Charged for His Sins

by Natavia

  “Adisa get your pretzel-head ass down from there before I tell York.” Hoppa half-joked as he walked up on us. Adisa gave Hoppa the middle finger.

  “Fuck you too that’s why your ass can’t dance,” Hoppa laughed and walked off. Adisa looked pissed.

  “Don’t trip off that. Get down because we are ‘bouta go to the dance floor and pick up some guys.” Samiah told Adisa as she helped her down from the bar. I went to the middle of the dance floor with my girls, but I wasn’t about to shake my ass on a nigga for free.

  When Snoop Dogg’s Drop It Like Its Hot came on me and my girls really started dancing, but we didn’t start acting a fool until Tipsy by J-Kwon came on. My girls were all dancing on someone, but I made sure to scoot away from every dude that tried to dance up on me.

  I had my eyes closed as I moved to the beat of the song, I was really lost in the lyrics until I heard a scream. When I looked over, Samiah was being dragged by Kyan towards the door. All of us instantly ran after them. We caught up with them when we got outside.

  “Bitch you’re trippin’! We will never be done and I bet not catch you hanging out with that stalker bitch Callie again,” Kyan said. He grabbed Samiah by the hair and yanked her as he yelled at her. He probably followed us to the club after Samiah text him and told him she didn’t want him anymore. I had a feeling he was sitting outside the building.

  “I better not find out you have been texting that bitch-ass nigga Zu. I’ll kill the both of y’all!” Kyan yelled.

  Adisa was able to reach Kyan to swing on him. He stiffed armed her, and with all the drinks she had, she went sailing to the ground. Me, Emeka and Callie jumped him but we had to stop every so often to avoid hitting Samiah because he was using her as a shield.

  “Let her go motherfucker.” A big, stocky black woman got out of a cab and pointed her gun at Kyan. He pushed Samiah on the ground and caused her to scrape her knees and elbows.

  “Ladies get in my cab and I’ll take y’all home.” The cab driver called out to us as we helped Samiah off the ground. The cab driver kept her gun on Kyan until all of us was in her cab. She hurriedly sped off after she got back in.

  Samiah was sobbing into Adisa arms. She had bloody spots on her knees, elbows and a few patches of hair missing. I couldn’t wait until we saw that nigga again when we were sober. I text Cayman and told him everything that happened. He told me he hadn’t talked to Kyan since the pool party at Adisa’s house.

  11. Samiah

  January 2005

  W hen I woke up my head was pounding. When I looked around I was stretched out on the couch. The sun beamed into the living room through the slit in the blinds. I covered my eyes and stumbled off of the couch. I closed the blinds shut, and when I turned around I tripped over something on the floor. When I looked around the living room the girls were stretched out on the floor. I couldn't remember everything about the night before, but I knew for sure Kyan was creeping with, Callie. I somewhat remembered tussling with him. When I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I could’ve died. My hair was missing and I had bruises on my face. It made me think back to the first time he put his hands on me. I should've paid close attention to the signs, but I guess I was desperate to fill the void of missing Zu. It happened one night after we left the movies…

  As we were exiting out of the movie theater I saw, Hoppa. He was in the Baltimore area because he had family around the way. He was with a girl whom I’ve never seen before. I waved to him, he walked over and hugged me. Hoppa was like a brother to me, so I couldn't understand why Kyan was so upset.

  “We need to go,” Kyan tried to rush me while I was talking to, Hoppa. I knew Hoppa was strapped and would've wasted no time shooting Kyan. I was so pissed off I felt like asking Hoppa for his gun so that I could shoot Kyan, myself.

  “Wait, nigga. She’s talking to her fam,” Hoppa said.

  “I’ll be in the car,” Kyan said before he walked off.

  “I ain’t feeling that nigga, Samiah. On some real shit, I better not catch him around the way. I’m going to end up murking his bitch-ass.” Hoppa said and I chuckled.

  “I’ll let you know if I need a favor. I’m thinking about dropping his jealous ass soon,” I said. Hoppa’s date walked over to us. I guess she got tired of standing there alone and didn’t trust him around another female. I couldn’t blame her because he got around just as much as, York. The female was a cute red-bone with long blonde braids. She rolled her eyes at me and I rolled mine back.

  “I’ll talk to you later,” I said to Hoppa.

  “I don’t think so!” the female said to me.

  “Aye, yo. Mind yah’ business when you see me talking to my fam. Go the fuck back over there or something,” Hoppa spat. The female sucked her teeth and walked back over to the popcorn stand. I shook my head because Hoppa was so disrespectful.

  “Go ahead and get to your date. I don't got time for it. I left that hood shit back at home,” I said and he chuckled.

  “Be easy and I’ll see you around,” he replied.

  I thought about Zu while I headed to Kyan’s car. Talking to Hoppa brought back many memories. It also made me realize how much I missed York too. It was always the three of them together, and nothing felt the same anymore. Kyan hung up the phone when I got inside of his car.

  “That was long! What the fuck were y’all doing?” Kyan yelled at me. It was his first time yelling at me. He was always sweet to me.

