Crazy Dreams

by Dawn Pendleton

  “Shut up, you know what I mean. You look good. Healthy,” Gabby explained.

  “You do look really good, actually. I think maybe you’ve found what you’re supposed to do with your life. What does your mom say?” Mallory asked.

  “Ugh. Don’t get me started,” I protested.

  My mother was the one person who hated my choice to sing. She warned me that she wouldn’t pay for college, that I was going to fail, and that my life was going to turn into one big orgy with drugs and sexual diseases at my concerts. I listened to her entire tirade, let her go on and on about how my life was going down the tubes, how I’d never amount to anything, and how the guy I was with would end up screwing me over for another woman, as soon as someone better came along. Then I politely told her to go to hell.

  It was a moment I’d remember for the rest of my life. In nineteen years, I’d never seen my mother rendered speechless, but I’d done it. She simply said a curt goodbye and hung up. We hadn’t spoken since. That was three weeks ago.

  I was all signed up for online classes, which made traveling so much easier, not to mention, I planned to do ninety percent of my workload during travel, when we were flying and whatnot. Our lives were simply falling together and nothing was falling apart.

  We ordered dinner, a huge spread of almost everything the kitchen had to offer. As we stuffed ourselves, the conversation moved back to my career.

  “Have you thought about going solo?” Mallory asked, chomping on a piece of pizza. “Your voice is great and you could totally do it.”

  Why is everyone trying to get me to go solo? I wanted to sing with Stone, not by myself. “No,” I said then lowered my voice. “But I did actually get an offer to do that. I’m not going to take it.”

  “What?” Gabby asked. “If it’s being offered to you, then they realize your potential. They know how good you are. You don’t need Stone to make your career.”

  I took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. Stone is the one who got me into this business. Yes, they’re offering me more money, a better deal overall, and pretty much anything I want.”

  “More money? Why aren’t you all over this?” Mallory interjected.

  Gabby nodded. “Seems like you could easily move on to bigger and better things without him.”

  “You guys don’t understand,” I started. “I owe him. He brought me with him on this journey, which means I should stand by him.” It wasn’t the truth of how I felt, but I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to declare my love for him so publicly, even to the girls I trusted more than anyone.

  “You don’t owe him anything, Ember. There’s nothing wrong with using his help to further your own career,” Mallory said.

  “No, that’s not what I’ve been doing. I wouldn’t even have a career if it weren’t for him. He’s not someone I want to screw over.”

  “Is there something going on between you two?” Gabby questioned.

  I sighed. Looked like I’d have no choice but to tell them the truth. “I’m in love with him.”

  They both looked at me like I was crazy. Then she glanced at one another. Mallory spoke first.

  “You aren’t in love with him,” she challenged. “You’ve spent a lot of time with him the last few weeks, getting to know him. It’s only natural you think you’re in love, but it’s more like Stockholm Syndrome.”

  “Umm, no. He didn’t kidnap me and hold me against my will. What the hell? I am absolutely, one hundred percent in love with Stone. Every fiber of my being screams for him when we’re apart, hungers for his touch when he’s near, and I am not victim to some stupid syndrome. I can’t believe you guys don’t think I’m capable of choosing someone to fall in love with.” I was pissed. My love for Stone was as real as theirs for their own husbands.

  Gabby had the decency to look shamed. “We’re sorry, Ember. We didn’t realize things had happened so fast with the two of you.”

  “It’s not a matter of how fast things moved. Whether it’s been a week or a year, when I say I love him, I mean it. I’m not some stupid little high school girl, falling in love with the first guy to pay attention to me. In case you didn’t notice, I’ve been a model for years, which means I’m actually very accustomed to having men want me. With Stone, it was different. He tried so hard to stay away from me, to keep our feelings for one another at bay. He wanted more than just a tumble in the hay, and so did I. We were in a serious, committed relationship.

  I was so sure these women would relate, since they both fell in love when they were even younger than me.

