Crazy Dreams

by Dawn Pendleton

  When they finally called me on stage, I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself for the most kick-ass show of my life. I wanted to prove I could do it without Stone. He deserved it, too. I planned on becoming successful and a highly raved about artist, while he just watched in the wings. I’d show him.

  Twenty-Nine

  Stone

  Delayed for nearly twenty-four hours. Yesterday had been a nightmare, and today was no better. I was so sick of everything. I was in a bar at the airport, waiting impatiently for my connecting flight. I could have driven, since I was only eight hours away from Nashville, but I really wanted to drink. And sulk.

  Of course, the concert was on the TV at the bar, and when Ember walked out on stage in an elegant purple gown, several of the guys in the bar turned their attention to her. One guy even whistled.

  “That’s Ember Daniels,” one of them said to the bartender. “She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.”

  One of the guys at a table behind him scoffed. “She’s just a wannabe.”

  I ignored them all, my eyes focused on the gorgeous blonde stealing the show. She was amazing, captivating everyone in the stands and all those in the bar, as well. It was something to watch. I’d been holding her back, it seemed. She certainly came right out of her shell, enticing the crowd and giving them one hell of a show. When she was finished, the response she got was amazing. People loved her.

  She deserved it, though. As angry as I was that she’d done it to me, pushed me out instead of coming to me, I was happy for her success. I still loved her. Unfortunately, I didn’t imagine that was going to change any time soon. It was still too raw, too fresh for me to even think about not loving her. She was my forever. Was.

  The loudspeaker announced my flight was finally almost ready to board, so I finished up my beer, paid my tab, and made my way to the end of the terminal. The plane was in the air in no time, and as much as I would’ve liked to sleep, I couldn’t get thoughts of Ember out of my head.

  I didn’t actually believe she would go on stage without me. Not really. I hoped it was all some big misunderstanding and that she would call me, begging me to listen to her side of the story. It was a nice tale, but couldn’t have been farther from the truth. She wanted to be alone. She used me to get what she wanted, and she made damn sure I’d have nothing left when it ended.

  Mission accomplished. I saluted her ambition, even if her execution left something to be desired. I was also wildly jealous, although even I knew I would never admit that to another living soul. She was living my dream. Mine. She never wanted to be a singer. At least, not that I knew of. But who knew… Maybe it was all some epic ploy. She might have even gotten Dallas in it, since he knew of my efforts to get into the music business.

  Who was I kidding? She was a better singer, better performer, better artist in general than I was. She deserved all the success. She was a skilled opponent, going after what she wanted, and she had the backing to get it. I had to give her credit for that, at least.

  Didn’t change the fact that I was trying to hate her for it. The line between love and hate was so thin; I never realized how closely the two emotions were related before.

  I ordered a beer, desperate to drown my sorrows, or at least cover them up for a while. The stewardess was a pretty young woman with legs that went on and on. I was vaguely reminded of Ember’s legs and how tight they gripped my hips while I fucked her. I’d never have that chance again.

  I managed to take a nap after my beer on the plane. It was a quick one, but it made the time pass faster, and when we landed, I turned my phone back on. I had a text from Ember, which surprised me.

  Ember: You didn’t think I could do it, did you? I guess I proved you wrong.

  The words stung, but not near as much as the attitude did. She was turning out to be everything I wished she wasn’t. Her vindictive words left me without any reasonable way to reply, so I just deleted the message, got off the plane and decided to head home, where at least I’d be able to get some peace.

  Thirty

  Ember

  I never heard back from the text I sent Stone. It showed me on my phone that he read it, but he didn’t even have the decency to reply. Men. I waited for to him to reply, for us to talk again, but he couldn’t even be bothered. It irked me, but I tried to make myself let it go. He’s not worth your time, I told myself.

  The problem was, I didn’t believe it. He was worth it. He left me, though. He was the one who walked away, the one who decided he couldn’t even tell me the truth of how he felt to my face. It was infuriating.

