Troy [Whitedell Pride: 12]

by Catherine Lievens

  “I know you’re scared, but—”

  “No buts.” Troy looked at Jared. “So? When can you take it out?”

  Jared looked hesitant. “I’m not sure taking it out is a viable solution.”

  “I don’t care if it dies.”

  “I meant for you. I have no idea what I’m working on. You know we’re always hesitant with you, because we don’t know how the harpy DNA melded with yours. We don’t know exactly what changed, just that your body grew an ovary and a viable environment for the egg. I don’t want to try to get the egg out only to lose you.”

  Troy looked like he wanted to protest, but he pressed his lips in a tight line instead. “So you’re saying I have to keep it in me until it’s time for it to get out.”

  “Yes. Jayden is researching harpies and their reproduction system, and Isaiah is looking through the lists we have from the labs to see if we can find a harpy, but we don’t have anything so far. We’re moving in the dark.”

  “Great.” Troy slumped back on the bed.

  Emery reached for his mate’s hand, not liking the despair he could feel coming through their connection. Troy looked like he wanted to push Emery away and his hand shifted to the side, but he looked at Emery and nodded. Emery took Troy’s hand and squeezed it, even if it stayed rigid against his skin.

  “How long before it’s ready to come out?”

  Jared shook his head. “I have no idea. I’m waiting for Jayden to find how long pregnancy lasts for harpies. Emery told me when you conceived, or at least when he thought you conceived, so once we have all the information we need, we can make a more accurate guess.”

  “How about a non-accurate one?”

  “Well, the egg is growing nicely. You’re already showing more than you were when we got you here, so it looks like it’s going to be a lot shorter than a normal human pregnancy. Maybe another month?”

  It clearly wasn’t the answer Troy was looking for. He groaned and closed his eyes, and Emery stood from his chair and gently pushed against Troy’s side. Troy opened his eyes, and Emery gestured for him to move over.

  Troy opened his mouth, probably to protest, but he closed it again and moved. Emery slid into the liberated space and moved his arm around Troy’s extended stomach, hugging him tight. He felt Troy take a deep breath and shakily release it before he finally relaxed a bit.

  “I’ll be there. I’ll stay with you for the next month and through the laying.” Hopefully that would be the hardest part and once the egg was out, Troy would feel better about it.

  “I know. It’s... it’s the only thing that makes this bearable.”

  Troy buried his face in the crook of Emery’s neck. Emery looked at Jared, who nodded at him before leaving them alone.

  “What do you want to do?”

  “Can we go back to our room?”

  “Sure. Jared said you could as soon as you woke up. Everything’s fine with you now. But you have to take care of yourself, especially until the baby is born.”

  “Can we not talk about babies, please?”

  “We’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later.”

  “I know. Just... not now. I need to wrap my head around the fact that I’m going to be a father, or a mother, or whatever, and that we don’t even know what the thing is.”

  Emery didn’t like how Troy called their baby a thing, but he’d only just found out about it. It would take him a little time to get used to the situation.

  “Just make sure you eat and sleep enough. It’s not only about the baby, you know. I don’t want you to get sick or hurt.”

  “It’s a bit too late for that,” Troy grumbled. His voice would’ve been too low for a human to hear it, but Emery did. He hugged his mate even harder and prayed that everything would be fine. He wasn’t sure it made a difference, but they needed all the help they could find.

  “Come on, let’s go home.”

  Emery helped Troy to stand up, holding him up when he wavered. “You’re still feeling a bit weak?”

  “Yeah. I don’t think the IV did the trick.”

  “I can cook you something if you want.”

  “I don’t want to bother you.”

  “You don’t. I’ll take you back to the room and see if there’re any left overs in the fridge.”

  Troy bit his lower lip and blushed a bit. “Can you bring me pickles?”

  “Sure. I think I saw a jar of them in the back of the fridge.”

