Beyond the Lens

by Hannah Ellis

  “And after him?”

  “Some guy called Adam,” I replied, smiling as I watched him standing in the broken sunlight, his thumbs hooked loosely into his back pockets. “I don’t know his last name …”

  “Lewis?” he suggested.

  “Adam Lewis,” I pondered. “That could be it. Anyway, he was handsome in his own way but had this nasty habit of following me around with a camera. Very annoying!”

  “But you dated him anyway?”

  “Yep.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “He judged me on my choice of shoes and my short dating history, and left me in the woods one day.”

  “Interesting,” he mused, looking down and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

  “And your dating history?” I quizzed.

  “It’s slightly longer,” he said with a grin. “But almost as boring as yours!”

  “Hey!” I kicked out a foot to splash him.

  “I dated a girl not long ago who always wore these really high heels,” he told me. “The stupid stiletto ones? They looked great, but she always looked so unstable that I kept imagining how easily I’d be able to push her over …” His eyes flashed with mirth and I let out a short laugh. “You can’t really date someone if you’re always thinking about pushing them over.”

  “It does seem like a doomed relationship,” I agreed, as he moved through the water towards me.

  “It was.” He reached out a hand and I joined him in the water, enjoying the feel of his arms around my waist. “Sturdiness is underrated.”

  “Are you calling me sturdy?” I asked, my arms hanging loosely around his neck.

  “No,” he told me. “Because that sounds bad!”

  “It certainly doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

  “I think the best thing for me to do now would be to kiss you and pretend that word never came up.”

  “Good plan,” I told him as his lips came down to meet mine, our bodies moving together. My stomach lurched and my body reacted to him. Never in my very limited dating history had I felt like this about anyone.

  I really needed a pause button. Some moments are so amazing that you want them to last forever. This was one of them. It was an amazing, tender moment – right up until something bit my foot and I leapt out of the water as though it was shark-infested.

  “If I’m moving too fast, you can just say.” Adam grinned and followed me out of the water.

  “There was something on my foot,” I said, struggling to catch my breath.

  “Fish,” Adam announced, peering into the water. “There are loads of them.”

  “Sorry,” I told him, a hand on his back, looking down at the tiny fish darting around. “I think I killed the moment!”

  “Some women pay good money to have fish nibble their feet, you know?”

  “Crazy women!” I told him and he kissed me briefly before sitting to put his shoes back on.

  “Just so we’re clear,” he said when we set out along the path again, “I like your footwear and your short dating history.”

  “And I’m glad you don’t spend your time thinking about pushing me over.”

  “Well, it’s not like it never crosses my mind …” He grinned and gave me a gentle shove.

  “I’m sturdy,” I told him proudly, holding my ground.

  Chapter 31

  “He’s keen,” Chrissie commented when I told her about my hiking trip with Adam and the movie night I’d had with him the previous evening.

  “I didn’t see him today.” He’d gone with Carl to a photography exhibition, so I’d spent the day cleaning my apartment and lazing around.

  “Apart from now,” Chrissie pointed out.

  “Yeah.” I smiled as I looked over at Adam, who was standing over the barbecue with Matt.

  “So things are going well?” she asked.

  “Yeah, really well. He’s amazing.”

  “I have a question.” Ryan plonked himself down on the plastic garden chair next to me. “Do you think Margaret’s got a thing for me?”

  “No!” Both Chrissie and I laughed at the genuine concern on Ryan’s face.

  “I feel like she’s after me,” he told us quietly. “She gives me these looks. It’s starting to get creepy.”

  “The fame might be going to your head,” Chrissie told him. “You think all women are after you.”

  “All women are after me,” he told us seriously before looking thoughtfully up to the sky. “Maybe you’re right. I might have a problem!”

  “I think so,” I said.

  “That’s good, then. I don’t have to look out for Margaret. She’s just being friendly?”

  “Yes,” Chrissie replied. “She definitely isn’t interested in you.”

