Anything for Her Family

by Sharon De Vita

  “No. There’s no one.”

  “Raymond had to find out where they were, where you were somehow.”

  “Jared, I don’t have a clue. Honestly. I don’t. I never would have done anything that would give me or the boys away.” Her fingers tightened on the brandy snifter. “I’ve lived in fear that Raymond would discover I’d found the boys. That’s why I deceived you, Jared. That’s why I lied to you. That’s the only reason. To protect the boys.”

  His heart desperately wanted to believe her, but his mind simply couldn’t get past the knowledge that she’d deliberately deceived him. He couldn’t sort it out now. At the moment, he had to do whatever was necessary to protect his children.

  He turned to her, meeting her gaze and holding it. “Are you lying to me now, Natalie?” he asked slowly. For a moment, she drew back as if he’d slapped her, then her face crumpled and she broke down in tears. Jared ached to hold her, knowing she was frightened, knowing she was alone, so alone. Knowing she was desperately hurt. But he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t make himself take that step, not after what she’d done. He couldn’t trust her. And he couldn’t trust his feelings. So he’d simply go on his instincts and the facts, in the same way he’d been doing for the past three years.

  “No, Jared,” she finally managed to whisper, wiping her eyes with her hand. “I’m not.”

  Jared continued to stare at her for a long, silent moment. She stared back, trying to read his thoughts. But it was as if an invisible shutter had dropped down, cutting her off.

  Banishing her from his heart.

  She wasn’t certain she could feel anything any more, but the ache in her heart was real. Desperate, she set the glass down and stood up, fearing her legs wouldn’t hold her. She was physically and emotionally drained.

  “Jared, what are you going to do?”

  “What I’ve always done,” he said firmly, striding toward the doorway. “Protect my children.”

  “Jared.” Her voice stopped him and he turned to her.

  “What?”

  “W-what do you want me to do?”

  “I think, Natalie,” he said slowly, letting his gaze meet hers until she shivered again, “that you’ve done more than enough.”

  With that, Jared strode out of the living room, leaving her standing there, miserable, heartsick, staring after him.

  Chapter Nine

  Weary with fatigue, not knowing what else to do with herself, Natalie crept into the boys’ room. They were sound asleep. Terry had his fists jammed under his pillow, his legs tangled in the sheets. Timmy was on his back, a pillow half over his face, one leg over the covers, one leg under.

  Looking at them, Natalie felt her heart ache. She loved them so. But so did Jared, she thought sadly. She’d never once doubted that.

  They both loved the boys.

  And she’d thought they might have a chance at loving each other.

  Now she knew her actions had killed any love or affection Jared had ever felt for her. She’d read it in his face, his eyes, in the coldness that radiated off of him in waves.

  And she wasn’t certain he’d ever be able to forgive her. Nor was she certain she could ever forgive herself.

  Holding back a sob, Natalie kissed her sons’ foreheads, then spent a moment stroking their silky hair. It had been so long since she’d felt free—free from stress, from pain, from fear. All she wanted, all she’d ever wanted, was to raise her boys in peace and safety. To love and mother them. To give them all the stability and security she’d had growing up.

  But that simple option in life had been taken away from her because she’d made an error in judgment and married a man who’d fooled her.

  She’d been so young, so gullible, she acknowledged with a sigh, and unfortunately, she’d thought she’d loved Raymond.

  Now, compared to the depth of feeling she felt for Jared—for the unmitigated joy she felt every time he was in the room, every time he was near, or touched her, or kissed her—she finally knew what true love was.

  She’d been one of the lucky ones to find it.

  But she’d lost it.

  Because once again she’d made an error in judgment.

  Heartsick, Natalie stood in the darkened bedroom, watching her beautiful sons. All she’d ever wanted was for them to be safe and happy.

  Maybe now they would be.

  But she had no idea how she and Jared would finally settle this issue.

  She loved the boys totally, completely, unconditionally.

  She was their mother by birth and by blood.

  But Jared also loved them totally, completely and unconditionally.

