Certain Sure

by Williams, Reina M.

  “Katie, we can…” Michael said as they walked to his car.

  “Thanks for coming by,” Katie said in a loud voice. Michael glanced at her, a puzzled look on his face. When they reached his car, he faced her. She reached up, pulled him to her, and kissed him, channeling all her anger and frustration at him and Fin into it. “That was goodbye,” she whispered before giggling at the stunned look on his face. Fin’s car door slammed and his car sped away.

  “Katie, that was--”

  “I know, but it wasn’t for you. It’s not you. ‘Bye.” She strode back into the house, leaned against the door, and inhaled a deep breath. Her flashes were not of Michael. They could be, but she wouldn’t let them be. She marched into the living room. Her father looked up at her.

  “Well?” he said, putting the paper down.

  “Listen carefully, Patrick Dillon: I am not marrying Michael. I want to work at the pub and I would do a great job and you’ll be sorry to lose me. I can leave now if you want.” Katie watched her father. His face flushed an angry purplish hue.

  “Your mother wants you to stay until you have a new job,” he said, picking up the paper and snapping it out in front of him. Katie shrugged and walked out.

  When her mom returned, they made small talk as they prepared a late lunch. Katie then ate alone in the kitchen, by her choice, while her mom ate with her dad in the living room. Katie supposed she should go easy on her dad right now since he wasn’t used to being almost confined to the house. Still, they’d always a contentious relationship. It didn’t help that they spent more time together now. After lunch, Katie told her mom she would take a drive and not to expect her back that night. Katie packed an overnight bag and went out.

  She drove into downtown Menlo Park, parked and walked around, ending up in Kepler’s Books, where she browsed for almost two hours. Then she drove out to 280 and cruised up, enjoying the speed and the views, so much more pleasant, lined with trees and hills, than most other freeways. She found herself, once she headed south again, exiting near the Dunbars’. Normally, Katie would eat out and go to her aunt Aleen’s, but she couldn’t afford to do the former and felt uncomfortable with the latter.

  Maggie and Mary were happy to see her, as usual, and invited her to stay as long as she wanted. After dinner, Mary asked Katie to tell her what bothered her, so she did, minus the parts about Fin and her flashes. Mary listened before saying, as Fergus had: “Everything will work out.”

  Katie sighed. It was nice to hear, even if she had a hard time believing it. As she lay in the bed of what used to be Fin’s room, Katie felt his presence, as she did so often lately. She wanted to believe he was the man in her flashes, but it could be Michael. What if she was somehow making the wrong choice? Katie wasn’t used to following her heart, her instincts, her intuition, or whatever these crazy flashes were, and she tossed and turned for a long time, trying to make sense of it all. But nothing made sense and she wasn’t sure she could accept that. At least with Michael, things were clear.

  The next day was so bright and breezy, Katie happily spent the whole time helping Mary in the garden, talking, and lying on the springy grass under the wide oaks while Mary read. Katie had called her parents and left them a message so they would know where she was so she was surprised to come home that evening to an empty house and a note saying they were out at the pub. Maybe they went to have dinner, Katie thought with a shrug.

  She had a salad and then watched a movie in the family room. When she glanced at the clock, she started to worry a little. It was already after ten and they still weren’t home. Katie considered calling the pub, but then remembered how peaceful her evening had been and decided to go up to bed rather than spoil it by having her dad snipe at her for checking up on them. It had been a good day. Katie fell asleep right away.

  “I told you not to!” someone shouted, waking Katie. She sat up in bed. She pulled on her robe and ran into the hall, the morning light shadowing the walls.

  “Stop griping at me, woman!” her father said.

  “You can barely move, Pat,” her mom said as Katie walked into their room.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Go on, girl, I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. I told you to call Katie. I shouldn’t have gone with you, you stubborn old fool,” her mom said, shaking her head, helping her dad into the bed. “You’re father had an--”

  “No need to tell her that.”

  “Then you tell her what happened last night while I clean up,” her mom said. Her dad winced as he eased himself against the pillows while her mom clattered around in their bathroom.

  “Were you working last night, Dad?” Katie said.

  “Yes, Fin asked for a night off. The lad deserves it. I wanted to show your mother I could work again. And I can. I’m just a little sore today is all.”

  Katie’s mother snorted. “Can barely move now, that’s what,” she said from the bathroom.

  “Why don’t I make some breakfast?” Katie said.

  “There’s a good lass,” her father said. “A full fry, that’s my girl,” he finished as he closed his eyes. He was done in. That was the only time he spoke to her like that, unless he was drunk. And Katie knew who was to blame. She’d fry something, all right.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Katie banged and slammed pans, the sausage package, and potatoes onto the counter, muttering to herself as she made breakfast. When she was done, she had a piece of toast while her mom took the tray to Katie’s dad. Then Katie ran upstairs, gave herself a quick fix up in the bathroom and got dressed. Seeing herself in the mirror, she stopped. She looked almost like a young girl in her blue shorts and tee shirt, no makeup, a sprinkling of light freckles across her nose, her angry expression too similar to Rose’s when she got mad. Katie took a deep breath and clenched her fists.

