Diaries of a Heartbroken Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Collection

by Hamilton, Hanna

  Daniel led her to the chairs by the fire and they sat.

  “It was indeed a terrible storm. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The winds were so fierce they snapped the masts and we were totally unable to maneuver the ship and soon capsized. There was no time to launch the lifeboats, and we were all tossed into the pounding waves. I was certain I had but a few moments of life left. But somehow one lifeboat broke free from the sinking ship and a number of us were able to scamper aboard and head for a nearby island where we landed and sought refuge.

  “The Admiralty assumed all were lost, as the island where we landed was uninhabited and we had no way to make contact until we were rescued by another British ship that had anchored to take on fresh water.”

  “Oh, Daniel… what a story. And now you’re back.”

  She stood up and went over to him and made him stand so she could take him in her arms. She held him so tightly he had trouble breathing and he removed her arms, laughing.

  “So you’re glad to see me then?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes, Daniel. You know I am.” But suddenly, in the midst of her excitement at Daniel being alive, she remembered John and his ardent passion for her. But she forced that thought from her mind. “And Katherine and your dear family must be so happy that you are alive and home.”

  “Not happier than I am.”

  “Then what’s next? Another assignment? Another ship?”

  Daniel looked down and was thoughtful. “Susan… during my escape from death and, during my sequestration on that island, I thought of nothing but you and what was most important to me in my resurrected life.” Daniel took her hand and led her to the sofa where they sat. “Susan, I’ve decided to leave the navy.”

  “Oh, Daniel… Are you certain? It means so much to you.”

  “Not anymore. You have no idea what it was like to be lost at sea and living on a barren island with just a few companions. The life at sea is not worth it to me anymore.”

  “But what will you do? The sea is all you’ve known.”

  “But I do know ships and boats and I have a friend in Portsmouth who builds them and he’s looking for a partner. He asked me some time ago if I’d be willing to join him. I’ll have some money from the navy when I leave and I’ll use that to invest in the business.”

  “Daniel, that sounds wonderful,” Susan said enthusiastically.

  Daniel looked deep into her eyes. “And I want you to be with me. Susan Wilton, will you finally make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?”

  Chapter 26

  Susan stood in Clarissa’s room, with her back to the door, breathing heavily. She was tingling all over and tried to gather her wits and calm down.

  “He’s alive. Daniel is alive,” she shouted.

  Clarissa was at her desk and put her hand to her mouth in astonishment. “Oh, my dear child—a miracle.”

  “He was just here, and he asked me to marry him again,” she blurted out.

  “What splendid news. And did you accept?” Clarissa asked.

  Susan was still in shock. This was all too much to assimilate in such a short time. She was unsure what to say.

  “Susan? Are you going to accept his proposal?” she asked again.

  “I don’t know,” she said softly.

  “What did you tell him? Is he still here?”

  Susan went over to Clarissa’s desk and pulled up a chair to sit near her. “No, he’s gone for now. I told him I was too much in shock and I needed time to think about it. He’s agreed to give me time but insists he’ll be back soon.”

  “Susan, what startling news. You must be in a great deal of turmoil right now.”

  “I certainly am. But it’s not just the surprise of seeing Daniel, though…”

  “Really? What else?”

  Susan was unsure if she should tell Clarissa, but she desperately needed to talk to someone about what else was happening to her.

  “John and I… we’ve developed feelings for each other.”

  “Susan… You and John?”

  She nodded. “John declared his love when we were walking. And he was most sincere. But I said I wasn’t quite over my feelings for Daniel, and I asked him to please wait. But that was before Daniel’s return. And now Daniel has asked me to marry. Clarissa, I’m totally confused.”

  “And do you have feelings for John?”

  “Yes, I do. Is that terrible of me?”

  “Not at all. How could you not? You are so compatible and you both share a love for Elizabeth which can’t help but bind you even closer together.”

  “Clarissa, what should I do? Tell me.”

  Clarissa laughed. “Oh, my darling, you know I can’t tell you that. That is something you’re going to have to work out by yourself.”

  “It’s not fair,” she said with a pout. “I was just about to accept John… and now this.”

  “Then you still have feelings for Daniel?”

  “I’m surprised, but I do.” She glanced at Clarissa’s clock and became flustered. “And now it’s lesson time and I must fetch Elizabeth.”

  She sighed and headed for the door, but turned and said, “And if you’re blessed with any life changing insights for me in the next hour or two, please let me know.”

