Charged for His Sins

by Natavia

  “Beat her ass Joy!” one of her family members said.

  “Let’s go Ma. We can come back some other time because I’m not trying to act a fool in front of you,” I said. Zu ended up arguing with one of Tracy’s brother. Her family was around ten deep and it was only three of us.

  “Let’s dip before I catch a charge. I’m strapped right now and I’ll shoot one of these muthafucka',” Zu said. He wasn’t lying when he said that. He used to run the streets with York and Hoppa. Zu still had his hood ways and they weren’t going anywhere. As soon as we walked out of the hospital, my mother got inside of her car and left. I knew she was saddened by her grandchild being in the NICU.

  An hour later, we were back at my apartment. Adisa was sitting on the couch watching TV. She held back her tears because she didn’t want Zu to see them fall. Zu sensed me and her needed to talk so he went back to my bedroom. I sat next to Adisa on the couch.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “The baby is in NICU and Tracy is okay I guess,” I replied.

  “York really had a baby, huh?” Adisa asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  “This still hurts Sam,” she said.

  “I know but at least you can move on. Who knows Adisa. You’ll be married with a family of your own a few years from now. Jaz is a good guy so maybe you should make it official with him.”

  “He is a good guy but the heart wants what the heart wants,” she replied.

  “What if the heart can’t get what it wants? Does it wait or move on to discover something that's better?” I asked. She dropped her head down in frustration.

  “I don’t want to get over York. I still think about him every day. I know I need to move on and that's what hurts the most,” she said.

  “I know it ain’t easy but it doesn’t last forever,” I replied. She nodded her head in agreement. When I walked into my bedroom, Zu was in my bed only wearing boxers. I stripped down to my bra and panties before I got into bed with him. He wrapped his arm around me and I fell asleep in his arms.

  The next day I went back to the hospital with my mother, and we were able to see York’s son. I couldn’t see the resemblance yet but I knew he was going to be dark-skinned. We had to watch him through a large glass window while he laid inside of an incubator with tubes running through his little body. I wiped my eyes because I couldn’t hold back the emotions. He was so small and I wanted to protect him from the world. Tracy was still out of it because of her surgery so she couldn’t have any visitors yet. York’s son didn’t have a name yet and it pissed me off.

  “I want him,” my mother said.

  “I think he will be better off with us anyway. Tracy cares about nothing but the streets. Look at her family,” I replied. We stayed in the hospital for an hour before we left. I went back to my mother’s house to help her prepare dinner. Our family from Virginia were on their way. My mother called the family and told them about York’s son, so everyone wanted to see him. We didn’t know if he was going to make it due to complications he had with his breathing. I fried the chicken and made mac-and-cheese. My mother fixed greens with smoked ham, cornbread, fried fish and potato salad.

  “I missed cooking with my baby,” my mother said.

  “I know Ma. You don’t know how hard it is not being able to eat a home-cooked meal every night. I be too swamped with homework,” I replied.

  “I’ve noticed you lost a little weight,” she laughed.

  I lost fifteen pounds. I was stressed behind York getting locked up and Zu with a baby. My stomach went down which made my hips wider. My waistline was smaller and my ass looked bigger. I was still thick though, but my figure was more defined.

  Two hours later, my aunts and cousins arrived. My favorite cousin burst through the door. She was the same age as me and was hood at the heart. She lived four hours away so I only saw her mainly on holidays. Every so often, she’d drive down to hang out with me but she wasn’t able to with her new job. My cousin Remeek, was slimmer than I, and always sported long weaves. Her caramel skin and pretty chestnut colored eyes gave her a soft look until she opened her mouth. She had a scar on her chin because she got into a fight in high school and was cut with a razor blade. A few years prior, she stayed with me for the whole summer. She hooked up with Hoppa and it was the worst thing I’ve seen because all they did was fight. She stabbed him in the arm when she caught him with a girl. Truth be told, she hasn’t visited much since.

  “About time!” I yelled when I hugged her. I didn’t say much to my other cousins because they thought they were better than us. None of them congratulated me once they found out I went to school on a scholarship.

  “We have to see York before I go back home,” she said.

  “Hoppa is coming over,” I replied.

  “Girl, I’m over that nigga. I just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend Scrilla,” she said.

  “Scrilla?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but his real name is Jonah. We call him that because he’s the man to see around our way if you know what I mean,” she replied. In so many words she was telling me that her new dude was a drug dealer.

  “Where is my girl Adisa?” she asked.

  “At home or kicking it with her boyfriend. I didn’t bother asking her to come because it’s still fresh on her mind. She’ll come around hopefully,” I said.

  “York and his friends ain’t shit though. I figured that out at an early age.” She replied and I agreed with her.

  It was around fifteen family members inside of my mother’s house. I sat behind a tree in the back of the house with Remeek. We were passing a bottle of 99 apples back-and-forth. I had a slight buzz and I needed to smoke to mellow it out.

