Troy [Whitedell Pride: 12]

by Catherine Lievens

  “Why don’t you sit next to me like before?”

  “Because I want you to hug me while I talk about this. It’s not easy for me.”

  Emery felt Troy’s chest rise when he took a deep breath, then two arms finally hugged him tight.

  “I don’t know how much you know about Krsnik, but we’re a pretty violent race. We’re vampire hunters, and our sworn enemies are Kudlaks. They’re our dark counterparts, half vampire and half shifters like us, except they turn into black animals. Our people have been at war for decades with them, and our numbers dwindled in time. They’re only a handful of us left, I think.”

  “What about your family?”

  “My parents were both hunters, but they retired when they decided to have a family. They had my two brothers and me, and once we were all grown up the entire family started to hunt again. I lost them one at a time.”

  Troy’s arms tightened around Emery. “Can I ask why you fought the Kudlaks?”

  “Now that I know better, it looks like prejudice to me, but at the time I thought I was doing something good. All the stories I’d heard about them said they were killers, that they relished blood and pain. I never even saw them do that, but I still killed them.”

  Troy didn’t say anything.

  There wasn’t much to add to what Emery had just told him. He knew he’d been young and stupid, and he’d lost his family because of it. “So, what are you buried in all these covers for, if you’re not cold?”

  “I’m not anymore, but I was when I came out of the bathroom.”

  Troy moved his arms from around Emery’s waist and gently pushed him away. Emery frowned. “Why do you want me to move?”

  “Because this position isn’t comfortable.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Emery wasn’t exactly convinced of the reason Troy had given him, but he slid down from his mate’s legs and sat beside him. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Any pain?”

  Troy huffed, but his voice was calm when he answered. “Nope. Now, why don’t you put a movie on? I could use some light entertainment.”

  Just like that, the mood lifted and Emery climbed off the bed. He knew exactly what movie his mate would like.

  Chapter Five

  Troy glared at the mound hidden under the blankets and tried to push himself up again. It was hard, but he finally managed to roll in a sitting position and inch toward the edge of the mattress. From there, he could get up without too much help. He still had to pause for a few minutes to catch his breath and to gather the strength to actually get up, though. He wouldn’t even have tried to get up if he didn’t need to use the bathroom—right now.

  Troy hauled himself up and waddled to the bathroom, trying as hard as he could to stay upright. It wasn’t easy, because his body wasn’t made to bear children. It had somewhat adapted, but his hips were still masculine, and it made Troy unstable on his feet.

  He avoided looking at the mirror as he passed in front of it, scared of what he would see. He hadn’t really looked at himself in the past three weeks. He’d tried his hardest to ignore the growing thing inside him and to stay hidden, to everyone’s displeasure.

  After using the facilities he turned to the door, but his eye caught his reflection. He gasped.

  Troy slowly turned completely toward the counter and leaned both hands on top of it, using it to keep himself upright as he took in his body for the first time in nearly a month. There was no way to deny he was pregnant now. It had been only weeks, but he looked like he was about to give birth, or whatever he was going to have to do with the thing.

  His hands tightened around the edge of the counter. It was horrible. His stomach was hidden under a big T-shirt, but it wasn’t enough to make it disappear. It was still obvious, and it was the proof of what a freak he was. How could Emery stand to look at him, to sleep in the same bed and touch him?

  A wave of fear and disgust threatened to pull Troy under and he closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep on waiting for the thing to come out, he couldn’t let it leech on his body anymore.

  Troy felt his body shift and he didn’t try to stop it. He was more disgusted with the thing inside his body than with his harpy half at the moment. Maybe the shift would do something—trigger labor, or even kill the egg.

  But no. When Troy opened his eyes, the bump was still there. It looked somewhat smaller, but it was probably because Troy’s body was much bigger in his shifted form. At the sight of what he’d become, anger took over.

  Why couldn’t Troy be normal? Why did he have to be the one those bastards took? Why did they have to do that to him?

