Suicide Mission (Guarded Secrets Series Book 1)

by Sara Schoen

  “If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this situation! These people are my family—”

  “Who now want you dead.” I didn't miss the death glare she sent my way for interrupting her. “Can't you see that? These people aren't your family! If they were then they wouldn't be looking to kill you right now. They would only be after me, I’m the enemy. So why would they want you dead if you were family?”

  “They want me dead along with you because of the team that came last time. If you hadn’t come, any of you, then they wouldn’t be chasing me right now!” she said back.

  “Did you miss everything they said? They said that you made it easy for them; they were going to kill you anyway. No matter what, if I was here or not, your days with them were numbered from the start and somewhere inside that thick skull of yours you know that. I don't know what they did to make you believe they were family, but they’re not. Family doesn’t do this, they fight with you not against you!”

  “My father works for them! I'm their family!”

  “Where is your father now? He’s dead,” I said. “And from what I know—”

  “You don't know anything!” Tessa yelled back at me before I could finish my sentence. “You don't know anything about these people and what we are like! There's no other way out once you’re in. You either accept them as family and that they couldn't do anything wrong or you die. There is no way out of this life alive, it's either you're in or you're out.”

  “You made a mistake, Tessa, and for that they are trying to kill you, but you're still loyal to them. What is it going to take for you to see that they aren't the family you thought they were?”

  “Nothing, they are all I have! I can't just leave,” she said, reiterating what I had been hearing from her all along. There had to be another way to get her to see that there was a life for her outside of this one choice. We had to get out of this alive, and then she could escape from these people, but that involved us somehow getting out of here.

  “You have other options,” I said as I heard footsteps echoing somewhere close by. “Just like you have the option right now to live or to die right here. You can keep blaming me all you want, but I won't be the reason you're slaughtered right here on the warehouse floor!” I said as I grabbed her left wrist and pulled her along behind me.

  She didn't say much, clearly sensing the danger that was close behind us. I was thankful for a few moments of silence so that I could think, but I didn't know this building and Tessa wasn't being much help guiding us out of here. She finally spoke up when I hit a dead end and could hear one of the men close behind us. His voice rose as I tried to figure out how close he was while he continued to say he was going to kill us. She directed me into a storage room with a large lift gate that we could use to get out, but there was no way to use it without alerting everyone in the compound where we were.

  I pulled her to the side behind stacks of boxes so that we were concealed from view from either door. I needed a minute to think, I just needed time and then I could get out of here or I could waste time until Spit Fire and Raider found me, if they were even coming. They should have come by now, I needed help and it was time for them to show up. Spit Fire had told me that she would have my back, Raider had already helped me once. What were they doing?

  “They should just legalize marijuana and all other drugs. I wouldn't be running from people that are supposed to be my family, and you wouldn't even be here,” she said randomly, breaking me from my thoughts.

  “What are you talking about?” I started, before I realized that this could work out for me to have her distracted enough to keep her out of my hair until I thought of a plan. “Why?” I asked, even though I could see she was still on the theory that I was the reason she was put on their hit list.

  When she didn't answer I lifted the lid on one of the boxes to find packets of white powder inside. Slipping my knife out of my pocket, I then slid the blade between the plastic wrappings and poured out some of the white powder near me. I did my best to ignore the stinging smell when it fell out of the package. I knelt down and used my finger trying to redraw the diagram that Demon had shown me before the mission, hoping that I could figure out where we were and how I could get out of here alive.

  “Well think about it, Colorado legalized it and look what happened! The state made easily over one million the first day after it was legalized. About three months later, the state's Department of Revenue reported that pot sales were over nineteen million dollars. That's a lot of people who stopped calling their dealers, who stopped calling us for black market weed. There's no need to call dealers anymore. There's no need for dealers to call us for our product and why is that? Because now anyone can walk into a store and legally buy marijuana. Why do you think we suddenly had huge numbers in the East Coast? Because they haven't legalized yet. We used to distribute from Colorado, Arizona. And South Texas has a lot of ways to get into the rest of the country. Those were major points for us, and now one of them is gone.”

  “But that's not stopping you,” I said as I pointed to the white cellophane wrapped bags next to me. She hadn't even noticed that I used one of those packs for my drawing, but I was glad about that since it would have just lead to another argument. I could only hope to keep her on this track to distract her while I thought of a plan to escape.

  “Of course not. We aren't going to lay down and just give up. We'll just sell something else they haven't legalized yet. Sure losing marijuana was a loss, that's over two million dollars each year, but we move on and sell what others still want. It's true, a majority of the country prefers to buy marijuana, but now we just move on to where a majority prefers other projects.”

  “Well, that explains the drugs,” I mumbled as I lifted a clear pack of cocaine from one of the boxes around us and tore it open to expand my diagram. “But what about the murders?”

  “We get rid of rivals, people that cause problems, and since we came into this area recently it's been rather needed to make our mark,” Tessa said with a smirk. She either took great pride in the fact that people had died or she still held this group on a pedestal and thought the killings were rationalized and justified.

