Anything for Her Family

by Sharon De Vita

  “Raymond may have worked for my father for years, but obviously he didn’t know my dad very well.” Pausing to take a breath, she slipped her trembling hands in her jeans pockets so she wouldn’t reach for Jared. She wanted him to hold her right now, hold her and tell her everything was all right. Looking at him, she knew nothing would ever be all right again.

  “My father pressed charges against Raymond. He didn’t have a choice.” She managed a watery smile. “If you knew my father, you’d understand.” She shrugged. “He’d worked a lifetime building a successful contracting business and reputation. He subsequently learned that Raymond had been taking kickbacks—bribes—in order to award business to vendors. It was a nightmare, Jared, just a nightmare,” she said with a sad shake of her head.

  “My father was both humiliated and ashamed, and I felt guilty. Guilty because it was my husband, after all, who’d done these horrible things to my father.” Lifting a hand, she brushed away tears, wishing she could brush away the shame. “When my father finally realized the extent of Raymond’s business dealings, well, that’s when he pressed charges, and my ex-husband was arrested.”

  Taking a slow, deep breath, and then forcing it out of her aching lungs, Natalie pushed her hair off her face, then continued. “Raymond wanted me to bail him out, but I refused. The twins had just turned two and I’d realized long before that that our marriage was over. I realized I’d never really known Raymond. He conned me just like he had my father. But then again, he’d had years of experience. He kept calling me, asking me—begging me—to bail him out. I kept refusing. He went from begging to threatening.” She ran her hands up and down her suddenly chilled arms. “I guess a friend bailed him out because one day I came home from the grocery store and he was sitting in the kitchen. He asked me—begged me—to go to my father and ask him to drop the charges.” The memories were so painful, she had to stop for a moment, pressing a hand to her forehead, then forced herself to continue in spite of the nausea that was threatening. “I absolutely refused. I was ashamed of what he’d done, ashamed that he was my husband, and more than anything else, ashamed that he was the twins’ father. I’d made a very bad mistake in judgment and because of it…” Her voice hitched, and she pressed a hand to her mouth to stop the sobs, struggling for control. She took another deep breath. “Because I’d made a fatal error in judgment, my poor father and my precious sons would suffer.” Slowly, she lifted her gaze to Jared’s. He was watching her intently, quietly, not moving. Just watching. But his eyes were glazed with something she couldn’t identify, and his fists were still clenched tightly at his sides.

  “Raymond never had much interest in the twins. They were merely an inconvenience to him, but he knew they were my life.” Her throat clogged again, but she forced herself to continue. “Raymond told me if I didn’t ask my father to drop the charges—if I didn’t make him do so— I’d live to regret it.” Natalie shut her eyes, which were swimming with tears she could no longer hold back. She shook her head, desperately trying to hang on. “I didn’t take him seriously,” she whispered, her voice strained. Still in denial, she shook her head. “It was another fatal error in judgment on my part.” Her voice had dropped to barely a whisper.

  “Two days later Raymond stole the twins from their play group and disappeared.” The tears came flooding now, coursing down her cheeks. Natalie didn’t bother to wipe them away. “That was the last time I saw my boys.” She sniffled, pressing a hand to her heart again because it ached so. “I was frantic—terrified. Raymond was obviously desperate. I had no idea what he might do to the boys. I thought—I actually thought I might lose my mind from grief, from fear, from loss.” Now her own fists clench and she began to pace again, unable to stand still. “I swore I’d find my children, swore that I wouldn’t let Raymond get away with this. My babies were innocent, and he’d used them as pawns in a vicious game of revenge and intimidation.” Natalie paused in front of the fire, blindly watching it, lost in her own thoughts.

  Jared stared at her, stunned, his emotions torn, his heart aching for her. Part of him wanted to go to her, to take her in his arms and hold her, to protect her from the pain that was so visible it was like a living thing crawling over her, touching every inch of her.

