Redeeming Rafe

by Sloane Kennedy

  “He’s been doing it off and on for a long time but he finally quit for good earlier this year,” Dom answered.

  As the stethoscope traveled to his back, he sensed the doctor pause. He hoped to God the man didn’t ask about the scars because he didn’t really want Dom to see them. Luckily the doctor continued his examination and then drew his shirt back down.

  A disturbing thought went through Rafe and he asked Dom, “Were you and he ever…”

  “No,” Dom said quickly as he shook his head. “Just friends.”

  Rafe nodded, thankful there wouldn’t be yet another reason for weirdness between them.

  The doctor interrupted with several questions as he finished up his exam. Rafe wasn’t thrilled to hear he’d need stitches for a gash on his cheek but at least they’d be done with the benefit of numbing drugs instead of liquor this time. Tears threatened again as he remembered the stitches Cade had done on his arm – the ones after the first time he’d saved his life.

  “What if he doesn’t make it, Dom?” he heard himself asking.

  “He will,” Dom said firmly, his tone brokering no argument.

  Dom stayed with him while the stitches were put in and just as the doctor finished up, another doctor entered the room, Vin right behind him. Rafe jumped off the bed when he recognized the stern looking man as the one who’d told him Cade would need surgery.

  “How is he?” Rafe asked before the doctor could even introduce himself.

  “He’s stable,” the doctor responded and the rush of relief that went through him was so powerful that his knees actually buckled and Dom’s bracing arm was the only thing that kept him upright.

  “He made it through surgery and they’re taking him to the ICU now. He broke his leg in two places and he’s got a couple of cracked ribs but obviously the head injury is our biggest concern.”

  “Can I see him?” he whispered.

  The doctor nodded. “I’ll have a nurse take you up once they have him settled.”

  It was Vin who asked the question Rafe couldn’t manage to get past his lips. “What are his chances?”

  The fact that the doctor hedged brought all of Rafe’s worries back to the forefront.

  “We won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes up. Hopefully that will happen in the next twenty-four hours,” the doctor explained.

  But Rafe stopped listening at that point because he could only hear what the doctor wasn’t saying – that Cade might not wake up at all. He felt himself being dragged against Dom’s chest once more and he didn’t even bother to try and stem the tears that fell and soaked quickly through his brother’s shirt.

  ***

  The week that followed was the worst in Rafe’s entire life. The brutality he’d suffered as a child didn’t even come close to the torment of watching Cade fight for his life. He hadn’t woken up as doctors had hoped and another seizure had the ICU doctors putting him into a medically induced coma. Seeing Cade’s lifeless body surrounded by tubes and machines had wiped out all the courage Rafe had managed to muster up before entering the ICU and it was only Dom and Vin who’d managed to keep him on his feet long enough until they found a chair for him that they placed next to Cade’s bed. Touching Cade’s warm hand had helped but as day after day passed with no change, Rafe grew more and more despondent. But he’d staunchly refused to leave Cade’s side even to sleep and he’d shoved away any food that was brought to him.

  By the third day it had been Vin who’d physically dragged him out of the room and ranted at him for not taking care of himself and only the reminder that Cade would be pissed to see what he was doing to himself had convinced Rafe to go home with Vin long enough to shower and eat. He’d ended up falling asleep on the short ride to Vin’s house and hadn’t even fully woken up when Vin somehow managed to get him into the bed in his guestroom. When he’d awoken, he’d been frantic with worry but Vin had sworn that there’d been no change and that Dom and Logan would stay with Cade until he got back.

  He’d spent nearly all his time at Cade’s side talking to him about inconsequential things and the few times he’d been left completely alone with Cade, he flat out begged and pleaded with Cade not to leave him. His brothers and their loved ones had taken shifts staying with him and most passed the time telling him stories about how they’d come to know Cade. At first it had hurt because he was too raw to deal with the emotion of it but as the days passed, the stories soon became like a lifeline for him. And the sheer number of people who cared about Cade and viewed him as an equal member of their dynamic family unit had him realizing how much he’d been missing out on for not even considering trying to reestablish a connection with his brothers.

  And his brothers…

  They’d done exactly what Cade had said they would and welcomed him with open arms. And as they stayed by his side day after day and literally picked him up when he was too weak to go on, the image of watching them standing helplessly by as Gary pulled him to his waiting car began to fade.

  By day seven the doctors began the process of bringing Cade out of the coma and yet another waiting game started. He didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep until a hand closed over his shoulder and gently shook him. He snapped into a sitting position and whipped his head around to see if some miracle had occurred and deep green eyes were staring at him but nothing had changed.

  He turned back to see who it was that had woken him and saw Cade’s friend Jax smiling down at him.

  “Hey, I can sit with him if you want to stretch your legs for a bit,” the big man offered.

  Rafe shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m okay, thanks.”

  Jax pulled up another chair and sat next to him. He didn’t know much about the former FBI agent turned country cop who’d shown up the day after Cade’s surgery. But like the rest of the people who loved Cade, he’d kept a nearly twenty-four hour vigil.

  “How you holding up?” Jax asked.

