Meeting The Unpredictable

by Riann C. Miller

  Lennie’s voice causes me to snap out of my own thoughts. “Why? It’s late. Let’s go back to bed.”

  Lennie gives me a small smile before glancing at Chad. “Goodnight,” he mumbles before walking down the hallway.

  “Hey.” I reach out and tilt Lennie’s head towards mine. “I want you to stay.” My voice is almost a plea.

  “I just thought you could use some time to think.”

  My eyes thin. “The last thing I want to do is think about Brandon and Amber. Tonight...what he said changes nothing for me.”

  “How can you say that?” Lennie retorts.

  “Because he was drunk and looking to make excuses.”

  Lennie tenses again. “Brandon was drunk, I’ll give you that, but he was telling the truth.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I could tell.” Lennie pulls out of my hold and takes a step back. “Your ex tricked your brother into having sex with her then blackmailed him afterward. That’s a lot to take in.”

  If Brandon is telling the truth then Lennie is right...That’s a lot to take in, but I’m not sold on Brandon’s story. My mother might hate how Brandon and Amber became a couple, but that doesn’t mean she will approve of the two of them divorcing, especially since they have children. Brandon’s story has a nice spin if he wants to ensure he doesn’t have to deal with our mother’s wrath.

  “There’s nothing to take in. I’m over Amber. I’m over Brandon. Nothing he said tonight changes anything for me. Now let’s go back to bed.” I reach out and tug Lennie closer.

  She gives me a grim smile before nodding her head. “Okay. Let’s go to bed.”

  I wrap my arm over Lennie’s shoulder as we walk back to the bedroom. Once we’re in bed, I pull her tight against my chest as my mind finally wanders back to everything Brandon said.

  I don’t know why now after all these years I’m being pulled back into their mess, but I can only pray it doesn’t affect the relationship I’m trying to build with the woman in my arms.

  CALL ME A COWARD, BUT I slipped out of Tyler’s room before he woke up. The bomb Brandon dropped on him is going to hit him at some point, and whether he agrees or not, he needs to process what happened, and it’s probably for the best if he does that when I’m not lying next to him.

  What I wasn’t expecting was to find Jodi sitting at her kitchen table. “Good morning.” I haven’t spoken to Jodi much since the night my father tore into me, mainly because I’ve been avoiding this moment.

  “Good morning.” I walk over to the coffee machine and pour myself a cup. “Don’t you have criminals to save today?”

  Jodi laughs, catching me off guard. “It’s Saturday, Lennie. I usually try to save my evil powers for the work week.”

  Saturday? Shit.

  “Oh,” is all I muster up before taking a seat across from her.

  “Have you purposely been avoiding me?” Jodi straightens in her chair, preparing for my answer.

  “Maybe,” is all I say.

  Jodi nods her head and relaxes. “I never know what to say to you, Lennie. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because you’re always looking for a reason to leave.” Jodi glances down at the table as my chest tightens.

  “When I got out of the hospital, we should have gone to a support group as a family. I was going through things you guys couldn’t seem to understand, and I needed someone to tell me that my family was struggling to deal with my illness in their own way.”

  Jodi nods. “You’re right. The second you were cured, Dad wanted to pretend like nothing happened.” My heart starts racing. Knowing Jodi understands, or at the very least can voice one of my biggest concerns with our parents, feels like a miracle.

  “I couldn’t let him mold me into the perfect daughter he wanted. I couldn’t if I tried, but that’s not who I am. Between that and the fear that I could and would up and die at any moment, I got the hell out of here.”

  “I know.” Jodi looks up from the table and locks eyes with me. She sympathetically smiles, and I feel even more gutted than I did moments before.

  “You think you’re protecting me but you’re protecting yourself. My world as I know it will forever change if you die, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want a life with you. Whether you die in a day or fifty years from now, it’s going to devastate me.” Jodi’s eyes start to water.

  “It always seemed—”

  “Like I was on their side. I know. I agree that’s this family’s biggest problem. We all look at life through our own perspective and no one else’s.”

