Diaries of a Heartbroken Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Collection

by Hamilton, Hanna

  “But you have responsibilities…”

  “None that would preclude me from marrying you. If that is what you want. Susan Wilton will you be my wife?”

  Susan was shivering in the cold—or was it passion and excitement?

  “But there is another person to be considered first.”

  “Elizabeth?”

  “Yes. I will consent if she totally agrees with this. But I want you to speak to her first—alone. I don’t want my presence to influence what she has to say in any way.”

  John nodded. “Yes, but I think I already know what her answer will be.”

  “That’s as it may be. But I want you to do this. I would not only be coming into your life but hers as well. Will you do this for me?”

  “I will, and as soon as I get her permission, I will go to see your mother and father and seek their blessing. I want this to be done correctly. I want you to be happy and at peace with our engagement.”

  “But wait… there is one other matter,” Susan said.

  “What is that?”

  “I must speak to Katherine and her family before there’s any announcement. I owe it to them and to Daniel. Katherine is my very dearest friend and I want her blessing as well. As difficult at that might be for her.”

  “I understand. But know this—I love you, Susan.”

  “And I love you John Chamberlain, Duke of Lennox.” Susan suddenly blanched. “Oh my, I’m going to be the Duchess, am I not.”

  “Yes, you will be, Your Grace.”

  Susan burst out laughing. “Me… a duchess. How ridiculous. I shall never know how to behave.”

  “In no way different than you do now. You are just perfect as you are.”

  Susan snuggled in closer. “I don’t know about you but I’m freezing and I’m ready for breakfast. I’ve not eaten since yesterday noon.

  Chapter 28

  Susan could barely wait to tell Clarissa the news. She also wanted to rush right off and tell Katherine, but this was not the best time as she knew the family would still be consumed with Daniel’s breakdown.

  She was tingling all over and retired to her room, before teaching, to gather her wits and calm down. She sat in the window seat and looked at the park to steady herself. Could this really be happening? The idea of being a duchess was so totally foreign to her as to be in the realm of absurdity.

  And then she considered how she might be able to benefit her family by this marriage. She thought she might ask John to forego the living she brought to the marriage, as it was so little. But it would be a welcome addition to her family’s modest income.

  She checked the clock and it was near time to fetch Elizabeth but went first to visit Clarissa.

  “He asked me to marry him,” Susan said, standing before Clarissa who was seated at her desk.

  Clarissa looked up. “Daniel?”

  “No, John,” Susan explained about her sad meeting yesterday with Daniel.

  “And you’ve accepted John’s proposal?”

  Susan nodded.

  Clarissa reached out both her hands for Susan to take. “My dear child, how absolutely wonderful. Now I shall truly be your aunt and you my niece. When is the wedding?”

  “We’ve not decided yet. He must first speak to Elizabeth, and then my parents. And I must break the news to Katherine and her family. That will be difficult. They may feel I’ve betrayed Daniel or even their family.”

  “But certainly they will understand—considering his condition. You must be expected to move on. They can’t begrudge you that.”

  “It’s a delicate matter, and I must be sensitive as to how I tell them.”

  “But you will, my dear. There is no one more aware of other’s feelings than you.”

  “Thank you. But I must go to Elizabeth now. It’s time for lessons.”

  “Go. But know that I almost feel like it’s my wedding again. I am so excited for you. I hope you’ll let me help in planning the wedding.”

  “I’d like that.”

  * * *

  John carried Elizabeth in his arms. He was taking her to her room as it was her bedtime. Her head rested on his shoulder and she yawned. John patted her back.

  “Tell me a story,” Elizabeth, said, yawing again.

  The covers were already pulled back like another yawn as John slipped her into the bed and pulled up the covers, tucking them around her neck.

  “Once upon a time there was a country girl named Susan,” he began. Elizabeth blinked. “And there was a mean old prince named, John.”

  “He wasn’t a mean prince,” Elizabeth insisted.

  “Very well, he wasn’t mean—he was as sweet as a piece of honeycomb.”

  “With extra sugar on top.”

  “Who’s telling this story?” John asked, as he leaned in and blew a wet blowing kiss on her neck.

  “You are,” she wiggled. “Go on tell me the story.”

  “And this country girl…”

  “Susan.”

  “Susan went to teach the sad prince’s daughter.”

  “He was sad?”

  “He was at the time.

  “Poor prince.”

  “And this poor prince had been sad for a long, long time until the magical Susan came into the house.”

