Learning to Walk Again

by S. L. Kassidy

  “I’m Nicole and also taken by an awesome guitarist,” she replied, motioning to Danny.

  “Damn, boss. Your lady is fine,” Lennox said and then made a show of biting his lower lip.

  Nicole giggled a little. She could see every story Danny told about him had to be true, just from this moment. “Thank you, I suppose.”

  Danny shook her head and put her hand through her hair. “Nicole, this is the orchestra. Orchestra, this is Nicole.” Danny pointed to each member of the orchestra. “Evie on the keyboard. Ryan on drums. Pedro on sax. Greg on trumpet. Dougie on the woodwinds. Annoying on guitar, aka Lennox. And Samiyah.”

  Nicole smiled at them all. “Nice to meet you.” They waved and grumbled back, but didn’t get a chance to say much as Danny escorted her out of the room. It sounded like they began arguing with each other, but it was muted thanks to all the noise going on around the theater.

  “Where do you want to go to eat? How much time do you have left?” Danny asked as they made their way out of the chaos.

  Nicole shrugged. “As long as I go back within the next couple of hours, I’m good.” That was partially due to hard work and partially due to being the daughter of the firm’s founders.

  “That’s good. I, unfortunately, only have an hour. A minute over and Andrew will be all in my ass, like he literally clocks the time I leave. Any place around here you want to go?”

  “I’ve only seen the pizza place around here, but I thought it might be good enough.”

  Danny nodded. “We order from there sometimes when we get caught up in practice and no one really wants to leave.”

  “There are times like that?” Hearing stories and seeing Danny now, it seemed like the orchestra couldn’t wait to get away from each other.

  Danny chuckled. “Yeah, they’re spoiled brats, but they’re also dedicated artists. They want to get this right. We want to get this right. There are times when we just keep it going and eat pizza like it’s ambrosia.”

  Nicole smiled and took Danny’s hand. “You’ll be awesome when the show opens.”

  Danny squeezed her hand while blowing out a loud breath. “If we keep practicing. I really need Pedro and Greg to get it together, especially when Lennox starts trying to play over everyone. Let’s not talk about that. There’s a couple of places around here to eat if you don’t want pizza.”

  “Pizza’s fine, love. I just want to spend time with you.”

  Danny smiled at her and Nicole finally felt herself relax. Her heart slowed down, and it was only then she realized how hard it had been beating before. Why was I so nervous? It seemed beyond silly now.

  Exiting the theater wasn’t as easy as entering. Eyes watched them go. Nicole assumed they were watching Danny leave.

  “Does Andrew have spies or something?” Nicole asked. The firm had plenty of those for various bosses and partners, her parents included.

  Danny looked around. “It’s that or they’re all checking to see if I’m leaving, then they know the orchestra is on break. The orchestra’s quite popular with the rest of the crew.”

  Nicole nodded. “As long as I’m not getting you in any trouble.”

  A loud scoff escaped Danny. “Oh, please. I’m always in trouble here, anyway.” She flashed Nicole a huge grin, earning a laugh as they left the building.

  They sat down in the pizza restaurant, munching on slices. Nicole went simple with pepperoni while Danny had ordered two slices. She only got toppings, pepperoni, and sausage, on one, which Nicole was happy for. Danny was trying to rein in her poor diet habits with junk food, finally accepting she didn’t have to keep up her habits from being homeless. Best of all, Danny let Nicole pay for the food.

  Their talks weren’t going in one ear and out the other. I just need to be patient. Of course, that was proving to be easier said than done.

  “This is nice. Can we do this again sometime?” Danny asked before taking a swig of her bottled iced tea.

  “Of course. I’ll call when I get a moment,” Nicole answered. Okay, this turned out to be a pretty good idea. Small quiet moments might be the way for them to pull through this busy period of their relationship.

  Danny chuckled and smiled at her, as if she were silly. “You don’t have to call. Just show up.”

  Nicole blinked. “You sure?”

  “Yeah. It’s cool.”

