by TJ Rudolph
“Grace! Grace! It’s only a dream,” his husky voice stilled my shaky limbs.
I looked away from him, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he told me as he brushed his hand over my arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head.
He got in beside me without invitation and we lay there silently and I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, because it reminded me of Aaron who used to do the same thing. I wanted to tell him to leave, I didn’t know him well enough to be this vulnerable, but I couldn’t. Him being there calmed me and eventually my breathing evened out and I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee drifting into my nostrils.
“You’re up,” Chase said as he walked in with a cup of coffee in his hand and gave it to me.
“Thanks,” I said sitting up and quickly pulling my disheveled hair into a bun. “What time is it?”
“Six,” he told me.
I looked outside my window and noticed it was still dark outside, it was time. After I got dressed, I gulped down half of the coffee and refused the toast Chase offered me.
We drove to the harbor where I arranged for me and Cherry to meet. Chase pulled into the parking lot and we got out. It was still early and there wasn’t a soul in site. That was the way Cherry preferred it, she was not well liked in these parts. She caused all sorts of trouble with the locals when she was high on drugs. I looked around to see where she was and then I saw her standing among the rocks, overlooking the water. Her auburn hair was loose and blowing in the breeze. I turned to Chase, “I think I should speak to her alone.”
“You sure?” he asked.
I nodded and walked toward her. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and for a moment I considered turning around and running away. “Just get it over with Grace,” I mumbled to myself.
She turned around when she heard me coming. She almost looked normal in her fitted black jeans and black jacket. Except, she had dark rings under her eyes, which was a sure sign that she was shooting up all night.
“Baby,” she smiled when she saw me and my stomach started turning again. She wrapped her arms around me but I didn’t do the same and when I felt it went on for longer than it should have, I pulled out of her arms.
“What do you want, Cherry?” I asked her.
“What? No hi, Mom, how have you been?”
“Cut the bullshit, Cherry, you’re wasting my time. Now what do you want?”
She started fidgeting with her nose. “I told you I need half of the money for the house.”
“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” I seethed.
“Look, I have the right to half of that house your dad and I bought it together,” she told me.
“The hell you do!” I half shouted at her. “You have never been there for me or Dad, you threw away your responsibility and the only good thing you ever did was leaving us that house and getting far away from us.”
“Look, baby, if it means so much to you I have a proposition for you.”
I stepped back and snorted. “I knew you wanted something else. So what is it huh, spit it out!”
“Well…. There is a big show happening tomorrow night, right here in our little town. They gave the Vive theatre a face lift and some big shot producer called me up to sing a few songs. He is offering me a good sum of money for it. So what do you say, wanna do a few songs for your mom for old times’ sake?”
“You are unbelievable, you know that,” I said through my teeth.
“Oh come on baby, remember all the good times we had together?”
She put her hand to my face and I slapped it away.
“You are a monster,” I told her trying to hold back the tears, and before I completely lost it Chase was beside me.
“Grace,” he said pulling me against him, “are you okay?”
My others eyes snapped toward Chase. “I don’t think we have met,” my mother told Chase in a sickening seductive voice. “I’m Cherry,” she held out her hand. He looked at her and I could see his eyes widening when he recognized who she was. I was hoping he wouldn’t, but who was I fooling. My mother was a legendary guitar player and singer. But if he was star struck he never showed it. He turned to me instead, “Grace are you ready to go?”
I nodded.
We walked away and I heard my mother shouting. “The show starts at seven tonight Grace, either you do this or you give me what’s mine.”
Chapter 7
When Chase and I got home I went straight to my room and slammed the door. I needed to think.
Chase gave me a few minutes before he walked in.
“Grace, what was that all about?”
“It’s nothing,” I said as I wiped away my tears. “I think you should go home, thanks for coming here with me and everything you did, but I need to do the rest on my own.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he raised his voice slightly “and I have been keeping quiet long enough. I want you to tell me right now what shit your mother wants you to be involved in.”