  “By killing civilians?” I asked, causing her smirk to wipe off her face and replacing it with a frown.

  “They were unfortunate casualties. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and there was no way to avoid it. There is a long history of violence for multiple cartels, most of it is drug-related violence that has led to the death of easily tens of thousands of people over like seven years or something like that. It's only going to get worse because the Sinaloa's are on their way here.”

  “Who?”

  “You really are a rookie if you don't know who they are.” Tessa scoffed with an over exaggerated eye roll at my stupidity. “The Sinaloa cartel controls most of the heroin traffic in the United States. The Sinaloa name was most known when one of their boss was captured last month after evading the law for thirteen years. That was your agency that captured him from what you told me.”

  “Us?”

  “Your friend Hess and her group I think were the ones that brought him in, but unfortunately, cartel dynamics and operations have not changed much since the arrest and you guys are still nowhere close to ending the drug trade. In fact, it's just making it more dangerous now. That's the catch twenty-two with drugs, if you legalize it then we will sell something more dangerous, but if they don't legalize it then we just become rich from illegal drugs and killing people.

  “And now you know how it feels to be on the other side of the gun like they did,” I mused as I caught the edge in her voice.

  “Unfortunately, but that's why I have you,” she added with a smirk. I could see that this realization she had about the drug trade was going to go a different direction then our previous conversations, and that worried me. I didn’t know what she had planned for me, but I hoped it wasn’t turning me into her cartel for forgiveness.

  “Me, what can I do? I'm
only helping you because right now it benefits me getting out of here. Last I remember, you didn't want to help me. I had to pull you into the line of fire to get you to agree so we could escape here. I'm not helping you because I want to, it's because I have to.”

  “If it wasn't for my knowledge of this building you would have been caught by now. I can get you out of this compound, you've said it yourself. We can work together and we can get out alive.”

  I looked at her to see if she was serious. I was pleased that she had learned that she was in the crosshairs now and had to get out, but she was always looking for her benefit. “And in exchange for your service, what do you get out of it?”

  “Take me to your agency. I want protection and I can help you bring down the major cartels, you can use my intelligence of their inner workings, but I clearly can't go back now and anywhere else I would be as good as dead. I can be of help to your agency,” she said, trying to convince me.

  “I don't make those choices, as you've said I'm a rookie.”

  “But your friends aren't. The dark haired one looks like he runs this,” she said, causing me to chuckle. That comment would just inflate Raider's already large ego. “And bringing you back safely from the deadly situation should win me some points with the director of Housing Organization for Military Employees, or did you guys change names again? It's so hard to keep up since you change the name of your agency so often,” she said with a smirk while her condescending tone made me want to slap her. She had clearly been keeping track of us since her last encounter with the agency.

  “Is that seriously what our agency is called,” I asked, trying to avoid answering her offer. I wouldn't know what to say, because I can't make those calls and I would just get myself in trouble. But no one else was here, no one else knew what it was like here and I had to get out alive. “Is that why everyone calls it home, because it stands for that?” I asked with a huff, trying to not give her the pleasure of knowing more than the agency through the cartel, but I had so much to ask since she knew more than I did. “How did you even see him?”

  “I told you, I knew we had intruders. I saw him, and figured he was checking up on someone since he was keeping a distance. Then I thought, what would be the one thing someone would be after? What would be worth their time if they wanted to destroy us? Our files,” she said with a smile.

  I rolled my eyes at her as I went back to the drawing of the compound in hopes to find a way out. If she hadn't figured that out, I wouldn't have been chased, wouldn't have gotten cut by the knives of her goons, and hopefully wouldn't have been running for my life Absentmindedly I touched my face and felt the dried blood flaking off at the touch of my fingers. I tried to fight the pain that was causing an ache where the knives had cut me. I could only hope that the bleeding would stop or I'd have to hear about it from Damon when we got out of here; if we got out of here.

  “You know what I think?” Tessa’s voice asked, interrupting my thoughts.

  “No, and do I want to? No,” I responded, the question lacing my tone as I tried to figure out where she was going with this.

  “I think,” she started, ignoring what I had said, “that you’re impatient, blunt, afraid of being bettered or replaced, and let’s not forget, emotional, and confrontational. When you’re in the zone, nothing can break you, nothing can catch you, but you’re a rookie. You’ve made a mistake, you have no idea how to fix it, and you’re beginning to wonder where those allies of yours are. Most importantly, now you’re on the run. You’re on the ropes, and soon you’re going to die. If you don't work with me, then we both die.”

  I let out an exasperated breath trying to control the anger that was building inside of me. I was about to let it go before a smile curved onto the corners of my lips. “You’re right, and you know what I think?” I could see her eyes shine, as if I was going to compliment her by saying she was strong willed to take out someone she saw as family. Which she was, I just wasn’t going to tell her. “You remind me of every drug cartel member, every mafia solider and the ones they steal from television shows. Selfish, serious, mean, and let’s not forget a murderer.”

  Tessa’s jaw dropped in shock as her eyes batted heavily, clearly insulted by what I said.