  He couldn’t bear to see the fear in her eyes, hear it in her voice, couldn’t bear the thought that someone had violated her in such a way, bullied her, threatened her with something that was almost unspeakable.

  The white-hot rage that had coursed through him, hazing his vision and tightening his fists, shifted to her ex-husband, to the man who had stolen her children and put her through hell. The urge to put his fist through the nearest wall was strong, but Jared resisted it. He’d learned long ago that neither anger nor violence solved anything. But he wasn’t so controlled that the temptation wasn’t there.

  What kind of man stole his own children for revenge? he wondered.

  What kind of man had so little regard for two innocent lives that he could rip toddlers from their mother and then put them up for adoption? To a man to whom family meant everything, such actions were incomprehensible.

  But he was also wary because Natalie had deliberately lied to him from the very first day, and he still didn’t know why.

  The unanswered question was like a dagger pointed at his heart, stopping him from taking any action.

  “My father died of a heart attack less than a year later,” she said softly, turning from the fire to face Jared, her eyes glazed with tears. “He blamed himself for the boys’ abduction. I told him repeatedly it wasn’t his fault, that he had no control over Raymond’s actions. No one did. No one knew how dangerous or delusional Raymond had become. No one could have predicted that he’d use the boys as pawns to get back at me—at us.” She shook her head. “My father couldn’t take the guilt or the stress. When Raymond abducted the boys everything came out. His embezzlement became public knowledge. Dad’s customers apparently lost confidence in him and took their business elsewhere. He had to file for bankruptcy.” Sniffling, Natalie began pacing again. “I think that was the last straw for my father. The stress of the situation caused him to have a massive heart attack.” She lifted her gaze to Jared’s, her eyes stricken, her heart in tatters. “He died instantly,” she said, her voice a whisper of agony.

  Jared’s arms ached and his fists clenched. He wanted to go to her, to hold her, to comfort her, but he couldn’t. His own heart was aching over her betrayal and he simply couldn’t seem to get past it.

  He watched as Natalie took a moment to compose herself, rubbing her chilled arms again, pacing the length of the living room as if needing to move, to do something so she wouldn’t simply collapse in a heap.

  “After all Dad’s expenses, there wasn’t much left, but I used every last penny I had to search for the boys. I hired a private investigator and I’ve spent the last three years of my life trying to find them.”

  “And you did.” His voice sounded so strained, he almost didn’t recognize it. Emotions churned through him, tearing him in two. He couldn’t ever remember being so conflicted before. Couldn’t remember ever feeling so torn up inside.

  “Yes.” Natalie forced herself to hold his gaze. “I found my sons.”

  Stunned, staggered, Jared merely stared at her, wondering how she’d survived.

  Losing her children… Jared dragged a hand through his hair, glanced at her, saw that her face had drained of all color. He wanted to go to her, yet his heart simply wouldn’t allow it

  She’d lost her children! It was difficult to comprehend. The mere thought was utterly incomprehensible. He knew how he felt about the boys, knew how he’d feel if they suddenly disappeared from his life.

  He’d go mad, because the boys were his life.

  There was no end to the depth of his love for the twins. None. Losing them was so incomprehensible he couldn’t even begin to fathom how Natalie had coped.

  But he didn’t trust what he was feeling right now. Not for her.

&n
bsp; She’d deliberately tricked him.

  Broken his heart by betraying it.

  “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?” he asked quietly, so quietly she wanted to put her head in her hands and weep.

  “I couldn’t, Jared. I simply couldn’t.” Her breathing felt labored and her chest actually hurt from tension. “Only hours after the boys disappeared Raymond called. He wanted to gloat, but he also warned me that he’d be watching me, and that if I ever tried to find him or the boys, he’d make them pay.” Reluctantly, she looked up at Jared. “I couldn’t take the chance, not after he’d abducted them. I simply couldn’t risk telling you the truth. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth—that I’d finally found my children. I simply wouldn’t risk it.” She wouldn’t apologize for trying to protect her children, not after her failure to do so had caused them all such life-altering grief. She looked at Jared, wondering if he would ever understand, if he’d even try.