  Being around my family makes me on edge. “You told yourself that you left to make things better for me and that couldn’t be further from the truth.” She gives me a brief but warm smile that puts my nerves a little more at ease, enough that I feel like I can be honest with her without the backlash I usually sense coming.

  “I’ve always felt like cancer was going to be my end. Thanks to you, I dodged a bullet, but it feels like the gun has still been pointed at me for the last ten years.” And the trigger is about to be pulled.

  “Because of the bone marrow transplant, your chances of success were better than any treatment Dad could have found you, but you continued to live under this dark cloud.”

  “You’re right. I did...I do,” I state as my tears start to fall. “Why me?”

  Jodi sighs. “Why does anyone get cancer?”

  “No, I mean why did I live and so many others didn’t.” I wipe my tears, “Maddy deserved to live.” Jodi’s face softens with pity. She knows how much Maddy meant to me. The fact that we were practically the same age, with the same illness, and I had to watch her die only months before I was “cured” messed with my head almost as much as getting sick in the first place.

  “I’m so sorry you went through that.” If I had the bone marrow treatment when I got sick the first time, chances are I wouldn’t have met Maddy. Depending on the day or my mood, meeting Maddy Sims is the best or worse thing that’s happened to me.

  “I think I’m going to take a shower then head down to the shelter.”

  “I’m having lunch with Mom later if you’re interested.”

  I pause as I’m about to step out of the kitchen. I’d love more than anything to have a carefree day with my mother and sister—one normal families have—but whenever my parents are brought up, I instantly go on guard.

  “If the shelter isn’t too busy, I might be able to leave.” Jodi sighs. We both know I don’t have to be at the shelter. “Send me a text before you meet Mom.”

  “Okay.” I can tell without looking at Jodi that my answer wasn’t what she wanted, but it’s all I have at the moment.

  ***

  “WHAT’S SHAKIN’, BABY GIRL?” I can’t help but smile the second I see Carla’s cheerful face.

  “I’m here to help like normal.”

  Carla reaches out and grabs my hand. “There’s something I need to tell you before you go back.”

  I pause after hearing the serious change in her tone. “Okay. What’s up?”

  Carla clears her throat. “Your dog. The one you liked so much...he was adopted early this morning.” My heart starts racing and I can feel a sharp pain in my side.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart. It was a nice, elderly couple looking for an older dog that they wouldn’t have to potty train. Your little guy seemed to bond with them instantly.”

  The pain in my side increases. “No, I understand. I’m happy that he found a home.” My comment is somewhere between a lie and the truth. I really bonded with him, and as much as I wanted him to find a home where he could be happy, I’m still reeling from the lack of closure.

  I knew Maddy was about to die. We talked before she became too ill for visitors, and I was able to do my own form of a goodbye, and every person I’ve dealt with since I’ve had some type of closure with. Until now. Until this little ball of fur I somehow fell for up and disappear on me.

  “Honey, you don’t look so well. Are you feeling all righ
t?”

  I force a smile and shake off my thoughts. “Of course. I’m happy that he found a home. That’s exactly what I was wishing for.” If I had anything permanent to offer him, I would have moved out of Jodi’s and into a place where I could have kept him with me. At least now I can leave without the worry that he’ll be put down.

  “O...kay,” Carla says with a look of concern masking her face.

  I didn’t do a great job of hiding my feelings. “I’m going to go start walking the dogs.” I walk past Carla and grab a leash.

  This is for the best, Lennie. You’ve already grown too attached to everything in Dallas.

  I force a smile and push down my pain to do the job I came here to do.

  ***

  I ROLL MY EYES AND curse to myself when I see the restaurant where my mother and sister are having lunch. An entire homeless shelter could eat for months off what people pay this place in a couple of hours. However, I’m going to keep my comments to myself and try to put forth an effort, but the second I arrive, I know it’s going to take an act of God for me to hold my tongue.