I sat down. The air felt like it was escaping from the room. I let Chase in too deep and now I couldn’t let him go. I took several deep breaths. She wants me to perform tonight at The Vive theatre.
“Perform?” he asked.
I went quiet.
Chase waited.
“I told you my mom let me do some things when I was growing up. It started with me performing with her. When I got older, about sixteen, she became too washed up to perform and then she let me pretend I was her. I would go on stage every night and at first only her groupies noticed, but she forced me to spend time perfecting my makeup and walking on high heels. A few months later, nobody could tell us apart. I spent two years of my life pretending to be her.
“You pretended to be Cherry D?” he asked in awe.
I nodded.
He let that sink in for a minute. “So the album Nomadic she did…?”
“Was all me,” I sighed.
He stood staring at me with his eyes wide. “Wow, Grace, that’s amazing. I mean it’s really crazy considering everything, but still truly amazing.”
I shrugged my shoulders, what was I supposed to say to that anyway.
Chase came to sit beside me and put his hands in mine. I’m sorry I was star struck for a second, but all things considered I really don’t think that it’s a good idea that you do this.”
“What else can I do, Chase? I have thought about every possible way out and there isn’t one. It’s the only way to get her off my back. I have to do this,” I sobbed.
He pulled me into his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me that Cherry D was your mother?” he asked into my hair.
I pulled out of his grasp and turned away. “It didn’t come up and I really wanted that part of my life to stay buried. I still do, so I really don’t want you with me.”
He turned me to face him, “Grace, if you think this is the only way, then I trust you are making the right decision, but I’m staying here. I am going to be by your side all the way.”
I shook my head.
“Not negotiable, Grace.”
“Fine,” I said as I stood up “I need to make some calls, if you would please excuse me.”
He walked out of my room and I shut the door. I thought about all the things I would need. I didn’t have any makeup, although I looked like my mother now, more than ever. I also needed my dress dry cleaned. I opened my closet and pulled out a sequined red dress. It swept the floor and had a deep neckline. It was the only thing of hers that I kept. It reminded me of a time when I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and I was proud that she was my mother. I put the dress into a long black bag and pulled the zip up. I prayed that I didn’t walk into Agatha or Chris on my way to the cleaners. I put on my black hoody, a black sweat pants and walked to the door. “I’ll be right back,” I told Chase.
“Where are you going?”
> “I need to get this to the dry cleaners without anyone noticing,” I told him.
“Why don’t I take it?” Chase offered.
I thought about it for a second; he had already done so much.
“I’m here to help, Grace,” he said sensing my hesitation.
“I would appreciate it,” I said handing him the bag. “Please tell Mr. Marks that it needs to be done by five.”
“Sure,” he said as he took it from me, “I’ll be back soon.”
As soon as he left I called the makeup store to order my usual supply. It was a store downtown and at least they could do deliveries. I went to my room to change back into my brown dress when I saw Aaron standing by the window. He had a look of sadness in his eyes when he looked up at me.
“Aaron!” I shrieked, “what are you doing here?”
“You know what,” he told me.” Are you really doing this?”
“What choice do I have, Aaron?” I asked sifting through my cupboard for a pair of shoes to go with the dress I would be wearing tonight.
“You always have a choice, Gracy, don’t let her continue to control your life.”
“What do you want me to do? My dad and I are going to lose our house if I don’t do this.”
“Why don’t you approach my parents?” he asked.
Of course he would say that, it was a thought that crossed my mind and was now being reiterated by a ghost I created.
“I can’t, they have done too much for me. This is not their fight.”
“Come on, Gracy,” he begged. “This is a bad idea.”
“It will be fine, I will be okay,” I told him.
“Grace, I could never change your mind once you made it up, but please be careful.”
“I will,” I promised him.
“So what’s the plan?” he asked.
“It’s at the Vive, Cherry said it was a big deal.”
“Which probably means trouble,” Aaron huffed.
I shrugged. “I’ll handle it, I always have.”
He spent a long time trying to convince me not to go through with it, but like I told Chase, my mind was made up.
