Certain Sure

by Williams, Reina M.

  “Where is everyone?” Katie asked.

  “Don’t do that, little sister. You can’t get Fergus away from me.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Stop playing dumb. I know you can be naïve, but you’re smart.”

  “I’d like to know what you’re talking about, too,” Fergus said from the doorway. He and Fin strode over together. Katie’s legs itched to run.

  “You know what I’m talking about, Fergus,” Maureen said in a tone similar to the one Rose used with Fin earlier. “Katie’s always had a crush on you, ever since you moved here. ‘F.D. is so handsome, but his girlfriend makes me sick,’” Maureen said in a girly tone. Katie went rigid and hot. “’I hope he’ll be my first.’ God, you are sickening. Everyone always loved you, sweet Katie, but Fergus wanted me, not you.”

  “You read my diary when we were teenagers? What kind of sister are you? Why, Maureen? You have everything.” Katie stared at her sister, the air between them thick, making it hard for Katie to breathe.

  “Everything you want.”

  “I don’t want Fergus. He’s my brother.”

  Maureen studied her for a long moment before she laughed. “Oh my God,” she said, her laughter growing hysterical. Maureen examined Fin. Katie wanted to slink away, but she rooted to the spot, like the oak trees in the yard. She pinched herself. “Fin? Fin…” Maureen cried, still laughing. Katie had never seen her so undone. She studied her white Keds.

  “Maureen, you’ve said enough,” Fergus said in a low tone. He took Maureen by the arm and led her out. “I’ll take care of things, Katie. It’s not your fault,” he said over his shoulder. “Don’t listen to her.”

  Katie stepped to leave but Fin grabbed her arm. She glanced at him, made herself scowl at him. “It’s a good thing you didn’t bring Remi and Denise. I wouldn’t want you blaming me for scaring them away.”

  “I told her to get back with her ex,” Fin said as Katie raised her eyebrows. “I don’t like being second in a woman’s affections.”

  “You are so full of yourself.” Katie’s head lightened. She had to get away.

  “Apparently some women like that,” he said with his boy’s too-sexy grin.

  “I lied. It was Fergus.”

  “You can’t wiggle out of this one, girlie.”

  “Don’t call me that.” Katie wriggled out of his grasp and put her hands on her hips, facing him.

  “You’re right, of course. What do you prefer? Sweetheart? Honey? Darlin’?” With each word he inched closer to her. Katie stiffened, he was too near.

  “Fin Dunbar,” James said as he and Aunt Aleen walked in. Katie stepped back. Fin grimaced. “Leave Katie alone. She’s not some girl you picked up at the pub. Didn’t I tell you, Aleen?”

  “Told her what?” Fin asked, facing his father.

  “How you’ve been watching Katie all afternoon. I know that look.”

  “Of course you do, Dun, it’s the way you used to look at me when we first met.”

  Katie swallowed and widened her eyes at her aunt.

  “I never looked at you like…” he paused when Aunt Aleen laughed and put her hand on his back. “I won’t have it. Fin’s never been serious about a woman in his life. I won’t have him hurt Katie.”

  “Who are you to lecture me about women?” Fin yelled.

  “I’m going to find Rose and say goodbye,” Katie said, kissing her aunt on her way out.

  “Katie, wait,” Fin said. Katie glanced over her shoulder at Fin, who tried to follow, but James stopped him.

  “We need to talk,” James said to Fin. Katie walked away.

  Katie wished she could leave town, but she didn’t have enough money and her head hurt too much to think of a good plan. She ate dinner by herself, trying to make sense of everything, but nothing did. How could Maureen say everyone loved her, as if they loved her more than Maureen? Katie shook her head. All these years, they both felt the other had all the love. As she paced the kitchen after cleaning up, the phone rang.

  “Katie?” a soft voice asked when Katie picked up.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s me.”

  “Fergus? What’s wrong? Has something…”

  “I need help. I tried Fin, but he’s not answering. Please come.”

  “Where are you?” Katie asked as she searched for her purse and keys and fiddled on her sneakers.

  “Home. Hurry, please.”

  “Fergus, I’m coming. Rose needs you, whatever happened, think of Rose.” Katie rushed out, frantic from Fergus’s despairing, desperate tone. She almost stopped to run over to Fin’s, but she couldn’t spare the time.

  Katie let herself in at Fergus and Maureen’s when no one answered. “Fergus!” she called before spotting him on the sofa, leaning forward, staring at a bottle of vodka, a glass in his hand. He glanced up at her. A weak smile briefly glimmered before he looked away. Katie sat next to him. “You don’t drink, Fergus.”

  “Not anymore, or not until tonight. I’m an alcoholic, an addict.”

  Katie sat still, stunned. She gently took the glass from him and set it on the table. He glanced at her, a shamed look on his face. “You’ve done right to choose Fin. Maureen and I are pretenders--it’s you and Fin who are the good ones. No, I won’t bring Maureen down. She has reasons. She’s been hurt.”

  “You are a good person, Fergus, too good for Maureen.”

  “No, she’s told me things no one else knows.”