  What could he say? That a little piece of him died as every hour passed and Cade slipped further away from him? So he just shook his head and remained silent.

  “I’m glad he found you, Rafe.”

  Rafe dropped his head and laughed harshly. “He’s here because of me. Every time he gave, I took. Every time I was weak, he was strong. He was willing to give up the only family’s he’s ever had to be with me and what did I do? I ran. I lied to his face and I ran. And even then he was still willing to risk his life to save mine.”

  “Why’d you run? I’ve known Cade a long time and if he chose you it was because he wanted you more than anything else.”

  “I was afraid…” Rafe admitted.

  “Afraid of what?” Jax asked gently.

  “That I wouldn’t be enough for him. That he’d resent me some day.” Rafe looked down at his hands as he clenched them together. “I spent so many years not tying myself to anything because I didn’t want to risk losing it. No house, no friends, no future. I could survive losing him while he still loved me but to have to watch what he felt for me turn into something ugly…I wouldn’t have been able to put myself back together after that.”

  Rafe lifted his eyes to look at Jax. “I need another chance to show him I can put him first for a change.”

  “Hey asshole,” Jax said and Rafe’s mouth opened in shock. It was then that he realized Jax wasn’t looking at him when he spoke.

  He turned and clamped his hand over his mouth to catch the sob that threatened to escape when he saw Cade watching him.

  “Fuck off,” Cade managed to rasp out with a faint smile, but his eyes stayed on Rafe and when Rafe closed his fingers over Cade’s hand, Cade managed to squeeze it back.

  “I’ll get someone,” he heard Jax say behind him.

  Rafe couldn’t stop the harsh cries that overtook him and he leaned down to carefully place his head on Cade’s chest, mindful of the wires and tubes that still protruded from the man’s battered body. He was too overcome to speak but he knew he didn’t have to
when Cade’s hand gently came to rest on his head. There’d be plenty of time for words later.

  Epilogue

  Cade leaned back against the supple leather seat as the sun warmed him. The motion of the car was soothing as Rafe carefully maneuvered in and out of traffic along the busy streets of Anacortes. He could tell Rafe was nervous by the endless drumming of his thumbs on the steering wheel but he couldn’t blame him since this afternoon was a pretty big deal for him. It would be the first time he experienced the entire extended family in a social setting since the disastrous night he’d shown up at Barretti’s during Shane and Savannah’s engagement party. Although everyone had been at Rafe’s side during the three weeks Cade had spent in the hospital, it hadn’t exactly been a great “get to know you” time.

  “It’s going to be fine,” Cade murmured as he reached out to put his hand on Rafe’s thigh.

  “I know,” Rafe said quickly – too quickly.

  “I guarantee that all eyes are going to be on that kid,” Cade said. Logan’s best friend Gabe and his wife had welcomed a daughter into the world two weeks earlier and Dom and Logan were throwing a party for the new parents at their house on the island.

  “I didn’t exactly make the best impression last time everyone got together for a celebration,” Rafe reminded him.

  “Believe me, our family doesn’t give a shit about impressions,” Cade said.

  Rafe smiled and Cade was glad he didn’t argue his use of the word “our” when he mentioned family. Rafe had been making slow but steady progress with Dom and Vin over the past month and had even started doing some consulting for a few of BSG’s clients at Dom and Vin’s request. But Rafe’s true passion lay with Logan’s foundation and he spent most days there or at the first satellite location that had opened earlier in the month.

  “How are you doing?” Rafe asked as he glanced at Cade with concern. “Your leg bothering you?”

  Cade shook his head. The cast had finally come off earlier in the week which he was supremely grateful for since it made it much easier to move around and also because it meant he could finally fuck Rafe in any position he wanted to. Not that he didn’t mind Rafe riding him but having the man screaming and writhing beneath him as he bent him over the bed and pounded into him was something he’d been dreaming of since the doctor had finally given them the okay to resume sex. Not to mention it was incredibly awkward for Rafe to ream his ass when there was a cast that stretched from his ankle to his thigh to deal with.

  It frustrated Cade that he remembered nothing of the day Benton had tried to run Rafe down. He’d gotten the nitty gritty details from Jagger – the ones Rafe had been reluctant to share in detail not only because he still harbored a ridiculous amount of guilt for the incident, but because it was hard for him to even talk about seeing Cade after the car had struck them. The aftermath of waiting to see if and when Cade would wake up had also been difficult on Rafe and he’d been glad as hell to hear that Dom and Vin had been there to take care of him.

  The physical toll Cade’s condition had taken on Rafe had been disturbing to see in the days after he’d woken up but it was the emotional aspect that his lover was still coming to terms with. In the early days after he’d been released from the hospital, Rafe’s hovering had been hard to deal with because no amount of words could convince Rafe that he was okay. The man didn’t even sleep through the night because he was waking himself up every hour to make sure Cade was still breathing. Thankfully Rafe’s worries had eased some and they’d manage a degree of normalcy once Cade finished his rehab and started going back to work and Rafe volunteered at the foundation. Rafe’s panic attacks had dwindled considerably and he was usually able to bring himself down before they spiraled out of control.

