HIS OBSESSION-To Load

by Beck, J. L.

  And it actually hurt.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I demanded.

  “I’m sick of this! I’m tired of giving you everything while you give me nothing. I love you so much that it makes me sick sometimes and all I ever hear is that you are still in love with Mia. Even when you don’t say it I can see it in your actions and hear it in your voice. I can practically hear your thoughts.”

  “I have to go,” I said. “I’m not going through all this again.”

  “You are a bastard,” Sofia said. “And you’d just better hope that you stay on my good side or else you may very well be going to jail.”

  I stopped right then. I froze completely as my mind came to a radical conclusion. What the hell was she saying? “What?” I asked.

  Sofia didn’t say anything. I could see it in her face that she’d said something she sure as hell did not mean to. “I—I…” Sofia stammered.

  “What the hell did you do?” I asked spitting my words in anger.

  Sofia’s shy routine suddenly came to an end and she was the same old cocky asshole.

  “I did what I had to do,” Sofia said. “Now Mia will hate you forever.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. No… no… Sofia wouldn’t do…that? Would she? “Are you out of your mind?” I shouted.

  “Relax, they can’t prove you have anything to do with it, which you didn’t. I covered my tracks carefully. If anyone gets nailed it will be Rudy Miller. You know how he’s always had a thing for me? Well, I just kind of half promised him a blowjob if he’d cut the brakes on Tony’s car and he actually believed me. Rudy was a bit disappointed…” Sofia giggled.

  She’d just taken on a whole other shade of crazy in my eyes. Sofia was a damn sociopath. What the hell was wrong with her?

  “This is crazy,” I said. “You put a guy’s life in danger just to trash my image in Mia’s eyes?”

  “I think it is working like a charm. Hell, the whole town will hate you before it’s over. Which is fine with me. That way we can just start over.”

  “What if this idiot Rudy talks? Did you ever think of that?” I knew Rudy Miller. I couldn’t think of one person in the entire town that I knew who would lose a battle of wits to that guy. I was a dead man.

  “Relax,” Sofia said. “If Rudy says anything he will go to jail. He’s dumb, but not that dumb. Besides who would believe him anyway?”

  “That’s not the point,” I said. But honestly, I wasn’t sure what point I was even trying to make anymore. It wouldn’t have mattered to Sofia. She was insane.

  “I can see you’re tense,” Sofia said. She lifted her skirt to reveal that as usual she wasn’t wearing any panties. Her sweet, pink vessel of sex was eyeing staring right back at me.

  But not even I was that horny.

  “Let me make you feel better,” Sofia purred.

  I picked up my bag and slung my jacket over my shoulder.

  “You stay the hell away from me,” I said. “And you stay away from Mia. If you don’t, if I find out you have done anything to hurt either one of us I will drag you down with me. You think you’re smart Sofia, but you aren’t that smart.”

  I walked out of her house ignoring her cries and yelling complaints which I could hear until I hopped in my car and slammed the door.

  My head was spinning. Sofia actually tried to kill Tony. And there was a very good possibility that I’d be blamed for it. I was the only one who had a motive. Hell the guy was brand new in town and didn’t know anyone. Even if the police couldn’t tie me to it through evidence, everyone in town was always going to remember me for it.

  And especially Mia.

  Dammit. Sofia’s little plan, as deranged as it was, actually would work. I had to try to talk to Mia about this.

  This was not going to be easy.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Mia

  I felt stunned. Numb. There are no other words to describe it. I tried to speak but found I had no breath left in my body. I was being completely blindsided by all of this. And I just didn’t understand it.

  “I’m sorry, Mia,” Tony said.

  I could see it in his eyes that he was truly sorry. He did care for me, I think… but if that were true than how could he do this? I just didn’t understand or know what to think.

  “I…I…” I struggled to speak. After a moment of gathering myself, I cleared my throat and hardened my gaze. I was getting a little bit pissed off now. “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to us?” I asked.

  Tony looked down. I could see that he felt a bit ashamed for what he was doing and I was glad. He should have been wracked with guilt. It was cowardly. That’s all it was. Tony was showing his true colors finally. And I now knew why I always felt like something between us wasn’t quite right.

  “It’s the best thing,” Tony said. “This assignment could really open a lot of doors for me. For my career, I just have to take it.”

  “I understand all of that,” I said. “But why does that mean you have to break up with me? It doesn’t. You are using it as an excuse.”

  Tony closed his eyes and hung his head for a moment. He sighed a few times and then looked up at me. “I’m sorry, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I feel it is for the best.”

  “Oh, God! Where have I heard that line before? Is that the standard ‘I’m dumping you’ line that all guys use? Is there a manual or a book they give you that outlines all this crap when you are teenagers or something?”

  “Mia, don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” Tony said.

  “Wow, you are just full of the clichés today,” I remarked. “How about you just tell me the truth?”

  “Mia…”

  “No. You tell me that you are running because you are afraid,” I demanded. “Well, guess what? I’m afraid, too. But I’m not going to tuck my tail and run away about it.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing,” Tony said.