  Katie hurt at the despair in his eyes; he felt Maureen’s pain as if it was his.

  “And me…I let my own brother go to jail for me. Those were my drugs, not his. He made me go to rehab and I’ve been sober for almost eight years. What am I doing, Katie? What have I done? Maybe my dad was right to marry my mom. I should have married you, Katie,” he whispered, gazing at her. “It’s you I’ve loved since we were little…”

  “I love you too, Fergus, but you know it’s not the same,” she said, putting her hands on his chest as he leaned in towards her. “You love Maureen.”

  “She left me. I think she’s gone to be with Michael.”

  Katie drew in a breath. “Do you want her back?”

  “I want Rose to have her mother. Whatever else, she’s a good mom.”

  “Is she? A good mother wouldn’t leave her baby girl.”

  “You don’t understand Maureen. She makes the grand gestures, lashes out, you know. She’s upset and confused.”

  “What about you?” Katie held him close after he looked at her, his eyes swimming with tears. He slumped down into her and she stroked his hair, so springy and fine, like Rose’s. “We love you. Rose will be okay. She has you, and all of us.”

  Fergus sat up and sucked in a deep breath. “I know. God only knows why, but I still want Maureen. You Dillon women will take a man to the devil.” He grinned a little, the Dunbar grin.

  Katie smiled. “We’re sirens, the lot of us. Or maybe it’s you Dunbar men…”

  Fergus heaved a sigh. “Yeah.”

  “I better call my mom. I didn’t tell her I was going out. You want me to call Fin again? You shouldn’t be alone.” Fergus nodded, staring at the vodka. Katie took it into the kitchen and poured it down the sink, throwing away the bottle. She returned to the living room and called her mom and then Fin, all the while watching Fergus sitting, his head leaned back into the couch, hands on his thighs. After ten rings, Fin answered.

  “Fin, I’m here at Fergus’s. Can you come? Maureen’s left him. I don’t want him to be alone and I can’t stay. He’s been drinking.” Katie waited, but only heard the hum of the phone line. “Fin, are you there?”

  “Yeah, I’m on my way. Thanks,” he said before hanging up.

  “He’s coming,” Katie said. “Do you want some tea?”

  Fergus shook his head. “Actually, yeah.”

  He rose and Katie followed him into the kitchen, where he slumped in a chair. It seemed that was all he could do. Katie put on the kettle, measur
ed tea into the pot, poured milk into the jug, put out the sugar and mugs, made Fergus a cup and stood next to him, watching him sip the steamy brew.

  “Tea and sympathy,” he said, putting his hand on Katie’s.

  She shrugged. It was what her mom always did in a crisis: made tea and listened. “Should I call anyone else?”

  “Can you call my mom? And then I should talk to my dad about work. I don’t know how long I’ll need.”

  “You’re going after her?” Fergus nodded and leaned into her. Katie kissed him on the head. “I love you, Fergus Dunbar.”

  “I love you, Katie Dillon,” he said, squeezing her hand. “Everything will work out, won’t it?”

  “As Rose says, happily ever after.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Fin edged in the back door at Fergus’s. Katie and Fergus held hands, Fergus leaned his head into her stomach while she stood next to his chair. Fin clenched his jaw and told himself the scene before him was innocent, but that didn’t stop his stomach from roiling with jealous bile.

  “Well then,” Fin said. “I hope I didn’t come all this way to watch you two holding hands.”

  Fergus chuckled but Katie glared at him. She squeezed Fergus’s hand and let go of it. “Like a cup of tea?” she asked.

  “Sure, thanks,” Fin said. He eased into the chair next to his brother. Fergus slumped forward, as if Katie had been supporting him. His hands trembled.

  Katie pushed a mug of tea over to Fin and topped off her own. She sat across from him. The milky, sweet steam eased a few kinks in his neck.

  “Katie, I appreciate you calling. I’m sure your parents will be worried…” Fin said. He didn’t know how to tell her to leave so he and Fergus could talk uncensored.

  “I told her the truth,” Fergus said.

  Fin pushed his hand through his hair, feeling his face heat. He wanted to ask which truth, but he didn’t. After a few moments, he met Katie’s eyes. Unsure of what he saw, he faced Fergus but was unable to find words.

  “He says Maureen’s left him, gone to Michael’s. He wants to go get her back,” Katie said in a quiet but firm voice.

  Fin glanced at her. Her delicate skin paled, making her appear even more innocent and scared. His body ached to hold her. He choked back whisperings of comfort. They were here for Fergus.

  “Are you sure?” Fin said.

  Fergus nodded. “She called me from his place. She said everything’s been a lie and she can’t live like that anymore. You know how she is, she gets worked up.”

  “Yeah,” Fin said. He’d witnessed more than one of Maureen’s scenes. He couldn’t understand why Fergus stayed with her. And now he wanted her back.

  “I know what you’re thinking Fin. I’m sorry.”

  “Your sobriety comes before coddling Maureen. Rose needs her dad.”

  “She has you and Katie,” Fergus said. His voice sank dangerously into dejection.

