Winning Back Ryan

by S. L. Siwik

  “Excellent,” Jack said, “Let’s give a round of applause for Annie!” The rest of the women clapped, two giving me dirty looks. They apparently wanted to practice with Jack.

  “Now I’m going to go down the row and practice individually with all of you. While I’m doing that I want you to look over these pamphlets about all the hotline and emergency numbers in the area in case you find yourself in a compromising situation. These numbers I recommend saving in your cell phone just in case. Also, I made up a list of places in this area that are most commonly targeted by attackers- places you want to stay away from. Also, here is a diagram of the most effective places to hit on a man’s body to incapacitate him. Remember, what’s our rule?”

  The women chanted back in chorus.

  “Always try to defuse the situation first before a physical confrontation.”

  “Excellent,” Jack said before handing out the paperwork. I looked it over, until I realized my cell phone buzzed again.

  “Oh, for the love of God,” I muttered, taking it out. One missed call from my mother, one from Ryan, and one from Brian. There were voicemail messages, so I stuffed it back in my pocket. They could all wait a little longer.

  We learned two other moves before the class called to an end. My phone buzzed again, as a woman came over to welcome me to the class.

  Taking my phone out of my pocket, I listened to my voicemails.

  “Honey, just got back from my origami class. Thought I’d call. Daddy said you talked to him today. Sorry I missed you. Call back. And why did I need to find out that Ryan cheated on you from Linda Aschcroft?”

  My mother was always trying new things. Every month she tried a new class. She said she was reinventing herself like a pop star. My father always rolled his eyes at this. For the most part, he endured her eccentrics and paid for them. He put a stop to a few of them like when she took stunt double classes and broke her leg ten minutes in. My klutziness came from somewhere.

  I listened to the next message.

  “Hey, Annie, it’s Ryan. The guys from Ricochet wanted to come over tonight. Brian’s commercial is airing tonight. Thought I’d call to see if you didn’t mind.”

  I sighed, listening to the next voice mail.

  “Annie, your mom just called looking for you. She was worried when I said I didn’t know where you were. I recorded your brother’s show tonight. George told me he had to cancel your date. Want to come over?”

  I texted Ryan back: I don’t mind. Tell them congrats.

  I called Brian back, “Hey, not going to the bar tonight?” I asked. Brian sitting home on a Friday night was a rare event like a shooting comet.

  “Nah, I’m going to the bar with you and Ben tomorrow, so I’ll be there then. I had a headache all day at work, so I just wanted to relax tonight.”

  “What about your commercial premier? Why didn’t you tell me? Are we going to watch it?”

  “I…well, I guess if you want to. I have it set to record.”

  “Of course I want to see it! Your mom must be so excited.”

  He sighed. “She’s having a neighborhood block party.” He paused for a moment. “I’m not joking.” I laughed, able to picture the spectacle Brian’s mother made, proud of her son.

  “Alright, let me just go home and change.” I frowned, realizing the guys might be there. “Do you mind if I shower at your place? The band is at my apartment right now.”

  “Yeah, the leader, Rich, called asking me if I wanted to come over. I explained to him that my loyalties lie with you. Apparently, Ryan didn’t tell them that you weren’t together anymore.”

  “He’s an idiot, and thanks.” I was a little sick of Ryan by then.

  “Alright, then get your butt over here.”

  **

  I left the community center, walking towards Brian’s apartment as I called my mom back. She wholly approved of the self-defense class I took and chatted on about this origami bird that she made. After several minutes, I finally cut her off telling her to send me a picture of it with her camera phone. She told me Jordan would have to do it, and I asked why he was home. She didn’t know, she admitted. He showed up at the house last week and wanted to stay a while, which was beyond strange for my brother.

  When I showed up at Brian’s door, my mother was still chatting about how Jordan helped repaint the house a green color. She was going on about the type of brush he used, and how he tricked my father into splattering paint all over his overalls. I already told her five times that I needed to hang up.

  I rolled my eyes, as she continued on now talking about how she had to buy new batteries for the garage door opener. Brian smiled next to me on the couch, knowing how my mother was.

  “Hello, Mrs. Watson,” Brian yelled into the phone.

  “Is that Ryan or Brian?” she asked.

  “Brian,” I replied.

  “Sorry, honey, for mistaking you for that loser that hurt my Anne.” I rolled my eyes at her comment.