  Nicole grinned quite wide. It almost hurt her face, but the delight within her pushed that aside and those spiked balls in her gut dissolved. Please, let this be it. She wasn’t sure how much more back and forth she could take. Not when just the thought of seeing Danny had caused her distress.

  “I know this is moot since you’d have a harder time doing this with me, but you could if the mood strikes you,” Nicole said.

  Danny placed her slice back on the plate. “You sure? I mean, I know I don’t have a car or anything, but I’d like to be able to surprise you if I can.”

  “Danny, you know I’m always happy to see you, even if I’m working. Hearing from you brightens my day.”

  “It’s good to hear. One day, I’m gonna test this out, though. I don’t know how, but I will.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  After lunch, they walked back to the theater and Nicole’s car. Before she got in, Danny caressed her cheek and leaned down, giving her a tender kiss. Nicole practically melted. It was like all the distress they had gone through never happened.

  As they pulled apart and she stared into those grey eyes, she got hit with something that never occurred to her before. A part of her thought Danny would be the person who destroyed her. No matter what Danny did to her, she’d come back, she’d try harder, and she wouldn’t give up. But, she was probably the same for Danny. If anyone studied their history, they’d see how Nicole sinned against Danny. Were they meant to be each other’s destruction with sweet words and determination?

  “I really needed this. Thanks,” Danny said.

  Nicole shook her head. I really needed this, too. “Never thank me for spending time with you. This makes my day, you know?” And might be the calm before the storm, just as their last few times together had been.

  Danny gave her another kiss before Nicole got into the car. They said a couple of goodbyes before she could muster the strength to drive away. Danny watched her from the street until she had to turn the corner.

  ***

  Dane wanted to clap and click her heels as she watched Nicole leave, but just grinned, watching her breath escape her open mouth. She hadn’t realized how tense she had been until she saw Nicole. Beyond the lunch and spending time with Nicole, she felt forgiven. She left work with a million pounds on her shoulders and came back as if she were reborn into light without anything heavy in her heart.

  “My angel.” Dane tapped her heart before turning to go into the theater.

  Andrew was in her face almost immediately. “It’s about time you got back,” he huffed, throwing his hands down like a petulant child.

  “I’m entitled to an hour lunch last I checked,” Dane replied. She’d been gone exactly an hour.

  Dane was about to walk off, but Andrew grabbed her by the arm. He might as well have flipped a switch in her. With a snarl, Dane yanked her bicep back. She glared at him with fire in her eyes and lava in her belly, more than ready to explode all over him. He winced. All her tension was back, plus more. How many women has he grabbed in his life and thought it was okay? If she didn’t have to work with him, she’d put him on his ass.

  Dane put her finger in his face. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you don’t have the right to touch me. Now, listen carefully, you don’t ever fucking touch me again. In fact, don’t let me see you touch another fucking person like that.”

  He swallowed and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He had to swallow again and worked hard to glower at her, but he did it with red, bloated cheeks. “Get your stupid band.” He pointed to the orchestra room.

  Dane scowled, pointing at him. “Just
because you don’t want music doesn’t mean the orchestra’s stupid. They’re working just as hard as your actors and pulling together to bring this piece of shit you call a play into something worthwhile. Why don’t you learn to appreciate it?”

  “You can’t talk to me that way,” he replied, trying to puff himself back up, almost like a raccoon.

  Dane arched an eyebrow. “What way? The way where I tell you not to fucking touch me again?” Never in her life had she contemplated a lawsuit before, but she’d get Nicole to sue the shit out of him if he dared put his hands on her again. Mina and Clara would help once they knew the story. Hell, Kathleen might even help.

  Folding his arms across his chest, he narrowed his gaze and widened his stance. “If Calvin knew you allowed the band to wander around like lost babies while you went to get laid by some chick, he wouldn’t think so highly of you.”

  Dane’s hand balled into a fist, trembling. Taking a deep breath, she kept herself from hitting him. Calvin wouldn’t understand why she gave his son a black eye, even if he listened for the explanation. She focused on him.