  “And she made him happy?” she added.

  “She did. She made him very, very happy.”

  “And she made the prince’s daughter happy too, didn’t she?”

  “What do you think? Did she?”

  “Yes. Yes. She did.”

  “And the prince decided that he loved this Susan so much he asked her to marry him.”

  “And what did she say?”

  “She said yes, but only if the prince’s daughter agreed.”

  “And did she?”

  “What do you think?” John asked.

  “That’s a totally silly question. Of course, she agreed.”

  “Are you certain about that?”

  “Absolutely certain. And they married and lived happily ever after. Is that the rest of the story?”

  “One would like to think so.”

  “I like that story, you have to tell it to me again,” Elizabeth said with another yawn.”

  “Good-night. Sleep tight, sweetheart,” John said leaning in and giving her a kiss.

  But she didn’t answer as she was already asleep.

  * * *

  “Have you written your parents that we’re coming for a visit?” John asked Susan as they were having breakfast together the next morning.

  “I sent a note saying that I was coming. I didn’t want to mention you or what the reason was. If I told them that, they would become frantic, trying to prepare a lavish welcome for you, and I don’t want that. I want them to get to know you for who you are—all they could see right now is the Duke,” Susan replied.

  “What would you think about taking Elizabeth with us?”

  “Have you spoken to her yet about the marriage?” Susan asked.

  John smiled. “Indirectly, yes.”

  “And what did she say?”

  “As we expected, she supports us without reservation.”

  “I’ll talk to her too. And yes, we should take her. My family enjoyed her so much when I visited them while you were in London. If we’re going to be a family, it’s good that we do things together as a family.”

  “Did you set a date for when we’ll be coming?” John asked as she rose up from the table.

  “I left it open. I just said sometime next week.”

  “Excellent. Let me know when you want to go and I’ll make myself available.”

  Susan hesitated, but said, “I’ll need to visit with Katherine as well—alone. I want her to be my chief bridesmaid, and it’s going to be difficult to tell her we’re getting married.”

  “Perhaps you can visit her while I get to know your parents.”

  Susan stood up from the table and went to John placing her hands on his chest. “My dear, man. It’s difficult for me t
o believe we’re doing this. It’s still so unreal to me.”

  John took her hands. “Fear not, my dear, it is real.” Then he kissed her on the forehead.

  * * *

  It was time. Aunt Clarissa went to her dresser and removed a letter hidden under a stack of undergarments. She looked at the front of the letter. It was addressed to John in Annabel’s handwriting.

  She found John speaking with Standish in the kitchen.

  “Hello, Aunt,” John said when he saw her come into the room. “Did you wish to see me?” She nodded. “I’ll be right with you.”

  He turned back to Standish, finished his conversation, and then came over to her.

  “Nephew, I have something for you,” she said gravely.

  “Oh?”

  She reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter. “This was given to me by Annabel before Elizabeth’s birth and she asked me to keep it until you ever married again. It’s time now you should have this.” And she handed him the letter.

  He seemed to be shocked. “How did she know..?”

  Aunt gave John a hug. “Read the letter.”

  * * *

  John went up to his rooms, looking at the letter addressed to him. He recognized his wife’s handwriting, but he couldn’t open it immediately.

  He closed the door and went over to the window, gazing at the park. His mind went back to the time of Elizabeth’s birth. Why had she written this? How could she know she would not survive the birthing?

  He opened the letter.

  My Beloved,

  If you are reading this, then I am gone. It may be a year after. It may be many, but in either case, I hope you do read this because it means you have moved on and are about to become a husband again. And you have my blessing for that. I am sure she must be the very worthiest of ladies or you would not be marrying her.

  I have asked Aunt Clarissa to keep this letter for you until this time. And you may wonder why I am writing this now. After all, I am about to give birth to our first child. Why would such an event prompt me to write this, you might ask? But as I near the due date, I feel that something is wrong with the pregnancy. I can’t say why, and I couldn’t even explain to Doctor Richards why I feel this. But I know there is a danger.

  If the birth goes well I shall destroy this letter and we will continue in our happy life together. If not…then…

  But my dearest husband and friend, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul and have had the happiest life possible with you.

  I knew you were my true love when we first met that fateful night in my father’s house. An arranged marriage. I expect you dreaded that as much as I did. But when we finally met I knew the graces had brought us together. And for that, I am forever grateful.

  In closing know I love you—then, now, and forever.