  “Talking to my brother,” I said.

  “Is he trying to get you back with, Zu? That’s why Zu calls so much. Are you fucking, Zu, again?” Kyan asked.

  “Take me home! I don’t have to explain shit to your punk-ass. Who are you talking to like that anyway? Please, don’t take me there,” I said.

  “Bitch, walk home!” he yelled.

  I sat in the passenger’s seat with my arms crossed. He was out of his mind if he thought I was going to walk across town.

  “Get out of my car, Samiah!” he yelled again.

  “Make me, bitch,” I replied.

  My head hit the window because he slapped me. I took my seatbelt off and climbed onto his lap. I gave him an ass whipping his mama never gave him.

  “You got me fucked up, punk! Hit me again!” I yelled and slammed my fist into his face. He covered his face as I continued fighting him.

  “Stop please! Get off me! I’m sorry!” he yelled.

  I sat back on the passenger’s seat and fixed my clothes. He looked in the mirror and his lip was bleeding.

  “You busted my lip,” he complained.

  “I use to fight my brother when I was younger. I fight niggas, so don’t you ever in your life put your hands on me again,” I said.

  “I just don’t want to lose you. I’m really feeling you and I thought he was going to take you away from me. I promise I won’t touch you again. Please, just forgive me,” Kyan begged with tears in his eyes. I ignored him on the way home as he begged and apologized to me.

  “You will never find another nigga like me,” Zu’s words played inside of my head. I forgave Kyan because I didn’t want to prove to Zu that he was right. It was a pride thing I had…

  I stared at myself in the mirror more pissed off at myself than I was at Kyan. I didn’t like him much and only tolerated him because of the situation with Zu. My cell phone rang on the sink and it was Zu calling me. I was ready to ignore it, but I knew he would've kept calling.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Yo, unlock the door,” he said with anger dripping from his voice.

  “Where are you at?” I asked dumbfounded.

  “Where do you think, shorty? Unlock the fucking door and stop playing with me,” he said. I hung up and hurriedly fixed myself the best way I could. I stepped over Callie who was laid out on the floor to get the door. When I opened the door Zu was standing in front of me with red eyes.

  “Why I had to hear from the streets about last night? Yo, look at your fucking face, Sam!” he yelled and I jum
ped.

  “Not now Zu,” I pleaded.

  He walked past me into the apartment. He headed for my bedroom and I followed behind him. I closed my door and locked it. He turned my face side-to-side to look at the bruises. I didn’t look as bad as I felt. Kyan knew I was drunk and took advantage of me.

  “I’m going to beat that nigga’s ass!” Zu said.

  He pulled me into him and hugged me. I melted in his arms as he squeezed me.

  “I miss you so much,” I admitted.

  “I miss us too. I couldn’t wait until you dumped that nigga, but I’m pissed it had to end like this,” he said. Zu looked through my hair and noticed I had a few bald spots, but its nothing serious that I couldn’t cover up. I didn’t remember Kyan pulling my hair. Zu’s phone rang and it was a collect call from York. I was actually glad he was locked up that time because he would've gone to prison with a murder charge. York would've killed Kyan and that was a fact. I heard York’s voice booming through the phone. What Kyan did to me spread fast. Zu handed me the phone a few seconds later.

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  “You better give Zu that nigga’s address, Sam. I’m not playing with you. Don't think my reach can’t reach far because I’m behind bars. That nigga fucked up! You can forget about me if you ever talk to that fuck nigga again and I mean it! I put that on my unborn seed,” he said. I rolled my eyes thinking about him knocking Tracy up. I knew my brother got around, but I thought he was careful when it came to protecting himself. He admitted he went raw in her one time, but Adisa thought the condom broke. I wouldn't dare tell her that York did that because she would've assumed he loved Tracy. I loved Adisa to death, but she had deep-rooted issues.

  “Okay, I’ll give it to him,” I replied.

  “Is your face fucked up? How many times did that nigga hit you?” York asked. I looked at Zu and he was waiting for the answer too. York’s voice was deep and loud so Zu heard everything he was saying.

  “He did it a month ago because I was talking to Hoppa. He thought Hoppa was trying to put in a word for Zu. I whipped his bitch-ass though.” I said as if it was justifiable.

  “WHAT!” York yelled into the phone.

  “Damn it York chill the hell out. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. I’m not a little girl anymore,” I replied.

  “You will always be a little girl to me so get over that bullshit you are spittin’. You sound dumb right now, yo. Nobody touches my sister! I don’t give a damn if you shot the nigga. He was supposed to get his ass beat then and you were supposed to leave his bitch-ass alone. Tell that nigga Zu I’ll call him back later. I’ll call you back tonight. I’m hot right now and I don’t feel like talking.” York said before he hung up on me.

  “Yo, you just straight out stubborn. You just didn’t want me to prove to you I was right,” Zu said.

  “How are you different than anybody? He physically hurt me, but I will heal. The shit you did to me is permanent. I will hurt for a very long time, so how do you feel about that? Maybe, you should whip your own ass while you’re at it,” I said. Zu sat on my bed and sulked with his elbows resting on his knees.