  Troy nodded. Emery closed the hospital gown Jared had dressed Troy in as well as he could, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough to completely cover him. “Do you want me to go and get you clothes?”

  Troy looked down at himself and reached for the bed sheet. He wrapped it around his body as well as he could and sat back down. The sheet actually covered his stomach more than clothes would. “No, that’s fine. I’ll make do with this until I can shower.”

  Emery nodded. The little progress Troy had made since they’d mated had already disappeared, and he wasn’t surprised. He already knew Troy had the tendency to close in on himself when something was wrong, and something was very wrong now. Emery wasn’t sure how he could help him, though, but he was going to do anything in his power to do just that.

  * * * *

  Troy bundled on the bed as soon as he got inside his room. He wanted to sleep and wake up only when the thing inside him was gone. He didn’t care how and what happened to it, he just wanted it gone.

  “I’m going, okay?”

  Troy nodded at Emery and pulled the blanket higher over his head. He heard Emery sigh before he left, and while Troy felt a bit guilty at what he was putting his mate through, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had other things on his mind, things that were bigger and more important than a few hurt feelings.

  Troy tried to fold himself into a fetal position, but this stomach thing stopped him. It was big, bigger than the last time he’d seen it before ending up in the infirmary, and it scared the crap out of him. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that there was something inside of him, something that shouldn’t have been there and that shouldn’t even exist.

  Troy wanted to rip the thing out of his body, but he didn’t want to die in the process. Jared had said that he had to wait until it came out on its own and he’d do that, but he didn’t care what happened to it after. He already knew Emery and he were going to fight over that, though.

  Troy had seen the look in Emery’s eyes when he’d looked at Troy’s stomach and when Jared had talked about what was inside of it. He wanted the thing. He thought it was a baby, and he wanted it.

  Troy thought it was a monster, and he didn’t want to ever see it again after the birth. If he needed to leave to obtain that, then that was what he’d do. His heart squeezed painfully at the thought, but he tried to dismiss the feeling. Sure, he’d gotten used to Emery in the weeks since they’d gotten together. He liked the guy. Emery was funny and happy most of the time. He turned deadly when someone he loved was threatened, though, and he had no problems kicking asses during training. Emery was a strange mix of serious and carefree, deadly and sweet. He was smart and caring, and Troy knew he’d won the mate jackpot.

  That was the only thing that made him hesitate. He slowly reached down with his hand and skimmed it along his swollen belly. As soon as his fingertips made contact, he snatched them away as if his stomach was on fire. He couldn’t bring himself to touch it. He couldn’t even touch his own body.

  Troy’s stomach twisted with nausea and he jumped up from the bed. He reached the bathroom just in time and sank to his knees in front of the toilet. He wasn’t sure how long it took him to feel better, but two strong hands suddenly grabbed his arms.

  “Troy? What happened? Are you sick again?”

  Troy shook his head. “I’m fine.”

  “You sure? I can go get Jared.”

  “No, it’s okay. It was just... too much for a moment.”

  Emery
helped Troy to get back on his feet and cleaned up, then guided him back to the bed. There was a tray on the dresser and the smells coming from it made Troy realize just how ravenous he was. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the infirmary, but he did know he hadn’t eaten in a while.

  “Did you take the pill to help with the nausea?”

  Troy shook his head and Emery took the pill from the dresser and handed it to him. It was the only way Jared had found for Troy to be able to eat for now. He sat on the bed and reached for the tray. Emery passed it to him and Troy felt his mouth water. Emery had found some chicken potpie leftovers and he’d remembered to bring Troy some pickles.

  Troy devoured his meal. He was aware he was probably making a pig out of himself, but he didn’t care. Emery had sat in the armchair next to the bed and was looking at him with a smile playing on his face. He was probably happy to see Troy eat and feed the leech.

  Once Troy was done eating, he handed the tray back to Emery. He wanted nothing more than to hide in his bed again, but he needed a shower pretty badly, from the smells coming from his body, so he stood up.