  He was their father, maybe not by birth or blood, but in all the ways that truly mattered.

  Any man could father a child, but it took a very special man to be a great daddy. Jared was one of those rare men.

  And she loved him so.

  And she’d lost him.

  Natalie knew he’d probably never forgive her for deceiving him, never forgive her for lying.

  She was going to lose him—lose him before she ever really had him.

  And it hurt so much, she didn’t know how to stop the pain.

  Totally exhausted, she grabbed the small afghan at the bottom of Terry’s bed, wrapped it around herself, then lay down on the floor between the boys’ beds, wanting only to be near them. She needed to be close to them in order to be absolutely certain they were safe.

  Natalie let out a long, slow breath, then closed her eyes, praying that when she woke up, this horribly long nightmare would finally be over.

  It took Jared less than two hours to round up Josh, Jake and Tommy and brief them on the situation. Their reaction, as Jared had expected, was just about the same as his.

  “No one threatens the Ryans,” Josh said, pacing the length of the kitchen, his fists clenched, ready for a fight. The cool, calm lawyer was gone, replaced by a man of fierce pride and familial loyalty. He’d stripped off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, more than ready to take on the world to protect his own.

  “You got that right,” Jake concurred, doing a little pacing of his own, his jaw clenched, his fists flexing.

  “Words, lads,” Tommy said, putting on a fresh pot of coffee, knowing it was going to be a very long night. “Merely words. They won’t help us find this man. We need to have a plan.” Tommy pulled out a chair and sat down heavily, leaning his cane against the table. “I’ve put in a call to some friends of mine, friends who were very useful to me after Jesse disappeared.”

  “Bodyguards,” Jake said with an approving nod, remembering when his grandfather had told him that, right after Jesse disappeared, the men he believed to be new ranch hands had really been bodyguards, hired to protect him and his remaining brothers.

  Tommy Ryan would take no chances with his family ever again.

  “In a manner of speaking,” Tommy said with a smile. “There’ll be six men here within the hour to guard the perimeter of the ranch. No one will be able to get onto our land without one of them knowing about it. Two more will be stationed right outside the front door, two more out back. Each is licensed to carry a firearm and will be fully prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect the security of this family.” He paused, letting his words sink in before continuing. “Now, as for the little lads. Fortunately, they’re out of school for a few days because of the holiday so we don’t have to worry about them leaving the ranch. At least not for now. We can protect them best here on our own property.” He shrugged. “And if we’ve not solved this problem by the time the little lads have to return to school, well then, the boys will either have a new friend take them to school, or they’ll have a family vacation they didn’t plan on.” He smiled, confident that, no matter what, he would protect his grandchildren. Never again would someone destroy what was his.

  Jared nodded in approval. Nearly desolate over Natalie’s deception, he knew he couldn’t think about it now. At the moment he had to focus on keeping
the boys safe and finding Raymond. But now that he’d had a chance to think about the situation, something was eating at him.

  “Tommy, I don’t understand how Raymond could have found Natalie. She claims she didn’t tell anyone, except the private investigator she’d hired, where she was going. He’s the one who found the boys for her, so I don’t know that he’d give them up.”

  “Do you believe her?” Jake asked quietly.

  Jared blew out a breath. “I don’t know,” he said honestly, looking at his older brother. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.” Everything he’d believed about Natalie until now had been a lie. All lies. He felt as if he’d been standing on shifting sand until he’d been tossed totally off balance.

  “It doesn’t make sense,” Josh said, filling the coffee mugs and retrieving cream from the refrigerator. “If Natalie knew Raymond was a little nuts, knew that he’d come after the boys if she found them, why on earth would she tell anyone?” He shook his head, then carried the mugs to the table. “Seems to me she’d keep it to herself to protect the boys. I don’t believe she’d do anything to hurt her own children.”

  Jared’s head snapped up when Josh said “her own children.” Then he realized it was a fact he was going to have to get used to. The boys were Natalie’s.

  His jaw tightened. But they were also his and there was no way in hell he was giving them up—ever—not without one helluva fight. Jared rubbed his hands over his face, his mind a blur. He couldn’t think about that.

