by TJ Rudolph
“I think you’re amazing in the band.”
“Is that all?” he pouted.
I burst out in laughter at how silly he looked with his bottom lip stuck out. “Actually, you’re a pretty decent friend too,” I admitted.
“So I’m forgiven then?” he asked.
“Completely absolved of all your transgressions,” I retorted.
“Then my work here is done but if you change your mind, please come. We’ve signed a contract with the college to sing there every second Saturday and I am sure Dean would love to see more of Bobby.”
I sighed at that, “I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were Dean. Bobby is not the relationship type.”
“Would you look at that,” he chuckled, “Bobby the man slayer! Who would’ve thought?”
He checked his watch, “I have to get going. The band is rehearsing in a few minutes, but if you’re still up later I will come around to say goodnight.” He stood up and I walked toward him and gave him a swift peck on his cheek.
He stood still for a moment and looked at me surprised. “What was that for?”
“For a great meal and for proving that you are a really great friend by apologizing and wanting to make things right.” I turned around and started packing the dishes in the sink.
He stood in the kitchen for a while, I could feel his eyes on my back and then he left without saying goodbye.
When I thought about it afterward, I realized that I had crossed a line. Yes, Chase and I agreed that we would be friends but kisses, even the friendliest ones, would not work with us. I knew it before I even did it and yet I still wanted too.
***
I was sitting on my bed strumming my guitar when my phone rang. When I picked it up, and saw my dad’s name flashing on the screen, my heart started to flutter. We hadn’t spoken in months, being on a ship made it very difficult for him to call me, there was always a problem with the signal and he could only call me on his time off. So the only thing I had seen from him recently were a few text messages to let me know that he was okay and that he missed me.
“Dad!” I half screamed when I answered.
“Hey, baby,” he said, sounding more relieved than me. “I miss you so much, how are you?”
“I’m great, I miss you too. When are you coming home again?” I asked him.
“That’s one of the reasons I am calling, baby, the captain has redirected the ship because of some piracy issues so we might be here a little bit longer.” My heart sank hearing that and then there was a pause, a very long pause before he spoke again.
“Grace, are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
I could hear him sighing over the phone. “Grace, I don’t have much time we might lose the signal again at any moment. There is another reason why I needed to call you. I… umm…” He cleared his throat. “I received a text from your mother.” I think my heart literally stopped beating then.
“What does she want?” I snapped.
“She umm… she wants to sell the house, our house, and split the profit, she said she needs the money.”
“But that’s not fair,” I shouted. “She decided that she would leave us the house if you took care of me.”
“I know, baby, but there was no written agreement.”
He sounded tired and I felt bad for taking it out on him. I softened my tone, “So what are we going to do?” I asked.
“I told her I would speak to you, but it looks like we’re going to have to take that option. I can’t get back in time to fight her and if there is a court date and I don’t show, she might walk away with everything.”
“Dad, you can’t, we can’t let her get away with this, isn’t there anything I can do?”
“I don’t want you to get involved, I am going to ask Agatha and Chris if you can stay with her in the meantime and I will get myself a rented place until we can get back on our feet.”
“What, no,” I cried, “we’re not moving from that house.” I thought of all the hours, days my Dad and Aaron and I spent fixing that place to what it is today and I was not prepared to let that low life of a woman have it.
“Dad, tell her to meet me next week Saturday, I will sort it out.”
“Grace, I don’t want you to see her, I don’t want you to be in the position to be hurt by that woman ever again.”
“I will be fine, Dad. I have put up with her crap for years, and another day won’t hurt me—she won’t hurt me ever again. I will take Agatha and Chris with me if you want, but she is not getting a piece of our house.”
“Grace, please listen to me…”
“Dad, you’re breaking up, Dad, can you hear me?”
I could hear him very well and he probably knew I was lying, but I wasn’t going to allow him to convince me not to this. She would not win this time.
I sent my dad a text to let him know where she could meet me. When the anger died down and I processed what was about to happen, the fear of seeing her took hold of me and I broke down.