  “I wanted to tell you but I knew you wasn’t going to believe me. I wanted to wait until I got the results back but I still fucked up. A nigga called my phone last week and told me that Zula is his daughter. He had the test results to prove it too. A few people told me Zula wasn’t mine before the test results. Tacara own cousin snitched on her to York and told him I was taking care of another nigga’s seed. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I was attached to Zula. She was with me almost every day,” Zu said.

  “I have nothing against the baby and you know that. I guess what’s done is done. We are still cool though,” I replied.

  “I’m going to be your man again. I promise you I will,” Zu said. I blushed and playfully rolled my eyes at him before I laid my head on his shoulder. Zu was a good friend to have despite what he did to me. I couldn’t turn back the hands of time, but I could move forward. Zu left my apartment after I gave him Kyan’s address. My friends were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. They were still dressed in the clothes they wore to the club.

  “About time you and Zu made up,” Adisa said. Her cheeks were stuffed with bacon.

  “All of that money your parents wasted sending you to etiquette classes, and you still don’t know how to eat without talking. You have bacon pieces coming out of your mouth,” I teased. Adisa took a sip out of her orange juice and loudly burped.

  “Really?” Emeka asked her.

  “You heard me burp, didn’t you? Y’all are too damn stuck-up for me,” Adisa said.

  “Naw, you are just too ghetto for us ghetto girls,” Faraji replied and we laughed.

  “Where is, Callie?” I asked.

  “She left because she had to go to work. She was three hours late,” Faraji answered.

  “So, what are the plans for today? It’s been a while since we all hung out. Awwww, I feel emotional,” I said.

  “We can finish whipping Kyan’s ass. I can’t believe him. We jumped him and he was still trying to tussle with you. It took the cab driver to get out and intervene. I’m surprised you are calm about the situation,” Faraji said.

  “I’m okay. Zu is going to beat that ass,” I replied.

  “I have to get going. I’m hanging out with Zadik for the rest of the day,” Emeka said.

  “Awww how sweet,” Faraji teased.

  “That’s her baby. I think Emeka is going to be married before all of us.” Adisa said and we all agreed. Emeka wasn't really a pushover, but she didn’t have much of a voice in certain situations. I was glad that she didn’t fall in love with a man like, Kyan because I felt like she would've been stuck in the situation. Emeka left after she sat her plate in the sink. I took a shower, and we all lounged around in the living room watching TV.

  ************

  A month later

  Everything was back to normal in my life. Zu was a little sad about Zula but he got over it. We started hanging out again but nothing happened between us. We occasionally kissed and fooled around, but it didn’t go past that. I buried myself into my school work by studying harder. I was determined to stay on track. My setback was dating Kyan, he ended up having to be hospitalized. Zu went to Kyan’s home and waited for him to come outside. Careful not to be identified Zu wore a mask and attacked Kyan in the parking lot where he lived. A week later, Kyan was shot a few times but he survived. I knew that was Hoppa’s doing.

  I was awakened out of my sleep by a call from my mother. Tracy had the baby prematurely. I immediately climbed out of bed and headed to, Annapolis. Zu rode with me because he had stayed the night with me. We had fell asleep in my room watching movies.

  “I don’t think the baby is his,” I said to Zu.

  “I have a feeling it is though,” Zu said and I rolled my eyes.

  I really wanted Adisa and York to work out because they loved each other. It was a complicated thing they had going on, but it worked for them. When we arrived at the hospital, I spotted Tracy’s family in the waiting room. They all had tears in their eyes. The baby was only a few weeks early so I didn’t understand why everyone was so sad. It wasn’t until minutes later I found out what really happened. Tracy was walking to the corner store when she got caught in a drive-by shooting, so that’s why her and the baby were fighting for their lives.

  Zu, my mother, and I sat on the opposite side of the room. The doctor came out hours later to tell us Tracy was in a stable condition. Her mother, Joy looked at us and rolled her eyes. She was giving us dirty looks the whole time. I didn’t understand what her problem was until she said something.

  “Y’all can leave. It ain't like y’all have been doing shit for my daughter anyway,” Joy said. Her mother was a crackhead. Rumors about her and my father messing with each other circulated the hood. I also heard my father got her pregnant and she left the baby at the hospital. Joy had nine kids and the system raised all
of them. The nerve of her to come at us like that as if she was a good mother. I think the real issue was because she didn’t like my mother for whatever reason. Maybe she thought my father was still messing with my mother. She lost her damn mind if she thought my mother wanted my father who probably had AIDS.

  “What were we supposed to do for YOUR daughter?” my mother asked Joy.

  “Help her with her pregnancy! What do you think?” Joy asked. Joy was a pretty woman and she looked like the singer, Sade. Unlike my father, you wouldn't have known she got high unless someone told you.

  “Ummmm, Tracy is a grown woman. What the hell do you mean help her? We are here for the baby and now that the baby is born, we are going to make sure he or she is good,” I said.