  “Ember, it’s not that we don’t understand,” Mallory said. “In fact, I think Gab and I understand better than anyone. But we’ve been where you are, thinking you’re in love with someone. He seems perfect, but chances are, he’s not. And one day, he’s going to hurt you. You just need to prepare yourself.”

  What is she saying? “So I should guard my heart because there’s a chance Stone might break it. You aren’t listening,” I whined. “I don’t have a choice but to love him. I can’t help that I’ve fallen so deeply in love with him. And if he does break my heart, as you’re suggesting, I guess I’ll get over it.”

  I doubted Stone would ever break my heart, though. He was too much of a good man.

  Twenty-Seven

  Stone

  “You guys don’t understand. I owe him.”

  I walked away from the door, out of the suite and didn’t stop until the doorman hailed me a cab. I’d definitely heard enough. She got offered a solo contract and didn’t even tell me. That must have been what Emily’s call was about. I wondered how long she’d been trying to get out on her own while we recorded music together.

  It didn’t matter. At least, that’s what I told myself. Obviously, I was the one riding her coat-tails, going along with her on the tour, when the studio really only wanted her. It was infuriating. How could I have been so blind? I needed to get the hell out of town, away from the people on tour and definitely away from Ember. She was using me, it seemed. I wanted nothing more than to tell her off, accuse her of pretending to love me. Instead, I swallowed my damaged pride and left town.

  I purchased my plane ticket at Logan Airport and then waited for the plane. I picked up my phone and called Emily.

  “Stone! It’s so good to hear from you. How’s Boston?” she asked, as if my whole career wasn’t one big lie.

  “Cut the crap, Emily. I know about Ember’s solo contract.”

  Silence.

  “I just want to know if I can break my contract now… I don’t want fines out the ass, either. You guys want her, she’s all yours.”

  “Umm, yes, I believe we can break your contract quite easily, since Ember will be staying on with us. You’ve already received your advance, you just won’t see another paycheck from us,” she explained. I could hear her shuffling papers.

  “That’s fine. Whatever paperwork you’ve got, just send it to my home address. I’m headed back to Nashville now.”

  “Of course. It’s been great working with you,” she started.

  “Whatever.” It was childish, but I hung up on her. I didn’t want to deal with her or anyone in the business ever again.

  One taste at being a country singer and it ruined everything I thought I knew and loved about the music industry. I’d never go back to that lifestyle, no matter what. It didn’t matter that I loved what I did, that the love of my life used me so easily, or that I was heartbroken by her betrayal. What did matter was that I was over it. I didn’t need Ember in my life to make me happy. I’d been just fine before she came along, and I would be fine without her again.

  Last night, she told me she loved me for the first time. Today, she betrayed me so thoroughly I could hardly see straight, I was so angry.

  Earlier, I went down to the bar and met up with my friend Kade, who happened to be in Boston on business. He was a down to earth guy and it was nice to catch up with him. He got called away to some important meeting, so I wandered back upstairs, careful to
be quiet so I didn’t disturb the girl talk going on in Ember’s room. I knew she hadn’t told them about us, so even though I was jealous she chose the other bedroom, I didn’t mind so much. When she was ready, she’d tell them. I’d been about to announce my presence when I heard her say she got offered a solo contract. I stood there, listening to the conversation for a minute, never letting them know I was there.

  And the Mallory and Gabby encouraged her to fuck me over. They actually told her she should take the solo deal and look out for herself. As angry as I was, even I had to admit they might have been right. I spent six months in Nashville and never got so much as a bar manager to tell me I did a great job until Ember came along. She made my career.

  Maybe I owed it to her to let her do it. She was the one with the better voice, the hotter body, and the natural charisma. And then she said she owed me. It was like an explosion went off in my head, taking everything I thought I knew and twisting it upside down. Suddenly, instead of us being in it together, it was as if I was just tagging along for the ride, like a little brother who refused to take no for an answer.