  She knew she’d hurt him, knew that her deliberate lies had shaken his faith, his trust in her. But he had to see she had her reasons—good reasons. She never would have betrayed him otherwise. Never. She loved him, deeply, desperately. He was, she knew, the finest man she’d ever met.

  And she had to do something to try to make this right between them before she told him the rest.

  She took a step closer, wanting to bridge the distance between them, then froze when he stepped back, making it clear that lines had been drawn.

  She sighed, feeling the ache that coursed through her, knowing she deserved this, but still wanting him, loving him, all the same.

  Jared’s mind raced with questions that had no answers. “Natalie, didn’t the authorities try to find Raymond? I mean, kidnapping your own children is a crime.” He was trying to make sense of everything she’d told him, trying to understand, but it was difficult to cut through the pain and anger to think clearly.

  “Of course. I contacted the authorities the moment I realized he’d abducted the boys. In addition to the embezzlement charges, they added numerous other charges against him, including kidnapping, extortion, fleeing in order to avoid prosecution.” She shrugged, her gaze sad. “But it’s been three years, Jared. Raymond’s trail had grown cold and there are other cases, other missing children. The authorities simply stopped making Raymond a priority. But I never did. I couldn’t.”

  “Didn’t you try to find him?”

  Understanding his questions, she tried to be patient, when all she wanted to do was plead with him to protect the boys. He was her only hope to keep them safe, to keep them here. “Jared, like I said, I didn’t have much money left, and my focus was on finding the boys. I used every last penny I had to pay the private investigator to do that. I simply didn’t have any more funds to look for Raymond as well.”

  The picture was now becoming much clearer. “So that’s how you knew I’d adopted the boys. A private investigator?”

  “Yes.” She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly chilled. “He worked diligently for the past three years, but found mostly false leads and dead ends until the beginning of September.” She glanced up at Jared. “He saw the article in the Saddle Falls News that Rebecca wrote. There was a picture of the twins in it.”

  Jared nodded. He remembered when the photo had been taken. He hadn’t been happy about it, but since the story was about the entire history of the Ryan family, and it was something Tommy felt strongly about and actually endorsed, Jared hadn’t had the heart to say no.

  Now he sorely regretted his actions.

  “Once Harry saw the picture, he felt certain it was the boys, but he wanted to be sure, so he flew here to Nevada and checked the school records.” She shrugged. “You needed the boys’ birth certificates to register them for school.”

  Jared frowned. “We were given new birth certificates when the adoption was finalized.”

  “I know.” Natalie took a deep breath. “But the new birth certificates still had their fingerprints on them. Harry had a copy of the boys’ fingerprints from the hospital where they were born. When the fingerprints matched, we knew for sure it was Timmy and Terry.”

  “You started this conversation by saying the boys were in danger.” His voice was viciously cold, detached. “Why did you say that?”

  A shiver raced over her and she began to tremble in earnest. “Jared, I don’t know how…I don’t know…” She dragged a hand through her hair, wishing she could change what she had to tell him. “This morning when I was getting the boys ready for the parade, Raymond called me.”

  The tension that had been clawing at his insides felt like razor blades, sharp and deadly. Jared’s gaze narrowed and the white-hot rage flared up again, out of control, nearly consuming him. He took a step closer to her, causing Natalie to take a step back. “He called here? At my home?”

  Miserable, Natalie could only nod. “Jared, he’s found us.” A sob broke loose. “He knows I’ve found the boys, and I’m afraid he’s going to do something to harm them.” She took a step closer now, no longer caring about her own pain or pride, caring only that the boys would be protected, safe. “Jared, please, no matter how you feel about me, or what I’ve done, you have to protect the boys.” She reached for him, catching the front of his shirt with her hands and holding on even when he made a move to step back. “Please, Jared. You have no idea what he’s capable of. No idea how insane he really is.” She glanced up at him, her face stricken, her heart broken, nerves tattered. “Jared, you’re my only hope this time. My only hope to protect the boys.”