  “It’s alright Mrs. W. Can’t wait to see you at my parent’s house,” he spoke into the phone.

  “I bought you some presents. I was shopping and I saw some stuff,” she said.

  “You know you didn’t have to buy me anything. It’ll just be good to see you.” My mother giggled at his comment. He won them over- all ladies alike.

  “Alright, mom. We have to go. Brian’s commercial is showing tonight. We’re going to miss it.”

  “Your mom is going to put it on Youtube, so I can watch. We’re not going to be able to see it here in Ohio,” my mom explained, “We’re so proud of you though, Brian.”

  “Alright, Mom, I love you, talk to you later. Bye.” I hung up before she could speak another word, smiling at Brian.

  “May I ask what you were doing that you’re all sweaty?” His eyes watched me curiously.

  I explained the class I went to and what I did there.

  “Annie,” he chastised. I cringed, realizing my mistake as soon as he said my name.

  “Sorry, sorry. I know my mistake. Didn’t tell you beforehand.”

  He frowned. “Let me guess. It was another spur of the moment decision.”

  I grimaced, nodding. “It actually was.”

  He crossed his arms. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were avoiding me.” His eyes flashed with pain quickly.

  Shoot. I really was awful at this dating game nonsense. Maybe I could tell him an answer that was partially true.

  “I just…” I met his eyes. “I’m afraid you’re going to get sick of me if I keep coming here. I’m trying to find something to do to fill all this new time with.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “And I’m trying to figure everything out in my head. The last week has been a lot emotionally. I’m trying to make sense of it all.”

  I turned, afraid of his answer, and walked into his shower, turning the water on.

  He came in with me, and I was not sure what to do next. Should I invite him in?

  It was an awkward moment before he said, “You know where everything is. I’ll be outside waiting.”

  “Wait!” I called out. He turned, looking at me. “Do you have something that you need to do?” I asked. Brian shook his head. “So, why don’t you sit on the toilet while I shower? You know, tell me about your day and stuff.”

  “You do realize that even though the glass is frosted, I still might see something.”

  I cringed at his words. I was trying to get past my body issues not be reminded of them.

  “You’re not going to stare at me.”

  His eyes glinted. “Maybe a little.”

  I blushed fiercely, even though I knew that I needed to get over my hang ups. But, him sitting there watching me? Awkward.

  I stripped out of my clothes, and tried not to think about the fact that I was naked in front of him. I needed to get over these mental issues. Brian sat down on the covered toilet.

  “I talked to Amanda today,” he said, his eyes on mine. “She told me about the large bouquet y
ou sent.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I asked, stepping into the shower. “I’m waiting for her to call me.”

  “Annie…” He sighed. “She plans on going after Ryan.”

  I paused for a moment, with body soap in hand.

  “She can do whatever she wants. I don’t care. We’re not together anymore.”

  “I told her it would be a bad idea. It would ruin your friendship permanently.”

  “She’s always been attracted to the drama. It doesn’t matter, Brian. I don’t care,” I said, lifting my arms to lather.

  The door opened, a naked Brian standing there. I whirled around, to find him smirking.

  “You look like you needed some help.”

  “Do you walk in on every girl who showers in your apartment?” I asked, feigning annoyance. My heart was racing so fast that I was worried it might leap out of my chest.

  “Generally,” he said, nodding. I laughed, handing him the soap. “Can’t get my hair wet.”

  “Why did you straighten your hair?” he asked, as he poured soap out into the palm of his hand.

  “Why? You don’t like it?” I asked.

  “No, it looks very nice, it’s just…you can’t twirl your finger around your curls anymore when you’re thinking about something intently.”

  I froze for a moment, looking up at him. He met my gaze.

  “Well, it’s not permanent,” I offered. “The curls will come back eventually.”

  “That’s good to hear,” his words came out nearly a whisper in my ear as his hand began running down my arm with the soap. I closed my eyes with my back against the tiled wall at his mercy. The truth was that I just wanted him to touch me. “Pick your arms up,” he said.

  His hands ran down my arms, across my shoulders, gently massaging. I gasped as his fingers ran over my breasts, his thumbs flicking my nipples then cupping them before moving on, his hands exploring down my sides to my hips. I was breathing loudly now, licking my lips, my eyes closed. His one hand rested on my hip, the other moved down until I felt his fingertips brush against my sex. I whimpered loudly and he pulled his hand back.

