Beyond the Lens

by Hannah Ellis

  “That’s okay. We can just stay inside. It’s not so bad.” His mouth twitched into a half smile. As I sat up to kiss him, something primal kicked in and I suddenly just wanted to forget everything that was going on in my life. I pulled him roughly towards me and kissed him hard, moving back moments later to pull his T-shirt over his head. I could feel his apprehension, and knew he was probably worried about my current mental state, and whether or not I was fully in control of my actions.

  I ran my fingers through his hair as I kissed him urgently, and when I eased back to lie on the couch I gave him no choice but to follow me, covering my body with his. I hushed him when he tried to speak, swallowing his words until he finally gave in and relaxed into me. My skin tingled with a million tiny electric shocks as I caressed his back and he kissed my neck.

  “Hi!” Melissa’s voice caught me by surprise, leaving me confused and gasping for breath. “Don’t mind me,” she said loudly, with more than a hint of eye-rolling, then we heard her bedroom door slam shut. Adam collapsed onto me, letting out a low guttural sigh before pulling himself up and reaching for his T-shirt.

  “Sorry,” I told him sheepishly.

  “No problem.” He smiled. “Can I get a beer?”

  I nodded and tried to compose myself when he went to the kitchen. I sat up to steal a swig of his beer and then lay back down, resting my feet in his lap as I finally told him what had happened in the restaurant, and how Kelly had come to my rescue.

  “I wish I was the sort of person who could just punch someone in the face when they hassled me,” I told him. “Although I’d probably have been arrested several times in the past week!”

  “It’s better to have friends who will beat people up for you,” he mused, massaging my feet.

  My eyelids slowly became heavier while we chatted, and at some point I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Waking to a combination of sunlight and birdsong, I pulled my duvet around me – before realising that I was still on the couch and Adam had gone. I was making coffee when I heard a shrill beeping coming from my bedroom. I stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at Adam, who was sprawled peacefully face down on my bed.

  Silencing the incompetent alarm, I sat down to nudge him awake.

  “How come I got the couch and you got my bed?” I asked when he forced his eyes open.

  “You looked comfy.” He stretched. “I didn’t want to wake you and I couldn’t be bothered to drive home.”

  He propped himself up on one elbow and I moved to kiss him. Then he reached for his phone to check the time. “I’m late for work,” he groaned.

  Chapter 33

  “I’m so sorry, I honestly wanted to cook.” Carl’s wife, Lizzie, apologised to me for the third time.

  “I’m more than happy with pizza,” I said, watching Adam bounce nine-month-old Josh on his knee and pull faces at him.

  “There’s a guy coming to fix the oven tomorrow,” Carl said.

  “I’m fairly sure we need a new one,” Lizzie told him. “Adam had a look at it and he couldn’t fix it.”

  “Since when is Adam an expert on fixing ovens?” Carl sank on to the couch beside me.

  “He’s just handy with stuff like that.” Lizzie looked at me. “He’s an angel. Nothing would ever get done around here if it weren’t for Adam.”

  “Hang on a minute,” Carl said. “I’m perfectly capable of doing odd jobs!”

  “We had a door that creaked for two years,” Lizzie told me. “Adam was here two days and he fixed it.”

  “So he’s handy with a can of WD-40!” Carl said.

  “Well, you couldn’t manage it!” she told him.

  “It was on my list of things to do.”

  Adam grinned through their exchange. “There was that window that wouldn’t open too.”

  “It took Adam all of about three minutes to fix that!” Lizzie smiled at me. “He’s not a bad cook either.”

  “Are we trying to sell him, or what?” Carl said.

  “No! He’s not for sale. I couldn’t cope without him. We’re going to keep him with us forever. He’s the glue that holds our marriage together!” She passed a bottle of milk to Adam. “See if you can get him to sleep before the pizzas get here, so we can eat in peace.”

  Adam sat back in his chair, cradling Josh in the crook of his arm before popping the bottle in his mouth.

  “He’s great with the baby too,” Lizzie told me.

