More Precious than a Crown

by Carol Marinelli

  ‘Trinity, I am sorry if my father upset you tonight but I have never lied, I have never tried to hide my truth.’ His eyes were accusing. ‘Unlike you.’

  ‘I’ve told you why I couldn’t tell you.’

  ‘Have you?’ Zahid said. ‘You tell me only the pieces you want me to know and at a time of your choosing.’

  ‘That’s not true.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Zahid asked, for she had lied about her workplace, her sexual history and he knew she had been in rehab too. ‘Are you sure you are as honest with me as I am with you?’

  Trinity tugged her arm away. She wanted to talk to him, to speak with Zahid, to tell the only person on this earth she could, just how deep her pain went, but for what? At a time of Zahid or the king’s choosing she’d be gone. She was scared too to tell him that she was starting to worry about her absent period. She doubted either of them would go unnoticed if they bought a pregnancy test!

  ‘What am I doing here, Zahid?’ It was like waking up from a dream. This morning she had been at her brother’s funeral, this afternoon she had found herself safe in his arms, and now she was walking deep in the night on a beach in Ishla. Trinity honestly didn’t know what part of the day had hurt the most—losing her brother, losing her heart or losing to this strange land. ‘Why did you bring me here?’

  ‘Because, given what you told me, I could not leave you with them.’

  ‘I can’t hide here for ever.’

  ‘I’m not asking you to hide.’

  The beach was as white as powder and the sea the colour of her bridesmaid’s dress but with more depth, and Trinity battled the urge to run along the beach and leave footprints or write their names in the sand and watch the ocean take them away.

  ‘It’s like paradise,’ Trinity sighed, ‘but with separate bedrooms.’

  They faced each other and it was simply wrong not to be in the other’s arms.

  ‘What do you want?’ Zahid asked.

  ‘To wake up and not fancy you any more,’ Trinity said. ‘For even the sound of your voice to annoy me.’

  ‘I hope for the same,’ Zahid said. They both smiled reluctantly. ‘Nag me.’ He smiled again.

  ‘Take up fishing and talk to me endlessly about it.’

  They both wanted a kiss, even a touch would do, but it could not happen here.

  Ever.

  CHAPTER TEN

  TRINITY WAS THE perfect guest.

  Well, not perfect, for the palace was a little less ordered when she was around.

  Zahid woke on the morning of his birthday to a folded piece of paper under his door and he was at first cross when he opened the makeshift card from Trinity, for she should not be wandering at night near his room.

  Her words wished him a happy birthday but there was the notable absence of kisses under her name, just a smiley face and two words.

  Better not!

  And there was a stick figure, Zahid with a fishing rod.

  He was no longer cross.

  Once he was dressed in full military regalia, Zahid glanced to his bedside where the paper card lay.

  Zahid did not keep mementos and he did not know what to do with this, for if he left it in his room, the maids would no doubt think it rubbish. If he put it in his drawer, perhaps it became more than it was.

  A memento.

  He pulled on long leather boots with a head that was pounding, for even dressed as heir to the throne, even about to greet his people, Zahid’s mind was full of her.

  He would decide what to do with the makeshift card later, Zahid decided, folding it and putting it in his pocket for now.

  As he walked briskly to his father’s study he met Trinity on the way.

  ‘Happy birthday, Captain.’ She smiled and though they stood a suitable distance apart as she teased him lightly about his uniform they were back on the dance floor and the dirty dance started again, when it must not.

  ‘Thank you for the card,’ Zahid said, ‘but it was unwise to come up to my room.’

  ‘Oh, well.’ Trinity shrugged.

  Zahid gave her a small nod and then walked off but his stride was temporarily broken when she wolf-whistled.

  Possibly he blushed.

  Possibly not, Zahid quickly decided. Most likely he was cross.

  ‘Where is Layla?’ Zahid asked, as he joined his father in his study.

  ‘She is late again,’ came the king’s curt response.

  They did not do ‘happy birthdays’.