  “First of all, what I do on my lunch break isn’t any of your concern. Second, the orchestras on lunch and what they do is none of your concern. I get that this doesn’t seem to register with you, but that’s how it is. I don’t know what your problem is, but from now on, don’t get in my face with them. If you want to tell your father, then you go right ahead. But, if you touch me again, I’m laying you out on your ass and I’m suing the ever-loving shit outta you. Tell your father that, too, if necessary.”

  Andrew flinched at the words 'your father,’ like she wasn’t supposed to know that. He gathered himself, eyes boring into her as if trying to make her crumble to dust. She gave as good as she got.

  “You think I got this job because my father’s the producer, huh?” he hissed.

  She squared her shoulders and folded her arms across her chest. “Isn’t that how it worked?”

  “Not everyone gets a job because of their parent, but you don’t know shit about that, do you?”

  She scoffed. “You’re the one standing here who hasn’t got a clue on how to get on without a parent holding your hand. What exactly is your issue? You’re pissed Daddy wanted music to go with your mediocre story or mad that my girlfriend looks better than yours?”

  He snarled and stomped his foot. “Your girlfriend can’t prance into our rehearsals! You’re not special.”

  “Never said I was and she showed up for lunch. I’ve seen plenty of other people get visitors during lunch. Is that really what has your panties in a bunch?” Dane had to shake her head. He was quite petty. He always came after her for the dumbest things. She came in everyday on time, did her job, and didn’t bother anyone.

  He grunted. “You can’t just have people wandering through. It’s distracting to everyone working.”

  Okay, that was probably true. “She showed up to surprise me.”

  “She’s your responsibility, whether or not you knew she was coming.”

  She grunted. Damn it, he had her there. “True.”

  “Yeah, I know it’s true. You and your lot aren’t the only ones working here. Your work isn’t more important than everyone else.”

  Dane put her hands up. “Yeah, I got it. We don’t think our work is more important.”

  “But, you act like it. If any of my people wandered in and out of the band room, harassing your people, you’d probably pitch a fit.”

  Okay, he had an inch and now he wanted a mile. “Not if they were all on break. Sometimes, your guys do come back there and talk to us, but apparently, you’re not keeping track of them like that. We don’t mind. In fact, we appreciate it. Now, if you don’t mind, I have practice to get back to. See you later.” Dane waved him off with one finger and went about her business.

  By the time Dane got back to the orchestra room, Lennox was already there. Barely a minute later, everyone reassembled in their spots. Practice picked up and went on like normal for a while. And then Andrew was at the door. Wow, he went from an inch to a mile to he wants the whole damn country?

  “Hey, your noise is carrying. We need quiet,” Andrew said.

  “And we need to practice,” Dane replied. Besides, she knew the music carrying was bullshit. There was always too much going on for anyone to hear what they were up to. If the music carried, they'd gotten complaints about it early during the production from people other than Andrew. No one even casually mentioned it.

  He held up a finger, as if reprimanding her. “We’re rehearsing the final scene. We need to get this just right.”

  Dane was about to tell him off, but then got an idea. “Guys, let’s go watch.” She had a feeling she would regret the suggestion, but it felt like the right thing to do right now. We should’ve done this sooner. Having the actual visual compared to what they imagined from the script and what the actors and other crew members told them probably would’ve given them a greater understanding of the story.

  Andrew’s mouth dropped open as they all filed out of the room to go see this unbelievable, vivid climax. It was underwhelming as expected, but caused an unexpected argument within the orchestra as they made their way back to their room. In their heads, the climax had been way more epic, and their music had matched.

  “We need to talk to Carlos and Peter about the climax again. They need to show it in the same way they built it up,” Dane said, walking a little behind her group. Carlos and Peter were the actors playing the hero and the villain respectively. They came to the music room every now and then, discussed their parts, and what they tried to do with the characters. Their talk was bigger than their actions.

  “Why the hell should Samiyah get the drums with her during that? I’d kill with the drums behind me. You should get the damn keyboard,” Lennox said, motioning to Evie.