  Your Loving and Devoted Wife,

  Annabel

  John’s heart swelled and he burst into tears—unexpressed tears that belched from the well of grief that still lay deep within him. And as he sobbed, he felt the last savage vestiges of anger and sorrow begin to melt away. It was the last gift he would receive from his first wife.

  * * *

  Elizabeth was sitting on her father’s lap as the carriage drove toward Susan’s family home. She had ribbons in her hair that Susan had lovingly woven into a crown atop her head. She was excited to be visiting Susan’s parents again. She’d had such a fun time when she’d been there before.

  “Are your sister and brother’s families going to be there too? Elizabeth asked.

  “No, dear, just my Mamma, and Papa. It’s going to be a short visit. We want your father to meet my parents and tell them about our engagement.”

  “That’s nice. Will there be candy?”

  “Perhaps. Mamma always has a few surprises tucked away somewhere in the house.”

  The carriage arrived at the Wilton house and Mamma came out to greet them.

  “Where’s Papa,” Susan asked as she stepped out of the carriage.

  “He’s in the barn. I’ll go find him.”

  Then John stepped out of the carriage with Elizabeth and Mamma stopped short.

  “Oh, Your Grace… We weren’t expecting you.” She curtsied.

  “Mamma, we didn’t want a fuss. We just want to have a chat with you.”

  Mamma seemed flustered. She turned in several circles and then headed toward the barn, calling out, “I’ll just fetch your father, and we’ll be right back. Go on inside.”

  “Let me go with you,” Elizabeth screamed, as she jumped out of John’s arms and ran after Mamma.

  “Elizabeth!” John shouted. But she was gone.

  “She’ll be fine,” Susan insisted, laying her hand on John’s arm, and then took it, as she led him inside.

  Papa came into the sitting room first, drying his hands with a towel after washing them in the kitchen.

  “Your Grace,” he said bowing slightly, “Care for a smoke? Got me some fresh tobacco.”

  “No thank you, but please yourself. We just stopped by to give you all some good news.”

  Mamma came trotting in from the kitchen carrying a bowl of soup. “Have you eaten? Have some soup. Just made it this very morning.”

  “Mamma, stop,” Susan insisted. “We don’t need anything. We just want to talk to you and tell you our good news.”

  “Oh.” Mamma seemed flustered and didn’t know what to do with the bowl, so she returned to the kitchen and came back with Elizabeth trailing behind her.

  “Sit, both of you,” Susan ordered.

  “You have news?” Mamma asked, wide eyed and breathless.

  John stood and addressed her parents, “Squire… Mrs. Wilton, I’ve come to formally ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

  * * *

  When the uproar was over, after the announcement to her parents, Susan whispered to John she was going to see Katherine. He nodded and turned back to her parents to tell them the tale of their romance.

  Susan was more than apprehensive as she headed toward Katherine’s home. She arrived in the village and knocked on the family’s door.

  Katherine’s mother answered. She looked surprised. “Oh, Susan,” she cried out and burst into tears.

  “Mrs. Howe…” Susan said embracing her.

  “Come in. I’m sorry. It was just such a shock seeing you after…”

  “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was coming, as it was somewhat last minute. Is Katherine in?”

  “Oh, yes. She’s in the kitchen.”

  Mrs. Howe led Susan to Katherine, who looked up in surprise and then smiled. “Oh, Susan… I’ve missed you so much.” She rushed over and took Susan in her arms.

  “How are you doing?” Susan asked.

  “Well enough. It’s been a difficult time, but things are leveling out now that Daniel’s getting treatment. Did you come to see your parents?” she asked, wiping her hands on her apron.

  “Yes, and you. Do you have time to sit with me for a spell? I need to talk to you,” Susan asked.

  “Of course, do you want some tea?”

  “Not now. Mamma has been trying to ply us with soup all morning.”

  “Us?” Katherine asked.

  “Yes, and that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

  “Oh… all right. Let’s go to my room. There’s a nice fire there.”

  They went to Katherine’s room.

  “Come sit with me. I’ve missed you so much since Daniel’s breakdown,” she said.

  “And how is he doing?”

  “It’s too early to know. But the institute’s doctors are hopeful that he might eventually recover. Although they say it may never be fully.”

  “I’m so very sorry. I know your family must be devastated.”

  “It’s like losing him all over again,” Katherine said, tucking her legs under her, as she settled into the sofa.

  Susan sat beside her and took her hands, looking into her eyes.