  * * *

  John found Simon at breakfast earlier that same morning.

  “Brother, are you free anytime this morning?” John asked.

  “I am.”

  “Then might you join me later in the library? I have a couple of things of importance I’d like to discuss with you.”

  “And I with you,” Simon said.

  * * *

  John was going through bills when Simon knocked and entered.

  “Don’t you keep a fire in here?” Simon asked. “It’s freezing.”

  “Oh, sorry, the footman who keeps the fires tripped and fell this morning on his rounds and his work was interrupted. Toss on a bit of wood if you like, there should be enough embers.”

  Simon did so.

  “Come, I’d very much like to go over some ideas I have for your future,” John started.

  “Please, let me know,” Simon said as he plopped into a chair opposite John’s desk.

  “Let me start first by asking you if you’ve given any thought to your future here at Haverford? Is there anything that particularly appeals to you?”

  Simon didn’t look up right away, seeming to consider what he wanted to say. “I don’t have a lot of experience, John, in running sheep. I’m afraid my expertise and past experience lie in the areas of sleeping late, lounging, visiting ladies for tea, gossiping at the theater, and drinking. Do you have anything along those lines?”

  John laughed. “And you might add stealing from your brother.”

  “And that too,” Simon said sheepishly.

  “There must have been something useful you tried your hand at. Then how have you supported yourself these past few years? What you stole from me could not have lasted that long.”

  “No, not long. I actually found some investors and ran a small import-export business. It wasn’t great, but I managed until it went bust and I ended up in that hovel you found me in.”

  “Hmm. You know Susan and I are opening a school for the children of the village?”

  “You’ve mentioned that.”

  “And I was thinking you might oversee the school’s conversion from a house to a school.”

  “Yes, I could do that.”

  “Susan is a wonderful teacher and that is her main focus. What would you also say to running the school?”

  “Manage it?”

  “You’d be the Headmaster. Run all the administration. No sheep involved.”

  “Hmm. Sounds interesting.”

  “We’ve been discussing expanding the school beyond the village children and opening it up to the larger community as a day or boarding school. There’d be a lot of management involved. Is that something that might interest you?”

  “Very well might. Would
I need to live there?”

  “Not at all. You’d live here. And if we were to eventually become a boarding school, we’d hire someone to oversee the children at night.”

  “And I’d be paid?”

  “Of course. I promised you a living and this would be a nice one.”

  “I’d like to speak to Susan about this. I want to hear what her ideas are for the school.”

  “Certainly. Then is it something you might enjoy?”

  “I’d very much like to think about it first.”

  “I understand.”

  Simon then asked, “If I didn’t take the position would you still provide me with a living? What if I wanted to go back to London?”

  That gave John pause for thought. “Wouldn’t that just be a repeat of the situation that got you into trouble before?”

  “Not the best idea. But for argument’s sake, what else might be available for me to do besides sheep dipping at Haverford?”

  “There’s a position open for a footman,” John said with a smirk.

  “Think I’ll pass on that.”

  “There is one other thing?”

  “Yes?”

  “The village is in desperate need of repairs. Besides helping with the finish out construction work at the school, you might oversee the renovation of the village. There’s a lot that needs doing there. Talk to Susan about that, she’s had an earful from the mothers of the village about what needs to be done.”

  Simon stood up from the chair and went to throw another log on the fire. Then he turned to John again.

  “And there’s another matter I wanted to tell you,” John said.

  “You’re going to marry Susan, aren’t you,” Simon said smiling.

  “Oh no. But I have expressed my feelings toward her?” a surprised John said. “What made you say that?”

  “It’s so obvious. You two… Transparent as window glass.”

  “Really?”

  Simon took a couple of steps back and put his hands in his pockets.

  “John, I have something to add to that.”

  “Oh?”

  “Miss Fitz and I…” he said, afraid to speak the rest.

  “Seriously? Fitz? Simon…”

  “No, listen. I know what she is. But underneath is this vulnerable little girl. You’ve not seen it, but I have. What you see is her façade. It’s all show and bluster. But I’ve seen who she really is, and it’s tender and lovely.”

  “Hmm. Are you certain about that?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what are your intentions, might I ask?”

  “Not immediately—but eventually, I’d like her to become my wife. And I want you to be patient with her. Give her a chance to drop her act and reveal her true self.”