When I calmed down, I realized that I wasn’t sure if I was ready to see her, but I needed to do this for my dad…for me. I needed to speak to Aaron, he would know what to do. I called him softly and then waited but nothing, I called a bit louder this time but still nothing. I went into my room and picked up my guitar and started strumming, maybe that would bring him to me, like the last time. But a few songs later he still didn’t show. I continued with one of my favorite songs, Radiohead’s Creep and stopped halfway through, frustrated.
“Please don’t stop,” I heard a voice behind me and I quickly turned around to a wide-eyed Chase staring at me. “How long have you been standing there?” I asked him embarrassed.
“Not long enough,” he whispered… “I thought you couldn’t really play.”
“I can’t,” I said still trying to keep up that pretense.
“It sure didn’t sound like that to me; you sounded unbelievably amazing from the little I heard.”
“I’m not that good,” I said brushing passing him, angry that he wasn’t Aaron. “I’m really not in the mood to talk, so if you could please leave.”
“Grace,” he touched my arm, “don’t push me away.”
I took a deep breath, “I’m fine,” I lied unconvincingly.
He looked at me intently. “Clearly, you’re not, so what is up? I am not leaving you looking like this.”
I turned to look in the mirror, not sure what he was referring to and then I saw how red and puffy my eyes were.
“I… I don’t know what to tell you,” I said frankly.
“Just start with what’s bothering you.”
“That’s the thing,” I exhaled, “it’s complicated.”
“I’m used to complicated,” he said guiding me to the sofa.
I went to sit down, wringing my hands together.
I took a deep breath and then decided I couldn’t tell him and shook my head. “I can’t,” I said as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Grace, please let me in, you can trust me.”
I looked up into his brown eyes and saw the same thing I once saw in Aaron’s eyes. He really did care about me, but how far could I let him in, I didn’t know him as well as I knew Aaron.
Chase said nothing; he put my hands in his and waited.
“My mother left me and my dad when I was really young, about fifteen. Actually my dad threw her out because she did some really horrible things and now she is coming back and I need to go see her.”
“Why exactly did he throw her out, why would she leave you?”
“She…” I shook my head, not sure if I was ready to tell someone else what I had been through.”
He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around me and it stilled my shaking, terrified body.
After a few minutes, I moved out of his grasp and wiped away my tears. “The job she had lead her into drug use and when she could barely work anymore, she dragged me into it and made me do things that a kid my age shouldn’t be
doing.”
His eyes went wide. “Shit, Grace, I’m sorry.”
“No, I mean it wasn’t like that,” I said when I understood what he thought. “She just made me work late hours and I would miss school because I was exhausted. I nearly failed until a friend helped me out. The worst part was when I would watch her shoot up and then have to get her home without any money because she spent every cent we made. I spent my childhood working to feed her habit and fighting off men. My dad worked away at sea, so he never knew what was happening. But I eventually told him and he threw her out. She told my dad that she wants to come back and sell the house; she obviously needs the money to feed her habit.”
My tears started building behind my eyes again and Chase moved even closer.
“My dad can’t come home and I just can’t let her take everything the two of us built and my dad can’t afford to buy another house, he will have nowhere to go.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Chase asked
I stood up and went to stand at the window. “I am going to see her and see if I can talk some sense into her, but I know that it won’t go down like that.”
“When are you going?” he asked.
“I am driving down next weekend.”
“Well, you’re not going alone, I am going with you.
“You don’t have to do that, Chase, really.”
“I’m not discussing this, Grace, I am going with you.”
“Thank you,” I murmured. Now that Aaron wasn’t here to make sure that my mother didn’t manipulate me, I knew I needed someone with me. I thought of all the times Aaron told me to tell my dad and I just never could. She was my mother and I knew that my dad would kick her out and she would have nowhere to go. But he eventually gave me an ultimatum when he couldn’t stand what my mother was doing to me. He said either I told my dad or he would.
Chase held me against his warm body. “Don’t worry, Grace. I won’t let her hurt you this time,” he said.
Chapter 6
My stomach was literally turning for the rest of the week, I felt sick and I couldn’t eat anything. I wasn’t sure if I could face her, the drug addicted woman I used to call mother.
Chase came over every night and stayed late, I wasn’t really sure why he would do this for me but I was glad to have him there. The night before we were to leave, he came over with a pizza and demanded that I eat it and I obliged.