  “Don’t talk like that. We’re not her parents. I could never be the father you are,” Fin said.

  “You’ll be better.”

  “No,” Fin said. “Are you still in touch with your sponsor?”

  Fergus shook his head. “I don’t have time. I’ve got to get her back before she does more she’ll regret.”

  “I’ll go with you, then.”

  “I’ll cover for you at the pub tomorrow,” Katie said. She stood and cleared the table.

  “Thanks,” Fin said.

  “You won’t tell your parents,” Fergus asked, though it was less a question than a command. He stood and stretched.

  Fin exhaled. Fergus wouldn’t fall apart this time.

  “Okay,” Katie said slowly.

  “I know you’re not much of a liar,” Fergus said. “But you’ll need to, especially for Rose’s sake.”

  Katie’s hands shook as she set a dishtowel on the counter. Fergus took her hands and smiled at her. “Fin’s right, your parents will be worried. Go on home.”

  Fin put his head in his hands. A sharp pain edged in his gut like he’d been stabbed. The intimacy Fergus and Katie shared shouldn’t bother him, but it did.

  “You’re sure?” Katie said. Oh, so if Fergus said to go, she would. If Fin tried to tell her anything with the tiniest hint of command, she shot sparks at him, not like the tender look she had for Fergus. Fin scooted his chair back with a loud scrape.

  “We better go,” Fin said. “We’ll call you,” he said to Katie. Tears sparkled in her eyes. Fergus kissed her cheek and walked out. Fin caressed her arm as he passed. “I’ll take care of him.”

  She hung her head as he rushed out to catch up with his brother.

  The chill air pierced through Fin when he jogged down the driveway. He’d forgotten his jacket. Fergus sat in the passenger seat of Fin’s truck. Fin started it up, blasting the heater for a few moments while he chafed his hands. The warm air became heavy with his scent, a hint of Katie’s swirling. He shut his eyes and the image of her beneath him, glowing and beautiful, made him shudder.

  “You okay?” Fergus asked.

  “I should ask you that,” Fin said. Fergus shrugged and Fin drove down the street. After a few minutes, they merged onto the freeway. Being a Sunday night, the traffic was light. “What are you going to say? I mean, what if they’re…maybe we should have called first.”

  “No,” Fergus said. “If they’re in bed already, I need to know.” He sat back and pulled out his wallet, flipping it open to a photo of Rose. “Whatever happens, I’ll protect my baby girl. I thank God every day she’s mine. If I didn’t have her…”

  Fin’s throat constricted, his palms slick on the steering wheel. “She’s our girl. We’ll make sure she’s okay.” He would make sure, no matter what lies he had to tell.

  Fergus directed him through San Francisco until they reached Presidio Heights. Fin glanced for a moment at the familiar twinkling skyline. It was a fun city, but nothing pulled him here. Now only Katie created the deep relief of coming home which settled in his gut every time she was near.

  He parked a couple blocks away from Michael’s apartment building, unable to find anything closer. At a brisk pace, he and Fergus walked to the remodeled Victorian. By a stroke of luck, one of Michael’s neighbors, who knew Fergus, was returning and let them in with her. Their footsteps echoed in the corridor. Fin banged on Michael’s door. Voices slithered out before the door opened.

  “Good,” Michael said.

  Fergus grunted and plowed into him. Fin entered, shut the door and followed the two as they careened down the hall. Michael shoved Fergus. Maureen sobbed, heaving and silent, while she sat hunched on the couch. Fergus lowered himself next to her, whispering.

  “Fin,” Michael said. “For once I’m glad to see you. Take her home, will you?”

  “Why we’re here,” Fin said.

  “You bastard,” Maureen said. She stood and wiped her eyes with her arm. Fin’s brow furrowed until he realized she was talking to Michael.

  “I told you,” Michael said. “I don’t want you. Not for a wife. You want out of your marriage, I’ll help you, if you help me win Katie back.”

  Fin pushed Michael. “Keep away from her.”

  “She won’t believe you if you tell her.” Michael smirked.

  “She already does.”

  “You didn’t tell her everything. Maybe I should get my own paternity test. Maybe you lied and Rose is mine. Katie would never forgive you all and she’d help me get custody.”

  “You’re nuts,” Fin said.

  “Rose is mine,” Fergus said.

  “You won’t take her from me,” Maureen yelled. “I’ll tell Katie the truth myself. She’s never loved you anyway.”

  “Bull,” Michael said. “We were engaged--”

  “She wouldn’t sleep with you,” Maureen sneered.

  “She wanted to wait,” Michael said. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

  Fin smiled. His feet itched to jig around the room. Katie waited for him, yet she couldn’t wai
t to be with him. She loved him, only him, as he did her. “Give it up, Michael. You’ll never get Katie.”

  “I want a paternity test,” Michael replied.

  “We had one. Fergus is Rose’s father,” Fin said. His smile faded into a dark grimace. “What do you care? You told Maureen to have an abortion. You never wanted Rose.”

  “Katie loves Rose,” he said.