  “It is exactly what you are doing,” I shot back. “At least have the balls to admit it. Don’t crawl out like some jerk. Walk away from me like a man.”

  Tony was silent for a moment. Finally, he looked at me and said, “You’re right.”

  “What? About what exactly am I right about? I want to hear you say it,” I said.

  I was trying not to cry. I was so furious it shouldn’t have been possible but I was hurt, too. The more I spoke the worse it became.

  “What do you want to hear?” Tony asked.

  I laughed. “Wow, you need me to coach you through it? Fine. I know that you are scared over what happened to you. Someone tried to kill you and that is enough to scare the shit out of anybody. But you running away from me and the life we could have together is just so… weak. You have to be strong and face your fears. Running doesn’t solve anything. It only makes things worse. You can’t fix your problems by avoiding them.”

  “I know,” Tony said. “I’m sorry. I really feel that this is what I have to do. I really car for you Mia and the last thing in the world I’d want to do is hurt you. But I’ve weighed all the options and I think it’s safer for you and for me if I go away. This travel assignment is a great opportunity for me to do that. And I’m taking it.”

  “Fine.” I stood up from my table and grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was only two in the afternoon but it was my day off and Lola was spending the day with my parents. They’d assured me that they kicked Jake out of the house, so that wasn’t a concern anymore. The best I could figure, I had no reason not to pass the time with the bottle today.

  “Get out of my house,” I said.

  Tony stood up and walked towards the door. As he opened the door he turned back and looked at me. I saw tears in his eyes. He looked so ashamed, and so despicable standing there with his arm still in a sling, the bruises and cuts on his face still nasty looking from the accident. I didn’t know how to feel right then.

  “I’m sorry, Mia,” Tony said. And he closed the door walking out of my life fo
rever.

  The moment I heard his engine start up, I let the tears fall. I must have cried for a good twenty minutes. I really thought Tony and I had something special. We’d only been together a short time but in that time together we’d grown so close. I’d wanted this so badly to work out. I was almost ready to introduce him to Lola.

  But I guess everything worked out for a reason. Tony was afraid of what had happened to him. I understood that. And while I had no idea if Jake really disabled Tony’s brakes or not, I did know that Tony was a coward for taking the easy way out. I thought he really cared for me. He still claimed that he did. But he didn’t care enough to stay.

  Jake had pushed him away. If Jake really did try to kill Tony, where he failed, he actually succeeded. Tony was gone. He was now out of the picture.

  And I was left alone with my feelings for Jake.

  What did I feel for him now? I’d thought endlessly since the visit from the Sheriff about whether or not I really thought that Jake could have done such a horrendous thing. I didn’t know. I might never really know.

  But did I believe? That’s what it all boiled down to. Did I believe that Jake did this and did it really change my feelings for him? Of course what kind of a horrible person was I if this didn’t change things? I hadn’t spoken to Jake for several days, not since the incident in the bakery. Was he so angry after the fact that he went outside and cut Tony’s brakes?

  No… if Tony’s brakes were cut, they had to have been cut before that? Did Jake really have reason enough or anger enough to do it before then? God, Tony was lucky that his brakes didn’t totally give out before then. When did it happen exactly? That was the thing that puzzled me so much about the whole thing—the timeline. Something about it didn’t add up.

  But Jake was the only person with motive to want to hurt Tony. Unless he had some skeletons in his closet that I just knew nothing about. And now seeing the way that Tony just up and left me high and dry, I was ready to believe anything about the guy.

  I was just in so much pain and I wanted something to come and take it away. As I sipped the nice, cold beer I started to feel that getting drunk and crying my eyes out wasn’t the answer. I wasn’t sure what to do about crying my eyes out or if I could help that, but maybe an ice cream binge would be more productive. On the rare occasion that I got drunk because I was depressed, I found that the alcohol just made me sadder and more depressed.

  But ice cream… ah yes, ice cream always made you feel better.

  I fixed myself a huge bowl of rocky road and neapolitan, which was my favorite mixture, and added some chocolate syrup, some whipped cream, and sprinkled some nuts on top. It had been a while since I’d indulged in something so wonderful. After that I pulled up the newest season of “Orange is the New Black” and proceeded to ignore the world.

  But my mind kept returning to my problems. And the odd thing was I should have been devastated about Tony, and I was, but my mind kept thinking about Jake. I wanted him to be innocent. I wanted to talk to him and get his side of things, but I was scared to do that. I didn’t know what he’d say, how he’d respond, and most of all I didn’t know if I’d decide the wrong thing.

  I didn’t want to be faced with it. If I looked into Jake’s eyes and I didn’t believe him, it would devastate me. I knew that.

  So for now, I was going to avoid him at all costs.

  But I knew that wouldn’t last long.

  ***

  I closed the door behind me and locked it, double checking it before dropping my keys into my pocket. I let out a sigh and smiled. It had been a pretty good day at the bakery, but I was ready to go home. The new girl I’d hired, Cindy had been fantastic and was going to be a huge help. It was so nice to just focus on baking without having to take care of the customers as well.