  He glanced down at her, feeling as if someone had ripped out his heart. “How can you even ask such a thing of me?” He grabbed her hands, shook her. “After all this time, don’t you know me at all?” His voice shuddered with pain and disgust that she didn’t know him enough to know he’d die before he’d let anyone hurt his children. “Do you think I’d let anyone hurt or threaten my children?”

  “They’re my children, Jared,” she said softly, but she wasn’t certain her words even penetrated his flash flood of anger.

  “This is my home, Natalie.” His voice was husky with the force of his emotions. “And those are my children. They’re Ryans through and through, and no one—I repeat, no one—will ever hurt, harm or threaten a Ryan child again.” Glaring down at her he stepped closer until his toes bumped her, glaring down at her.

  In spite of how he felt about her right now, it didn’t alter the fact that he needed her help, needed to find out what Raymond had said, in the hopes of figuring out what the man had planned. And like it or not, Natalie was the only one who could help him do that.

  “Now, I want you to tell me exactly what Raymond said this morning.” Jared paused, his lips pursed tightly. “Every single thing, even if you don’t think it’s important. Do you understand?”

  The intensity in his voice, in his body, was almost frightening, but she’d forgotten how fiercely protective and prideful the Ryans were.

  “Y-yes.” Natalie shivered.

  “Come and sit down.” His voice was still cold, but had gentled a bit. Taking her hand, he ignored the spark he always felt whenever he touched her, ignored it knowing he could never again trust her, or what he felt for her. Not after she’d deceived him. His heart ached with love for her, but he knew he couldn’t trust what he was feeling now, any more than he could trust her.

  He led her to the leather chair, then walked to the sideboard to pour her a brandy. “Drink this,” he ordered, handing her the glass. “It will calm you down.”

  She sipped the potent liquor, making a face as it burned a path down her throat. She set the glass on the table next to her.

  “Feel better?” He wanted to lay a hand on her cheek and tell her not to worry, that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her or the boys. But he couldn’t, not now.

  “Y-yes.” She nodded, sliding back in the leather chair and tucking her legs under her. “I was just getting ready to leave for the parade this morning when—”

  “W
hat time was it exactly? Do you remember?” Jared stood in front of her, alert and on edge.

  Her brows drew together. “About ten I think. I had just put the turkey in the oven.”

  Jared nodded in acknowledgment. “What did Raymond say exactly?”

  Natalie’s eyes closed and she recounted the conversation for him, as exact as she could remember it.

  “He actually said he’d be seeing you and the boys?” Jared deliberately tried to cool the rage stalking him. He knew he had to think clearly and carefully, and he couldn’t do that if his mind was clouded with emotion. Deliberately, he erased everything from his brain, ignored the deep ache in his heart and concentrated only on her words and what she was relating.

  “Yes,” she whispered, taking the glass again when he held it toward her. She wrapped her hands around it as if only to stop their trembling.

  Jared’s mind skipped to several possibilities. “Natalie, who knows you’re here?”

  She thought for a moment, then shook her head. “No one. Absolutely no one. I couldn’t risk having anyone know.” She paused. “Except for Harry Powers, the private investigator who found the boys.” She caught the look on Jared’s face. “Oh no, Jared.” Frightened at what he was thinking, she slid forward in the chair. “He would never have told Raymond. He’s a good, honest man who’s worked the past year without getting a penny in fees.” She shook her head. “No, Jared, he would never have told Raymond.” She would never believe that Harry could betray her, not after he’d known the heartache and hardship she’d gone through trying to find her boys. “Harry was head of security for my father’s company for many, many years. He considered my dad a friend. I won’t believe he’d betray me.” So many people had, she couldn’t believe it of Harry, too.

  Jared dragged a hand through his hair, pacing the length of the room, his mind whirling. “Okay, is there anyone else, Nat, anyone else who knows you’re here, or that you found the boys?”