  “Okay,” Carl said. “Adam is wonderful. I think we’ve all got the message. We’ve not even mentioned the photos yet!”

  “Aren’t they gorgeous?” Lizzie looked up at the mantelpiece, which was adorned with framed family photos. “Adam takes the most fantastic photos.”

  “I had a look earlier. They’re amazing.” I glanced at Adam, whose eyes were on Josh. He was gently rocking him and hushing him as he gave him his bottle.

  “Adam said the media attention has been pretty tough,” Lizzie said, changing the subject.

  “Yeah. I’m starting to feel a bit claustrophobic at home.”

  It was Wednesday, and this was the first time I’d left the apartment since the incident at Kelly’s restaurant on Sunday. “I had to get my mum to go shopping for me yesterday. I couldn’t bring myself to go to the shop.”

  Lizzie looked sympathetic. “People are awful, aren’t they?”

  “I can’t believe how crazy it’s all been. It feels like a bad dream.”

  “I wonder what they’ll show on Friday,” she mused.

  “He’s asleep,” Adam announced, looking at Josh.

  “I’d better take him up,” Carl said. “Prove I’m not completely useless.”

  “If you wake him, I’m divorcing you and marrying Adam,” Lizzie told him with a warning glance.

  “Do I get any say in that?” Adam asked as he handed Josh to Carl and joined me on the couch.

  “No,” Lizzie said with a grin. “Are you working tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, I’m in the studio tomorrow and then I have a week away from the place. I’ve got some private photo shoots lined up.”

  “That’s good,” she said.

  The doorbell rang, and Adam went to answer it.

  “Thanks for inviting me over,” I said to Lizzie. “It’s nice to get out of my apartment.”

  “You’re welcome. Any friend of Adam’s is a friend of ours,” she told me. “We quite like him, in case you haven’t noticed!”

  “Me too,” I replied automatically and felt myself blush as Lizzie smiled at me.

  It was a lovely relaxed evening. Carl was such an easy-going character and I loved the affectionate bickering between him and Lizzie. They were warm and welcoming and the evening flew by.

  “Come again, won’t you?” Lizzie said, embracing me when we finally went to leave.

  “I’d love to,” I told her, hugging Carl before stepping outside with Adam and turning to wave at them.

  “Want to see my room?” Adam asked as the security light came on and illuminated the driveway. I nodded and followed him to the garage at the side of the house.

  “It’s nice,” I told him when we were inside.

  “It’s all Lizzie’s decorating,” he said as I took in the flowery wallpaper on one wall.

  “Hmm, yes, it is quite feminine,” I commented.

  “They said I could redecorate but I’d feel bad about it. They’d only just done it up when my dad had his heart attack and I got rid of my place in the city.” He went to sit on the edge of the bed, and I joined him. “It was supposed to be a guest room for when Lizzie’s parents come to stay, since they don’t live nearby. I was killing myself commuting to the city until they insisted I stay here.”

  “That was nice of them.”

  “They’re amazing.”

  I nodded. “I had a great evening.”

  He leaned closer to me as the conversation fizzled out, and I relaxed into him. He brought his hands up to frame my face, then caressed my hair while he kissed me.
/>   “Do you want to stay here?” he asked as he kissed my neck. I’m not sure why I tensed, but he obviously registered it. “Or I could drive you home?” he said.

  I hesitated and my mind whirred while I tried to figure out what to do. I had no idea why I was reluctant to stay. The other night, at my place, I’d thrown myself at him and now, all of a sudden, I was unsure. I felt as though I couldn’t trust myself to make decisions any more. In the past few weeks my life been had turned on its head several times, and my emotions were all over the place.

  “I’m not sure,” I said.

  He planted a kiss on my nose. “I’ll drive you home.”

  “Sorry,” I said as we stood.

  “It’s fine.”

  “I just don’t want you to think …” I trailed off, not sure what I was going to say.