  It had been two days since Tony had left town and I was starting to piece myself back together. Surprisingly after spending a day and a half in an ice cream coma hating the world, I was actually starting to feel like myself again. It felt good. And the more I thought about it, I was definitely able to see an upside to Tony leaving. It was good that I found out exactly who he was deep down before we spent much more time together. If he hadn’t left, it was possible that things might have gotten very deep between us and I never would have found out that he was that weak.

  It might have devastated me just the way Jake’s departure had four years earlier. But I was a much stronger person now. I was better equipped to deal with it and I was ready to move on with my life. I was a mother. I didn’t need a man in my life any time soon. I just wanted to focus on Lola and my business. It might just be the two of us from now on.

  And I was just fine with that.

  “You bitch! Where is he?”

  I spun around reaching towards the pepper spray in my purse by pure instinct. The voice was close and it was angry, practically blaring in my ears.

  It took me a moment to realize I was staring into Sofia’s enraged face.

  She looked crazier than I’d ever seen her. And she was obviously drunk. I could instantly tell by the slurred speech and the way she was half staggering running towards me.

  I backed away from the bakery and towards my car which was parked in front. I wasn’t afraid of Sofia. I was pretty sure I could take her in a fight if I had too, especially when she was drunk off her ass.

  But my hand never stopped clutching my trusty pepper spray.

  “Sofia? What’s going on?”

  “Where is he? Don’t play games, bitch!” Sofia snarled.

  It was almost funny.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Where is Jake?” She demanded.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I haven’t spoken to him in days.”

  “Don’t lie to me. I know he always comes hanging around you. You are almost like his little homing device.”

  “Look, I don’t know what you want from me, but I haven’t seen Jake and I don’t intend to.”

  Sofia smirked. She was calming down a little bit. She might have been starting to believe me about Jake, but her eyes were still crazed. Something about her really gave me the creeps sometimes.

  “You have it all,” Sofia said. “Respect, family, and a nice little bakery… why the hell can’t you stay away from my man?”

  “Sofia, you should go home and sleep it off. I can tell you’ve had a bit much to drink. I can call you an Uber, if you like.”

  “Shut up! God, you are all he thinks about. It’s disgusting. People laugh at me because they see how much I love him and how he treats me while he openly pines for you. I know that you are all laughing at me. You all think that I’m a joke. I’m not stupid. I know exactly how you fucking think.”

  “I’m leaving,” I said walking towards my car.

  Sofia was suddenly in front of me blocking my way to my driver’s side door.

  “I’m not finished,” Sofia growled.

  “Get out of the way,” I said.

  “Or what? What are you going to do?”

  “Don’t test me,” I warned her.

  Sofia laughed.

  “What the hell does he see in you? Why doesn’t he look at me the same way he does you? I love him so much and he just ignores me, well except when he’s putting his dick in me.”

  I groaned at the thought. I did not want to think about the two of them having sex.

  “But you know what?” Sofia continued. “I’m pretty sure he even thinks of you while he’s fucking me. Do you have any idea what that makes me feel like?”

  “Sofia, whatever issues the two of you have is between you two. It has nothing to do with me.”

  “Oh, it has everything to do with you,” Sofia said. “I thought Jake came back to town to be with me. I thought we were going to be together and everything would be fine. Sure, I know he’s always seen me as a casual thing, but I knew we could have been so much more, if only you weren’t in the picture. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought about killing you?
”

  I took a step back. Jesus… where was she going with this?

  “Dozens probably,” Sofia said. “But no, if something actually happened to you I know that my Jake would never be the same. Besides, I’d never leave your little girl motherless. You know, I have standards.”

  “Sofia, let me go. I’m done with this conversation.”

  “Well, I’m not,” Sofia said. She gave me a wickedly evil stare. “I’ve done everything I could to get Jake to love me. But now I don’t think he is ever coming back. Not with you in the picture. I’m warning you to stay away from him.”

  “I haven’t been chasing him,” I said. “He’s the one obsessed with me. I can’t help that.”

  “No, you can’t help that,” Sofia replied. “I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe you can give me some tips?”

  “Goodnight Sofia,” I said. “Move.”

  Sofia stepped away from my car finally with a scoff.

  “I hope you have a safe drive home. Let’s hope that your brakes didn’t get cut like your boyfriend’s. That would be a bad stroke of luck, wouldn’t it?”

  I stopped and stared at her. What was she getting at? Had Jake told her something? “What are you saying, Sofia?”

  She was hardly even talking to me anymore. She was so drunk I wasn’t sure how she was still standing. Her words were slurred almost to the point I couldn’t make out what she was even babbling about anymore.

  “I thought for sure it would work. Why the hell didn’t that work?” Sofia asked nobody. She was staring off into space to her left as if she’d forgotten I was even there.

  I was starting to think she was on something else besides just alcohol. “What didn’t work Sofia?” I asked.

  She stared right at me then. With no emotion she spoke. “I thought for sure that Jake would leave town if people thought he was a murderer. A small town like this? He was supposed to leave town. But he stayed. He stayed for you.” Sofia was sobbing uncontrollably now. “He stayed for you! He will never be mine now!”

  I stood there watching as Sofia stumbled and sat down on the curb crying her eyes out.