  Evie drew back, genuinely insulted. “Hey! The fuck, dude?”

  Samiyah rolled her eyes. “Please. You’re lucky Dane is brilliant, or I’d bury you in any other song.”

  “Hold on, why are you both acting like there’s something wrong with my keyboard?” Evie scowled at them.

  “Because it’s weak,” Dougie chimed in.

  Dane winced. Oh, damn it. “Guys, no.” She tried to step between them, but that didn’t stop a damn thing. It was like an avalanche.

  “Oh, you mean like flute playing,” Evie shot back, jabbing her finger at Dougie as if he was the damn devil.

  “My flute kills! I easily dominate over you and the horns.” Dougie motioned to Pedro and Greg.

  “You play over us when you’re not supposed to, messing up the whole set,” Pedro replied, which wasn’t a lie. “That’s not dominating. That’s being a dick.”

  Oh, wow. Pedro might’ve been holding that one in for a while. “Guys, I know we’re all on edge, but this isn’t helping,” Dane said, but it didn’t even register.

  “Well, he is a dick,” Evie agreed with a nod.

  “The fact that you guys let a sissy ass piccolo play over you in and of itself is weak,” Lennox said. Greg gave him such a scathing look, Lennox should’ve dropped dead right there in the dusty hallway.

  They entered the room, but that wasn’t the end of it. “Oh, yeah, and you’re such a big man that you can’t even follow directions,” Samiyah said.

  “Okay!” Dane banged her hand against the desk. All eyes went to her. “Like I said, we’re all on edge. Attacking each other isn’t helping. We’re a team, and we’ve been playing like one most of the time. We can’t fall apart now.”

  “A team? Lennox wouldn’t know a team if one stomped him in an alley,” Pedro said.

  “Dougie, too,” Greg said.

  “That’s not true. We’re doing good.” It seemed good to Dane, but then again, maybe she didn’t know what a team was. When was she really part of a team, beyond Nicole? And she couldn’t even get her act together with Nicole. The thought of Nicole gnawed at her. Nicole got her in trouble. Nicole made Andrew right. Nicole got
her into this whole headache. It was all Nicole. Fuck. She didn’t need this.

  “How is this good?” Ryan threw his hands up.

  “Obviously not this. We’ve been playing well for the most part and together. We’re okay. We’re okay,” Dane said, pleading with them to get it. They were okay. The way their eyes drifted from her, they couldn’t believe her.

  It was clear the orchestra had been in their box too long. Dane decided today they’d end early, even though she was certain Andrew would end up in her ass again over the decision. Would he be right on that one, too? She didn’t want this headache, though. She hoped they’d apologize to each other without her having to direct that tomorrow.

  “All right, everyone. Go home. Come back fresh tomorrow,” Dane ordered, making a shooing motion to get rid of them. If there was a tomorrow, she wasn’t sure she looked forward to it.

  She didn’t have to tell them a second time, which really showed how much they needed the break. Usually, they’d be all about practicing for however long they were supposed to. Even Samiyah didn’t stick around.

  Dane fell into a chair as soon as she was alone. The scratching across the floor screeched up her spine, making the base of her skull throb. A migraine came on, even though she thought she’d avoid it once those clowns were gone. And then Andrew came in, and she could already feel her head explode. It was going to be a long day, even though technically the day was done.

  ***

  Sighing, Nicole rubbed her eyes as she roamed her school’s library once again. Each step was like pulling a ball and chain. The smell of the books, usually a familiar comfort, set her already raw nerves on edge today. She had been here too many times for her taste and her lab partner felt the same way. At least her relationship with that partner wasn’t wringing her out like a soaked washrag.

  She and Lisa kept hitting rough spots in their research, no matter what they did. And every time they thought they had a brilliant solution, another problem sprang up. School was halfway over. They didn’t need these roadblocks. Sure, it’d make for a great paper eventually, but they needed to finish if they wanted to pass and graduate.