  He wasn’t even aware of the fact that his arm was rising until his balled fist hit the mirror. The sound of the glass surface breaking and falling apart was loud in the small room and it gave Troy a bit of satisfaction. It wasn’t enough, though, not by a long shot.

  Troy punched the broken glass again and more pieces fell in the sink. He took his time, systematically breaking all the pieces that still hung in the frame, not caring one bit that he now sported several cuts over his hands, arms, and even his face. Tiny bits of gleaming glass clung to his T-shirt and Troy winced when one somehow managed to get under it and cut his breastbone. It gave him an idea, though.

  Shaking his hand free of the glass, he grabbed one of the bigger pieces that rested on the counter. His wings opened behind his back as if they had a mind of their own. Troy could feel his harpy half fighting what he was about to do, but he’d always been the strongest one between them. He’d always been the one in control, and today was no different.

  Troy reached down with his other hand and pulled his T-shirt up, exposing his mid-section. He didn’t want to look down, but there was no way he could do what he was about to do without looking, so he took a deep breath and slowly lowered his eyes.

  He didn’t think he’d ever forget the sight that greeted him. He’d known he was big, but he’d always avoided looking down when he dressed.

  Troy’s stomach made it impossible for him to see his feet. It was distended, the skin riddled with ugly purple marks, and a dark line that disappeared under Troy’s treasure trail divided it in half. It was ugly, and he couldn’t suppress the shudder that passed through him.

  Troy still hesitated. He knew he might not survive what he was about to do. He knew Emery would be furious when he found out, and that this meant Troy would probably lose his mate. Emery wanted the thing to live. He thought they could be a family.

  Troy scoffed. They didn’t even know what the thing was. It might be a normal human baby, but what were the odds of that? With the mix Emery and he were, it was more probable it would be some kind of vampire and harpy shifter. As far as Troy knew, it could be a harpy, since it was coming in an egg. He didn’t want to have to take care of something that was more bird than human.

  Decision made, Troy pressed the piece of glass to the skin on the underside of his belly. He moved his hand to the side and tried to ignore the stinging sensation. He knew it would become pain soon enough and he had to be quick if he wanted the egg out by then.

  He was so concentrated on what he was doing that he didn’t hear the bathroom door open. “What are you doing?”

  The piece of glass was wrenched away from Troy’s hand, but it was too late. Troy had managed to make a deep cut, even if it wasn’t deep or long enough to get to the egg. Troy heard the piece of glass crash on the floor and break, but he was getting dizzy. He leaned forward, hissing when the wound on his stomach hit the counter.

  Strong hands grabbed his arms and turned him around. Emery looked up at him, pain and confusion clear on his face. He pressed a towel against Troy’s stomach. “Here, hold it in place. I’m going to carry you to the bed.”

  Troy opened his mouth to protest but he couldn’t seem to make his voice work. The only thing that came out was a croak, so he let Emery reach down and put his arm under his knees. He felt Emery
lift him as if he weighed nothing and closed his eyes when the room swam around him.

  Troy lifted his arms even if they felt like they were made of lead and looped them around Emery’s neck. He didn’t move them, not even when he felt the mattress under his back. Emery had to pry them away. “I need to call Jared. Please.”

  “Don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I—”

  “We’ll talk later, I promise. Right now we have to stop the blood flow.”

  Troy let Emery go. Emery could’ve moved away any time he wanted anyway, and the fact that he hadn’t reassured Troy, even if only a bit. Emery would stay, if only to see what would happen to the thing.

  Troy gritted his teeth against the pain that now rose from his mid-section and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see the accusations in his mate’s eyes, even if he knew he deserved it. After all, he’d tried to kill Emery’s offspring.

  He heard Emery talk on the phone and soon after a knock on the door, then voices. Emery was explaining what he’d walked in on. There was a tug on the towel Troy was still pressing against his stomach, and he opened his eyes to see Jared looking down at him.

