Wait for Me

by Shannon Alexander

  I don’t have much to lose by listening to her. We are living in the same house, it wouldn’t be totally weird to sit down and talk with him. I plan on giving it a go. What’s the worst that can happen? The best thing is I will realize that Tyler and I are no longer meant to be, and then I can go to New York and tell Heath that he has nothing to worry about, and figure out how we will spend the rest of our lives together.

  Yes, that is exactly what I am going to do. Because Tyler doesn’t still love me, and I no longer love Tyler like I did 3 years ago. I will always care about him, but my future is with someone else. I think we need to put all the cards on the table and move on.

  Chapter thirty- seven

  I knock on Tyler’s bedroom door a few nights later.

  I thought about what Stacy and I talked about.

  I could find out where Tyler and I stood, close that door romantically between the two of us, and give him more Evan in the process.

  For the last 2 months, since Tyler has been here he has spent nearly every moment with Evan and I. But never so much that he and I talked about what happened between the two of us again.

  He would look at me, he would touch me, but I truly tried to brush it all off. We were friends, we were being friends for our son.

  Tyler opens the door on my third knock. He’s wearing just a towel around his waist. Water droplets line his very muscular chest.

  Did I mention that he is twice the size as he was when I saw him before he left? He started working out again in his physical therapy. Defying all odds believed in Germany about his physical status, he is back to normal nearly seven months after his accident.

  He looks at me and grins. “What’s up?”

  I wave the large photo album, bottle of tequila and two shot glasses lying on top of the book.

  He stands to the side allowing me to enter the room.

  I notice that the bathroom door is still open, billows of warm steam seep into the room, bringing with it the scent of Tyler’s soap cologne.

  “I need a drink after the last few weeks, and I thought we could look through some of these photos of Evan? I mean if you don’t have plans?”

  Tyler reaches over and takes the bottle of Gran Patron Platinum as well as the two shot glasses.

  I sit down on the floor, leaning up against his bed. I almost sat on his bed, but decided that would be really inappropriate, and the purpose of all of this is to talk about Evan and reassure myself nothing else is possible with Tyler. Not encourage those feelings to burst back through.

  Tyler walks into his bathroom, closing the door partially behind him. I can see him through the large mirror over the sink as he slips on a pair of sweatpants.

  When he comes back out, he walks back to his desk where the alcohol and glasses await.

  “I haven’t had good tequila in years, all we had was the cheap shit in the little bars of the towns we visited.”

  “What was it like, traveling to all of those other countries?”

  He hands me a glass and I take the first shot, coughing slightly at the intense burn as the alcohol slides down my throat. Tyler tosses his back with zero effort.

  “Lonely, scary I was pretty damn miserable.”

  He looks set on something behind me. I turn around to see what has captured his attention and I notice it is a picture of him and I when we were 15. He was always trying to be so cool, that was when he was sleeping with all of these girls from school, leaving me to cry every night after listening to the endless gossip in the girl’s locker room about how amazing Tyler was in the sack. That Christmas he surprised me with two tickets to The Nutcracker. It was my favorite. He brought me roses, took me out to dinner and to the show. Holding my hand the entire time. Of course that night he kissed me and ended up dropping me off and screwing some girl from my class. I heard from Kelly Fraize -the biggest whore in our school- the next day all about how Tyler Pierce called her up and screwed her in the back of her car.

  I didn’t talk to him for a month after that. I licked my wounds for as long as possible. Of course it wasn’t easy, he was everywhere. Trying to crack jokes and make me laugh, physically bumping into me. He was always touching, and when I was mad at him, he would get grumpy and sit in his room when he realized I wasn’t going to ignore why I was mad.

  And I think he always knew. He knew I found out about the other girls. He never tried to explain with anything more than “it was a onetime thing.” Or “She’s not right for me, it was just fun.”

  The picture he is looking at, is from that night at The Nutcracker. He had a stranger take the photo of the two of us. I never knew he had it hanging up in here. As I look around, I notice his walls are covered in photos. Some are of sports stars he has met over time, others are of him and his mom. But he has a lot of him, Matt and me. And I like that.

  “Why were you so lonely and scared? You weren’t alone.”

  He looks back down at me. Taking a seat in his desk chair facing me.

  “I was, I mean I had the guys in my unit, Josh mostly but I missed my family, I missed Matt. I missed you.”

  He drifts off with the last part.

  I clear my throat. “Well I know everyone is really happy to have you back, safe and sound.”

  “Everyone?” He asks quirking an eyebrow

  “Yeah, of course. I mean now that we have talked about the Evan situation, I am glad that you are here and a part of his life. I know that he really looks up to you.”

  “He’s so amazing Lyss, like seriously I have met little kids, especially when I was deployed little kids would run up to us as we came off the ship wanting to meet real life hero’s as some of them called us. But Evan, he’s something else. He’s so smart and so loving. He’s just like you.”

  I laugh “but he looks exactly like you.”

  “He will have no trouble getting all the girls when he grows up.” He replies, his voice filled with humor.

  I look down. “Anyway, I thought that I could show you some photos.”