  The recording company obviously wanted her alone, so why did I even bother to go? I knew the reason. I was in love with her. I was so blinded by how much I cared about her, I couldn’t see that everyone was using me to get to her. They probably wanted her from the start, but they knew she wouldn’t accept, not when I was the one who brought her into it. Now, of course, they had their edge.

  She could accept the new contract and go on her merry way without me, now that I was out of the picture. As much as I hated to admit it, it was probably for the best. Maybe being a country star had been my dream once, but now, it felt like the very last thing I wanted. In fact, at the moment, I didn’t want anything: not a music career, not my own concert, not even Ember.

  My heart ached. There was a dull hollow in the place where once my love for her had once grown. I knew I was alone, and chances were, I’d keep it that way. Women were far too devious for my liking.

  The overhead PA system announced my flight was boarding, so I got up, without even a single bag to my name, and left Boston, and Ember, for good.

  Twenty-Eight

  Ember

  It was after midnight by the time Mallory and Gabby went to their own room a few floors down. I was exhausted, but as soon as I closed the door behind them, I was excited, just thinking about making love to Stone again. I locked the door after them and then ran into his room, ready to pounce.

  To my surprise, he was nowhere to be found. I figured he’d come in at some point and just went to bed, but he didn’t. I went through his luggage, found one of his t-shirts, which was far too big, but smelled like him and put it on. Then I crawled into his bed and hoped he would wake me up when he came in.

  * * * * *

  Sunlight poured into the room.

  “Ugh, Stone, will you close the shade?” I asked.

  When I got no reply, I forced my eyes open. I was alone in the king bed. Maybe he’s already up, I thought. I got out of bed and searched the room, wearing nothing but his t-shirt. He wasn’t in the suite. Both bathrooms were empty, just like the rest of the suite.

  I found my phone in my room and when I picked it up, I had seven missed calls from Emily. I was just about to call her back when a knock sounded on the door. Oh no, I thought, maybe Stone forgot his key!

  I ran to the door, forgetting all about Emily’s missed calls and pulled the door open. Emily was standing there, impatient as always in her suit.

  “Where have you been?” she muttered, pushing past me into the room.

  “I was asleep…” I said, as if that was obvious. “Actually, have you heard from Stone? I can’t find him.”

  “He’s gone.” She set her briefcase down on the small coffee table in the living area. She shuffled some papers around inside the case.

  “What do you mean, he’s gone? He can’t be gone. We have a show tonight!” I informed her, though I realized after I said it, she probably already knew that.

  “Yes, well. Stone has requested to break his contract and is currently on his way back home to Tennessee.” Her voice was clipped, irritated.

  “Does that mean my contract is voided, too?”

  “Yes. But we’ve already drawn up a new contract for you, just like we talked about yesterday. I’ll leave it with you to sign at your leisure. I’m sure you’ll want a lawyer to take a look at it first. If you could get it to us by the end of the week, we’d appreciated that. In the meantime, your old contract covers your concert tonight, and since Stone has broken his, you’ll receive his portion of ticket sales, as well. It’ll be over ten thousand, just for tonight.”

  “What?” I was still reeling. Talk about information overload.

  “The payout for tonight will be over ten thousand. Please pay attention, Ember. The venue is sold out, which means you get a hefty sum. I’ve got to go meet with another client, so I’ll leave the paperwork with you. Let me know if you need anything, and a limo will be downstairs to pick you up and take you to the venue at four. Your hair and makeup will be done there, as well as your wardrobe provided, so just make sure your hair is clean and dry with no product in it.” She stood up, gathering her things and then handed me my new contract. “Good luck tonight.” Then she was gone.

  I sat down on the couch, my fingers still gripping the contract. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Stone left me. All those promises and he left as soon as he could. Why did he break the contract? Was he sick of me? We’d spent most of the summer together already, but the more pressing thing on my mind was that I’d finally given him what he wanted: sex.