  Layla was happily late. Besotted with Trinity and when she should be meeting with her father and brother, she smiled widely when Trinity knocked and Jamila, Layla’s handmaiden let Trinity into her room.

  ‘I got a message that you wanted to speak with me,’ Trinity said.

  ‘I want you to join me when I take one of my English classes.’

  ‘I’d be happy to.’ Trinity smiled.

  ‘Tomorrow,’ Layla said, Jamila finished doing her hair and make-up.

  ‘That would be lovely,’ Trinity said, for tomorrow Zahid dined with Princess Sameena and her family and it would be nice to have her mind on other things.

  ‘Walk with me,’ Layla said, and Trinity suppressed a smile, for she could not be offended by the way Layla ordered people around, she was completely used to getting anything she asked for. ‘We can talk on the way.’

  Layla told her about the students she taught and how much she enjoyed the contact, even if it was online. ‘It is by video call,’ she explained, ‘which means I can get to most of the schools. We have a lot of fun and they will be so excited to meet a real English girl.’

  ‘I’m excited to meet them too.’

  ‘They ask so many questions,’ Layla sighed. ‘Difficult ones.’

  ‘Such as?’

  ‘You’ll see,’ Layla said. ‘I had better hurry. I am already terribly late and my father will be cross that I am not already there.’

  He was, especially when a maid informed him that Layla was chatting with Trinity.

  ‘Just how long is your guest here for?’ Abdul checked as they went through the briefing for in a few moments they would walk onto the balcony.

  ‘I am not sure,’ Zahid said, ignoring Abdul’s slight eye rise, but the king spoke on.

  ‘Today there is much celebration in Ishla. Not only does the future king celebrate his birthday but work is to commence on the second palace.’ He looked at his son. ‘Soon the people will find out who their prince is to marry.’

  This time it was Zahid who asked Abdul if he could excuse them.

  ‘I would like the dinners to be postponed,’ Zahid said.

  ‘It is far too late for that. Princess Sameena and her family are joining us tomorrow,’ the king said. ‘And why would you want them postponed?’ He dared his son with his eyes to answer him.

  Zahid accepted the dare.

  ‘I would like to spend more time with Trinity.’

  ‘Before you make a commitment to marry a suitable bride?’ the king checked, and when Zahid did not answer he continued speaking. ‘Because you know that Trinity Foster would be a most unsuitable bride and one that the people would never accept.’

  ‘My answer to your question was the correct one. I would like to spend more time with Trinity.’ That was all Zahid wanted. Time for Trinity to get used to Ishla and perhaps see its beauty. Time in England as a couple to see if they could work things out.

  Time even to find out that they were not suited for each other, Zahid thought, recalling their conversation last night and the card in his pocket with the stick-figure picture on. He did his best not to smile.

  Yes, all he wanted was time, and he looked at his father. ‘You know I have never made a decision lightly.’

  ‘You understand the offence that would be caused if these dinners were postponed.’

  Zahid swallowed, for he did not want to make problems for his country. ‘I do.’

  ‘And you know that I want a wedding, so if I postpone these dinners then I shall invite th
e Fayeds for dinner next Sunday?’

  ‘Father.’ Zahid was not interrupting the king for his own benefit. Layla had just walked in unseen by the king and her eyes widened in horror as she heard what was being discussed. ‘Hassain too,’ the king continued. ‘I would like to speak first hand with the man who will soon marry my daughter.’

  ‘No!’ Layla screamed, and the king turned as she ran from the room.

  ‘Layla,’ Zahid roared as he went to chase his sister, but she had flown straight into a shocked Trinity’s arms.

  ‘What’s happening?’

  ‘Layla is overreacting,’ Zahid said. ‘Layla, what you heard was the end of a very difficult conversation...’ But Layla would not be consoled. ‘You need to calm down so we can go out to the balcony, and then I will explain properly.’

  ‘I’m not going out there,’ Layla sobbed.

  Abdul approached and told them that the king was making his way to the balcony and it was time for Zahid and Layla to join him.

  ‘No!’ Layla wept. ‘You can’t make me.’