  It was Labor Day weekend, the tour was going great, and I was quickly becoming a known name. Heaven Sent was dead, and the fans loved Ember Daniels. It didn’t feel real at all. Of course, I let them change me a bit in the weeks that I’d been running as a solo artist. The heavy makeup they forced me to wear at shows became my public face. People hardly recognized me without all the makeup, so when I went out in public, I had to keep my fake face on for fans. No one liked to be seen without their makeup, according to Emily.

  I discovered that my idea of fashion was totally different from the people who dressed me. I was no longer allowed to choose my own outfits, which really didn’t matter to me anymore. After Stone left, I was a shell of myself. I let the people running the show run my life, down to what I wore every time I went in public, even if I was just going out for a jog.

  I missed the way things were before the whole thing started. I had a body guard outside my door, and more than anything, I wanted to get away, even for just a few minutes. I went into the bathroom, removed all my makeup, and then dressed in an old pair of jeans and one of my favorite tank tops. I no longer looked like Ember Daniels, country music rising star. Instead, I just looked like plain ‘ole Ember from Maine.

  I ducked out of my room, paid the body guard an ungodly amount of money to stay put. I convinced him by arguing that no one would even recognize me, let alone try to mob me. He took one look at my ratty jeans and agreed, letting me go on my way.

  I slipped down to the hotel bar, where I was served alcohol. They never even checked my ID, which worked out in my favor. A man about six or eight years older than me sat down beside me, offered to buy me a drink and I accepted.

  “I’m Drew,” he introduced himself.

  “E,” I said, barely remembering not to say my real name.

  “E?”

  “Yeah, it’s what my friends call me.”

  He smiled. “Well then, I’m happy to meet you, E. What brings you to Charleston?”

  I thought for a second, deciding to go with the truth. “I’m here for the big country concert. How did you know I’m not from around here?”

  “Makes sense. You’re alone, in a hotel bar, in the middle of a busy city. I just made the assumption. Not to mention you’ve got a Yankee accent. How long are you sticking around?”

  He was cute enough, with light brown hair and brown eyes. I should feel something, anything, about him, but instead, I found my thoughts straying to Stone, wondering what he was doing back in Nashville. Did he take that camping trip we’d been planning? Was he happy? I couldn’t force myself to stop thinking about him.

  “Are you single?” Drew asked. He was more forward than I imagined he would be. I was willing to bet he thought I was already drunk and lonely.

  “Yeah,” I answered, my voice void of emotion.

  He grinned. “That makes me very happy.” He slid his arm around the back of my barstool, his fingers tugging lightly on my hair.

  I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. Men had one-night stands all the time. There was no shame in me doing it. Right?

  “It makes me happy, too,” I said, leaning into his touch. His hand went up to my neck, gently massaging it. It felt good, I couldn’t lie, but it didn’t feel right. In my head, I imagined it was Stone’s hand touching me. I closed my eyes and there he was, all brawn and chiseled muscles, his blue-green eyes staring into mine. He loved me again, wan
ted me to come back to him. Lips touched mine and I responded, opening my mouth while I kept my eyes closed, still seeing Stone.

  After a few minutes of kissing, Drew pulled away. “Let’s go back to my room.”

  As much as I thought I might want to, I knew I’d never be able to go through with it. I wanted Stone, not this guy. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. “I’m sorry, Drew, I can’t do that.”

  His dark eyes flashed. “So you’re just going to get me hard and turn me down? What the fuck?”

  I flinched at his words. I was nothing more than a cocktease in his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I actually just got out of a very complicated relationship. I thought I might be able to do this, but I just can’t.”

  He let out a sigh. “I get it. Well, nice meeting you.” He got up, taking his drink to a booth in the back where two ladies sat alone.

