Meeting The Unpredictable

by Riann C. Miller

  “You might get away with manipulating everyone else in our family, but it’s not going to work with me. I don’t want or need an apology from you. If anything, I should be thanking you. You saved me from the miserable life you’re living.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” Brandon growls, causing me to laugh. “Oh come on. You know I’m right. You might love your kids, but that doesn’t mean you’re happy.”

  Lennie slowly shifts off the bed, closely watching me. “You’re still fucking whoever the hell you want, and the only reason you started anything with Amber is because she was mine, but guess what?” I laugh as I shake my head. “I don’t give a damn, but don’t call me up and pretend to apologize when the only thing that you’re sorry about is getting stuck with Amber.” I don’t wait for him to reply. I hit end on my phone and toss it on the nightstand next to me. I groan in frustration as I rub my hands over my face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Lennie pulls on my arm, forcing me to look at her. “My mom would like it if Brandon and I got along. She informed him he needs to make things right with me, but apparently Brandon doesn’t think he did anything wrong.”

  My phone buzzes with a text. “I’ve ignored him. I’ve ignored both of them. That’s the only way I’ve survived all these years, and even though I’m over it, that doesn’t mean I have to accept some piss poor apology.”

  Lennie rubs her hand up my arm. “Was he always like this? I mean, jealous of you?”

  A storm starts brewing inside of me. “No, not at all. Brandon is five years older than me. Outside of vacations and summer breaks, we didn’t really hang out that much growing up, but he was a decent brother. We were less than a year away from graduating when Amber started complaining about being homesick all the time. We were only three hours from home but that drive got old doing it every weekend, not to mention I had a shit ton of school work to complete. I’m not sure if being homesick was just her excuse to come back and be with Brandon or if that’s how the two of them hooked up in the first place. I never asked because I wasn’t sure if I could handle the truth.”

  Lennie drops her head onto my lap. Instantly, my hands move to her hair. “Sometimes you have to walk in the dark in order to see the sunlight.” My hand freezes as she continues. “But nobody warns you that the darkness can last so unbelievably long that you can forget the sun exists.” That metaphor fits both of us perfectly, only it describes my past not my future—I won’t let it.

  “The day you knocked on my door, I was blinded by the light.” My head falls back against the bed as my hand reaches out and starts playing with her hair again. I was waiting for her to laugh. To tell me I was a nerd for my comment, but she remained silent, leaving me to wonder if Lennie is still walking in the dark.

  I CAN’T WALK PAST THESE doors without my skin starting to crawl. I’ve spent years behind walls like these. The smell of death is enough to turn my stomach. But I made a promise to God, or whoever else might have been listening to me when I was younger, not to mention my pact with Maddy.

  If I survived, I’d help make someone else’s experience better.

  That’s just it...outside of a simple cure, nothing can make you better. If it’s not the cancer that sucks the life out of you, it’s these walls. The doctors. The endless treatments. And what nobody seems to understand is even as a kid, there are more days than not when death seems like the best option...like the only option.

  Today, I pulled my big girl panties on and drove past the animal shelter to volunteer here. Jodi is the only person who knows I occasionally come here. Even after needing the services of this place, it’s beneath my father or his children to do the things I come here to do. I’m not dressing up as a clown or granting wishes. I’m cleaning bedpans, washing sheets, and mopping floors. And let me tell you...all of that is a thousand times better than reading to a sick child, wondering why I lived when they might not.

  I guess when it comes down to it...I’m a coward. Even now knowing my time can’t be far off, I was given the chance to live a life that most of these kids will never have.

  “Good morning, Lennie. Sign in here then head downstairs. Howard has a long list of things that need done.” I smile at the lady behind the counter. A woman—like everyone else here—I’ve made no attempt to get to know. This isn’t the animal shelter. I’m not excited to be here. I’m just fulfilling a childhood promise made to a friend I once loved.