  “Thanks, girls. Anyone need a drink?” We shook our heads and he left us alone again.

  I got a stern look from Matt’s mum as she walked outside with a plate of burger buns and a bowl of salad. “I hope you’re behaving?”

  “All calm so far, Wendy.” I smiled at her but her ‘jokes’ were beginning to wear thin.

  “I have to say, it’s lovely having all these young men in the house.” She winked at us as she set the food on the table next to the barbecue before squeezing Adam’s bicep. I didn’t dare catch Chrissie’s eye, certain I’d get the giggles. The look on Adam’s face was funny enough. “That Pierre’s a bit of all right too, isn’t he?”

  Pierre was Kelly’s date, and so far he’d confused me by telling me that he was French, in a heavy Welsh accent. He was making himself useful, helping Wendy in the kitchen.

  “He seems nice,” Chrissie commented, falling silent when Kelly wandered out through the back door.

  “You won’t believe this,” she told us in hushed tones as she sat beside me. “I think Margaret’s trying to steal Pierre. She’s all over him! She’s laughing at his jokes – which aren’t even funny – and she keeps touching his arm. Honestly, it’s quite disturbing. Can’t she find someone her own age? I’ve seen her giving Ryan the eye as well.”

  “She’s had a glass of wine,” Chrissie pointed out. “I think she’s just one of those people who flirts with anyone after a drink.”

  “Yeah, you might be right. She needs to leave Pierre alone, though, or I’ll have to have a word.”

  “So you met him at the restaurant?” I asked.

  “Yeah, he’s the new wine waiter. They’re trying to be fancy now the place is so popular. To be honest, I don’t think I’m that keen on him, I was just intrigued. I’ve never met anyone who’s half French and half Welsh. It’s a bit weird, actually!”

  “Burgers are ready,” Matt shouted.

  “I’m starving,” Kelly said, walking away from us.

  “It’s like a revolving door of entertainment,” Chrissie said as Margaret fell into the empty chair, laughing. “You have to tell us something funny if you sit there!”

  “You Brits are so easy to wind up.” Margaret said as the laughter subsided. “I’ve got Ryan thinking I’m in love with him and Kelly thinking I’m after her boy-toy!”

  “Poor Ryan,” I said, smiling. “We told him he was imagining it.”

  “I’d watch out for Kelly,” Chrissie said. “She has an air of someone I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of – if you know what I mean.”

  “Yeah,” Margaret said. “She can be quite scary in the restaurant. I’d say she has a violent streak. Maybe I should stay away from Pierre.”

  “I need food,” I told them, getting up and moving over to the barbecue. “Everything under control, boys?”

  “There’s a burger with your name on it,” Matt told me, reaching for a plate and flipping the meat on it for me.

  “Put the chicken legs on now,” Wendy instructed Matt. “I know how Ryan loves his chicken!” She howled with laughter and Matt rolled his eyes.

  “I can see where you get your sense of humour from, Matt.”

  He glared at me and swatted me away with a spatula.


  “How was your day?” Adam asked while I built up my burger and loaded salad on my plate.

  “Fine,” I told him. “Pretty boring. How was yours? Did you enjoy the exhibition?”

  “It was fine.” He paused and switched to a whisper. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” I beamed as my stomach flipped and my appetite disappeared.

  “I need a group photo,” Wendy announced after the food. “Everyone go and stand against the hedge over there.” We did as we were told, while Wendy barked orders at us. “Sorry, not you,” she told Pierre. “Just the famous people. You get out of the way too,” she told Adam. “Actually, you’re the camera guy, aren’t you? Could you take the photo? You’ll know what you’re doing. Matt, where’s your dad?” We all winced as she screamed for Matt’s poor dad, Graham, to come outside.

  “I’ve just seen you all on the telly,” Graham said when he joined us, standing at the edge of our group for the photo.

  “You know how to use that, don’t you?” Wendy asked Adam, who held up her battered-looking phone.