  He didn’t seem like the type to plat the whole one-night stand game, but then, what the hell did I know? Mallory and Gabby were right. I needed to look out for myself, to put me first instead of a guy who, apparently, could just walk away after we admitted our love for one another. I guessed it was fake, on his part, even though it was devastatingly real for me.

  I rubbed my chest; my heart was breaking at thought of Stone using me. I thought it was real, thought he actually loved me. And his leaving only proved he’d been after one thing. What did surprise me was the fact that he lied about wanting a country career. He hadn’t known I could sing before he met me, so it looked like he actually wanted a singing career. Instead, he left me and his career in the dust, not once looking back.

  I crawled back into bed, his shirt and his smell surrounding me while I cried. I hated myself for being so weak, for still loving him, but there was nothing I could do to rid myself of the pain and emptiness his leaving caused.

  The tears fell until I couldn’t cry anymore; my body was dried out and finally, I got up out of bed and took a shower. The water was relaxing, but I could hardly enjoy it as I remembered the shower I’d taken yesterday with Stone. We’d pleasured each other the max, drawing out one another’s pleasure and then guiding each other over the crest. I missed him already.

  I shook myself under showerhead. I needed to pull myself together. If Stone was moving on, I could, too. In fact, I’d make sure I stole the show. No more being content to sit in the background while he got all the fans and glory. I was taking control, and that meant I needed to be a hell of a lot stronger than I was. I just had to fake it until it became my reality.

  I arrived in style to the concert, the stretch limo seemingly endless. Bodyguards surrounded me as I got out, though there wasn’t a single fan around. I laughed it off as the guards led me into the venue and directed me to my dressing room. The room was huge, much more elegant than the room in Chattanooga. I barely had time to look around than there was a knock at the door and a tiny woman entered without waiting for a reply. She carried a huge leather bag on her arm.

  “I’m Melanie,” she introduced herself. “I’ll be doing your hair and makeup, and then I’ll take you over to the costume room to pick out your outfit. If you could have a seat.” She directed me to the chair and vanity at the
far corner of the room. The chair built like a one at a salon, and Melanie wasted no time at all getting to work.

  When she finished, I hardly recognized myself. I was loaded with makeup, and although I protested, Melanie overruled me.

  “The lights are harsh on your face, dear. You don’t want your skin to look anything but perfect on stage. You can take it all off as soon as you leave the stage,” she explained.

  I wasn’t keen on so much makeup, but I had to admit I didn’t look half bad. Someone who didn’t know me probably wouldn’t even be able to tell I had so much makeup on. My hair looked outstanding, too. My blonde locks had been curled and primped, the waves tousled until they settled perfectly on my shoulders. I didn’t look like me, but I looked hot.

  Melanie led me to the wardrobe room and I was amazed by the sheer volume of clothes. From sparkles to sequins, prints to solids, nearly every item in the room was amazing.

  “You’re a four, right?” Melanie asked, leading me to section with the number four labeling it.

  “That’s right,” I agreed, fingering the fabrics that hung on the rod in front of me.

  “Great. You can choose any four outfits from this rack.”

  She started to turn away but I stopped her. “Four? Why four?”

  “You’ll be singing eight songs with four dress changes. Didn’t anyone tell you?”

  “Uhh, no. I only have four songs,” I added, suddenly pissed that my performance wasn’t going as planned.

  “Oh, Lord. I’ll get Emily down to your dressing room as soon as I can. In the meantime, pick out your outfits. See you later,” she said. Then she was gone, whisking herself away to another client, no doubt.

  I stared at the clothes for a few minutes before digging in. Clothes, I could handle.

  An hour later, Emily had explained everything. Since Stone was no longer a part of the show, they were giving me a full hour with my set. Of course, that meant I didn’t have enough songs. So we added a few covers. Luckily, the songs were all ones I was extremely comfortable with, knew the words to, and loved. I practiced with the band, fully dressed, for an hour. Most of the songs were on the slower side, but there was one or two that had an upbeat tempo.