  ***

  WHEN I ARRIVED BACK TO the apartment building, I debated which apartment to go to. I should head into Jodi’s and crash in her guest room until morning. I need time to shake off the mood I’m in from being in that hospital for eight hours, but what I really want is Tyler. I want to fall into his arms and forget this day even existed, but I shouldn’t. I need to put space between us without hurting him. The problem is, I don’t know how to do that. I’ve mastered the ability to be a bitch, but I don’t want to be that way with Tyler.

  “Well, hello.” I jump and turn to see Chad standing behind me.

  “Hey.” His nose scrunches up. “Are you here to see Tyler?”

  Now I’m stuck. If I don’t walk in with him, he’ll tell Tyler I was standing outside their door, and he’ll be across the hall in seconds. “Yeah, I was trying to remember if I had my key to Jodi’s,” I lie, but Chad doesn’t seem to notice.

  “I’m sure Tyler is inside waiting to hear from you. You might as well put the man out of his misery.”

  Chad’s normally friendly tone is nowhere to be found. If anything, he’s almost wearing a scowl, and I don’t know why.

  “Look who I found lingering outside our door.”

  Tyler turns in his chair and instantly smiles when he sees me. “Hey, babe. I was going to text you in a few minutes to find out when you’d be home.” Home. That word sends a jolt to my heart. This place isn’t my home, but I wish it was.

  “What are your plans tonight?” I look over when I hear Chad’s question to find him watching me with a pointed stare.

  “I don’t really have plans. I’ve had a long day.” Chad lifts a shoulder before glancing over at Tyler. I wonder if they had plans because I get the impression that Chad doesn’t want me around. “I can go.”

  “No!” Tyler shouts, causing us both to look at him. “We don’t have any plans together. I want you to stay,” he adds as he walks towards me.

  “Okay. Then I’ll stay.” I look back at Chad in time to see him roll his eyes.

  “I think I’m going out for a while. I’ll see you two later.” Chad grabs his keys off the counter and walks out the door.

  “Did I do something?” I ask once he’s gone.

  “No.” I glance at Tyler, who’s still looking at the door. “I don’t know. If Chad has a problem, he can either put up or shut up.” Tyler reaches out and grabs my hand. “Did you have a good day?”

  “No.” I grin. “But every day can’t be a good one.”

  Tyler places his arms around my waist before locking his eyes with mine. “I’d like the chance to make your evening a memorable one.” He wags his eyebrows, causing me to laugh. “My plan is working. You’re already laughing.” My heart speeds up with the knowledge that he’s right. After the day I’ve had, I’m exactly where I need to be.

  “Have you had dinner?” I shake my head no. “Then I’m taking you out, and afterward, I’m taking you to bed.”

  Tyler smirks before he places his lips on mine, and within seconds, my horrible day melts away.

  ***

  TYLER ENDS UP TAKING ME to a bar and grill not far from his apartment. This is exactly the type of place I wanted to go. It’s low-key, laid back, and if I’m being honest, I fit in here. I’ve already spotted a few tattoos on our waitress.

  “Did your brother contact you again?”

  “No.” Tyler groans with frustration. “My mom means well, and I can’t imagine having children who are at odds with each other, but she can’t just pull rank and demand we get along.”

  I chuckle.
“My dad and your mom are so much alike it scares me.” I shudder at the idea of the two of them teaming up. “Pulling rank is the only thing my father knows how to do.”

  “But you didn’t let him.” Tyler’s tone has an edge. “I’ve played the game of life by my mother’s rules. By Brandon’s...hell, even Amber’s.” The corner of his mouth turns up as he reaches his hand across the table. “And I didn’t even know it was happening until I met you.” Tyler grins. “Thank you for being the reason I finally changed my boring life.”

  My mind flashes back to a time I’ve forced myself to forget...

  “There’s a purpose for every person we meet, Lennie.”

  I try my best to breathe through my pain. “Oh yeah, then what’s the purpose of us meeting, then? We’re both going to die before we ever get out of this awful place.”