  “That might take a leap of faith. I must say, I don’t see that, but I’m willing to be proved wrong.”

  “Then leave it to me, and I will convince you. Give us time. Don’t make her feel threatened. Back off making her feel she’s not welcome. Can you do that?”

  “For you, Simon, I’ll try.”

  * * *

  “But how is that possible?” John asked in utter shock.

  He stood up from his desk and walked over to Susan who had just come into the library and announced that Daniel was still alive.

  Susan relayed the story, and added, “It’s come as the most astounding surprise, as you can imagine.”

  John was so astonished he didn’t know how to respond. He turned from Susan and went to the window to find some calm by looking out at the park.

  “And I expect he has renewed his suit to you?” he asked.

  “Yes,” Susan answered softly.

  “And what about us? Do I have any chance with you at all?” he asked, still staring out the window.

  Susan came over to him from behind and put a hand on his shoulder.

  “John, I am in utter turmoil. How can I deny what I feel for you? How can I deny what I feel for him?”

  John turned to her, both terrified and furious—not with her but with the situation. “But Susan that’s a decision you’re going to have to make.

  “I know that.”

  “And what about Elizabeth? Have you given her welfare any of your consideration?” he asked.

  “Oh, John, you know I have. But please be patient with me. I can’t make such an important decision until I get over the shock of his return, and until I come to some peace and understanding within myself.”

  John felt his only hope with her was to be patient, and he asked with apprehension about the answer, “Answer me honestly, do you still have any feelings for me at all?”

  “Oh, my dear, John. You know I do.”

  “And I hope whatever you decide will not affect your care for Elizabeth and your work on the school.”

  Susan hesitated. “If I were to marry Daniel, I would most likely need to move with him to Portsmouth where his new business is located.”

  “Oh, Susan… all that we’ve planned together…” He was too overwhelmed to say any more.

  “John, my dearest…” she put her hand on his arm and hung her head.

  * * *

  It was mid-afternoon just before Elizabeth’s nap time and they were practicing writing printing letters when Standish came to the door, knocked and entered.

  “Miss Susan, Captain…”

  But he was interrupted as Daniel pushed past him into the schoolroom.

  “Susan, please, I must speak with you immediately,” he wailed.

  He was no longer wearing his uniform but was dressed casually—his hair tousled and unkempt. His eyes had dark circles and he was unshaven.

  “Daniel, I’m in the midst of teaching.” She checked the clock. “I shall be finished in half an hour. Please wait for me in the drawing room.”

  Standish attempted to lead Daniel away, but he brushed Standish off.

  “Now, please. I must speak to you now.”

  “Very well.” She turned to Elizabeth. “We’ll have our nap time a little early today, my dear.”

  Elizabeth looked up. “I don’t mind.”

  Susan turned to Standish. “It’s all right, Standish. I’ll be fine.”

  “Very good, Miss,” he said and withdrew.

  Susan took Elizabeth by the hand and said to Daniel, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

  When Susan returned, Daniel was standing at the window overlooking the park.

  “Daniel, you look distraught, please tell me what’s troubling you.”

  Daniel began pacing the room. “Susan, I’m in such distress,” he said, looking at her wild eyed.

  She went over to him and put her hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him.

  “Daniel, why? Has something happened? Tell me.”

  “I don’t know if it’s some sort of a reaction to my ordeal at sea, or my leaving the navy, but I can’t calm myself.”

  “What about your new ship building venture? Have you seen your friend?”

  “I’m to go down to Portsmouth in a few days.”

  “But none of that matters.” He grabbed hold of Susan’s hands. “Susan, it’s you. You are what’s really troubling me?”

  She was a little startled. “But Daniel, why?”

  “Do you have an answer for me, Susan? Will you marry me? I can’t imagine going forward in my life without you.”

  Susan broke from his grasp and stepped back.

  “Daniel, please. This is no way to behave. You’re distraught, and I can understand that with all you’ve gone through, but I cannot answer you when you are in such a state.”

  “Do you no longer love me?” he demanded.

  Daniel’s agitation was affecting her, but she didn’t want to make this momentous decision while he was in this state.”

  She put both of her hands on his shoulders, and said, “Daniel, please, I beg you to be patient with me. Just as your adventure has been a shock and taken a toll on you, your unexpected return has been a shock to me.”

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nbsp; He saddened, seemed to deflate, and calmed down.