  “I think I can manage.” He smiled politely back at her. “Say cheese!”

  “You would think they’d have run out of things to say about us by now,” Chrissie replied to Graham.

  “It was an advert for next week’s show,” he told us. “It was all very mysterious.”

  “The live show’s in two weeks,” Matt told him.

  “It didn’t look like a live show. It just said there would be an extra show with shocking new footage. Can you all stop staring at me?” he said. “That’s all I know.”

  Much to Wendy’s dismay, we abandoned the photo and headed for the kitchen, where we huddled around Matt while he did a quick internet search on Graham’s laptop. “Found it,” he told us, and the screen flashed with our smiling faces before it changed to a shot of Chelsea, who invited viewers to tune in next Friday for an unforgettable hour of entertainment. “You won’t believe your eyes,” she promised, before the advert ended.

  “I’m sure people will believe their eyes.” I sighed. “They believe anything that’s fed to them.”

  Chapter 32

  The restaurant where Kelly worked felt like a fast-food place. The décor was minimal and tacky, with dusty plastic flowers on every table. I listened to the easy conversation at the table, but didn’t feel very sociable.

  “Lower the weapon, please.” Adam reached out for the knife that Matt was waving around while he told us another teaching anecdote.

  “Sorry, mate!” Matt laughed. “I think maybe I should just let you stab me, and then we can shut up about it. You’re milking it a bit now.”

  “You’ve literally scarred me for life. I think I’m allowed to milk that!” Adam said.

  “I’ve done you a favour,” Matt told him. “Women love scars.”

  “So I should be thanking you for almost severing my hand?”

  “You’re so dramatic,” Matt said. “If you want me to kiss it better, just say so!”

  Adam rolled his eyes and turned to me. “You okay?”

  I was quietly staring at the menu, using it as a shield. Chrissie had convinced me to join them for a meal, but it already felt like a bad idea. In the two days since Matt’s barbecue, I hadn’t ventured out much. I’d received a load of nasty looks and someone had shouted at me when I went to the local shop for groceries, and I decided I was better off hiding away indoors.

  When Chrissie argued that I couldn’t hide forever, I decided there was safety in numbers and agreed to come out. We were subject to stares and murmurs as soon as we walked in and, even though Kelly had attempted to conceal us in a corner, I was still aware of the looks we were getting.

  “I’m fine,” I replied.

  “People are just curious,” Chrissie said. “Ignore them.”

  I smiled weakly, keeping my thoughts to myself. She had no idea; all she’d had was positive attention. It was hard to describe how it felt to have strangers in the street giving you abuse. It wasn’t so easy for me to brush off, but I didn’t want to ruin the evening by dwelling on it. I’d just eat and make an excuse to leave, I decided.

  “This place is full of celebrities tonight,” Kelly whispered after taking our order. “Try and be cool, won’t you?”

  “We’re always cool,” Matt said.

  “It’s very weird that we’re celebrities,” Chrissie said. “I can’t quite get my head around it. Are you coming to Dylan’s after work?” she asked Kelly.

  “Maybe. I’ll see what time I finish. It might be a late one. Once word gets out about all the famous people hanging around tonight, we’ll probably get busy.”

  “It’s already pretty busy,” I said.

  “This is nothing. They’ll be queuing up later. I’d better get on. Food won’t be long.”

  She was right: the food arrived slightly too fast for my liking and wasn’t particularly good. I slipped my hand into Adam’s and decided I’d finish my drink and get him to take me home.

  The toilets were at the opposite side of the room, beyond the bar. I walked quickly, in time with my heartbeat, trying to ignore the looks I was getting.

  “You’re that crazy one off the TV, aren’t you?” a girl asked when I walked out of the toilet cubicle. She only looked about eighteen, and I had the feeling she’d followed me into the toilets on purpose.

  “Yep. That’s me,” I told her, rinsing my hands quickly and heading for the door.

  “Can I get a selfie with you?”

  “No,” I told her. “I’d rather not.”