  ‘Layla.’ Zahid was stern, for he was used to dealing with his sister’s dramas and all too often it fell to him to calm her down, but the reproach in his voice made Trinity shiver. ‘First you will do what is right then we will talk.’

  He ignored Trinity’s raised brows and the purse of her lips as Layla joined her brother, but he could not ignore the disquiet of standing, smiling at his people, as his sister stood, not scowling for the camera, as Trinity once had, but meek and fearful for her future, by his side.

  ‘You said I did not have to worry for a while...’ Layla said once they were back inside, but her voice trailed off as her father entered the room.

  The world, Zahid thought wearily, was far less complicated when it was faced without emotion.

  ‘I need an answer from you, Zahid,’ the king warned.

  ‘And I told you I do not make decisions lightly.’

  It was an impossibly long day. A formal lunch and then he inspected the army and later a semi-formal dinner that Trinity did attend, but she sat next to a red-eyed Layla. For once it was easy for Trinity to sit quietly, for she had a horrible taste in her mouth. A familiar, horrible taste in her mouth, and she took a sip of the fragrant tea at the end of the meal. It tasted like neat perfume.

  When would her period come?

  After dinner, when Trinity had excused herself to go to her room, Zahid asked to speak with Layla. It was not an easy conversation to have.

  ‘I asked Father if he could postpone the dinners so that I could spend more time with Trinity.’

  ‘You love her?’ Layla frowned, for she could not imagine her stern older brother falling in love, as his focus had always been his country.

  ‘You too!’ Zahid rolled his eyes. ‘I am supposed to give an immediate answer when I am trying to make up my mind what is for the best, not just by my people but by Trinity, by you too...’

  ‘Of course you love her,’ Layla challenged, ‘or you would not have brought her here and be asking to postpone dinners.’

  ‘Away from here, people date, they get to know each other, they see if their differences will work better together, or if they should be apart...’

  ‘You think I feel sorry for you?’ Layla sneered. ‘Well, I don’t. You are going to be king, of course you must marry a suitable bride, but at least you have known love in your lifetime, at least you got to be free for a while before you started your family.’ Layla started to cry. ‘So don’t ask me to understand how difficult things are for you when the man I will marry and spend all my life with is Hassain.’

  She ran crying to her room and Zahid walked in the grounds, but it did not relax him because the day replayed over in his head.

  He turned and looked as a noise disturbed him. He saw shutters open but he looked away when he realised it was Trinity’s suite.

  Perhaps she couldn’t sleep either, Zahid thought; perhaps the air in her room was as stifling as it was out here, for there was no escape from his thoughts.

  His eyes moved back to her window and he could only sigh as he watched her peek out and then turn.

  One foot, followed by the other.

  Zahid walked over quietly as Trinity shimmied down the short drop from her window.

  ‘Are you averse to using doors?’

  When she heard Zahid, Trinity jumped.

  ‘I wanted to go for a walk.’

  ‘So why use the window?’

  ‘I didn’t know if I could.’

  ‘It is not a prison.’

  ‘You told me this morning that I should not be wandering the palace at night.’

  ‘I meant you should not be near my room.’

  ‘Oh, please...’ Trinity started, then halted, for last night the temptation had been great to creep in. Not that she would tell him that. ‘There are so many rules, I’m never sure if I’m breaking one or not.’

  ‘Just be yourself.’

  ‘You’re not, though,’ Trinity pointed out. ‘I barely recognised you when you told Layla off this morning.’

  ‘Layla was upset. It was the only way to calm her down.’

  ‘Perhaps, but I don’t really know you at all, Zahid.’ He didn’t respond. ‘Does anyone?’

  ‘What do you want to know?’

  ‘You. What you think about things, how you feel, or are you going to tell me again that feelings are beneath you?’

  ‘I have not been fair to you,’ Zahid said, and stopped walking. ‘Perhaps it was easier to blame your past and your ways on the fact that we cannot have a future but it is more complicated than that.’

