Hidden Heart

by Camelia Miron Skiba

  “I don’t understand, you know each other?” Adrian asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

  No one answered. Cristian pressed both palms against his eyes and shook his head. He opened his eyes and rested his hands at the nape of his neck, still shaking his head.

  Adrian was the first to break the silence. “Cristian, I didn’t expect you here, but since you came, this is Tessa…the daughter I never knew I had.” He cleared his voice then continued, “Tessa, this is my son, Cristian.”

  Chapter 22

  “How could you, huh? How could you?” Cristian screamed at his father.

  They looked like two lions ready to rip each other apart. Cristian took a step closer to his father, so close their faces almost touched.

  Tessa sat speechless, unable to move, helpless at the drama unfolding right before her eyes. She feared Cristian would strike first; his jaw clenched, his fists at his side, his muscles twitching. When she looked at Adrian she saw pain, but something else. His green eyes turned to steel, his spine straight and his chest raised; no remorse whatsoever.

  “Jesus Christ, this can’t be true, it can’t…” Cristian shook his head and backed off. He paced the room, rubbing his neck, his face contorted with rage, his breath heavy.

  “I told you, I had no idea she existed. And I also told you I loved her mother. Yes, I hurt yours, and I’m sorry, but I can’t undo the past. She is here now and you chose not to meet her. Why did you change your mind?” Adrian spoke each word clear and slow, his voice holding back anger.

  “I didn’t change my mind. I just forgot you told me she’d come today.” Cristian stopped briefly on the other side of the room then turned around and with big steps he closed on his father, yelling and pointing an accusatory finger at him, “I will never ever forgive you for this!”

  Adrian took a step back. He rested his palms on Tessa’s chair and closed his eyes. He sighed and opening his eyes, he looked at his son and said, “I understand it causes you pain and I hate hurting you…If hitting me is what would help you release some of your anger, go ahead, hit me, I deserve it.” Adrian faced his son and lifted his palms slightly, spreading his fingers.

  Tessa jumped to her feet and positioned herself between the two men. As if seeing her for the first time, Cristian’s eyes focused on her. He put both hands on her upper arms and moved her aside, saying, “You stay out of this, Tessa. This is between my father and me.”

  “You’re wrong, Cristian. I’m in it as much as you are.” She spoke softly and, tilting her head, she patted him on the hand that still held onto her. If she could’ve, she would’ve taken all his pain away. If she could’ve, she would’ve held him in her arms, telling him everything would be all right.

  Cristian took her in his arms, holding tight and leaning against her. She hugged him too and caressed the back of his head. He seemed to relax, then without warning, he pushed her away and turned to his father, shoving at him.

  “You don’t have the slightest idea what you’ve done! You’ll never see me again!” Cristian said and walked away.

  Tessa hurried to stop him and caught his wrist before he walked over the threshold. “Cristian, please come back. You can’t walk away; let’s talk this through.”

  “What is there to talk about, huh?” he replied, but stopped and looked back at her with a bitter smile. “Why my father, who in his own way of being a selfish cheating bastard not only hurt my mother, but also crushed my dreams of ever being with you? The woman I’m falling for, the woman I almost slept with, my own sister?”

  “Oh, no,” Adrian said before slumping on the chair nearby. He caught his head in his palms and rested his elbows on his knees. His son’s words seemed to have shocked him.

  “Yeah, go ahead and feel sorry, like that will change anything,” Cristian said and then towards Tessa, “Come on, Tessa, let’s get out of here. The only thing my father is good at is hurting the people around him. You better stay out of his life.”

  Tessa didn’t move. She felt torn, between finding out that Cristian was her half-brother and finding her biological father. Emotions overwhelmed her as she stood between them, both staring at her; Adrian imploring her to stay and Cristian imploring her to go.