“Grace, you need to stop worrying, we will be in and out of there. Sort it out as quickly as possible.”
“Why are you doing this?” I eventually asked him. “I mean, you barely even know me. All you know about me is that I am a product of a drug addicted mother and a father who I barely see.”
“Grace, what I see when I look at you, is a beautiful girl with a pure heart. A girl who has offered all of herself to others and has yet to receive what she deserves in return. Most people our age are so self-absorbed; but not you. I need some of your goodness to rub off on me. That’s why I stick around,” he smiled.
A tear rolled down my face, I couldn’t believe that he saw that in me, even though I felt like a mess. “Thank you,” I mumbled.
“It’s the truth,” he said as he took his thumb and wiped my tear away.
He stood up and kissed my cheek. “Now get some sleep, we leave early in the morning.”
Chase was knocking at my door at the crack of dawn, but I was already up. I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep that night. He loaded our bags in his blue hatchback Ford and we took the drive home. The drive was quiet, Chase played some music from his MP3 and I realized we had the same taste in music. When we finally arrived at my house, I stared at the brick wall and decided that we arrived there too quickly. I wanted to throw up.
“So this is where you live,” Chase said as he stretched outside. “It’s strange that I live only ten minutes away and we never bumped heads.”
“Too many girls in your way,” I smiled.
Again, I received the serious look to my joke.
“Let’s go inside,” I said as I walked toward the old wooden door, which I thought I should perhaps give a coat of varnish before I went home on Sunday.
When I opened the door, the dusty smell of the uninhabited space hit me and I opened every window.
Chase walked in with bags draped over his shoulders. “Where do I put these?”
“You can leave mine there, thanks, and you can take yours to the spare room which is at the bottom of the foyer.” He walked down the long passage to the room and I went into mine which was right next to his.
I stared at the empty white walls in my bedroom. The day Aaron died; I went home and ripped all the pictures off the wall. I was angry with him, I was angry with myself and now looking at the empty space, I missed it. I walked out of the room and Chase was staring at my paintings.
“These are really good,” he said when he saw me.
“Thanks,” I smiled. “If you want to go home for a while since we’re here, I wouldn’t mind,” I told him.
“Nah,” he shook his head. “I doubt that anyone is at home, although I might just slip away this evening to get a few things there.”
“Sure.” I smiled. “Let me make us something to eat. I’m not sure what we’re going to do until tomorrow, maybe a movie?” I offered. “I have plenty of old ones in the cabinet below the TV.”
“I’ll check for one,” he said.
I went into the kitchen and decided I was not in the right frame of mind to cook. Chase walked in while I was staring at the bare kitchen cupboard.
“Need some help?” he asked.
“Actually, I forgot that this house has been empty for over a year, so there is obviously no food.”
“A year?” he asked. “You only moved to WRC a few months ago.”
“It’s complicated,” I told him and I really didn’t want to get into it right now. “I am going to order some Chinese, is that okay?”
“Sounds good,” he nodded. “We can always go to the Chinese place in town if you prefer?”
I didn’t, I knew that if I went out I might run into Agatha or Chris.
“I think I would rather stay here, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” he smiled.
I went to get my phone, and ordered Chinese from my favorite restaurant and went to join Chase on the old blue sofa. I was a ball of nerves and I was sure that Chase could sense it, but he didn’t say anything.
When the doorbell rang he stood up and paid for the food. We ate in silence while watching a black and white movie Chase had chosen and halfway through, I stood up.
“I think I need to get to bed, it’s going to be a long day tomorrow. I want to go see her as early as possible, so that we can get this over with.”
Chase reached over and put my hands in his. “It’s going to be fine Grace, you’ll see. Get some rest okay?”
“Thanks,” I tried to smile.
“Goodnight Grace.”
I went to my room and crawled into bed. I lay awake for hours listening to the muffled sounds of the TV and then I heard it click off and Chase walking past my room. I didn’t know how long after that it took me to fall asleep, but when I did I saw her standing in front of me and I was once again that vulnerable little girl. She was pulling me away from my dad and I was screaming. I woke up to Chase shaking me.