  ‘It is,’ Trinity said, ‘because even if I didn’t have a past I’m not sure I’d want...’ She gave a shrug and Zahid waited but Trinity didn’t say any more. Instead, it was Zahid who spoke on and told her a little of his family’s history.

  ‘My father was to choose Raina as his bride, a princess from a neighbouring land who is now Queen. The marriage would have profited our people, ensured swift progress. Instead, progress has been painfully slow.’

  ‘Why didn’t he choose her?’

  ‘My father walked into the room and saw my mother. She had been crying because she did not want a loveless marriage and to be chosen by the future king, but then their eyes met and she changed her mind. My father says she smiled at him and in that moment his choice was made.’

  ‘Did it cause problems?’

  ‘Many,’ Zahid said. ‘It caused division and even today relations are strained. That can be rectified now, though, if I choose Raina’s daughter, Sameena.’

  ‘Oh, so you do lie, Zahid!’ Trinity said. ‘You told me that you hadn’t chosen.’

  ‘I haven’t,’ Zahid said. ‘I would prefer not to go with the elders’ choice because one of the other potential brides comes from a country with a very organised army—’

  ‘I don’t want to hear,’ Trinity said, for she did not want to hear about any future wife, but she did want to know about the marriage of his parents and all the trouble that it had caused. ‘Were your parents happy?’

  ‘Yes, they were happy, while their people bore the cost of a decision made in a rash moment.’ Zahid shrugged. ‘And then, when my mother died, their king fell apart. That is what love does to a man. When I saw how my father crumbled on my mother’s death I decided I wanted no part in a marriage that made one so weak. My father could barely move from his bed. What if there had been trouble with neighbouring countries, what if there had been an emergency and decisions had been needed to be made? He was incapable.’

  ‘I doubt that could ever happen to you.’

  ‘I never thought it would happen to my father, yet it did,’ Zahid said. ‘I want no part in a love that renders you incapable.’

  It was a very backhanded way of revealing his feelings but Trinity just shrugged and started walking, thinking over his words. They actually made a lot of sense to her.

  ‘So you want your own Dianne?’

  ‘Excuse me?
’

  ‘Your own Dianne, standing smiling and plastic by your side and agreeing, without question, to whatever you decide.’

  ‘Do not compare me...’ He caught her arm and swung her round. It was rather a difficult conversation because to reveal the absolute insult that was meant that he had to criticise Trinity’s parents, but another Dianne was the very last thing he wanted from his wife. ‘I do not want that from a wife.’

  ‘You told me so yourself. You want a wife who will obey and serve without question,’ Trinity challenged. ‘That’s what my mother does, she stands idly by.’

  ‘Your father has made many mistakes.’

  ‘Oh, and you’re exempt from making them?’ Trinity checked. ‘I’m sure my father would insist he was only doing the best for his family and constituents, that my mother doesn’t understand what it takes to do the job he does. I’m quite sure if he loved her he wouldn’t have had those affairs and I’m quite sure he blames her for what happened to me. It was her side of the family after all.’

  Zahid stood there a touch breathless, furious at her challenge, reluctantly acknowledging her words.

  ‘I don’t want my past pardoned in some grandiose gesture,’ Trinity said, ‘only to be thrown back at me, and, no, I would never stand with a plastic smile, meekly accepting that you know best.’ She gave him a bright smile. ‘See, we’re completely incompatible, but it works both ways, Zahid. I don’t want your idea of a marriage. I want a love that burns and sometimes hurts, one that challenges me at every turn. I want a father for my children who does not hold onto his emotions, whatever the cost.’ The absence of her period had Trinity for once thinking ahead and what she saw was not pretty. ‘I don’t want a family tucked away in the second palace, with their father an occasional guest, till they come of age and can move to the main one...’

  ‘You don’t understand.’

  ‘I don’t, Zahid.’ She smiled a plastic smile that infuriated him. ‘But that’s okay—clearly, I don’t have to. I just have to agree to your ways.’

  ‘I would always do the right thing by my family but there are rules in place and those rules mean I must do the right things by my people.’