  “Suit yourself!” she called after me as I made a quick exit.

  I was trying to bypass a group of guys by the bar when one of them stepped directly into my path. “Excuse me,” I said politely, trying to keep my head down and be invisible.

  “Hey! What’s up, Lucy?” he asked as though he knew me, loudly enough for his friends – and anyone else in the vicinity – to hear. His companions sniggered, and I went to move around the other side of him but he blocked my path.

  “Can I just get past, please?” I looked up at him. His crooked smile was making me nervous.

  “Come on, Lucy, stay and chat to me. Just because Matt’s not keen doesn’t mean no one else is interested.” I got a whiff of his alcohol-fuelled breath and glanced over his shoulder, searching for Adam. “I don’t mind them a bit crazy either,” he leered loudly, to the amusement of his pals.

  “Excuse me,” I said again, but when I went to walk past him, he put a hand on my hip and pulled me back. I pushed his hand away and stepped aside just in time to see a fist whizz past me and land squarely in the middle of his face.

  “Has anyone else got anything to say to my friend?” Kelly asked, inspecting her knuckle while her victim stared at her in shock, catching drops of blood as they fell from his nose. “Good! Then I’m going to ask you all politely to leave now. Or do I need to call the police?” They glanced at each other before placing their drinks on the bar and shuffling off through the restaurant.

  “Come with me.” Margaret appeared and led me behind the bar and into the corridor beyond.

  “Are you okay?” Kelly patted my arm and I remembered to breathe.

  “I need some air,” I told them. Margaret announced she was going to get Adam, and Kelly led me out of a back door and into an alleyway.

  “Thanks for rescuing me,” I said to Kelly, who smiled and flexed her fingers. “Is your hand okay?”

  “I’ll survive,” she told me. “What a creep.”

  “What’s going on?” Adam appeared, looking worried. Chrissie and Matt were following close behind.

  “I just want to go home,” I told him and he put an arm around me. I really didn’t want to fall apart behind the bins; I needed to get home quickly so I could collapse into a blubbering mess in private.

  “Margaret said some guys were hassling you?” Chrissie said.

  “She’s fine,” Kelly told them. “Just take her home, Adam.”

 
; “Shall we come with you?” Chrissie offered.

  “It’s fine. I want to be on my own. I’ll talk to you later.” I made a poor attempt at a smile and walked quickly towards the road, with Adam hurrying to keep up.

  “What happened?” he asked in the car, but I could only shake my head. I put all my energy into keeping tears at bay until I got home. He rested a hand on my knee and I turned away from him, leaning my head on the cool window.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I told him when he pulled up in front of my place. He put a hand on my arm but I jerked away, practically falling out of the car in my haste to escape. I made for the shelter of my apartment, ignoring Adam, who was calling my name. I shut the door behind me and blocked out the noise of the doorbell and Adam knocking at the door. Pacing the living room, I tried to control my breathing. The room spun and I gripped the back of the couch as a sob escaped me.

  I wished Adam would leave. I heard him call my name again. Then I wished he would stay. Panic set in as soon as it went quiet, and I ran to open the door. He looked so solemn standing in the doorway. He looked at me for a moment before we moved at the same time, crashing into each other. I clung to him. Once I started to cry, I couldn’t stop.

  He moved me into the living room and onto the couch, cradling me until my hysterics subsided. I was reluctant to move my face from his shoulder – partly because I was sure I wasn’t looking my best, but also because I didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. I was also quite comfy.

  “I’ll get you some water.” He kissed the top of my head as I wiped away my tears. Finally deciding that making myself look decent was an impossible task, I gave up, lying on the couch and closing my eyes until Adam reappeared and placed a glass of water on the table before perching on the couch beside me.

  “How did all this happen?” I asked vaguely. “I should never have gone to Majorca. Why didn’t I just carry on home instead of stopping to talk to Chelsea?”

  He looked hurt. “Don’t say that.”

  “I can’t even leave the house any more,” I said.