  Maddy smiles even though I know she’s in pain—both physically and emotionally. Maddy and her family were just informed that her last treatment—the one everyone was banking on working—wasn’t successful. “I always wanted a BFF, and now since I met you, I have one.” I break one of our many pacts and allow myself to cry. “Thank you, Lennie Jacobs. Thank you for being my best friend. Now go change somebody else’s life.” She laughs at her comment, but I can’t find the same humor.

  If I had known at the time, I would have forced myself to smile because less than a month later, my best friend...my only friend, Maddy Sims, died at the age of fourteen.

  “I decided to mess with you for entertainment,” I blurt out, causing Tyler’s eyes to narrow. “I knew I’d only be in town for a couple of months tops. I don’t like bartending in Dallas, and my job skills are fairly low, so when I met you I thought, this could be fun.”

  Tyler’s mouth twitches. “Why don’t you like bartending in Dallas?”

  “Really? That’s the question you ask?” I laugh but he shrugs me off.

  “I want to get to know the real Lennie Jacobs. You claimed bartending in New Orleans was fun, so why not here?”

  “You really want to know?” Tyler’s eyes widen but he nods his head yes.

  “I slept around a lot before I left Dallas.” I cringe, hating the way I used to act. “I don’t relish the idea of running into a man I’ve slept with while I’m pouring him a drink.”

  Tyler chews on his lip before taking a deep breath. “When did you say your appointment for your annual checkup is?”

  I smile to myself at this sudden change in topic. “I didn’t, but it’s just over two weeks from now.”

  “And your plan is to leave afterward?” I hold his stare, but I don’t answer him. I never planned on staying in Dallas even when I knew I wasn’t going to get the results my family is hoping for. I came back because...hell...I don’t even know why I came back any more. I guess deep down I knew if I didn’t, it would hurt Jodi. “I don’t know what my plans are as of yet.”

  Tyler leans forward in his chair. “I want to come with you.”

  I chew on the inside of my lip as my eyes wander around the restaurant. “Tyler—”

  “Please,” he cuts me off, causing my eyes to jump to his. “Please let me come with you. I know I’m asking for a lot but please...”

  Tyler’s entire body is rigid as he waits for my response.

  “I don’t even know if I’m leaving for sure.”

  “Great. Then stay. Move in with me.” My mouth drops open. “Or look over the damn map and pick a place and we’ll move there.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

  My heart is racing so fast I can feel it beating in my ears.

  I’ve had guys want me for a night. I’ve had men want me in their bed for longer periods of time. Hank even claimed he was falling in love with me, but I’ve never had a man offer to uproot his own life for mine. I’m positive I’ve complicated his life in a way he wasn’t expecting, because if Tyler truly loves me enough to leave his family and friends behind, then my test results might ruin him.

  I OPEN MY EYES WHEN I hear a loud knock at the door. It’s dark outside and the first thing that comes to mind is that Lennie must need me, except when I start to get up, I hear her groan next to me. “Who the hell is here at this time of night?”

  I look over at the clock next to my bed to find it’s after two in the morning. “I have no idea. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  Lennie moans something before closing her eyes. I grab my shorts off the floor and walk to the door.

  “Open the fuck up, asshole.”

  “Shit,” I mumble to myself the second I hear Brandon’s voice. I start debating the idea of ignoring him but when he bangs again, I know I have to answer before he wakes my neighbors.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I snap the second the door is open.

  Brandon’s face is turned up in anger. “Well, if it isn’t my perfect little brother.” I can smell alcohol on his breath as he pushes past me and into my apartment.

  “It’s late. What do you want Brandon?” He looks around my apartment with a smirk on his face. “I just wanted to know how you do it, that’s all.”

  “Seriously, Brandon, where you’re concerned, I’m not in the mood for games, but I’m even less thrilled with the idea at this time of night.”

  Brandon laughs before stumbling towards my living room. “Do you ever get tired of being so damn perfect? Huh?” When Brandon’s gaze locks with mine, I’m suddenly unsure of who I’m looking at because this is not my normally overly confident and downright cocky brother.

