Crazy Dreams

by Dawn Pendleton

  I remained silent.

  “Well?”

  “Can I talk now?” At his hum of approval, I continued. “I didn’t know he overheard us. And actually, I declined their pushes to go for the contract. He probably didn’t hear that part, of course. My agent told me he quit. I figured if he had wanted to say goodbye, he probably would have.”

  “He told me he didn’t want to quit until he knew you were going to do the solo thing without him.”

  It was bad. The web of miscommunications and assumptions was wide and intricate. A plan to fix it formed in my mind, to make things better, but it was going to take a huge effort on my part. I couldn’t believe I’d let things go this far. All I wanted was to hug him, to tell him I was wrong and beg his forgiveness.

  “I need to fix this. I’m coming home.” It was an impulse decision, but I knew what I had to do.

  “What, to Maine?”

  “No. To Nashville. It became my home this summer, but more importantly, home is with Stone. And I hate being away from him. Just don’t tell him, okay?”

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he protested.

  “Dallas, please. I need to do this. I don’t care at all about this business. The only reason I stayed was to piss him off. I guess that plan worked. But now I have to win him back. I need to prove to him that what he heard isn’t the whole story, and that I never would have done that to him.”

  “Alright. But don’t you have a show tonight?”

  “I do. I’m walking away.”

  * * * * *

  After a lengthy phone call with Emily, I finally had my answers. She admitted to lying to me. They’d already lost Stone, the company wanted to be sure they didn’t lose me, too.

  “That’s too bad, Emily. Because I quit.”

  “Ember, no! You don’t mean that. Breaking your contract will cost you money. Can you really afford to pay all of it back plus fees and fines?”

  “I won’t pay a thing. And if I get a single bill, you better believe I’ll be calling the VP and telling him all about how you lied to me and Stone, how you broke us up because you’re a conniving bitch. If you care one whit about your job, you’ll leave me the hell alone, Emily. I never want to hear from you again.”

  I hung up, feeling more satisfied than I had in weeks. Finally, I was going to clear things up between Stone and me. We were going to be together again, I could feel it.

  Thirty-Three

  Stone

  Dallas’s impromptu visit was a wake-up call. I needed to get the hell over Ember. Whatever it took. I took a shower, dressed in clean clothes, and went to a bar down the block from me. I ordered a drink but didn’t even sip it. In the far corner, a beautiful woman sat alone, drinking a glass of wine.

  I approached her, asked to join her, and she accepted. She was very pretty, with red hair and blue eyes, but as we chatted, I knew it was going nowhere. After a few painful minutes of conversation, she figured out who I was.

  “Aren’t you the guy from Heaven Sent?”

  I almost choked on my drink. “Yes, I am, actually.”

  “You’re hot.”

  I had to get the hell out of there. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” The woman didn’t seem upset by my words at all, which meant she didn’t even care. It was all for the better.

  I wasn’t ready to move on, not yet. As much as my brain wanted to, my heart was still securely wrapped around Ember’s finger.

  I made my way back home, walking a few extra blocks to try to clear my head. I was depressed, I knew. It killed me to admit it, to actually confess that Ember had that kind of power over me. It was the truth, unfortunately. Her hold on me, as much as she might not want me anymore, was real. My love for her was demanding her, desperate to hold on to her like a vice grip, keeping thoughts of her close and prominent in my mind.

  I hadn’t been able to write any music since I left Boston. I had hoped, with time, I’d get back to who I was before, when lyrics came to me like air. But since I got home: nothing. I was in the worst slump of my life.

  I’d sit in my living room for hours, strumming my guitar, willing a new song to come into my head, but it never did. And whenever my fingers started to play a song, it killed me that it was Her Smile, every single time. Of course, it always cause my heart to tighten in agony. I spent more than my fair share of nights on the verge of tears.

  I finally made it back to my apartment, thinking I’d pass out and sleep it off. The universe had other plans.

  “Baker?” I asked when I saw him. He walked up the path to my apartment with me.

  “Where were you?” Baker asked.

  It was going to be awkward if I told him the truth. “I took a walk.”

  “You smell like women’s perfume. And that sure as shit isn’t Ember’s scent,” h e accused, glaring at me.

  I was caught. “I went to the bar, ok? Don’t kill me.” I unlocked my door and let us in.

  Baker took a look around and his face distorted in disgust. “What the hell? You can’t even take care of yourself without her?”

  I wanted to ignore him, to just go crawl into my bed and forget he was there, especially since his words were a harsh truth to swallow. He was right, of course. Before I met Ember, I was a neat freak; I couldn’t deal with any kind of mess at all. And now… I didn’t care that dishes piled up in the sink or that there was a pile of dirty clothes in the middle of the dining room floor. What does it matter? I justified my behavior, convincing myself I wasn’t in a relationship anymore and that no woman would have me anyway.

  It wasn’t logical, but it was something.

  “Don’t start with me,” I muttered, absently picking up my apartment. I loaded the dishwasher and Baker helped clean the kitchen, wiping down the counters.