  She knocked on the door and made herself tense, imperturbable to his charms.

  “Katie, good morning,” Fin said as he opened the door wearing his plaid pajama bottoms and a tee shirt. Katie gritted her teeth and glared past him.

  “Still have company?”

  “I haven’t had any, unlike you,” he said.

  “I’m surprised you’re here, then.” Katie tapped her foot.

  “Why are you here?”

  “Was it worth it? My dad can barely make it out of bed this morning. He wore himself out covering for you last night.” Fin’s masculine, vaguely forest-like scent caused her temples to throb with more than anger.

  “I thought he’d ask you.” Katie avoided his eyes as he spoke, his tone firm and edging toward dismissive.

  “Why would you think that? Haven’t you been paying attention? Or maybe you’re too distracted by Remi,” Katie said. She recalled how Fin had been so attentive to Remi the other night…and when she’d come out of this very cottage after spending the night with Fin.

  “I’m sorry about your dad, but if you came here to dump on me, you can leave.”

  “I’m not done.” Heat enveloped her.

  “I am,” Fin said, going into the bedroom. Katie followed him.

  “You couldn’t wait until tomorrow for your date?” Katie asked as Fin stripped off his shirt. She had much nastier things to say, but they floated away when she noticed the muscles of his arms flexing, a small Celtic cross tattooed on his left shoulder. She focused on it, thinking it would turn her off, but it had the opposite effect.

  “Unless you plan on joining me in the shower, you might want to go,” Fin said with a wicked take on the Dunbar grin. A shiver ran through her. “Or do you like to watch?”

  Katie’s face burned, especially when Fin pulled off his bottoms. Thank goodness he had on boxers too.

  “Fin Dunbar…” she said in a strangled voice. He laughed and she stamped her foot, which only caused him to laugh more. Katie turned and stormed out, Fin’s laughter following her as she did.

  Katie let her mom do the talking that day, not that she spoke much either. She mentioned the lunch a
t Mary’s the next day. Her dad would get his way now, as he was in no shape to go anywhere. However, she told Katie to go or Rose would be even more disappointed. Katie shrugged and went for a long walk, hoping to saturate her vision with something other than Fin’s half-naked body.

  When she scuffed out to the pool at the Dunbars’ the next day, Katie stopped and warmed at seeing much the same sight she had the morning before. Fin stood talking to Fergus, both in their swim trunks, but it was only Fin Katie really saw. She turned and smiled at Mary, who had just put her hand on Katie’s shoulder. They hugged and Katie asked where everyone else was.

  “They’ll be out in a minute,” Mary said.

  Fergus and Fin walked over. Fergus grabbed Katie and gave her a tight hug, smiling as he let go. Maureen walked up behind them; her pretty frown puzzled Katie. How could she have offended Maureen this time? Rose hugged Katie before running over to Fin, who had moved toward the pool when Mr. Dunbar and Aunt Aleen appeared. Katie stared at them for a moment. They were a handsome couple and both glowed, happy. Katie had never seen Mr. Dunbar smile like that before. Now she understood why her aunt said Fin resembled his father. Katie pulled at her swimsuit as she glanced at her aunt and Maureen, who had slender, shapely frames and looked sophisticated in their black swimsuits with artfully tied cover ups while Katie wore shorts with her tankini.

  “You look cute, honey,” her aunt said as they hugged.

  “Thanks,” Katie said, watching as Fin and Rose splashed together. Maureen lay in a lounge chair, sunning herself as usual while Fergus and his father went into the pool together. “Are you and Mary coming swimming?” Katie asked. The two women stood next to each other. Mary was nearly as tall as Aleen, but Mary was so tiny, dwarfed in a floppy sun hat. Mary smiled at Katie and Aunt Aleen, squeezing her friend’s hand.

  “Not me,” Mary said. “I did my laps this morning. I’ll join Maureen. Will your father be well?” she asked Katie.

  “He always is,” Katie said.

  Aunt Aleen laughed while Mary frowned, almost a pout.

  “He isn’t as tough as he seems,” Mary said before waving and walking over to the chair next to Maureen’s, where she settled in with her book.

  “We better join Rose, though she looks in her element, surrounded by those three handsome men. A flirt she is, like her mother,” Aunt Aleen said.

  “And her great aunt,” Katie said.

  Katie laughed and splashed with Rose, Fin, Fergus, and sometimes even Aunt Aleen and Mr. Dunbar. She lightened being so distracted from Fin’s sexiness, though she couldn’t help noticing him several times. Fergus eventually lounged on a chair next to Maureen while Rose went into the kitchen with her grandma to help Maggie with lunch. Katie swam a little before stopping to rest a moment, enjoying the gentle push of the water on her legs, the chlorine smell overpowered by the jasmine and roses lining the fence.

