Let Me Be Your Last (Music and Letters Series Book 4)

by Lynsey M. Stewart

  ‘Do I call you Daddy?’ he asked tentatively. My heart expanded and contracted causing an ache I knew I would need to get used to.

  ‘Theo, I’m not taking over as your daddy.’ He sighed and studied the pictures on the paper. ‘You have your daddy and he loves you so much.’ I pulled his chair closer to me and he laughed as I did, finally settling my arm across his shoulders. ‘But I promise you I will love you as much as any daddy can. I will look after you, make sure you’re safe and protected; I’ll teach you everything I know about football, which isn’t much,’ I shrugged. ‘I’ll sit with you if you can’t sleep at night. We’ll do maths homework together.’

  ‘Will you do it for me?’ he asked hopefully.

  ‘No. I’ll help you, and if you need advice about anything, come to me and your mummy. And your daddy.’ He rolled his eyes and I nudged his shoulder with my elbow. ‘I think we’ll make a good team; what about you?’ Theo threw his arms around me and I squeezed him, knowing that he may not have entered my life in a conventional way, the word daddy never a name he would call me, but I would love and fight for him like he was my own.

  I felt more arms around us and as I pulled back, I found Gem, tears in her eyes and the lip bite I loved so much tugging at her mouth. ‘What are you guys talking about?’

  ‘You know, important stuff,’ I replied. Theo laughed as he ran off the join Brandon, who was being twirled around by Abi and Elle.

  I stood and threaded my fingers through her hair, kissing her like I’d lost and found her again. ‘I love you,’ she said, nudging her nose against mine, sending sparks through me, and a promise for what was to come for the rest of our lives.

  ‘I love you too.’

  And fuck, I did.

  This woman, strong, true, and collectively astounding, belonged to me.

  ‘Come on,’ she said, pulling me to the dance floor. ‘There’s a leg guitar with your name on it.’

  Epilogue

  Gem

  6 months later

  ‘I never thought I’d see the fucking day,’ Abi said, pushing her sunglasses up her nose. It was a freezing February morning, not a beam of sun in the sky, but this was Abi we were talking about.

  ‘What? Danny wearing shin pads?’ Kate replied as Abi chuckled.

  ‘Yes, but I was mainly referring to Gem’s ex-husband and husband-to-be playing football together.’

  Josh had asked me to marry him the day he showed me the new house for the first time. House was a strong word; it was better described as a half-collapsed cattle shed with something that resembled a nuclear bunker in the garden. Bales of hay were still sitting at the end of the building, but still it had character. He’d laid out a picnic blanket on top of one and got down on one knee as I contemplated the sheer magnitude of the project. As soon as his knee hit the rubble and he asked to marry me and my boys, doubt slipped away and I was planning the layout with the help of a piece of chalk and a tape measure.

  ‘How the hell did that happen? I thought they would quite happily pull each other’s balls off,’ Abi said, acting out a pull and twist motion with her hands.

  ‘It was jealousy. Theo talked endlessly about football and the man inspiring him.’ I looked across at Josh and the flicker of heat inside me started to burn. After a year together, it hadn’t fizzled out; the spark was white hot and dancing. ‘Josh invited Jay every week. He knew how much it meant to Theo. Then, out of the blue, Jay came to watch. Josh included him as much as he could, and one Saturday, Jay came dressed in sports gear ready to help out.’

  ‘Fuck me.’

  Jay had changed hugely since Josh returned to my life; maybe it was the prospect of a new life entering his. He’d made a new commitment to the boys and they started to stay with him every Thursday night and every other weekend. This worked for the boys and both Jay and I, and they’d never been happier. Indirectly, Josh had led Jay to become a better dad.

  Saturday football was even more popular now. I still liked to think it was Josh who drew the crowds, but today it might have something more to do with three extra helpers to the field.

  ‘Question. Can you orgasm from watching a forearm flex?’ Abi asked, now on her knees and squinting to get a better view of Jamie from across the field.

  ‘I’m pretty sure I just did,’ Kate replied, her cheeks flushing as Danny threw a football into the air while Josh talked to the kids.

  ‘I’m all for this every week. I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan of the early start,’ Abi said.

  ‘Not a fan? Didn’t you say something about cock blocking our honeymoon?’ I laughed.

  ‘It’s majorly interfered with our routine of morning sex,’ she replied. ‘But something has helped change my mood.’ Abi looked across at Jamie, stuck two fingers in her mouth and produced a deafening whistle. ‘Thanks for the tip, Gem. Grey joggers for the win.’

  ‘Danny refused to wear them. He informed me this morning he doesn’t do sportswear. Can’t contain the junk. But his arse looks great in those shorts, so I’m willing to let it go,’ Kate replied, waving to Danny as he ran past.