  “Pull yourself together, man,” he replied. It was a harsh reality to face when I came face-to-face with a man who lost the love of his life to cancer and still managed to function like a normal human being, while I was a mess.

  I rubbed my hands over my face. I needed to shave. “I don’t know how,” I admitted.

  Baker nodded, still cleaning. He chucked my clothes into the hamper in my bedroom and then returned to the kitchen. “It takes time, I won’t lie to you. But you’ve got to want to move on.”

  “Did you move on from your wife?” It was a mean question and I regretted it as soon as I said it, but Baker took it all in stride.

  “Yes and no. Rainey was my whole life. I had feelings for her even when she was a senior in high school. And then we finally got together and I found out we wouldn’t have a whole lot of time together. One of the best parts of knowing someone doesn’t have much time left is that you don’t waste your time on the stupid things. You keep the communication alive and real. There wasn’t anything Rainey and I didn’t talk about when we were together. We told each other everything. I loved her more than my own life. I still do. I doubt I’ll ever stop loving her. And I don’t know if I’ll move on. I haven’t had the opportunity, but I know Rainey. She wants me to be happy, however it happens.”

  “I doubt Ember wants me to be happy,” I murmured.

  “I think you’d be surprised,” Baker interjected. “Ember’s a lot like her sister. They love wholly, and if she said she loves you, which Dallas has assured me she did, then she didn’t do it light-heartedly. She meant it. I refuse to believe she betrayed you. Granted, I don’t know the whole story, but I really think you and she need to talk.”

  “Did you come all the way here just to tell me I need to talk to her? Because it’s useless,” I explained. “She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “Are the two of you about done talking about me?”

  I looked and there she was, a vision right from my dreams, standing in the doorway of my apartment with her hands on her hips.

  Thirty-Four

  Ember

  Seeing him was harder than I imagined it would be. I missed him so much. He didn’t look as bad as I expected, either. He w
as dressed nicely in a pair of slacks and a button down shirt. His face was scruffy, but it only made him look better, to me. Of course, he could have looked like shit and my heart still would have been soaring, floating on cloud nine just to see him. As it was, there were butterflies in my stomach, I was so nervous.

  I wanted to beg for his forgiveness, to run to him and press a million kisses to his stubbly chin. I barely managed to hold on to my restraint. Barely. He looked surprised to see me, though I was more surprised by Baker’s presence.

  My brothers had sided with Stone, a fact that irritated me, even though they were right. I was the one who ruined the relationship. I had no idea if anything I was about to say would be well-received, but a girl could hope.

  “What are you doing here?” Stone asked, his voice hard.

  I gulped. “Baker, can I talk to Stone alone, please?”

  “He doesn’t need to go anywhere. We have nothing to talk about.” Stone turned away, walking back to his bedroom.

  Left alone with Baker in the kitchen, I felt all my hope dissipate. Tears started to flow before I could stop them. Crying pissed me off, though. I wasn’t about to leave the apartment without Stone getting an earful.

  I stomped past Baker. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out.” It was more than a warning.

  “See you later,” Baker said, already out the door. He knew I could handle myself.

  I swung open Stone’s bedroom door, catching him taking his shirt off. The sight of his bare chest distracted me for a minute. I walked over to him, running my hands down his muscular arms.

  “Don’t push me away,” I begged. I had so much I wanted, no needed to say, but all the words vanished as he pulled me into his arms, almost crushing my body.

  His lips descended on mine, taking absolute possession. His tongue thrust into my mouth, giving me no quarter. He was out to prove something, and I let him. Our lovemaking before had always been sweet, but this was something else entirely. I felt his anger, bubbling just below the surface. He was close to boiling over, so I did my best to calm him with my body.

  I whipped my shirt up over my head and then undid my bra. His hands went to my breasts, massaging them while I unbuckled his belt and pants. I pushed them down off his hips, revealing his hardened dick. He was just as big and beautiful as I remembered. I lost my breath just looking at him.

  Stone kissed my neck, sucking the soft skin and pressing his teeth against me. It hurt just a little, but it felt good, too. I never wanted him to stop.

  “Take me,” I whispered. We were both already past the point of foreplay. I wrapped my fingers around his thickness, stroking him.

  He growled his approval, stepped out of his pants and backed me up to his bed. He gently pushed me down on the mattress and removed my pants. Then he helped me up, surprising me. He turned me, pressing my back into his chest. I felt his hardness against the cleft of my ass and I longed for him to enter me again, to fill me up.

  He pressed me down on the bed, and I crawled up on it on all fours, knowing exactly what he wanted. He slid a condom on and leaned over me, his chest pressed tightly against my back. He put his hand under my chin, turning my head toward him until I was looking into his saddened eyes.

  “Mine,” he growled.

  And then he fucked me. There was no other word to describe our sex. It was rough and raw; Stone showed me exactly how much power he had over me, sexually, driving me up to an orgasm and then not letting me come. He backed off every time I got close. He pumped into me, his movements forceful but not quite painful.