  “Go home. You’re drunk.”

  He eyes me with curiosity before he smirks. “I bet she’s a wild one in bed, isn’t she?” Brandon gestures towards the hall where I suddenly notice Lennie watching our exchange. “I’m sure she’s a real treat compared to Amber.” He snorts as I charge towards him.

  “Shut your fucking mouth,” I growl. The corners of Brandon’s mouth are twitching. He’s happy that he’s getting a rise out of me, but that does nothing to tamp down my sudden anger.

  “Does she let you fuck her any way you want?” Without thinking, I pull my arm back and punch him in the face. Lennie gasps as Brandon drops to the floor.

  “What the hell is going on?” Chad questions as he flips the light on, blinding my drunken brother.

  “Brandon decided to make a house call.”

  Brandon laughs as he rubs his jaw. “Well, screw me sideways. I didn’t know you were capable of manning up.” Brandon wobbles before he pushes himself off the floor. He gives me another smirk before looking over at Lennie. “You think you have him all figured out, do ya?”

  “Don’t fucking talk to her.” I step in front of Lennie. My blood is still boiling from his last comment, and I want to punch him again for looking at her while she’s half-dressed.

  “Oh, what are you afraid of her finding out?” he sputters while he tries to look around me.

  “Find out what?”

  “That you’re trying to steal my wife.” Lennie tenses behind me, as do I when the magnitude of what Brandon just said sinks in.

  “I’m not trying to steal your wife.” Lennie or no Lennie, Amber is the last woman I’d want to be with.

  “Oh really? Then why did she ask me for a divorce, huh?” Lennie steps out from around me, but I throw my arm around her shoulder, keeping her tucked into my side. “You finally bring a woman home—a woman who’s nothing like Amber—and now she wants to fix things with you? That was your plan from the start, wasn’t it?”

  “I think it’s time we called you a cab,” Chad states as he picks up his phone.

  “Bullshit. I’m not leaving here until this prick answers me.”

  As I stand here, I study my brother for the first time in years, and the thing that stands out the most is how time hasn’t been kind to him. Brandon looks almost ten years older than he actually is.

  “Was that the plan the whole time? Wait until she got tired of me then steal h
er back? Well, the jokes on you, little brother, because you can have her.” Brandon attempts to laugh, but he ends up choking instead. When he finally regains what little composure he has, he locks eyes with me. My stomach starts to turn as I wait for whatever comment he’s about to make.

  “She told me you two had broken up.” Brandon pauses and loudly swallows. “She told me things were over for you two.” He glances over at Lennie then back towards me. “This wasn’t the life I wanted. She fucked me over just as much as she did you.” My heart speeds up. I’ve wanted to know for years how Brandon or Amber, for that matter, could hurt me the way they did, but now I’m not sure I want to know.

  “I took a bullet for you and I’ve paid dearly for it.”

  “You slept with his fiancée. Don’t pretend to be the good guy here,” Lennie snaps.

  Brandon starts laughing. “I never claimed to be a good guy.” He shakes his head before looking back at me. “I was drunk and she told me things were over between the two of you. I fucked her and she took pictures, pictures she promised to show our mother.”

  I want to call bullshit, but the fact remains I didn’t really know Amber like I thought I did.

  “I couldn’t do that to Mom. It was bad enough that I hurt you. I couldn’t do that to Mom.”

  My head is spinning. As a teenager, Brandon always acted as if he had his shit together. By my third year of college, Brandon had already moved up the corporate ladder and was well on his way to success. I’ve always wondered how much that played into Amber falling for him.

  “A cab is here,” Chad states, holding up his phone.

  Brandon sighs in defeat. When I don’t say anything, he walks to the door and leaves without another word.

  “Damn, dude. Your family is seriously cracked out.” Chad shakes his head and locks the door but my feet feel stuck to the floor. Answers I didn’t need any more were just thrown at me, and I’m not sure how to handle the information I was given.

  “I think I might head over to Jodi’s.”