  He felt dizzy for just a few seconds, but Emery was already there, his hands on Troy’s arms. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine to me.”

  Troy pulled his arm away. “I said I’m fine. I don’t need you to hover over me like a mother hen.”

  Emery looked confused, as if he wasn’t sure how to act around Troy. “I’m sorry. It’s not what I was trying to do.”

  “I don’t need help, yours or anyone else’s.” Troy spun around and stomped to the bathroom, taking care of slamming the door as hard as he could. He felt guilty only seconds after doing it, though. He was acting like a kid, and he knew it. He also knew Emery really was trying to do the best thing and that it had to be hard for him, even if not as hard as it was for Troy.

  Troy reached in the shower and turned the water on. He shucked his underwear and reached behind his back. He untied the lace keeping the hospital gown together and the flimsy fabric slid down to his elbow with one tug. He hesitated to take it off completely.

  He knew he’d have to face it sooner or later, but it was the last thing Troy wanted, especially so soon after finding out about it. He kept the gown close to his body and made sure there was a towel ready for him as soon as he was done.

  He stepped into the shower with the gown still around his stomach, letting it fall only when the water hit his back. Troy kept his eyes close and avoided looking at the small mound his mid-section now made. He even moved around it without touching it while he washed, but he couldn’t forget about it even if he avoided it.

  He could feel it. Troy could feel his body was slightly unbalanced by the new weight. He now tended to arch his back more to counter it, and it ached a bit, just like his feet ached at the added weight. The thing was growing fast, and Troy’s body wouldn’t have the luxury of nine months to get used to pregnancy. At least it meant Troy wouldn’t be sick for much longer, or that was what he hoped for, anyway.

  Once he was as clean as he could be, he grabbed the towel and wrapped his mid-section in it. He kept his gaze away from the mirror when he got out of the stall. But when he went to get dressed, he realized he hadn’t brought clothes with him into the bathroom.

  Troy hesitated. He knew Emery had already seen him when he’d been in the infirmary. Besides, Emery didn’t seem one bit disgusted by what was going on in Troy’s body. Troy had heard how Emery talked about the thing as if it were a real baby.

  It was Troy who had problems looking at himself at the moment, but he could dress in the bathroom or under the towel. He opened the door just a bit and peeked in the room, but it was empty, and the tray his lunch had been on was gone.

  Troy hadn’t heard the door opening and closing and Emery hadn’t told him he was going, but Troy wasn’t surprised, not with the way he’d snapped at his mate. He felt guilty now, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself when he’d talked to Emery

  Troy stepped out of the bathroom and wondered if his snapping was because of the new hormones or because of the thing inside him itself. He shrugged. It didn’t matter. He’d try to keep quiet next time he felt angry. The last thing he wanted was to push Emery away at the moment, and not just because he knew he’d stay with him through the entire pregnancy and after birth.

  He’d come to care for Emery in the past weeks. While he wouldn’t call it love yet, he could see himself falling for Emery very easily. The pregnancy was complicating things, and Troy didn’t know what would happen to Emery and him as a couple once the leech was out, but he hoped he wouldn’t lose the first person who’d been able to make him feel human again after the lab.

  * * * *

  Emery slid the tray on the counter and started to rinse the plate and cutlery. His thoughts were on Troy and on how he was snapping one second and crying the next. Jared had told him it was normal. Troy was already prone to mood swings thanks to his harpy DNA, and it was worsened by the pregnancy hormones. Emery wasn’t angry with his mate, and he understood it wasn’t Troy’s fault, but that didn’t mean it was easy for him or that it didn’t hurt.

  He opened the dishwasher and stacked everything in it, at least until he was stopped by someone clearing their throat behind him. Emery straightened and turned. Keenan was behind him, a pink post-it in his hand.

  “The stuff in the dishwasher is clean.”

  Emery looked down. “Oh, shit. Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. We can run it again.”