  “I don’t think anything.” He kissed me again before taking my hand and leading me out to the car. He chatted away in the car and I was glad that it wasn’t awkward. I was laughing at his stories of him and Carl getting drunk and getting into trouble with Lizzie as we pulled up at my flat. I smiled lazily at his profile and regretted my decision not to stay with him.

  “What?” he asked me.

  “I feel like I’m going mad,” I told him. “My head is such a mess with everything that’s been going on. Is it completely crazy that I want to invite you in?”

  “I’m going to go with fickle rather than crazy.”

  “Sorry,” I said again and he leaned over to kiss me.

  “It’s really not a big deal. Get some sleep and sort your head out. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “You’re working tomorrow, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, and it’ll be a long day. I’ll see you on Friday, though?”

  “Great.” I kissed him goodbye and got out of the car, kicking myself all the way inside and into my cold lonely bed.

  Chapter 34

  The gang assembled in the back room of the pub on Friday night and had a couple of drinks before moving upstairs to Dylan’s apartment to watch the show. It was cramped with all of us in the cosy living room, and there was the usual banter, along with some speculation about what they were going to broadcast, while we waited for the show to begin.

  Margaret suggested that after the success of the first show they would move straight to another and film the first show live this time. I didn’t think they were finished with us yet, and grew increasingly nervous as the adverts came on before the show. I was sitting on a shabby beige couch, sandwiched between Chrissie and Adam. I leaned into Adam and he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

  “Maybe they’ve engineered more footage and it’s an hour of the girls in their bikinis fighting over Matt!” Ryan’s voice reached me from somewhere behind me.

  “Someone hit him, please,” I called over my shoulder.

  “Hey!” he shouted and I turned to see him cowering from Kelly who swatted at him playfully. “Maybe even mud wrestling,” he added bravely and darted across the room to avoid Kelly. I turned and rolled my eyes at him before Dylan shushed us and turned up the volume on the TV.

  We muttered our disdain when Jessica appeared on the screen. She was sitting on a blue couch, wearing a white suit and looking, in my opinion, like a complete bitch. There was a large screen to her left and she smiled into the camera which zoomed in on her.

  I didn’t trust Jessica and her production team one bit, and I was terrified of what lies she would tell next. I just wanted all the media attention to die down, but I had the feeling she wanted the exact opposite and would do anything to get her way.

  She introduced herself as the show’s producer, and then made some generic comments about the success of the show and remarked on the viewing figures before her tone changed.

  “As I expected, the show caused quite a media storm, and we’ve all read and heard stories about our seven participants. What I can now reveal is that the majority of those stories were fabricated by my team and leaked to the press.”

  I was confused by her words. Had she really just admitted that they had made things up? I held my breath, waiting to see what would come next.

  “I can also tell you that what you believed to be a reality TV show was far from reality.” She paused. Her words hung in the air. “In the next hour we will begin to reveal the truth behind A Trip to Remember, and show you how the media can twist the truth until it is entirely unrecognisable. We used multiple camera angles and voice technology in order to create an entirely fake show. We’ll reveal how we went from this …” She indicated the screen beside her and footage of us came on. This time it showed exactly what had happened, and I watched myself fall from the rope in the trees and dangle there, shouting at Matt, who looked down at me helplessly, leaving Adam to come to my rescue.

  “My hero!” I grinned up at him, only to see a look of panic appear on his face.

  “Well, there goes my street cred,” Matt complained.

  “To this,” Jessica introduced the next clip, showing the edited version of us in the trees. This time, Matt came to my rescue. Or so it appeared.

  “To be honest, I think their version is better,” Matt said and received a slap on the leg from Chrissie.

  “In case you’re wondering who the real hero was,” Jessica continued, “it was one of our cameramen, Adam Lewis. Which brings us to the next twist in the tale. Not only were our participants’ words and actions distorted, but they were also led to believe that we were merely trialling a concept for a show. As far as they were concerned, the show would probably never be aired. They didn’t know that the house was rigged with hidden cameras. We used camera operators in order to create a situation where the participants believed they weren’t always being filmed.