  I open the book and flip to the first page.

  “Hey, I wasn’t. I mean I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

  He gets up and walks across the room to sit on the floor beside me.

  “It doesn’t really matter what you meant by it Tyler, for real what you do or do not do, or have not done isn’t really my business anymore.”

  “It is.”

  I ignore his comment, pointing down at the page. The very first photo of Evan, ever taken.

  Tyler gets back up and grabs another shot of tequila handing it to me. This time it burns less going down. Tyler takes his with ease once more and takes a seat on his bed.

  “My back is bothering me, do you mind if we take a seat up here?”

  “Oh yeah, of course. Sorry I didn’t really think about that when I sat down here. Are you okay? DO you need some of your pain medication?”

  “No, somehow I don’t think it will mix with the alcohol.”

  “You are probably right.” I reply

  Tyler sits with his back against the padded bed post. I remain on the end of the bed.

  “This is the day he was born.” But before I can continue, I feel Tyler wrap his arm around my wrist.

  “Come sit up here, Lyss I won’t bite.”

  I do as he says, but I make it a point to sit as close to the edge away from him as possible.

  Of course he catches onto this and pulls me towards the center of the bed.

  I choose to ignore him, if I feed into it, he’ll only win on knowing he has made me uncomfortable.

  “So, as I was saying. This is the day that Evan was born. I went into labor in the middle of the night. I had no idea what was going on, until my water broke. Mom and Dad rushed me to the hospital, but he took 16 hours to finally make his grand appearance.”

  “That’s my boy, keeping everyone waiting.” Tyler muses

  “Yes, well 16 hours when my epidural didn’t work, I was exhausted and in terrible pain.”

&nb
sp; He doesn’t find this funny, instead he holds my hand as I flip through the first few pages. All of Evan’s first few days on Earth. Photo’s with my Mom and Dad, Matt and a few with Evan and Stacy when she was allowed to come out and visit.

  “What was he like when he was a baby?” Tyler asks gently

  “He was the sweetest, easiest baby. I thought he would be up all night long, but he honestly never was. A few times he would wake up, when we first brought him home, but once he was use to life on the ‘outside’ as Matt called it, he seemed to mellow out. He would wake up around 10 at night, before I would go to sleep and he would sleep until about 4am. By that time, Dad was getting up and ready for work and he would come in and grab Evan. He would feed him, change him and I would always wake up an hour later and find them sitting in the Laz-E boy chair watching Thomas. I think that is why Trains have always been Evans favorite.”

  We spend the next hour and 2 more tequila shots each, looking through the album of the last 3 years of our sons’ life. Tyler asks so many questions and I love answering them. I can tell that he isn’t asking to be polite, he is truly absorbing every single fact about his son that he missed out on.

  From Evan’s favorite color, to his favorite foods to what makes him throw a temper tantrum. It’s all important to him, and that is important to me.

  “You have done so good Alyssa. I am so sorry I wasn’t here for all of this, but I am very proud of you. You are an amazing Mom.”

  I have heard that before, Mom is always telling me how proud she is of me. Dad, who still buys me expensive journals to write in tells me that he is proud to call me his daughter. No one has ever made me feel like they were anything less than proud.

  But hearing Tyler say those words? The man who once upon a time was the most important person in my life. It makes me more emotional than I can explain. The tears begin to fall onto the plastic wrapped photos in the book on my lap.

  Tyler reaches over and takes the book from my hands, placing it on his bedside table.

  With his right hand, he reaches over and wipes the tears from my face gently, turning my head towards him in the process.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Alyssa.” He whispers, voice filled with emotion.

  “I know, I am being silly. It’s just that this hasn’t been easy. Being a single mom even with Mom and Dad helping has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done. None of my choices are just about me, I always have to think twice when making a decision, once for Evan and once for me. To hear you say that you understand how hard this has been, and that you appreciate all I have done. It means a lot. Seriously.”

  Tyler leans in and gently kisses me on the lips. It’s not a kiss that is asking for anything more. Maybe it is just to make me feel better, or to take my mind off the emotions currently running through me, onto the fact that he kissed me and should not have. Either way, it is not completely unwanted.

  “What do you want from me Tyler?” I sigh

  “Anything, everything.” His voice rises slightly.

  “I am engaged to Heath. I am going to marry Heath.” I remind him.

  Tyler lays down on his bed, pulling me down beside him. I turn my body away so I am not facing him.

  “Sweet, sweet Alyssa. You still don’t understand it all yet do you? You were created for me. God gave you and I a son together. I have loved you for nearly my entire life. Fate says that we are meant to be. The only one who doesn’t get it is you. You are my life. You and now Evan. I am not giving up on that again.”

  He reaches over and grabs my hand with the engagement ring on it.

  “I survived for you. When that man aimed his gun and fired at me, my very last thought was of you. I saw your beautiful face, and even though part of my brain was telling me to let go, that the pain was too much, my heart told me to fight for you. You are my entire reason for existence. So I don’t give a shit whose ring you are wearing. The only last name you will be taking, is mine!”