  “Come take a ride with me,” I said.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “To get something to smoke and possibly hit up the liquor store,” I replied. I was excited to see my cousin and there was no telling when the next time I was going to see her again. She was only visiting for a few days and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. I saw a few of York’s friends standing on the block when I rode up the street. I knew one of them had something to smoke so I pulled over. Remeek stepped out of the car with me.

  “Hey, Bud. I know you got some kush on you,” I said.

  “I ain’t got none shorty but Hoppa does. He’s in the store right now,” Bud said. Bud was short, black and pudgy. The only reason why the girls were checking for him was because he was paid. Bud rubbed the hairs on his chin as he checked Remeek out. He nodded his head in approval. The nerve of him!

  “You can’t introduce me to your friend? Who is she? I don’t think I met her before,” Bud said to me. Remeek sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. I already knew Bud was far from her taste in men. His height alone was a turn off; he was five feet even.

  “She’s my cousin and she’s just visiting,” I replied.

  “Can I hang with y’all then?” Bud asked. He was the most annoying one out of York’s homeboys. Hoppa came out of the store with a black-n-mild hanging from his lips. When he saw Remeek he froze in his tracks. She smacked her teeth and headed for my car. The hate they had for one another was like no other.

  “Damn, she’s still a simple muthafucka. I’m glad she left because shorty is crazy. How long is she in town for anyway with her hot-ass?” Hoppa asked me.

  “Don't worry about it. I’m looking for some kush,” I replied.

  “But I’m saying though, Sam. I’m trying to holla at your people’s,” Bud said.

  “Nigga, mind your business. I smashed her and no the homies can’t smash. I don’t like shorty, but no nigga around here is touching that one bruh,” Hoppa said. He was low-key jealous and cock-blocking while doing so. He went inside of his pocket and pulled out two fat bags of purple-haze. I thanked him and went back to my car.

  “Damn, Hoppa got finer!” Remeek said and I chuckled.

  “He popped your cherry, didn’t he?” I teased.


  “Don't bring that up, bitch. I’m still mad he did that and fucked another chick the same day. I thought he was liking me,” she replied.

  “He was but you were young and sometimes shit just happens. We have to live and learn to become better as adults,” I said.

  “I feel you,” she said.

  Our next stop was at the liquor store. We grabbed a bottle of Smirnoff vodka and a few Dutch masters. We went through a few hoods before we headed back to my mother’s house. I was tipsy and Remeek was drunk. There was an accident on the route through the city to my mother’s house, so I had to take the highway. I was pissed off because I didn’t realize how late it was. I had so much fun with Remeek I forgot about the dinner at my mom’s house. I knew my mother sat a plate to the side for us because there were never any leftovers. My phone rang on my lap. It was Zu calling me.

  “Get the phone for me,” I said to Remeek. When I looked over at her she was asleep. I took my eyes off the road to grab my phone.

  BOOM!

  I slammed into the back of a black Mercedes Benz. Remeek jumped up and looked around. The hood of my car was smashed in and smoking. The driver stepped outside of his Benz, and my heart started racing. I was drunk driving under the age of twenty-one. It was something that wouldn't look good on my record. I couldn’t upset my mother or brother.

  “Oh my God! What am I going to do?” I panicked.

  “Roll down the window and give him your insurance information,” Remeek said. I rolled down the window as the man from the car I hit approached me.

  “Hey Mr. Smith,” my voice cracked as I greeted Adisa’s father. It was just my luck that I ran into the back of him.

  “Samiah, I know you haven’t been drinking tonight,” Mr. Smith said.

  “I’m sorry Mr. Smith, I will pay for your car to get fixed. Just don’t call the police. It might ruin my scholarship.” I pleaded as tears welled in my eyes.

  “Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t do that to my daughter’s best friend. If it wasn’t for you, Adisa probably wouldn’t have graduated high school. I know how much of a good influence you have on her.” His eyes told me what he really thought. He felt like it should’ve been the other way around. It was a slap in the face because I wasn’t the cream of the crop.

  “I’ll call a tow truck and have a doctor come to my house to check the two of you out. The hospital will report this incident and I don’t think you want that,” he said. He opened my car door and helped me out.

  I put all my important papers in my purse. As soon as Remeek opened the door, she leaned over and puked her guts out. I wanted to puke myself. I helped her to Mr. Smith’s car and she laid in the backseat.

  “Sit in the front so she can stretch out. Give me a few minutes while I make a few calls,” Mr. Smith said. I got in the front seat and my head was pounding. Mr. Smith stood outside of his car on the phone. I was so scared I was trembling. I wanted to go home to get in bed.

  “I feel like shit.” Remeek moaned from the backseat of the car. I hoped it was the alcohol that had her feeling that way and not the accident.