  There was nothing but comprehension and gentleness in Jared’s eyes, and Troy relaxed. He knew Jared would do anything he could to save both him and the egg. He was in good hands.

  * * * *

  Emery watched Jared smile at Troy and Noem take out stuff from his over-sized bag.

  He’d never felt so helpless, so useless, as he did now.

  “Why did he do it?” Emery asked to no one in particular.

  He’d thought they were doing well. Sure, Troy had stopped coming out of their room and he hadn’t told anyone about the baby. But he was affectionate with Emery, and he’d never mentioned he might want to hurt himself. To be honest, Troy never mentioned the baby, at all. Even when Emery touched the baby bump and talked to it, or when he stroked it, Troy just behaved as if there was nothing more than his stomach there.

  “I should have seen something. I should have understood something was wrong.”

  A hand on his arm made him look up from what Jared was doing. “You did nothing wrong,” Noem said. “Troy’s always been very secretive, even before the pregnancy. The baby only made it worse. He’s very good at hiding what he doesn’t want anyone to see.”

  “But I’m his mate! Why didn’t I feel something was wrong?”

  “Don’t beat yourself up on this, Emery. He’s going to need you. They’re both going to need you to stay strong.”

  Emery nodded and looked at Troy. He was pale, and Emery feared he’d fainted, but Troy opened his eyes and looked at him. There was sorrow, pain and fear in them, and Emery felt compelled to get closer, to sooth his mate. “Can I sit next to him? Maybe hold his hand?”

  Jared nodded but never looked up from the stitches he was sewing in Troy’s pale skin. “Yes. Talk to him, try to reassure him. Noem, I need you to take out the glass in Troy’s hands while I work on his stomach.”

  “Can’t Noem heal Troy?”

  Jared shook his head. “We don’t know how Troy’s body would react. We’re doing things in the dark, and I don’t want the baby to be hurt.”

  “Will they be okay anyway?” Emery heard how desperate his voice was. He’d never felt this way, not even when his family had been killed one member at a time.

  “Yes. The wound wasn’t that deep, but he’s lost some blood. Once we get some back into him, he should be fine, though.”

  “Do we have to get him to the infirmary?” Emery knew it would be the smartest thing to do, but he also knew Troy wouldn’t want to go anywhere.

  Jared seemed to know it too, because he answered, “No, don’t worry. Noem already hooked him up.” He gestured to a pole Emery hadn’t seen on the left side of the bed. He’d been so focused on Troy that he hadn’t even notice Noem putting the blood bag up and getting the needle in Troy’s arm.

  “Thanks.”

  “I know he wants to stay hidden, but I think it’s time for him to come out of the room, Emery. His solution is obviously not working.”

  “I know.”

  “He should talk to people, see they’re not afraid of his belly, that they won’t think badly about him.”

  “But what if they do? This... this is not normal.”

  Jared snorted. “Normal? Have you seen anything that could qualify as normal since you moved into the mansion?”

  “Yeah, okay, but this reaches a whole new level of weird. I’m not sure people really would react well to it, and I don’t want Troy to be even more hurt.”

  Jared finally leaned away from Troy’s stomach. Emery saw the jagged line of dark stitches along one side of it. Everything was still covered in blood, but it didn’t look like Troy was losing any more of it. The tightness in Emery’s chest loosened a bit.

  Jared turned to him. “Look, we’ll talk once Troy feels better, but you know as well as I do that he can’t keep on like he’s been until now. If he agrees, we can tell people beforehand so we’re sure they won’t react badly, or maybe we can tell only a selected group. You know Keenan would be the first one to coo over Troy’s belly and organize a baby shower.”

  Emery smiled at that. He had no doubt that while it might take a little time to get used to it, most of the pride members would accept the baby without problems.

