling at Humphrey’s manipulative behaviour.

  “So you didn’t really say before, what on earth are you doing in Birmingham?”

  Sam paused before answering. She knew how it was going to look. “I had to come and see Dean,” she said.

  Sam’s mum was silent.

  “He’s been shot, Mum. I couldn’t not go.”

  “And Andy? Is he shot too? I mean he is your boyfriend now, isn’t he?”

  “It’s complicated, Mum,” Sam said.

  “It sounds it.” There was an awkward pause again. “So when are you coming home?”

  “Tomorrow. I’m going to see Dean first and then get the next train back home.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing, love.”

  “It’ll be fine. We’re just friends. Look, I’ve got to go, Mum. I’m running short on credit. I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”

  Sam ended the call. Who was she kidding? If there was one thing she wasn’t it was ‘fine’. She had kissed him. It had not been a timid peck on the lips, but a long delicious dance with the devil. It was exciting and terrifying all at once and though racked with guilt, it left her wanting more. And Sam was under no illusion; more was definitely going to be on offer. It was going to be up to her to stop him, but when the time came, would she? Or even, should she?

  Chapter 10

  With all the sounds of the city outside and the weight of the doubt on her shoulders, Sam did not manage to get much sleep that night. She almost picked up the phone at one point to talk to Kate, but the voices inside her head whispered words of caution. Kate would tell her not to go back. She would tell her not to believe him and to run home as fast as she could. But Sam was drawn to him, by whatever force was controlling her now, so she pushed it to the back of her mind and locked it away. For now, this was what she had to do.

  Sam was free for the morning, so she took a cab into town and wandered around, making the most of being in a big city. As she walked among the crowd, Sam’s phone began to bleep. She checked and found a text from Kate. Where r u? Sam put the phone back in her pocket. A couple of minutes later it went again. Call me. Sam hesitated. Her fingers hovered over the buttons to call, but she fought the urge and put it back in her pocket. Again it beeped. Don’t u dare do anything stupid. Sam turned her phone off and found a gigantic HMV to take her mind off things.

  After finding a Burger King, Sam wandered back up to the station and took a train to the University stop and asked some students for directions. She walked past the medical school and down a long hill to the hospital at the bottom. She stopped and looked at it. The day before it had seemed immense, but now, a little more at ease, she could regard it with an appreciative eye. It was beautiful really, as modern buildings go. Maybe in a few years it wouldn’t look so good, but new as it apparently was, it was shiny and clean and looked spectacular with its sweeping arc, like a wave of silver down one side.

  Outside the ward, Sam checked her watch and drummed her fingers impatiently. Three minutes to go, she thought. She walked over to the window and looked out. Someone else arrived behind her and she smiled politely. They pressed the buzzer and were let in. Sam walked over and announced her arrival and the door was opened for her too.

  There was laughter coming from Dean’s room as Sam approached along the corridor. She knocked and poked her head around the door. Dean beckoned her in and the other soldier noticed her and wheeled himself out, greeting her politely as he passed.

  Dean looked a whole lot brighter than the day before. His hair was groomed and he was dressed now in shorts and a t-shirt. He was lying on top of his covers when Sam arrived. “You’re looking better,” she said as she walked inside the room.

  “Hello Sweetheart, what a treat to see you again. I was hoping you’d come back. You didn’t travel all the way back up here again today, did you?”

  Sam smiled. “No. I spent the night at the hotel your parents were staying in.”

  “Just to see me?” he asked, a big grin on his face.

  Sam rolled her eyes. “Well they do have a very good HMV here.” He looked gorgeous, but suddenly Sam panicked. She felt the colour drain from her face and thought she was about to be sick.

  “Are you all right?” he asked. “You look as if you’re going to faint, or something. You’re not squeamish, are you? The smell in these places can get you like that.”

  Sam sat down on a chair. “No. It’s not that.”

  “Then what?” He paused. “You’re not up the duff, are you?”

  Sam was shocked. “No!”

  Dean’s eyebrows rose. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes,” she said firmly.

  “Good. The last thing we need is another little Garrington running around messing everything up.”

  Sam looked at him.

  “I’m sorry, Sam, but you have to be able to do better than him. I mean, he’s already screwed up one marriage. If you can only get a woman by stealing someone else’s then it’s a bit crap, you’ve got to admit?”

  Sam felt uneasy. “Whereas you tend to have them lined up, forming an orderly queue, waiting for you.”

  “Well they can wait all they like; only one woman is here with me.” He was looking straight at her, a serious expression now set on his face.

  Sam blushed.

  “I don’t care how he tricked you into believing I didn’t want to write, Sam. It’s not important. All that matters now is that you’re here again, with me. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you to hold on to.”

  Sam found it increasingly hard to hold his gaze. “How’s your leg doing?” she asked.

  “It’s a bit sore where you leant against it yesterday, but…” Dean rolled up laughing as the expression on Sam’s face fell. “It’s fine, Sam. I’m only kidding. Honestly.”

  Sam got up from where she was sitting and marched over and thumped him.

  “Ow!”

  “That’s not funny. You deserved that,” she said.

  Dean laughed. “They’re moving me out onto a four-bedded bay sometime this afternoon, so I’ll soon have witnesses to all this abuse.”

  “You won’t get the chance; I’m back off home after I leave here today.”

  Dean stilled. “Well then I’d better make the most of you, hadn’t I?” He pulled her slowly toward him and stopped only millimetres away. “This is the point when you are supposed to stop me, Sam.” But Sam did not say a word, only leaned in the last little bit and kissed Dean delicately on the lips. But Dean was not in the mood for delicate and he pulled her firmly up against his good side and held her there in an ardent kiss for several more minutes.
Dean’s hand slipped down toward Sam’s breast and she pulled away.

  “What’s wrong? I thought… You seemed…” Dean shook his head. “Tell me what you want, Sam. I’m no good at playing games. You travelled all this way up to see me and… you didn’t tell me to stop.”

  Sam was a mess. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

  “I wonder how many other hearts you’ve broken along the way with that kiss?”

  Sam looked at him. Other broken hearts? Had she broken his heart? Sam was shocked.

  “What? Did you really think I cared so little?” He shook his head. “You’re one in a million, Sam, and you don’t even know it.”

  A nurse knocked and walked in. “I’m very sorry, but I’m going to have to cut visiting time slightly short today. We’ve got some men arriving soon who are going to require our full attention. We’re going to have to shuffle round a few rooms. I’m sure you understand.” She smiled apologetically and a moment later Sam heard the same two knocks on another door and the sound of sirens in the distance. She looked at Dean. He shrugged.

  “I’d better be off then,” she said and picked up her bag from the floor beside her chair. Dean looked sad as she went to leave. Sam held his hand and squeezed it. “I’ll see you soon, soldier,” she said and walked out of the ward and back up to the station on the hill, with a convoy of three ambulances passing her on the way.

  The train journey back home was a moment of calm for Sam. The steady rhythm of endless miles of scenery floating past let her empty her mind of all her troubles and forget about things for a while.

  Back home she was faced with a decision: collect Humphrey and face her mum, or stay by herself again and put off the evil hour until the morning. Sam had no wish to talk.

  On the doormat lay a letter from Andy. She reached for the emotion she usually felt when a long blue envelope arrived on her mat, but all she felt was guilt. Sam unpacked her bag and made herself a cup of tea and some toast with Marmite and took the letter into the living room to sit down. Then, tentatively, almost afraid of the words it might convey, Sam opened the letter.