  I thrust my hips back against him whenever he slowed down. I wanted him to let me come, but even I knew he wouldn’t, not until he was ready to come. His hands gripped my hips as he slammed into me. Finally, after what felt like forever, he started to lose control. He leaned over me to whisper in my ear.

  “I want you to come for me,” he said, his hips going harder and faster. The orgasm built and built until it finally broke, my breathing ragged and my body filled with pleasure. He followed shortly after, his body bucking wildly.

  He slumped forward, driving us both flat onto the bed. I didn’t care. I wanted more than anything for him to say the words I longed to hear, but even I knew that would be a stretch. Having sex was probably a bad idea, and when he rolled off me a minute later, I wanted him to cuddle me. No such luck. He got off the bed and went into the bathroom, closing the door.

  I took my cue, getting up and dressing. By the time he came out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts, I knew he was done with me. I felt more lost than ever, as if my whole world was crumbling around me. Tears filled my eyes again, and that time, I let them fall. I was done being angry. I just wanted him to love me again, to forgive me.

  “You should go.”

  I gulped, nodding. He was right. We were never going to work things out, it seemed, if he wouldn’t even talk to me. I walked out.

  Thirty-Five

  Stone

  That’s not what I meant.

  My heart and my head were at war, both struggling for control and the words were out before I could stop them. She left my room and I let her, my heart breaking all over again. I knew I couldn’t let her leave. I raced out of my room, catching her as she was opening up my front door.

  “Ember.” I didn’t know what else to say, but when she turned, her teary green eyes meeting mine, I knew we had to work it out. “I think we should talk.”

  She gulped. “I didn’t think you wanted to talk.” Her voice was strained. Guilt washed over me. I did that to her.

  “I didn’t at first. But I think we should, especially after what just happened.”

  She nodded, closing the door and walking back into the apartment. She stood in the kitchen, arms crossed. She wanted to say something, I could tell, but since I initiated the conversation, there was no turning back.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. It was a start.

  “You shouldn’t be,” she replied. “Stone, I know you overheard me talking to Mallory and Gabby about the solo contract. I have to assume you didn’t stick around to hear the whole conversation, because I told them how much I loved you, how I could never do that to you. I was never going to take the contract.”

  “You weren’t?” It made sense. I never thought she was like that.

  “No, I wasn’t. In fact, I was planning on telling you that night. I figured we probably didn’t want to work for a company who tried to split us up.”

  I was at a loss for words. It couldn’t be that simple. If I’d stuck around a few more hours, I would have been able to get the whole story. I hated myself. I was so selfish, so quick to judge her and assume the worst. I’d have saved us both a lot of heart ache if I hadn’t been such an ass.

  “You took the solo contract, though,” I couldn’t help but point out. Doubt was still running rampant in my mind. The last few weeks were treacherous for my soul, leaving me vulnerable and afraid. I didn’t know if we could actually work it out.

  “You’re right. I made the assumption that you left me. And then Emily told me you quit, that you just walked away from the contract without looking back. I thought you didn’t care, that you used me.”

  I wanted to hug her. Instead, I wrung my hands together. “I never would have left you.” It was the truth.

  “So she lied to me to get me to sign the new contract. It was a smart tactic on her part. Then, after that first solo show, I texted you and never got a reply. It all pointed to your guilt. At least, that’s how it looked.”

  “We’re both at fault, Ember. Neither of us can take all the blame, though I’d like to. If I had stuck around, you would have told me the whole story.” I hated myself.

  She shook her head. “But I shouldn’t have told the girls about it before I talked to you. For the record, though, I lit into them after they suggested I take the deal. I told them how much I loved you, how I could never betray you that way. I put them both in their place.”

  I laughed. “I bet that f
elt good.”

  She looked at her hands. “Then, that night, I slept in one of your t-shirts, in your bed, waiting for you to come in. But you never did.”

  She was breaking my heart, dammit. “Ember, I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize,” she told me, her eyes lifting to mine. “We could apologize to each other for a lifetime. I’m done with the past. The only thing I care about is our future.”

  The vice on my heart reappeared, squeezing it tight. “Do we have a future?” I didn’t want to get my hopes up, didn’t want to believe we could come back from this.

  “We’ve always had a future.”

  I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Do you forgive me for leaving?” She said she didn’t want to talk about it, but I had to know I had her forgiveness before we moved any further.

  “Of course I do. And do you forgive me for being an idiot?”

  “You bet I do. I was an idiot, too,” I admitted.

  We were both silent for a full minute, letting the moment take over.

  “So what now?” I asked, more than a little disappointed that we weren’t kissing. Maybe it was wrong, but all I wanted was to get her back in bed. I knew we were going to be okay, in time, but I wanted to soothe her fears, too. I just had no idea how to do it.

  “Now we forget the past. Forget the mistakes,” she suggested, a smile tugging on her lips.

  “Start over?”

  She walked over to me, stopping just an inch away. “Hell no.” She pressed her lips to mine for a brief kiss. “I want us to pick up right where we left off.”