  “Now how could you think that I’m not attracted to you?” he whispered.

  I lacked the mental capacity to even answer that question, my brain was completely mush. I felt his desire pressing against my outer thigh, and on instinct, I dropped my hand down to touch him.

  “No, put your hand back up,” he murmured in my ear. I did what he commanded. “Good girl,” he whispered as his hand went back down, stroking me. I spread my legs out, giving him better access. My lower half arched into his hand.

  “Open your eyes, love.”

  I looked at him, finding him staring at me. He held my eyes as his finger dipped into my body. I whimpered loudly, my breathing erratic. While his finger was inside me, stroking my core, his thumb massaged my clit.

  My mind was only able to think of one sentence.

  “Please don’t stop.”

  “I don’t plan to,” he said, his voice low and seductive.

  My body began grinding against his hand as his finger touched a place inside me that made my stomach quiver.

  “So, this is what you like,” he murmured, rubbing the spot more intensely.

  It was unnerving to stare at him while he worked my body into a frenzied state, and I wondered if I should feel embarrassed. Normally, when I had sex with Ryan, I closed my eyes or we were in positions where I couldn’t look at him. This felt so…intimate. Wordless emotions ran through me as I stood there, and it was a lot to take in at once. The term ‘being laid bare’ didn’t even cover how I felt. I was vulnerable, and as though somehow it wasn’t only his fingers that I allowed to penetrate me. His eyes held mine, and it felt as though he tried to dip into my head and pull out every little secret that it held.

  I pressed my lips to his and he kissed me back. Whether he could sense that he was pushing me too far outside my comfort zone, or he just wanted more of me like I wanted more of him, I didn’t know. What I did know was when he slipped a second finger into me, I moaned into his mouth with pleasure as he applied more pressure with his thumb. Both his fingers now stroked against the spot, and my stomach clenched tightly. The whole room felt hotter somehow, and I gasped into his mouth as he worked my tongue. My fingertips dug into his shoulder blades as my eyes closed, my head resting against the shower tile. I silently begged for him to continue, and wanted him to stop at the same time.

  “Brian, I’m gonna…” I barely got the words out as he began stroking me faster, harder. At that rate, I wouldn’t last much longer. It ended embarrassingly quickly as I screamed to the heavens with my eyes rolling back inside my head.

  If nothing else that we had done yet officially ended our friendship, I felt pretty sure that had. The strange thing was that I felt pleasantly numb inside. The aching feeling that was with me all day since I walked in on Ryan with his bombshell was gone; that gaping wound where my heart was located didn’t cause me pain. I felt perfectly blissful as though everything was right in the world. Brian finally took his fingers out from within me, still watching me, as he licked his finger. He smirked, placing both hands on either side of my head. I was still unable to catch my breath, my heart feeling as though it was about to pound right out of my chest, as he rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. He changed the angle, kissing my lips chastely.

  I could feel his smile against my face as his nose skimmed my cheek.

  “Well, did you enjoy that?”

  I searched for the right words, but I came up with nothing appropriate.

  So, I settled for, “It was incredible.”

  I was concerned with why the pain was gone, why I felt so whole again, and when it would come back to the way it was before. And as all these thoughts flew around inside my head, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him for dear life.

  After a few moments, I heard him ask, “Are you okay?”

  I didn’t have an answer for him that he’d understand.

  After not answering, he pulled back, looking at me concerned, “Annie, are you alright?”

  “I’m sorry,” I admitted, “That was a bit overwhelming. You’re an incredible man.” I pressed my lips to his cheek before snuggling against the crook of his neck.

  “You’re a beautiful woman, Annie. You’ll see it one way or another,” he said before pulling away. “Finish up in here, and then we have some shows to watch.”

  “Wait,” I said, my hand out to touch him. “What about you?”

  He shook his head. “Not tonight,” he replied before leaving the shower. I stood there stunned, staring at the place he had just been standing. His sudden absence from the bathroom was the loudest sound in the room. As I caught my breath, I stared at the fogged shower glass door. Frowning, I traced with my index finger a heart.

  I finished up and walked outside with a towel wrapped around me. Opening the door, I found Brian relaxing comfortably on his bed.

  “What just happened?” I asked.

  “Well…” He eyed me nervously, “we made out a bit.”