  Maybe once he had the Raymond situation under control, then he’d be able to deal with the situation with Natalie.

  “Nay, I don’t, either, Son.” Tommy glanced at Jared. “It’s clear Natalie loves the boys from the bottom of her heart. She lied to protect them, as a mother should,” he said with an approving nod.

  Stunned, Jared glanced sharply at his grandfather. “Tommy, you certainly can’t condone what she did?”

  Tommy looked at him with a slight smile. “Condone?” He thought about it for a moment. “That’s an odd word, Son. I don’t claim to know Natalie’s mind, but I’d say she did what any mother would do to protect her children.” Cocking his head, he held his grandson’s gaze. “Are you telling me you wouldn’t lie or do whatever was necessary to protect those precious babes and ensure their safety?”

  Tommy’s words hit at the heart of him, and Jared felt himself flush, feeling slightly ashamed. “No, Tommy, I’m not telling you that.” He blew out a breath, wondering if perhaps he was letting his own bruised ego and aching heart blind him to the circumstances that had caused Natalie to deceive him—circumstances that now, with Tommy’s spin on them, seemed almost understandable. Even acceptable. “I’d do anything to protect my sons.” It was a fact, and he wasn’t going to deny it.

  “Aye,” Tommy said with a nod. “But don’t think family pride, protection, or loyalty is a Ryan exclusive. In my memory, there’s nothing more fierce than a mother protecting her young.”

  “I know, but—”

  “Whatever the case,” Tommy said, not letting Jared finish, “it’s clear she loves the lads more than anything, and I’d not believe she’d harm them at all. Nay, not at all. Not ever.” Tommy glanced at Jared, understanding his misery, wanting to ease his burden. “’Twas a brave thing she did, Son,” he said softly, tempering his words with a pat on Jared’s hand. “Coming here, hiding who she was so she could be near the lads.” Tommy nodded knowingly. “A brave thing, indeed. She knew the risks, knew what would happen if Raymond found out. Knew, too, what would happen if you found out, but she took her chances just to claim her boys. In my mind she’s a brave, remarkable woman.” Tommy paused, then added softly, “Like your mother.”

  Jared shut his eyes. He didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to hear that Natalie had been brave or that she was remarkable. He’d thought those things as well. Before. Before he’d learned she’d betrayed him, lied to him.

  But was it only to protect the boys? he wondered. And if so, why did it hurt so much?

  “Yeah, bro, I don’t think she’d tell anyone, either. Why would she want to put the boys at risk?” Jake shook his head. “Raymond may have known all along where the boys were,” he said with a frown, trying to put the puzzle pieces together. “He’s the one who put them up for adoption, right? He must have known Kathryn’s father before that, otherwise I don’t think he would have risked doing something that stupid.” Jake shrugged, glancing at the stove to see if the coffee was ready. “Raymond probably knew where the boys were all along.”

  “Yeah, but knowing where the boys were didn’t guarantee Raymond would know Natalie would find them or come here,” Josh interrupted. “Even if Raymond knew where the boys were, that doesn’t explain how he knew Natalie had found them.”

  Thoughtfully, Tommy sipped his coffee, then slowly set it down, glancing at Jared. “Maybe ’twasn’t Natalie who told someone she’d found the boys.” His brows rose in question. “Is it possible, lad, that it could have been you?” he asked gently.

  All eyes turned to Jared, and he stared at them mutely for a moment.

  “Me?” Angered, he felt the word explode from his mouth. “I haven’t told anyone Natalie was—oh God.” Jared swore softly under his breath, then shook his head with a guttural moan. He scrubbed his hands across his face, cursing himself and his stupidity. “I don’t believe it.” He blew out a breath, the reality of his actions hitting him like a sledgehammer.

  “What? What!” Jake demanded impatiently, stopping his pacing to glare at his brother.

  “Kathryn.” Jared’s gaze shifted to his brothers, then his grandfather, and he groaned again. “You know how Kathryn calls once a year or so to pretend she cares about the boys?”