  “This evening we will show you the truth behind some of the pivotal moments in the show.” She looked at the screen again and footage appeared of Chrissie and me laughing by the pool, right before I pushed her in. They then showed how they had made it look completely different by never showing our faces and editing what we said. It was amazing how easy it looked.

  We were glued to the screen for the next hour while we watched ourselves on screen, both edited and unedited clips. It was fun to watch, and we laughed as we relived our holiday. At the end of the show, Jessica looked directly into the camera to address the audience again.

  “Reality TV shows are always engineered to provide maximum entertainment. The contestants are chosen specifically for their entertainment value, and only the most TV-worthy moments will make it to your screen, displayed in the most dramatic way possible.” She paused, re-crossing her legs and leaning towards the camera. “With A Trip to Remember we wanted to show you just how easy it is to manipulate footage.” We waited in complete silence when she paused again. “But we won’t do it again. RealTV24 will give you the chance to watch genuine, unedited footage of real everyday people. You’ll be able to watch as we find people at random and follow them from packing for their holiday until they return home. To kick this off, over the course of the next week, we will broadcast the entire footage from A Trip to Remember, unedited, on RealTV24. You can switch over now to begin watching Lucy and the rest of our contestants twenty-four hours a day, or tune in every evening here on RDT1 to see the highlights. I’m confident you’ll find the unedited version just as entertaining as the show we engineered! Good evening!” She sounded like a newsreader when she ended the show. Dylan immediately grabbed the remote to change to RealTV24.

  “That’s not good,” Adam complained.

  “What?” I looked at him to see if he was serious. “It’s amazing! I don’t have to convince people I’m not crazy. They’ll see it for themselves.”

  “I hate to break it to you,” Matt said, “but you probably come off as slightly crazy anyway!”

  “I can live with slightly crazy,” I told him.

  I looked behind me and noticed that Ryan had gone as white as a sheet. “I need to go and find a rock to live under,” he told me as he caught me l
ooking at him. “No offence,” he said to Margaret, making us all laugh.

  “Oh no!” Chrissie suddenly looked horrified. “They’re going to show everything!”

  “And?” Kelly asked. “It’s not so bad, is it? Unless you’re Margaret or Ryan!”

  “It’s just that everything will be shown,” Chrissie said. “Every conversation we had. Even when we thought there were no cameras around.”

  I began to think of all my late-night chats with Chrissie and realised that Adam would know everything I said about him. That would be embarrassing.

  “What are you so worried about?” Matt asked Chrissie.

  “It’s just going to be embarrassing, that’s all. I said some things when I thought we weren’t being filmed.”

  “Were you talking about me?” Matt asked her in a silly voice as he squeezed her cheek.

  “Get off!” She swatted his hand away as a smile crept over her face.

  “Oh, wait!” Dylan said, his eyes twinkling. “I don’t think you should be teasing anyone, Matt! You might have said something about the girls, if I remember correctly.” He gave Matt a knowing look, and I watched in amusement as Matt’s face fell.

  “Oh crap,” he said slowly as his eyes went wide. He raised his hands to cover his face briefly and then gently squeezed Chrissie’s arm. “Well, this has been fun, babe. Maybe we should just end things on a positive note and go our separate ways …”

  “What did you say?” she growled at him, and he winced as he glanced at me.

  “Don’t tell me it involves me too?” I asked.

  “Oh, God.” He sighed as he glanced at Kelly and then Margaret. “Right. I’m sure we all said things behind closed doors which we’d rather people didn’t see, so I think we should make a pact that none of us watch it … and maybe go and live in a cave somewhere?”

  “Oh!” I gasped as a thought hit me. I looked at Kelly and cringed. “Matt and I were mean about you.”

  “What did you say?” she glared at us.

  “What?” Matt jumped in. “When?”

  “On the plane,” I reminded him.

  “That wasn’t really mean.” He grinned. “I think we judged you by your blondness. But you didn’t prove us wrong!”