We were still going back and forth when I heard the front door. “I’m back, Grace,” Chase called.
When I looked back at the space where Aaron was standing, he was gone.
Chase knocked on my room door. “Come in,” I said.
“Are you ready for tonight?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“Mr. Marks assured me that the dress would be ready by five, so I will go pick it up then and I brought some burgers, they’re in the kitchen.”
I grabbed Chase’s hand as he was about to walk out and a bolt of electricity coursed through me.
He turned and looked into my eyes. “I umm… just wanted to say thanks for everything.”
“That’s what friends are for, right?”
I smiled; disappointed that he always alluded to the fact that we were friends and nothing more.
I heard the doorbell ring and I went to answer it. My makeup had arrived. I walked with it to my room. “Are you not going to eat?” Chase asked as I walked past the kitchen.
“Let me do this first, it takes hours,” I said as I shook the box.
I sat by the mirror which was next to the window, I remembered the day Aaron put it up for me. I was lying on the bed reading a book while he drilled holes in the wall.
It took me a lot longer than usual to perfect my makeup; I hadn’t done it in years. But after redoing it three times, it finally came together.
Chase shouted that he was heading out to get the dress just before five and when he returned he left it outside my door.
I opened the door, picked up the dress from the stool and unzipped the black bag. I stared at it for a second and then I slipped it on. After I put my shoes on and a fake diamond necklace around my neck, I was ready.
I was talking myself into looking in the mirror when Chase walked in.
“Whoa,” he said, “you look exactly like her. I mean a much better version, but still.”
I turned around to look. He was right, I was almost ashamed. I looked just like the woman I spent so many years hating. And now I have to pretend to be her once again.
Chase came up behind me and gently rubbed my shoulders. “Are you going to be okay?”
I gave him a small smile. “I’ll be fine, we should get going.”
Chase pulled up to the back entrance of the Vive and opened the door for me. I quickly ran inside with him following close behind. I found Cherry looming in a dark corner behind the stage and she pulled me to one side when she saw me. She wore a blonde wig and over-sized glasses.
“Baby, you look beautiful,” she cooed. “Thanks for doing this for me.”
“I’m not doing this for you, Cherry,” I said her name bitterly. It reminded me of the day she told me I wasn’t to call her mother or by her birth name, Gloria.
“Look baby, Jerry is going to be here soon and he will be watching, so you have to give your best performance.”
My body chilled when she said that name. Jerry was the ruthless thug producer that put my mother in hospital more than once, after she couldn’t perform. He was also the one who gave my mother her first taste of the drugs she became addicted too.
“Jerry is here?” I shuddered.
“It’s his show, baby.”
“What the hell, Cherry? Why are you involved with Jerry?” I said shaking like a leaf.
“I owe him some money and he said that I could pay him off if I bring the house down tonight, which I have no doubt you will, baby.”
“You are a lying, manipulative piece of shit, Cherry, you knew I wouldn’t do this if he was involved.”
“Come now, baby, don’t speak to your mother like that.”
Chase watched us speaking in hushed tones a few feet away. I didn’t want him to know about Jerry and his goons.
“Let’s just get this over with,” I said through gritted teeth.
I took one last look in the mirror as I heard people chanting her name. I saw my mother retreating into the same dark corner as the sound of footsteps came near us. I looked around and my heart started pounding madly when I saw Jerry walking toward me. He was a huge man and he towered over me. His goons walking behind him weren’t any smaller and they made the stage area seem a lot smaller than it was.
“Jerry, baby,” I sneered, giving my best impression of my mother and lifting my chin when he stood in front of me. He said nothing as he took off his black glasses and raked his eyes over me for a few minutes.
“Something you needed, Jerry? I’m about to go on.”
He shook his head and from the corner of my eye, I saw Chase moving closer.
“What the fuck is this, Grace? Where is that good for nothing mother of yours!” His voice was gruff and angry.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jerry baby,” I said trying to keep my composure.
“Stop with this game, Grace or you’re next, where is that bitch!”
“I’m here,” my mother said moving forward.