  “Aye, you’ve told us she’s done this in the past, lad,” Tommy said with a frown. “Although what her purpose is still eludes me. The lass never had an ounce of caring or loyalty to family or the little lads.” He couldn’t hide the disapproval in his voice.

  “I know, Tommy.” Jared knew better than anyone. “Kathryn called me about a month ago, and I had to gloat, to rub it in that we were doing very well without her. That I’d hired a new nanny the boys adored.”

  “Bingo,” Josh said. “This all makes sense. If Raymond knew Kathryn’s father, it’s a good bet he knew her, too. Maybe she reports to Raymond anything interesting every time she calls to check on the boys. Maybe this time she reported that you had a wonderful new nanny—”

  “Named Natalie,” Jared interjected miserably. He pushed his hands through his hair, then glanced at his family. “So I blew it. I’m the one who actually tipped Raymond off.” Feeling miserable, Jared cursed himself again. “So what do we do now? How do we find Raymond?”

  “That’s easy.” Jake grinned. “Through Kathryn.”

  “She’s not just going to give us the information out of the goodness of her heart,” Jared said, not liking the idea of having to deal with his ex-wife again.

  “I don’t believe she ever had a heart,” Josh said, turning a chair around and then sinking down on it and helping himself to a cup of coffee. He poured a second one for Jared and slid it across the table to him.

  “Not through her heart,” Jake said with a smile. “But through the pocketbook. The only language that woman has ever understood.”

  “I’ll deal with Kathryn,” Jared said, reaching for his coffee, wanting, needing something to jolt his system. The coffee tasted as bitter as his guilt. Guilt that he’d brought this on and possibly exposed both Natalie and his sons to this lunatic Raymond. “I want to handle this myself,” he said firmly, aware that his brothers and grandfather had exchanged worried glances.

  “Do you think that’s wise, lad?” Tommy asked casually. “Wouldn’t it be better if you stayed here with the boys and let your brothers take care of this? They have no history with her, and she has no ax to grind with them.”

  Jared shook his head, getting to his feet. “No,” he said firmly. “This is my problem, my
family that’s threatened. I’m the one who caused the problem, so I’m the one who needs to fix it.”

  “Do you know where she is?” Jake asked with a frown.

  Jared nodded. “She’s been living in Vegas since she left me. She wanted to be close to her father.”

  “And all the action,” Josh added with a knowing look. He’d never liked Kathryn’s high-flying lifestyle. Nor Kathryn.

  Jared glanced at his brothers, saw the concern on their faces and loved them for it. But he knew that, on this, he wouldn’t budge. “I need to do this for myself,” he said to Jake and Josh, waiting until they gave reluctant nods of approval.

  “We’ll stay here with Nat and the boys,” Josh said, glancing at Jake again. “Just to be on the safe side.”

  Jared’s glance shifted to Tommy, and a look of understanding passed between them. Only Tommy, who’d gone through the agony of Jesse’s disappearance, would know and understand that Jared had to make certain, had to be sure he protected his children.

  “I’ll be careful,” Jared said quietly, patting his grandfather’s shoulder. “I promise.”

  “Aye, that you will, Son. I’ve not raised a fool. But just remember, the law is there for a reason.” Tommy got to his feet, retrieved his cane. “And it won’t do the lads any good to have you locked in jail. So mind your step,” he said sternly, giving his grandson a firm poke with the tip of his cane. “Mind your step, is all.”

  “I will, Tommy.” Feeling an overwhelming rush of love and loyalty, Jared clamped a hand on his grandfather’s shoulder, amazed at how strong, how broad it still was.

  “Come on now, lad, I’ll walk you out and give you a few pointers.”

  Jake stepped forward, stuck out his hand. “Call if you need us, bro.”

  Josh got to his feet, a worried look on his face. “No matter what, you keep in touch.”

  “I will.” Jared hesitated, glanced at his family, feeling a surge of love. This was what families were all about, he thought. Being there to help one another in times of crisis.