  ‘Ben has the same issue,’ Elle said. ‘Grey joggers only inflate the problem.’

  ‘Do we have to? I’m only interested in Josh’s…freedom. Thanks very much.’

  ‘Uniform; definitely make it uniform,’ Elle said, smiling as Ben ran across the pitch. ‘And let’s get them to run in slow motion, Baywatch style.’

  ‘The other day, Josh asked me to buy him some pyjamas. He needed them for a charity wear your pyjamas to school day. Honestly, we had to strap it down. Three pairs of boxers couldn’t contain it. I mean, it was dick print all the way,’ I said, tongue firmly in cheek as Elle rolled her eyes.

  ‘You should be so lucky,’ she laughed. ‘It’s big, but, bloody hell, three pairs of boxers?’

  ‘I’m bringing binoculars next week. Talk about schlong city,’ Abi replied, removing her glasses to arch her eyebrow.

  ‘Keep your eyes on your own schlong,’ I said, trying to dull the ache between my legs. Josh’s cock was becoming an obsession. ‘His is perfect. When we did the plans for the house, I almost added a room dedicated solely to a cock shrine.’

  ‘We converted the box room exactly for that purpose,’ Abi said, completely straight-faced.

  ‘We’re adding an extension for a cock shrine,’ Elle replied.

  ‘You should be planning a nursery, not a cock shrine,’ I said.

  ‘Can’t have a nursery without a cock shrine.’

  ‘Any news?’ Elle and Ben had started trying for a baby on their honeymoon. Every month when her period came, we had a tearful group chat. I was starting to track her bloody cycle on a fertility app.

  ‘No. Still not pregnant. God knows how; we’re at it all the time. I can’t wash the pots without feeling a cock between my arse cheeks.’

  ‘I’m an expert on these things, Elle and I’m pretty sure if Ben’s slipping his hard-on into your arse, you’re never going to get pregnant.’ Elle threw orange peel at Abi’s head as we prepared the halftime snack.

  ‘It’ll happen. You just need to relax,’ I said.

  ‘How much more relaxed can I be?’ she replied, obliterating an orange as she took out her frustration.

  ‘Are you lying upside down when you’re done? I’ve heard that helps,’ Kate said, taking the knife from her before she lost a finger.

  ‘I’ve resorted to standing on my head. Ben brings my headphones and I listen to whales mating to help the energy.’

  We all stared at her in disbelief, our eyes searching each other in the hope that someone could find something to say that wouldn’t lead to an emotional breakdown.

  ‘It’s a joke. Bloody hell,’ she replied as we all took a collective sigh of relief. ‘Enough about my barren womb. How’s the job going?’

  ‘Great. Fantastic. Amazing.’ I couldn’t hide my smile. I had started working at one of my favourite clothing stores in Nottingham just after Elle’s wedding. I quickly fell into loving it, and a
few weeks ago, the manager announced she was going on maternity leave; I was offered her role until she returned. Josh stays at home with the kids during school holidays and my hours work around their school day. ‘I’ve found something I love to do and I’m happy in my personal life. Life is good.’

  ‘Gem, I’m going to leave the boys to it for the last fifteen,’ Josh said as he checked his watch. ‘I’m going to take a shower, OK.’

  ‘Yeah, no problem,’ I replied, taking his hand as he pulled me up.

  ‘I mean a shower.’ He stared at me and when I gave him a confused look he started nodding his head towards the community centre.

  ‘OK, I think,’ I said, eyeing him warily.

  ‘Shower,’ he replied, saying the word slowly and clearly. Thoughts of him on his knees in front of me, water dripping down his chest, his cock in his hand, the look of admiration as I slipped my hands into my jeans made his intentions finally click into place.

  ‘He might need help,’ I muttered as he pulled me with him. ‘Back’s are tricky to reach.’

  ‘Have fun!’ Elle shouted.

  ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!’ Abi laughed.

  ‘That gives us a lot of scope,’ Josh replied, stopping to pick me up and carry me to the community centre like he had on our first date. I thought about how far we had come since the vending machine picnic. The doubts of trusting another man, the concerns about telling Jay, and introducing Josh to Theo and Brandon. Back then, they all seemed like mountains impossible to climb. How easy would life be if we could predict the future, or sneak peeks through a crystal ball just to calm the nerves occasionally.

  He took me through to the changing rooms, locking the door as he did.

  I traced my hands across his face, skimming his lips, kissing them softly.

  ‘You won’t be needing these,’ I said as I tugged down his jogging bottoms, releasing his hard cock, watching it pop against his stomach. He hissed out a breath as I wrapped him in my hand, slowly dragging my fist to the tip.