  He turns my body quickly so that I am facing him. Placing his lips upon mine once more, only this time it is much less gentle, no longer trying to distract me from my emotions, but rather encourage the emotions he wants to elicit from me.

  “I love you, I love you so much Alyssa.” He says between kisses.

  Finally I find the strength to push him off me.

  I should get up and go. That is what I need to do.

  Instead, I push Tyler so that he is laying on his back. I position my body so that I am directly on top of him. He reaches around me and grabs my hair into a fist with on hand, pulling my head so that my lips are against his, and so I cannot move.

  “Let go.” I demand, in a seductive whisper.

  He obeys.

  I begin kissing the side of his cheek, then down to his neck, his chest while my hand rubs back and forth along the waist band of his jeans.

  “I’m sure you have been with a million girls since you and I were together last, but I still don’t have a whole lot of experience. I… I mean, I haven’t had sex a whole lot.”

  It’s true. Heath and I have had sex, but he doesn’t like to do oral sex, or have it done to him, and most of the time I have Evan so unless we are able to get the nanny to watch him, we don’t have the time to mess around. He’s never pushed me though, he has behaved like he wants to, but never made me feel badly that we just didn’t have the time.

  “I love the sound of that, but I haven’t been with a single woman since I had you in my truck almost 4 years ago.”

  “You can’t be serious? You were the man whore of our high school.”

  He doesn’t laugh at my joke.

  “I slept with those girls so that I would stay the hell away from you. Every single one of them was to make me forget you and the fact that I couldn’t have you. I knew I wasn’t good enough for you, you were this perfect girl with all these dreams, and I was the guy who had a single mom who never made time for me. I had nothing to offer you, so I watched you from afar and took out all my sexual wants with the easy chicks in our school. But never doubt for one second that there was only one face I could see in each and every one of them. When I left you here, it was the same thing. The guys on the ship would run off with women on our stops, but not me. I had no interest. I just wanted you, even when I knew I couldn’t have you.”

  I feel like I could cry again, but instead of letting my emotions get the best of me yet again, I decide to take a different approach.

  I reach over and grab both of Tyler’s hands in mine. Pinning them above his head.

  “I don’t know if I am doing this right, but keep your hands up by your head. If you move I am done.”

  “Yes ma’am.” He groans.

  I reach into the waistband of his sweatpants. He has no boxers on, and brush against the side of his hard length.

  I feel the breath catch in my throat.

  When I wrap my hand around the entire length of him and release him from his pants, I hear the sound of Tyler sharply drawing in breath.

  “Shit.” He moans, as I open my mouth and take as much of him in, as far as I can go. His sounds fueling my bravery.

  I use his thighs to help keep me up, and begin slowly creating a rhythm encouraged by Tyler’s sounds.

  He’s shaking, so I know I am doing something right.

  It doesn’t take very long for him to finally come. He tries to warn me that he is close, but I ignore him, allowing every drop to slide down my throat, which causes him to let out yet another pleasing sound.

  “That was fucking epic, Alyssa.”

  I smile at his response.

  He grabs me by the hips and flips me over, pulling my pants down and off, tossing them across the room in one fluid motion.

  His hands brush up under my tank top, when he reaches my bra he stops. Sitting up so he can remove my shirt.

  Once he has taken it off, I feel vulnerable. Scared, that he won’t like what he sees. I have had a baby since the last time he saw me naked. My body is not the same a
t 21 as it was at 17.

  “You are just as beautiful as I remember.”

  I lean up and kiss him, causing him to lay down on top of me. Letting most of his weight rest on me.

  My bra and panties go next. I expect him to take his time with me, but instead he grabs a condom out of the side drawer, slides it on and pushes into me, stretching me.

  He starts moving in and out, at a slow and steady yet hard pace.

  You are so tight

  I love you so much

  I was such an idiot to ever leave you

  I love you

  “I love you too.” I manage to whisper back to him.

  He has his face in my shoulder whispering into my hair.

  Thank you.

  I need you

  You are mine

  He dips his hand between the two of us, confidently pressing down and drawing circles against my clit, bringing me to the brink of my orgasm. I have to turn my head into the side of his arm to catch my screams, biting him as I do.

  He follows quickly after me, swearing in pleasure his release.

  “Holy shit, that… God, I love you so much, that was the best thing I have ever felt.”

  I is lying on his back beside me. He reaches over and takes my hand into his. Kissing the back of my hand. “You are still the most beautiful girl in the world when you come.” He laughs

  I smile, suddenly feeling the intense need to close my eyes.

  I feel Tyler pull the covers over the both of us, he has turned on his side and is now holding me close against him.

  “I don’t care how long it takes, I will fight to make you mine again. I love you too much to ever let you go.” He whispers gently against my temple, kissing me before falling asleep himself.

  It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep behind him.

  Chapter thirty-eight

  I hear the clopping of dad’s work boots on the marble floor outside of the door.

  He must be getting ready for work.

  I turn over and see Tyler still sleeping soundly beside me.

  My heart drops, when I recall last night’s events.

  Shit. Heath. I cheated on Heath. I became that girl last night.