  Her aunt and Mr. Dunbar were on the far end of the pool, in a shady spot. He caressed her hair before they kissed, their arms wrapped around each other. Katie faced the fence again, her body hot in embarrassment that she’d watched them and in having wished Fin would hold her like that, would think she was as beautiful as Mr. Dunbar thought her aunt was. Fin had said it, but it had only been a line.

  “Unbelievable,” Fin muttered as he stood beside her. He could sure be stealthy in the pool.

  “What?”

  “My father. How can he act like that here, in front of all of us?”

  “I think you’re the only one who minds.”

  “What do you know? Your parents have always been happily married.”

  “Shows what you know.” Katie moved toward the stairs. Fin grabbed her arm, whispering in her ear.

  “I know I can’t take much more.”

  Katie trembled, unsure at his tone, a hoarse mixture of anger and desire.

  “Lunch!” Rose and Mary called as they and Maggie came out with trays piled with sandwiches, chips, fruit salad, and vegetables and dip. Fergus followed with a tub filled with ice and juices, sodas, and beer. They all just fit around the large oval patio table and Katie relaxed as she sat next to Fergus, who lounged next to Rose whose Grandpa James pulled a chair next to hers while Mary perched across the table from her husband-- in name, anyway. Maureen sat between Aunt Aleen and Fin. Unfortunately, this meant Fin sat across from Katie, though he didn’t look at her as he sat sullenly eating, nursing his beer.

  Katie talked to Fergus and smiled watching Rose interact with her grandpa and Aunt Aleen. She had never known the two so light-hearted, at least not Mr. Dunbar. Katie almost felt strange calling him Mr. Dunbar anymore, knowing so much about him and seeing him in this new way. A few times, Katie noticed Maureen frowning, though she couldn’t understand why. However, it didn’t stop her from laughing with Fergus. She’d long ago given up puzzling over her sister’s moods, though it was a new twist seeing Maureen and Fin both frowning and silent.

  “Rose, why don’t we go see about dessert?” Maureen said once everyone was done. Rose skipped away, Maureen following.

  “Mom,” Fin said, finally looking around the table. “How can you stand this?” He motioned to his dad and Aunt Aleen, who sat next to each other, holding hands.

  “Son, do I look unhappy? Aleen is my oldest, dearest friend. And your father has been a comfort and protector to me all these years. If I hadn’t been so selfish, they could have been happy together before.”

  “They have been together, haven’t they?”

  “It isn’t the same,” Aunt Aleen said in a quiet voice. “Do you think we liked sneaking around, pretending?”

  “Yes,” Fin said, fingering his beer bottle.

  “What do you know?” James asked. “You’ve never married and probably have never been in love. I don’t expect you to understand.”

  “I understand more than you think. You and mom had no business getting married when you didn’t love each other.”

  “We love each other,” Mary said. “There are many kinds of love, Fin.”

  Katie gazed at him and hurt. He frowned like an injured boy trying not to cry.

  “What does it matter now?” Fergus said. “We’ve all got to accept what is. No one can change the past. I need you to try to be okay with this, for Rose. She sees how things are and she’s worried about you.”

  Fin stared at Katie, who met his gaze only with effort. “Aren’t you going to say anything, Katie?” he said.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I don’t agree with you. Fergus is right. We all have to move on.”

  Fin frowned, the Dunbar look. Katie smiled at Fergus as he squeezed her hand. They all turned on hearing Rose and Maureen, who spoke more loudly than usual, bringing a plate of cupcakes out.

  “Look, I helped Maggie decorate!” Rose said as she paraded to everyone in turn, showing off her work and making each take one. “I made ones with hearts for you and Aunt Katie,” she said to Fin. “Because you need extra love.”

  “I’ve got plenty of love, my girl,” Fin said while Rose looked at him with an expression so like Maureen’s when she thought Katie acted like an idiot that Katie giggled. Fin shot her his own special look.

  “She’s got a lot of her mom in her,” Katie whispered to Fergus.

  “I’m afraid so,” he replied seriously to Katie’s tease.

  Katie frowned, trying to catch his eye, but he smiled, watching Rose as she came to sit next to him. Rose chattered about getting to spend the night at Grandma Mary’s again and the tea party they planned with Grandma Mavis at Mrs. Knight’s.

  “But Uncle Fin won’t be home and you never let me help you with your painting.” Rose pouted.

  “I saved you a spot,” he said. “I can come home for lunch, if you want.”

  Rose nodded and Katie knew she would need to be quick with an excuse.

  “You come too, Aunt Katie,” Rose said.

  “I have to stay with Grandpa Pat.”

  “I can sit with him,” Mary said.

  “H
ow about just you and me?” Fin said. “I have some secrets to tell you.” Fin winked at Fergus as Rose turned her attention to her grandpa.

  Katie knew she should feel relieved but instead she got up, excused herself, and hurried to the bathroom. She took her time. She’d left her clothes in the cabinet and got changed. She frowned and pulled her daybook out of her purse. She recounted again. Her period was a week late. Must be stress--it had happened before, at least by a few days. When she walked out, Maureen paced in the living room; she motioned to Katie.

  “I know why you didn’t want to marry Michael,” she said once Katie stood near her.