  “Can I help you?” the hostess asks, her nose turned up at me.

  “No. I’m good. I’m with them.” I point towards my mother’s table and start walking that direction.

  “Hello.”

  “Oh, Lennie, you made it.” My mother pretends for long periods of time that I’m a daughter she can be proud of, at least when my father isn’t around.

  “I told Jodi I would try.” I take an empty seat next to Jodi and across from Mom.

  “Oh, it’s been so long since the three of us had a girls’ day.”

  “Try never,” I snap.

  “Lennie,” Jodi mumbles. My mother’s face falls as the waiter arrives with their lunch.

  “Sorry, I didn’t think you were coming,” Jodi whispers.

  “Sweetheart, what would you like to order?”

  I glance up at the waiter. “I’ll take a flaming orgasm.” Mom gasps as the waiter’s eyes widen. “On second thought, I’ll just take a Bud Light. In a bottle, no glass.”

  I’m being a bitch and I know it, but the second I walk into pretentious places like these, the asshole in me comes out.

  “Certainly, ma’am.”

  Jodi pushes her food around while Mom stares at me.

  “How’s teaching going?” Mom’s eyes drop to her plate. My mother taught English Lit for years. She would take semesters off when we’d travel as a family, but she practically retired when I got sick the first time. After that, she made it her life’s mission to hover over me. Now that I’m no longer in her daily life, I was hoping she went back to the one thing that she was truly passionate about.

  “I guess it’s safe to say you’re not teaching. So what are you doing these days?”

  “Oh, I keep busy. Like you, I volunteer a lot of my time.”

  I bite my lip to keep from lashing out. Whatever my mother is doing, I know she’s not volunteering at the places that could really use her help.

  “I think you might be right, Lennie. I think Chad might like me,” Jodi blurts, causing both my mother and I to look at her.

  “Chad lives with Lennie’s...” Jodi stops to look at me. “With Lennie’s friend, Tyler. Lennie thought maybe he was interested in seeing me, and at first I wasn’t sure, but I think she’s right.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful. Tell me all about him. What does he do? Who are his parents?”

  Thankfully, Jodi doesn’t gush over men and ends the conversation as quickly as it started, otherwise Mom would be trying to set a wedding date.

  “Lennie, what about you?”

  I look up from where I was playing with my fingernail. “What about me?”

  “Has anyone caught your eye?” The last thing I want to do is talk about Tyler with my mother.

  “Mom, you know that’s not why I came back to Dallas.”

  Mom waves her hand. “Of course we know why you came back. I guess it was just wishful thinking that you might actually want to settle down.”

  Jodi reaches out and places her hand over mine. “I think we should take life one day at a time.”

  Instead of feeling relief, I feel another sharp pain in my stomach.

  “You’re right. One day at a time,” Mom adds. She has to be faking...but I guess I should be thankful that she’s putting forth any effort at all.

  ***

  I FIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN I’m feeling and down several pills.

  “Are you all right?” Jodi’s tone is firm as she watches me.

  “Yep.” The pain in my side causes me to act grouchier than normal.

  “They couldn’t get you in any earlier than they did? I would have thought after all the donations Dad has given that hospital they would have been a little more helpful making you an appointment.”

  I keep my eyes cast away from Jodi because if there’s anyone who can spot me lying it will be her. “I think I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”

  “Okay. I’ll be around for a little while in the morning. Hopefully I’ll see you.” I force myself to nod and smile before walking to my room.

  I send Tyler a text telling him I’m tired and going to bed. Seconds later, my phone buzzes with a text, but I don’t check it. I know without looking at it that it’s from him, and that he wants me to sleep in his bed. But I can’t...or at least I shouldn’t...not tonight.

  I TALKED MYSELF OUT OF knocking on Jodi’s door and asking if I could stay with Lennie. She’s been sleeping in my bed more nights than she hasn’t, and I’ve gotten used to having her with me. So much that I barely sleep without her.