  I had to laugh at his perseverance. He wanted to get laid and wasn’t going to stop until he did. I chuckled as I finished up my drink. I ordered another and thought about Stone some more. He was the center of my life, unfortunately. Every thought I had had something to do with him, something to do with something he’d said to me, or something I felt about him.

  I wanted to forget him. Lord knows I tried. But he had dug his way into my heart and made camp, refusing to leave. I was feeling buzzed and pulled my phone out. I wanted to text him, but instead, I opened up Facebook to stalk him a little. To my surprise, we were no longer friends. It had been a week or two since I’d even opened social media, so I had no idea when he unfriended me. I felt deflated, like he was distancing himself from me as much as he could. Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to fall.

  I blinked them away as I scrolled through his profile. He was moving on. In fact, he had just checked into the bar where he and I sang our first set together. The status said he was getting drunk. My shoulders slumped. He was having a blast in his new life while I was still hanging on to our old life. I missed him like crazy.

  Living the country star dreams wasn’t as fulfilling as I imagined it would be, especially not when I didn’t have him to share it with. I downed the rest of my drink, left a tip for the bartender and went back to my room, so I could properly feel sorry for myself and let the tears flow.

  Thirty-One

  Stone

  I was barely living. Last night, I spent hours at the bar, trying to erase the pain she caused me. I liked to blame her, but the truth was, I was responsible. I should have called her out. Maybe we would have been able to work things out, maybe then I wouldn’t be miserable. It was too late now. She was living the high life while I suffered.

  My life was a mess. I was back to working for the magazine company, though I only did the bare minimum to keep my apartment. I didn’t want to move back in with Dallas, and I knew he didn’t want me back, especially after Ember and I broke up.

  I was sitting in my living room, sipping a vodka and cranberry, in nothing but my boxers when the doorbell rang.

  I got up to answer it, not even caring that I was one article of clothing away from being naked. It didn’t matter.

  “Hey, Stone,” Dallas greeted me and then looked down. “Jeez, man, will you put on some pants?”

  I stepped away from the door, not bothering to invite him in. “What’s the point?”

  “The point is,” he answered, stepping over the mess in the entryway, “that you’ll at least look like a decent human being. What the hell is the matter with you?”

  “Didn’t Ember tell you?”

  He sat on the chair next to the couch. “She’s not telling me anything. She’s ignored every call, every text for the last few weeks. When I saw her on stage alone, I figured something happened.”

  “I figured she would have told you how awful I am,” I muttered, taking another swig of my drink.

  “She’s not like that,” Dallas defended her.

  I glared at him. “You don’t know what she’s like or what she’s capable of.”

  “Will you fucking tell me what happened already? Christ, this is driving me nuts!”

  I pondered whether or not to tell him for a minute and then decided to tell him everything. “Ember got offered a solo contract. And she agreed to take out. I bailed out before they could fire me. End of story.” It was the Reader’s Digest version.

  “Wait. She took the contract? She never even wanted to be in show business,” Dallas scoffed.

  “I guess she changed her mind.”

  “That doesn’t sound like Ember at all.” He sounded incredulous.

  “I would’ve said the same thing a month ago. But I heard her talking to Mallory and Gabby myself. And they encouraged her to ditch me, to go after what she wanted.”

  He leaned back in the chair, thoughtful. “It just doesn’t make any sense. The two of you were dating, you were great together, and you were both doing something that made you happy. Why would she do that to you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yes, thank you for that run-down of my life. And now I’m miserable while she lives out my dream. Life’s a bitch, huh?”

  “Are you sure that’s what happened? I feel like there’s something missing.”

  “The proof is in her actions, Dallas. She’s not exactly blowing up my phone with calls and texts. I think the worst part is that I told her I loved her.”

  His eyes widened. “You did?”

  “Yeah,” I laughed. “She took that love and squashed it, though.”

  “So you’re saying you don’t love her anymore?” He seemed far too curious about it for my liking, but what did I care?