  Emery stepped away and gestured to Keenan to do it. The last thing he wanted was to do something he shouldn’t have again. “Thanks.”

  “No worries. You’re not the first one it happened to in this house, and you won’t be the last.”

  Once the dishwasher was running Keenan turned to Emery and handed him the post-it. Emery took it and looked at it, grimacing at the name. “Again?”

  “Yeah. Dominic thinks we’ll have to do something about it.”

  “Like what?”

  “At least ask Troy to talk to him. The guy’s a cop, he’s bound to come here if he doesn’t hear from him.”

  “And we can’t have that.”

  “Definitely not.”

  “The last thing we want right now is for the guy to see Troy.” Emery hesitated. No one but the doctors and Dominic knew about what was happening to Troy, but the entire pride would find out sooner or later. Even if they managed to keep the pregnancy and the laying hidden, the egg would hatch and they would become parents. They wouldn’t be able to keep the baby hidden for long.

  “Why? Is there something wrong with him?”

  “You’ll find out soon I think, but I’m sure he’d want to be the one to tell you.”

  Emery could see Keenan wanted to pry, and he wouldn’t have expected anything different from him, but he kept silent. Emery was grateful for it, even if he knew Keenan was more than able to keep a secret if he needed to. “I’m going back up.”

  “Sure. Ask Troy what he wants to do about this guy, okay?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  They separated next to the staircase. Keenan went back to his office while Emery climbed the stairs and hoped Troy’s mood had changed while he showered. He knocked on the door and waited for Troy to answer, just to be sure.

  “Who is it?”

  “Emery.”

  “Why the hell are you knocking for?”

  Emery took that as a come in, so he opened the door and stepped in. Troy was on the bed, his body buried under what seemed to be every blanket and sheet Troy had been able to find in the room. “You’re cold?”

  Troy shook his head. “I’m fine. Why were you knocking? It’s your room too.”

  “I didn’t want to make you angry.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  Emery sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. Troy grabbed his shoulder and pulled, silently asking for Emery to come closer. He compli
ed and sat up against the headboard, his head on his mate’s shoulder, Troy’s arm around his. “I know you don’t mean to snap.”

  “Sometimes I feel like there’s someone else in my body.” Troy chuckled darkly. “Well, I guess there really is someone else in my body, two of them. Sometimes it’s hard to try to stay myself, and I feel like I’m losing Troy, the real Troy.”

  “You mean the one before the lab?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s not the only real Troy. The Troy you’re now is just as real as the old one, just with some bits added.”

  “Some not so nice bits.”

  “I didn’t say that.” Emery moved away and turned to face his mate. The only part of Troy that peeked out from the bundle of covers was his face and his shoulders. Emery straddled his mate’s thighs, not listening to Troy’s protests. He cupped Troy’s face with both hands, something that seemed to have become routine with them, because Troy tended to avoid looking at Emery in the eyes.

  “Emery, what are you doing?”

  “I’m going to tell you this again and again, until you finally believe it. You’re not a monster, no matter what they did to you. You’re trying to do the best you can with what life gave you, and I know it’s not easy, but I’ll be there for you from now on, okay?”

  Troy’s gaze was down, fixed on Emery’s chest. Still, he nodded. Maybe the message was starting to sink in.

  “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily. I know everything about being different. I never completely fit, not with vampires and not with shifters. That doesn’t mean they don’t accept me. It’s been years since I last felt I had a family, and now I do.”

  “What happened to your family? You never talk about it.”

  “My family is dead. My parents, my brothers, all dead.”

  “How?”

  Emery sighed. This was going to be a long discussion, but if Troy wanted to know more about him, he’d comply. He kissed his mate’s nose and leaned into Troy’s chest. Troy tensed and tried to push him away, but Emery was having none of it. He slid his arm under the covers and around Troy’s waist and leaned against the baby bump that made his heart beat just a bit faster every time he thought about it.