  I never really thought about a relationship after Amber. I didn’t wonder twenty years down the road if I would be single or married. Relationships and women just weren’t on my radar. Not until Lennie—someone who’s only known for being unpredictable. If I thought Amber hurt me, it won’t be anything compared to what Lennie could do to me. But truthfully...I’m not nearly as scared as I should be. If Lennie ends up hurting me, it will be my own fault because I knew exactly the type of person she was before I allowed my heart to fall for her. But that doesn’t change the fact that my biggest fear is that she’s going to up and disappear from my life.

  When I finally drag my tired ass out of bed, I find that Chad already has coffee ready.

  “No visitors last night?”

  I start to laugh when I hear a knock at our door. “No, but thankfully she’s making an early morning house call.” I smirk at Chad as I pull the door open. My face quickly falls the second I see that it’s not Lennie but Amber. “What are you doing here?”

  “Um, I was hoping to talk to you.” My eyes dart over to Chad, who has his mouth dropped open.

  “Shit, Tyler, I think you made it over five years without a single family member stopping by and now they are coming out of the woodwork. Maybe it’s time we get some roach spray?” Chad sneers his comment towards Amber. Chad hated Amber long before she cheated on me. After we broke up, I often wondered if she tried something with him and he didn’t have the heart to tell me, but I never asked.

  “Amber, we have nothing to talk about.”

  Chad grunts as Amber steps into our apartment. “If you’d give me a few minutes...alone...that would be great.”

  I glance over at Chad, whose nose is still turned up. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Amber.”

  “Please,” she begs.

  I sigh and motion with my hand for her to come the rest of the way in. “I’m going to check my schedule. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” I nod my head before walking into our living room.

  Amber nervously takes a seat on the couch. “I’ve filed for divorce.”

  My eyes narrow. “I don’t give a damn.” Amber’s eyes frantically snap to mine. “I hope like hell you didn’t ask my brother for a divorce because you thought something would happen between the two of us because it never will.”

  Amber takes a deep breath but doesn’t s
ay anything. “You didn’t just cheat on me, Amber. You slept with my brother. I don’t know if he was filling your head full of crap or if you’re really that big of a whore, but I don’t care anymore. Brandon is your problem, and I don’t want you coming to my home again.”

  Her eyes water. “But we were friends. Once upon a time we were friends, and I thought maybe we could find that again.”

  I’m already shaking my head. “Friends don’t shit on each other. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the mother to my niece and nephew and nothing more.”

  The door opens. “Okay, you’re not working today. I have the best idea...” Lennie trails off when she spots Amber. “Oh, baby, I didn’t know you had company.” Lennie gives Amber an evil smile before walking over and climbing onto my lap.

  Lennie is overdoing it for Amber’s sake, but fuck if I don’t instantly feel better having her in my arms.

  “Amber was just leaving. Then you can tell me all about these plans.”

  Amber’s eyes watch as I wrap my arms around Lennie’s waist. “Best of luck to you, Amber.”

  “Oh. Yes, um...Thank you.” I can only imagine that this woman came to my house thinking she was going to win me back with her news, but that was never going to happen. Amber Jenson Brooker has caused my entire family nothing but problems, and I’ve personally washed my hands of her.

  Lennie hops up and walks over to the door. Amber gives me one last smile before following her.

  “Good luck with your divorce, Amber. I hope you don’t screw over the next guy you meet.”

  Amber’s face pales as her eyes dart back to mine. Clearly, she’s shocked that Lennie knows about her personal life. But, again, not my problem nor do I care.

  “I’ll talk to you soon,” Amber manages to say.

  “Amber, Tyler is too nice to tell you what he’s really thinking, so I’ll clue you in. He doesn’t want you, and that has nothing to do with me. You screwed him over when you literally screwed his brother. If you and Brandon are splitting up, that’s your problem, not his.”

  Amber chews on her lip as she watches me. Her eyes are pleading with me to tell her what Lennie just said isn’t true. “Goodbye, Amber, and in the future, I think it would be best if you didn’t come to my home again.”