  “I think you two have a lot to discuss,” she said, raising a hand to stop Cristian from interrupting her. “I know what it means to be hurt by one family member, but I also know what it means to be lonely.” She swallowed hard a few times, her tears threatening to spill. She sighed and continued, “I can choose to be mad or accept what is thrown at me and live with it.”

  She walked back to Adrian and when he stood, she faced him and said, “Your son is one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever met. You’ve raised him well. It might take a while, but you two have to make peace.” She stood on her tippy toes, placed a hand on his cheek and kissed the other.

  Tessa returned to Cristian’s side, took his left hand and held it between hers. She looked at him, tears pouring down her face. “I do have feelings for you, but not the same kind you do for me. My heart belongs to someone else and I’m glad the night you came to my house…I’m relieved nothing happened. Lovers come and go, but I’d rather have you as my friend. I know what it means to be an orphan; don’t let this get in the way of your relationship with your father.”

  She stood again on her toes, placed a hand on Cristian’s face and kissed his other cheek. She walked into the hall entry, retrieved her purse and walked out the door. She walked down the alley to her car, got inside and drove away.

  ***

  “I’ve tried to get a hold of him for the past week and nothing. It’s like he disappeared from the face of earth,” Tessa said, drumming a pen on her office desk.

  “What do the people at work say? Did he make contact with anyone?” Adrian asked.

  “He didn’t and no one knows where he is. He never misses work, whether sick or bad weather; nothing stops him from coming in.” Tessa stood, unable to sit still. She was so worried about Cristian, but no matter how hard she tried to find him, he was nowhere to be found.

  “Like I said, I haven’t heard from or seen him ever since you two were at my house,” Adrian said, sighing at the other end of the line. “I’m worried that he did something stupid, although that’s not his nature. I’ve called several times and I even went to his door, but to no avail. He avoids me.”

  Tessa went to the window and closed the wooden blinds, then walked back to her desk.

  “Okay. I need his home address, I’ll go and see if his neighbors know anything.” She wrote down Cristian’s address and said, “I’ll call you afterwards,” and then hung up.

  She walked out the door.

  A week ago she’d met her biological father for the first time. A week ago she’d found out she had a half-brother—Cristian, no less. It couldn’t get any crazier than that, as if the world were conspiring and evil put the three of them under the same roof at the same time. She felt hurt and betrayed once again, but she kept reminding herself that she did like Cristian, as a friend does, not as a lover. She knew now more than ever that there was no future for the two of them, other than good friends, and hopefully, one day siblings who accepted each other. Would she feel different if they had slept together that night? Hard to say now, but she couldn’t keep tormenting herself with ifs and hows and whys.

  On her way to Cristian’s house, she called Eva.

  “Hey girl, are you still at work?”

  “Tessa, hi, no, I left already. I have to take my little princess to ballet. What’s up?”

  “Well, I kind of need your help with something and I was wondering if you have time to meet me for lunch or dinner.”

  “Anytime for you, boss,” Eva replied.

  “Silly, I’m not your boss anymore. How about tomorrow?”

  “That’s great. I’ll ask my mama to babysit Iulia and I could come to your house, since I haven’t seen the complete renovation. What do you think?”

  “That’s great. I’ll
cook something special for you,” Tessa said. “See you tomorrow.”

  She stopped at a Chinese restaurant, and picked up food before driving to Cristian’s place. He lived in an old, ten-story building facing a large park to the south and surrounded by other similar buildings on the east and west side. She took the elevator to the ninth floor and knocked on the door with the nameplate C. Mincu on it. No answer. She knocked again and pressed her ear onto the door, hoping to hear a noise. Nothing. She called his cell; she called the landline. She heard the phone ringing, but no one picked up.

  She heard the elevator stopping on the same floor and saw an older lady opening the door, caring heavy plastic bags in both hands.

  “May I help you?” Tessa asked and held onto the elevator’s door while the lady stepped out of it.