  ‘I can’t wait to make you my wife,’ he said, throwing his head back as I circled and squeezed.

  I didn’t know love like his existed before Josh. Intoxicating. Powerful. Safe. I was totally secure in the knowledge that he adored my children and me.

  And I adored him.

  My lifeline. My truth.

  My last.

  Acknowledgments

  To Abbie at Duckman Proofreading: Thank you for squeezing this one in!

  To Taylor Sullivan: Your patience astounds me. Thank you for another lovely cover.

  To Ann Walker: Your support through the beta stages is valued more than you will ever know. Thank you for making this a book I can be proud of and for believing in Gem’s story.

  To Karin Enders: Thanks for everything. How about a co-write? I have a great idea. What do you think about an Irish social worker?

  To Julia Heudorf: You were hard on me, but your suggestions have made Gem’s story so much stronger. Thank you.

  To Megan Damrow and Jennifer Jaeger: Chief Cockateers! Thank you for everything.

  To the amazing book community: All the bloggers, reviewers, Bookstagrammars, Cockateers and finally, the readers. Your support continues to blow me away.

  About the Author

  Lynsey M. Stewart enjoys writing stories about characters that experience a few bumps in the road before finding their happily ever after (also known as contemporary romance with plenty of heat…) She lives with her husband, her soulmate and muse, along with their gorgeous, precious, ridiculously independent little girl. Lynsey began writing after being inspired by great books, amazing writers and wonderful stories that she couldn’t stop thinking about long after reading the last word. If she’s not writing, you can usually find her with her head in a book or singing along to music. She’s hopeless, but she enjoys pretending to be Adele every once in a while.

  Find Lynsey on:

  Email: authorlynseymstewart@outlook.com

  www.lynseymstewart.com

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  Other books in the Music and Letters Series

  Let Me Be Your First: The Music and Letters Series: Book 1

  Elle Davis is a hopeless romantic, an epic daydreamer, and best friend to party girl Abi. Oh, and she’s also a twenty-three-year-old virgin. She has always dreamed of love at first sight and the fairy-tale ending; however, as the burden of her virginity increases, so does her sexual curiosity…

  In her mission to find Mr Right, Elle inevitably stumbles across Mr Wrong. Following a chance encounter with a colleague, she decides to take the first steps…

  Luke Simms is funny, sexy and cocksure with as much baggage as the lost luggage department at Heathrow airport. He doesn’t do commitment, but he does offer Elle the experience she craves.

  Ben Newman is romantic, witty and drop-dead gorgeous. He is also chasing the fairy tale. But after a string of dating disasters, he’s ready to give up on the dream and end the search.

  Find out if Elle saves Luke Simms from his mission of self-destruct, or if she ends Ben Newman’s search for his fairy tale…

  Let Me Be Your Hope: The Music and Letters Series: Book 2

  Abi Sinclair is a determined social worker and committed party girl. She’s independent, ballsy and living the single girls’ dream. But underneath the bravado and empty one-night stands, she’s hiding a broken heart…

  Jamie Dawson is Abi’s lost love, the only man who ever made her feel alive. When he left Nottingham two years ago to take care of his terminally ill mother, they agreed to communicate only by letter, both believing their love was meant to be.

  One regrettable lie forced them down very different paths.

  One rash decision forced them apart.

  But Jamie is back. And he’s Abi’s new manager. Only he’s a different man—too different.

  Desperate for answers, Abi won’t stop until she uncovers the truth behind Jamie’s two-year absence…

  Let Me Be Your Truth: The Music and Letters Series: Book 3

  From the outside, Kate Roper has life all figured out—a career as social worker, friends who love her, and a perfectly sensible relationship with a loyal but boring man. She has her life sorted neatly into boxes…until she meets Danny, a tortured artist with a troubled past. They say opposites attract, and Danny’s sexual confidence intrigues Kate. His tattoos enthrall her. He is everything she doesn’t think she needs, yet she craves what he has to offer.

  Art therapy sessions at a local therapy centre have saved Danny from his tormented past. But when Kate shows up with her positivity, paint brushes and flirty skirts, Danny can’t seem to escape the grim reminders she triggers of when he needed help the most and was left to bury the past under his addictions.

  Danny doesn’t do romance. He does sex. Amazing sex. He can teach Kate the art of orgasms so that his Miss Goody Two Shoes learns the difference between monotonous and mind-blowing…

  As their relationship intensifies, their pasts collide. They soon find that they have more in common than they ever would have thought, but can Kate and Danny find their truths in the unlikeliest of relationships?

  You can find more info on my other books here

 

 

 
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