  Troy stirred on the bed and they both turned to face him. Emery didn’t like how pale he was, but he knew the blood would help with that. He leaned toward his mate and squeezed Troy’s hand a little harder. Troy’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey.”

  “Hey. Can I... can I have something to drink?”

  Emery looked at Jared and when he got a nod from the doctor he grabbed the bottle of water they kept next to the bed since Troy was often thirsty during the night. He filled a glass and handed it to Jared before sliding his arm under Troy’s shoulders and helping him sit up. Troy winced but he didn’t complain.

  Troy took the glass with a bandaged hand and drank half of it before giving it back to Jared. “You stopped the blood flow?”

  “Yes. The cut wasn’t deep.”

  Emery wanted to ask why he’d done it, to pry, but he waited in silence.

  “What happened, Troy?” Jared asked.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make any of you worry. I just... it was too much, and I thought everything would be better if it was out of me.”

  Emery noticed how Troy still called their baby it, and it hurt, even if he understood the reason behind it.

  “Troy... I can’t take the risk for this to happen again.”

  “It won’t, doc. I swear, it won’t. I was just... desperate to be normal for once.”

  “We gave you time to get used to it, but it’s been three weeks, and I know you haven’t stepped out of this room yet. Everyone is worried about you, especially Emery. You can’t keep on isolating yourself like this.”

  Troy shook his head and looked down at his lap. “They’ll be scared, or pity me. I know they won’t want me here anymore if they find out.”

  “No one was scared when we found out. I wasn’t, Emery wasn’t, Noem wasn’t. We’re worried because we don’t know how things are supposed to go, but we aren’t scared.”

  Troy didn’t answer, so Emery decided to give it a try. “I was scared for you, not of you. I don’t want to lose you, and... I don’t want to lose the baby. I know you’re scared because you don’t know what the baby will be, and I am too, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s our child, whether it has feathers or skin, wings or fangs.”

  “The entire pride will help you, if you trust them,” Jared added. “I can’t leave you alone in here if you don’t try to change the situation, Troy. I think you did this because you ignored the baby for too long, and you can’t do that anymore. You reacted badly because everything came down at once.”

  “How do I do it? It’s not like I can suddenly waltz in at dinner.”

  Emery chuckled. “No, but yo
u can decide to tell few people at a time. Call Keenan and ask him to come with the people you’re more comfortable with. You can stay on the bed and hide your baby bump under the covers until after you tell them.”

  Troy smiled the first real smile Emery had seen in his face for the past three weeks. “How do you think Keenan will react?”

  “He’ll be delighted. You’ll have to hide from him and his grabby hands once he finds out or you’ll have him permanently attached to your stomach.”

  “It’s not like he could feel the thing move anyway.”

  “He might not be able to feel the baby, but he’ll know it’s in there.” Emery stressed the word because he wanted Troy to understand, really understand, how he felt about their kid. They’d have to talk more about it, but it could wait until they were alone.

  Jared stood from the bed and Noem started to pack all the things they’d used. “I’ll come by tomorrow morning to check the wound. You can’t shower yet, but Emery can help you clean up.”

  “Thank you, Jared. I...”

  “No need to thank me. That’s what I’m here for.” Jared smiled at Troy and leaned forward. Jared held his hand over the distended stomach, and when Troy nodded he lightly touched it. “Once you’re healed I want to do another ultrasound, just to check how much the egg is growing.”

  Troy shrugged. “Sure.”

  Once the two men were gone, Emery rose from the bed and gathered everything he needed to clean Troy up. He cleaned him up as well as he could with a washcloth and disposed of the dirty water before sliding under the sheets with Troy. Troy moved as if to hug Emery, but he hesitated, so Emery gently grabbed him and pulled him into his arms.

  “I might not be happy over what you did, but I’ll never not want you. We’ll get through this together.”

  “I’m scared.”

  “I’m scared too, but there’s nothing we can do but wait right now.”

  “I don’t understand how you can still talk to me after I tried to kill your baby.”