  “No. I can’t exactly turn it off like that. I’m still madly in love with her. But it’s over. And someday, I’ll move on. Maybe…”

  “This is a really shitty situation. Obviously, she’s my sister, kind of, and I should stick up for her, but if she did what you say she did, I can’t exactly blame you for leaving. I would have done the same thing. I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice laced with disbelief.

  I had trouble believing it, too, some days. She was far too sweet and innocent to be so deceiving. I was a fool for falling for her.

  “If you’re done, I’d like to be left alone,” I grumbled when he stuck around.

  He nodded. “Listen, you’re a good guy, Stone. The right girl will come along and you’ll forget about Ember. Don’t let this one instance ruin you for love.”

  “Are you kidding me? You’re a huge playboy and you’re telling me not be so skeptical of love? Are you seeing someone?” I asked.

  His cheeks turned red. “Yeah.”

  “No shit. Someone finally wrangled Texas?” It was a nickname he told me about once, one his college buddies gave him. Apparently, there were a lot of ways to take the nickname, but I focused on the relativity to his name and not the size of the Lonestar State or his dick.

  He laughed. “Kind of. It’s been one hell of a summer.”

  “You can say that again,” I agreed.

  “Maybe I should talk to her,” he suggested, changing the subject back to Ember and me .

  “No! It’s over. She’s made her choice,” I told him.

  “But maybe she doesn’t realize –”

  “Dallas. Stop. She chose the industry over me. I’m not going to put up a fight. She’s made her choice.”

  “Alright. Well, I’ll let you get back to wallowing in self-pity,” he said with a laugh.

  “Fuck you.”

  “It’s good to know you’ve got at least a little spirit left. I’ll see you soon,” he said and then ducked out before I could throw him out.

  Labor Day weekend was a holiday I wasn’t going to enjoy. I just wanted to skip ahead to when my heart no longer hurt.

  Thirty-Two

  Ember

  I woke up on Saturday to an odd text.

  Dallas: You need to call me. It’s urgent.

  I sat up, still barely awake and dialed his number. He answered on the first ring.

  “Hey, I’m glad you called. I find it a li
ttle upsetting that the only way to get you to call me back is to tell you it’s urgent.”

  “Is something actually wrong?” I asked, pushing my hair off my shoulder.

  “No.”

  “Then why the hell did you have me call you?”

  “Uhh, I miss you?” he said and I could hear the grin in his voice.

  “What do you want, Dallas?”

  He paused. “I talked to Stone last night.”

  “Ugh. Don’t even mention him to me. I want nothing to do with him. He left me, alone, in a city I barely know, and he didn’t even bother to tell me that he was leaving, or why. He abandoned me and his dream.”

  Dallas took a deep breath. “Actually, he didn’t.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “I’ll explain, but I need you to promise to let me finish, okay?”

  “Sure,” I agreed. I didn’t really want to listen, but I knew he’d bug me until I did, so it was better for me to just listen first. I could always hang up on him later, if I needed to.

  “First of all, when you got offered the solo contract, you should have talked to Stone about it. He probably would have been happy for you. It’s bullshit that he had to hear it from you telling Mal and Gabby. I’ll have a completely separate chat with them later, but for now, Stone should have been the first person you told. And since when do you want a country career? Stone’s been working toward that future for the better part of his life and you waltz in, join him and then steal it away like some common thief. What the hell?”

  “Stone overheard us talking about the contract?”

  “I told you not to interrupt,” Dallas continued, his voice menacing. “Yeah, he heard you. So he sacrificed everything he’d worked so hard to achieve because he thought you wanted it. He gave up his lifelong dream because he loves you. I’ve never met anyone as stupid as he is for giving it you. Except for maybe you, for actually taking it. He told me you loved him. Is that how you treat someone you love? You just let them walk away without any explanations ? Didn’t you wonder where the hell he was? He said he never told you he was leaving.”