  “Yeah me too. We need water and aspirin when we get home.” I told her as my eyes began to feel heavy. Mr. Smith opened up the driver’s side door and got in. My head felt like it was going to explode when he slammed the door.

  “The doctor is a good friend of mine. He’s on his way to my home now. The tow truck will pick up your car in thirty minutes,” he said.

  “Thanks for everything although I messed up your car,” I said.

  “I would want someone to do the same thing for my daughter.” He patted me on my leg and the gesture caught me by surprise, but I brushed it off. I was drunk and overthinking everything.

  “So how is school?” he questioned as he maneuvered his luxury car.

  “College is a tad more intense than high school was and a lot more work. I have to study a lot more than I did a year ago, but I know the rewards will make all the hard work worth it,” I answered truthfully.

  “My advice to you is to find a good study group full of people that have the same major as you, and take as many classes a semester together as you can,” Mr. Smith said.

  I tried to picture who I could ask to join my study group but for some reason, my mind just couldn’t focus. My body started to feel sore, my head hurt and I was tired.

  Somehow I must’ve fallen asleep on my way to his home. Mr. Smith shook me and told me to “wake up.” I looked and we were parked in his driveway. I hoped Mrs. Smith was asleep because she was someone I couldn’t tolerate. I looked in the backseat and Remeek was missing.

  “Where is Remeek?” I asked.

  “She just walked in the house with the doctor. She was trying to wake you up, but I told her I had it from here. Go inside and sit on the couch,” he replied. My feet sluggishly dragged across the ground as I walked to the front door. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder to keep me steady. For some reason, it sent chills down my spine. My head was spinning and pounding more than ever. I hoped I didn’t have alcohol poisoning. After he helped me to the couch, he disappeared down the hall. Seconds later, Mr. Smith came into the living room with another man.

  “I heard you got into a little fender bender accident,” the doctor said. He was a tall man who appeared to be in his mid to late forties. He was dark-skinned with a close cut haircut. He wore a button-up shirt and dress pants. He had a brown leather bag in his hand. He kneeled in front of me with a small flashlight in his hand. He checked my eyes, I guess to see if my pupils were dilated from doing drugs.

  “Does anything in particular hurt on you?” he asked.

  “I have a serious headache. It intensifies when I hear loud noises or when the light shines in my eyes,” I replied.

  “How intense is the pain from a one to ten?” the doctor asked.

  “Nine,” I said.

  “I’m going to give you something for the head pain since that’s the only thing that hurts,” he replied. He went into his bag and handed me two pills with a small bottle of water. I took the pills and washed them down with water.

  “Where is my cousin?” I asked.

  “She’s down the hall in the guest bedroom. I’m going to walk Phillip to the door. You know your way around,” he said. I went down the hall to check up on Remeek. She was snoring loudly with a small trash can next to the bed. I checked to see if all of her clothes were intact. I climbed on the bed next to her as my eyelids got heavy. Seconds later, I was out like a baby.

  I woke up a few hours later disoriented. I looked around the room and it was a different room. I was in the basement. I was naked from the waist down. My vagina was sore and my asshole was on fire. Tears instantly welled in my eyes when I felt something sticky on my exposed stomach. My shirt was raised to my chest and one of my breast dangled out of my bra.

  I couldn’t believe what had happened to me there had to be another explanation. I went into the bathroom in the basement to look in the mirror. I instantly began to dry heave; my stomach was covered in sperm. I picked up the nearest towel and scrubbed my stomach off, I wanted to get in the shower and scrub my body raw. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought about someone raping me.

  “Good morning,” he said from behind me. I used the towel to cover my bottom half.

  “What did you do to me?” I asked.

  “The same thing your disgusting brother has been doing to my daughter! How do you think a father should feel watching his daughter getting fucked by an uneducated thug? I know he knocked her up too. I know everything!” he yelled. He must’ve had a camera in his daughter’s room.

  “You will not get away with this!” I gritted.

  “Me and Tim Eden are very good friends. Matter of fact, he’s my brother-in-law,” he bragged. I remained silent because I didn’t know what the sick pervert was talking about.

  “How silly of me. Tim Eden is the warden at the prison your brother is in. I can make his life a living hell. How about the dean at your college kick you out f
or giving his school a bad reputation? I’m running for mayor in case you didn’t know. I can complain about my experience with underage drinking and how it’s affecting our youth. I can also go to the hospital and complain about my back injury. You won’t tell a soul; do you hear me?” he asked. He grabbed my face and squeezed it.

  “Just think about those animals in prison wanting a lighter sentence for a paid favor. Think of York’s funeral. Now, get dressed and go upstairs to eat breakfast with your cousin. My cook fixed a marvelous eggs benedict. Make sure you look presentable because if you don’t, I’ll bury you in my backyard. I doubt if anyone will miss your poor black ass,” he said. He stepped away from me and pulled something out of his pocket. It was my black lace panties. He held them to his nose and inhaled my womanly scent.