  “So, yeah, I’m on the ropes, but so are you. So how about you shut up, and let me handle this or you die with me. I can't give you that offer, so you'll just have to work with me and make that offer with the leader of my group. So for now there's nothing in it for you if you help me.”

  Before she could think of anything to say a door squealed open, followed by footsteps coming into the room. Tessa and I glanced nervously at each other, waiting for the other to respond to our offer. There was no answer on the offer, but for the first time, Tessa and I agreed on something. It was time for us both to shut up and lay low.

  Chapter 25

  “Tessa, I know you're in here,” Jax's voice lulled as he walked through the room. His footsteps echoed through the concrete room and bounced off the walls around us. Tessa and I crouched down to the ground, each giving the other a look that said it was time for us to cooperate with each other. “Speak up now and I can kill you quickly.”

  “There goes the family love,” Tessa said before she slapped her hands over her mouth, clearly not meaning to have said that out loud.

  “Come on, Tessa, I know you have questions.” Jax was baiting her in an attempt to get her to speak out. “Don't you want to know how I got your dad to do one final run? I'm sure he had told you that he hadn't run since the first few months when he joined us. Your mother was dying, and he had to pay for her medical bills and for you. He needed the money, and we offered him lots of money, and all he had to do was those runs. He paid for the medical bills, the funeral, and your schooling. But you came back to us, couldn't pay for college, and you needed the money now.”

  I glanced at Tessa to see her reaction; I wished that I hadn't. She looked like she was fighting between a destructive anger and tearful sadness. The tears won out, and she let one slip down her cheek before toughening up again and forcing herself to listen to his words. I just hoped that she wouldn't blame herself as I had, it was too painful and even she didn't deserve that.

  “I offered him more money than he could refuse,” Jax continued. “It would have been enough for your first year of college, all he had to do was finish a few runs for us then you would have been out of here. Could have gone to school out of state, and been far away from us.” Tessa put her hand over her mouth to control her cries. “All he wanted was for you to be safe, and out of harm’s way. I guess he didn't think you'd actually take an interest in the business. Maybe that's why he told you it was a family business, he didn't want to break your innocence and break the news that you were doing work for the cartel. But I'm curious, when did you find out you were selling drugs?”

  She let out a small whimper, there was too much coming at her at once and it was taking over and clouding her thoughts. Her tears were filling her eyes, and she was starting to shake. I placed my hand on Tessa's shoulder to offer some form of comfort, but Jax just kept throwing punches. It was clear that since he wasn’t leaving, he knew we were in here and just waiting for her to take the bait so he could find us.

  “I remember the day he found out you knew about it,” Jax said. “He was disappointed, wasn't he, Tessa? He found out you liked being a part of this, that you liked what we sent you to do, and enjoyed it. He tried to embrace it, but mostly he tried to make you hate it. He told you about the people we killed, but you thought we were family and could do no wrong. Soon you were thinking like us, anything to protect the family, right?”

  “Those people,” Tessa cried. “They are dead, because of them.” She let out a few quiet sobs, unable to stop the tears from falling anymore. “I protected them and their actions.”

  “You didn't know, Tessa,” I said, I couldn't believe it, because I wouldn’t be able to stand by while innocent people died, but it seemed true from what Jax was saying. />
  “Tessa, don't you want to know what your father said right before he died in my arms?” Jax continued, interrupting me without knowing. His voice reverberated off the walls, and danced around in the silence around us until he filled it. “He didn't even know I was the reason he died, even in death he was ignorant. Just like you,” he said, causing Tessa to let out an angry growl as she forced herself to stay put. Luckily, Jax was interrupted by his phone ringing and gave Tessa time to calm down slightly. I heard him release a loud groan as he went to answer the phone. “What do you want?” he questioned gruffly.

  “No, I haven't found them yet,” Jax answered, waiting for the other person to reply. I couldn't see his face, but the chuckle he let out told me it was good news. “Thanks, yeah I will look for the other one too.”

  “Hey, Sara,” he said, causing me to glance at Tessa in shock. How did he know my name? “Yeah, I know your name. We looked it up in our files. One of the hit men we use seems to have a rather large file on you, but he seemed to have lost track of you over the years. I can see why now,” Jax said. “You accepted being recruited into the agency, was it to find the man that took your family away from you? We wondered what he was doing that night he left here. He was going to kill your family. Man, having a hit put out on your family. That must have been a rough childhood. You’re back on his radar, so it’s only a matter of time before you die.”

  My family was targeted, no not targeted, but murdered. I thought it had been an accident; that it was my fault. There was no other explanation, but I could never get over how the car that hit us drove away. Anyone else would have stayed to make sure we were okay or for insurance reasons. They hadn't, and now I knew why, unless he was lying to me. I wanted to get up and demand his information, but Tessa was holding me back.

  “I’ve never seen Ash come back so happy. He came back with a smile on his face and said that he got rid of someone he hated. I wonder why he chose your family. What was so special about them? On paper you looked like a normal family, but someone in your family had him wound up tight. Then again, on paper it sounded like an accident, but you knew something was off about it didn't you, Sara.”