  “Sure, honey,” the lady said and handed Tessa one of the bags. She walked slowly to the door next to Cristian’s and placing the other bag on the floor, she looked for her keys. “It’s hard to be alone and old,” she turned slightly toward Tessa. She then unlocked her door, picked up the bag from the floor and entered her apartment. Tessa followed and placed the other bag on the table in the kitchen. She smiled at the old lady and walked back to the hall entry.

  “Thank you for helping, young lady. Would you like a glass of lemonade?” the elderly woman said, following Tessa.

  “Thanks, but I’m trying to find my bro—my friend, your next-door neighbor and I don’t want to miss him in case he returns home.” Tessa saw the smile fading from the lady’s face and added quickly, “You know what? I’m actually really thirsty; I’d love some lemonade.”

  They walked back into the woman’s apartment and within seconds, Tessa found herself sitting on the sofa in the living room, a glass of cold lemonade in her hand. The place had the aura of an antique store, with old furniture, lots of handmade macramé and a strong lavender smell.

  “Mr. Mincu should be home, I saw his car parked downstairs,” the old woman joined Tessa on the sofa. “I promised him yesterday I’d bake his favorite cherry-pie for helping me with the cold-water faucet. It’s leaking in the bathroom, driving me crazy. I had a plumber fix it the other day, but a few hours later, the faucet began dripping again and…”

  The elderly woman talked non-stop, jumping from one subject to another, from her health problems to the horrible treatment old people received at the doctor, to the confused young generation and hopeless status of the country.

  Tessa finished her lemonade, stood and picked up the Chinese food bag.

  “Ma’am, thank you for the lemonade. I have to go now.”

  “Oh, yes, you’re waiting for Mr. Mincu. Why don’t I try reaching him,” she said winking at Tessa. She walked to the wall separating her apartment from Cristian’s, and whispered, “We have this little secret; whenever I need him, I pound three times on the wall and he comes right away. Watch this.” The woman chuckled and vigorously hit the wall with her little fist.

  Tessa held her breath. For a few seconds nothing happened, but then she heard the doorbell ringing.

  “And here he is,” the lady said, opening the door.

  “What’s the emergency, Mrs. Voinea? Is the pie ready?” he said, entering the apartment.

  “Mr. Mincu you have a guest,” she said, stepping aside to make room for Tessa.

  Cristian looked baffled, “What are you doing here?”

  Tessa lifted the bag with takeout food and said, “I brought dinner.” She turned to the elderly woman and said, “That’s a great trick. I’ll use it, too. Thank you for all your help.”

  The old lady shooed them out of her apartment and said, “You kids have fun. I have a pie to bake. Stop by anytime.”

  Cristian turned on his heels and opened the door to his apartment. He held it for Tessa to enter, then locked it behind her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, looking anything but friendly; a scruffy beard, messy hair, wrinkled t-shirt hanging ill-fitting on his wide shoulders.

  She pretended not to see the leave-me-alone grimace on his face and took a few steps. She saw an open door to the right side and, walking right into the kitchen, she placed the bag with food on the table.

  Cristian followed her, leaning against the doorframe.

  “I’m starving, let’s eat,” she said, unpacking the boxes of food. “It must be cold already; do you have any bowls?”

  He motioned behind her. Tessa retrieved several bowls, spooned fried-rice and noodles, orange chicken and spicy mandarin beef and placed them one by one in the microwave. Once warmed, she set everything on the table, handed him chopsticks and began eating.

  He sat opposite her, looked at her gobbling her food, still not saying a word.

  “Mmm, this is delicious,” she said, minutes later. She looked around and, making a quick circle in the air with a finger, she said, “Nice place. Modern. Looks exactly like a bachelor pad.”

  He began eating, eyeing her above mouthfuls of food. “Thanks,” was the only word he said.

  She finished her meal, stood and walked to the fridge. “Anything to drink?” but she already had a bottle of ice tea in her hand.

  She opened several cupboards until she found glasses, placed one in front of him and filled it up, first with ice, then ice tea from the same bottle.