  One area Rafe hadn’t held back in was telling Cade how much he loved him and how often. It was something he would never tire of hearing and Rafe backed it up with the way he made love to Cade night after night. There were still the rough displays of dominance that Cade loved but there was everything in between from urgency to sweet to achingly slow and long.

  The car rolled to a stop as Rafe parked in line at the ferry terminal. Cade could see the big boat docking so he knew they had a little bit of a wait until they boarded.

  “Come here,” he whispered as he closed his hand around Rafe’s neck and dragged him against his body and sealed their mouths together. Their kiss quickly turned too heated for a public area so Cade forced himself to release Rafe. But Rafe himself didn’t seem to be ready to break off all contact because he ran his fingers through Cade’s hair – his still short hair. Rafe’s eyes darkened when he encountered the scar that ran across Cade’s scalp but he seemed to shake it off and his eyes warmed over again.

  “Do you think you’d want to marry me someday?” Rafe suddenly asked and Cade sucked in a sharp breath. When he realized Rafe was completely serious he felt a wide smile spread cross his lips.

  “Name the day,” Cade said.

  Rafe laughed and then quieted as he continued to stroke Cade’s hair. “Would you take my name?” he asked.

  Cade knew Rafe had a list of former aliases a mile wide so he grinned and said, “Which one?”

  “I was thinking Barretti has a nice ring to it,” Rafe answered.

  “I like the sound of that,” Cade said.

  “Me too,” Rafe whispered just before he kissed him.

  It was long overdue but Rafe Barretti had finally come home.

  Thank you for reading Redeeming Rafe!

  Dear Reader,

  I hope you enjoyed Cade and Rafe’s story. I’ve decided to do things a bit differently with the Barretti series so if you want to read Vin and Mia’s story, it will be available soon on my website for free. For those of you who remember Jax from Finding Trust, he’ll be back in the third installment of the Finding series which will focus on Gray and Luke (M/M).

  As a new author, I am always grateful for feedback so if you have the time and desire, please leave a review, good or bad, so I can continue to find out what my readers’ like and don’t like. You can also send me feedback via email at sloane@sloanekennedy.com

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  ***Other Available Titles by Sloane Kennedy***

  Finding Home (Book 1, Finding Series) (M/M/M)

  Vengeance. It's the one thing on ex-cop Rhys Tellar's mind and he's spent every day of his two year prison sentence planning how he'll bring down the former lover and partner who sold him out and cost four people their lives. A six month parole stint working at the CB Bar Ranch in Southwestern Montana should be the easiest thing he's ever done. But the last thing he expects is to feel something for both the charismatic ranch hand who befriends him and the enigmatic foreman who's pretending to be something he's not.

  A future. That's what Finn Stewart wants, but to have it he must leave behind the man he wants above all others, his very straight boss and best friend, Callan Bale. As the only openly gay man in a small, homophobic community, Finn has to fight every day to be who he is and walking away is starting to seem like the easier path. Until Rhys Tellar shows up and changes everything.

  A Lie. Callan Bale's entire life has been about hiding the man he really is and it's about to cost him the one person who's managed to worm his way past the walls he's spent years putting up. But choosing Finn would mean giving up everything he's worked for and breaking the promises he's made. At least losing the younger man to Rhys means Finn can have the life he deserves.

  Three men. Three choices. One chance at finding home.

  Finding Trust (Book 2, Finding Series) (M/M)

  He wanted a new beginning. What he got was a glimpse of a life he could never have...

  Widower Dane Winters just wanted
a new beginning for himself and his six month old daughter after his estranged husband's cold-blooded murder and moving to a small town in Southwest Montana seemed like a good place to start. But he never expected a favor for a friend to turn into a deadly encounter that puts him on a collision course with a mysterious stranger passing through town.

  Former FBI agent Jaxon Reid stopped in Dare, Montana to right a wrong, not get caught up in the life of an uptight, country vet with a holier-than-thou attitude. But he soon finds himself drawn to the quiet, insecure single father who's trying to leave behind a life of pain and heartbreak.

  Dane can't deny his attraction to Jax, but he knows that pursuing a relationship with the gorgeous, younger man will only end in heartbreak and turn him into someone he swore he would never be again. But when danger looms, he's forced to accept Jax into his life and home, along with the emotional vulnerability that being around Jax brings to the surface.

  As their connection deepens, can Dane find the trust Jax needs from him in order to build a life together or will he let his past destroy his one chance at a real future?

  Gabriel’s Rule (Book 1, The Escort Series) (M/F)

  After nearly ten years of moonlighting as a professional escort, Gabriel Maddox is good at giving women the forbidden pleasures they crave. They don’t need to know that something inside of him dies a little each time he does it or that his desperate need for cash is the only reason he can’t walk away. They just need to know that to get what they want, they have to play by his rules.

  Riley Sinclair is starting over. She’s left dry, dusty Texas and her ultra conservative, fanatically religious parents and cheating, mean-spirited fiancé behind for a new life in Seattle. But one look at her stunningly gorgeous new neighbor Gabe brings back all the insecurities she’s trying to escape.