  “Do you always go through people’s kitchen, opening cupboards and helping yourself to their stuff?” he placed the bowl in the sink, not bothering to rinse it.

  “No, not all people. Just my brother’s.”

  He sighed and clenched his jaw, then turned on the faucet and rinsed his bowl. She handed him hers, which he took and rinsed as well.

  “Okay, kitchen is clean,” Tessa said after throwing the empty boxes into the trash. She walked past him and, since he didn’t bother to show her around, she inspected the rest of the apartment.

  “This place is bigger than any normal apartment. How in the world do you have five bedrooms and three baths?” she yelled from one of the bedrooms.

  Cristian found her and said, “I bought the other two apartments and broke some of the partition walls. Mrs. Voinea is the only other person living on the floor. I bought hers too and when she dies, I’ll expand even more.” He turned around and walked into the living room.

  Tessa finished examining Cristian’s apartment and came and sat next to him on the sofa. He watched a boxing match on TV, ignoring her or at least pretending to ignore her. For the next twenty minutes neither of them spoke. In the beginning Tessa watched the fight, but the kicking and the blood didn’t sit well with her.

  “I guess we have something else in common other than the same father,” she said when she couldn’t take the silence any longer.

  He looked briefly at her then said, “What’s that?”

  “Stubbornness.” She pulled her legs underneath her and rested an elbow on the back of the sofa, staring at him. “As children, my sisters and I played this game called mum and we’d mimic and grimace until whoever made the slightest noise would be disqualified. You wanna try it?”

  He turned off the TV and turned to face her, copying her body position. “You came all the way here to play mum with me?”

  “I came because I was worried about you. Besides, that’s what siblings do, right?”

  “Tessa, you have to stop this sibling this, sibling that, brother here, sister there…I still have a huge issue with this and I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Why does it bother you so much? Is it because it’s me or do you struggle with the notion of a half-sister?” she asked.

  He didn’t say anything; instead he picked up the remote and held it as if he wanted to turn the TV back on, but he didn’t.

  “It’s because…because of you,” he said, not looking straight at her. He stood and walked away, looking out the window. “I feel like such an idiot for putting my heart out there and finding out afterwards that you’re my sister. When I saw you at my father’s house it was like the rug had been pulled from under my feet. I just can’t look a
t you without feeling ashamed for wanting you. Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if that night we would’ve had sex?” He shook his head and turned to look at her, his eyes sparkling with apprehension.

  Tessa stood and came to face him. Shrugging a shoulder, she said, “I’ve been asking myself the same question, freaking out over it. But I can’t and won’t do it anymore. We haven’t slept together and that’s what matters. I want you and Adrian in my life and I’ll be damned if I can’t have you both. We belong together. True, not in the way you wanted, but hopefully in time you’ll forgive him. I want to grow old together, share holidays together, have our children play together; you and I have a bond we can’t deny, no matter how pissed off you are at Adrian right now.”

  Cristian shook his head and walked away, returning to the sofa. The boxing match was back on.

  “He is pretty worried about you,” Tessa said.

  “And you are a pest, you know that?”

  “Get used to it.” She came next to him, ruffled his hair, then placed a kiss on top of his head and walked away. “See you tomorrow night. Dinner’s at six. I have Eva, a friend coming over, and she’s amazing. The fundraiser is around the corner and I asked her to help us. And if you have any leftover pie from your neighbor, please bring it. I love cherry-pie.”

  ***

  Now that finding her biological father wasn’t an issue anymore, Tessa became a machine over the next few weeks, working hard to organize the fundraising event for Dina’s establishment. She visited the shelter as often as she could, met with Cristian and Eva a few times and, as the deadline approached, she felt really excited. She had a hunch that the two of them liked each other, but when she asked them, they both denied it. Eva’s flushed face, her giggle, her nervous hands were sure signs of her liking Cristian. And Cristian’s teasing and glances at Eva when he thought she didn’t see him lasted a bit too long not to mean something.