Chaotic (Imperfect Perfection)

by Williams, C. A.

  “Well…yeah, it kind of is. I thought cops were supposed to be serious, focused on the job at hand. Not tattooed up and chasing girls all over campus. Do you really think you can handle that?”

  “I really do,” he replied back seriously. “The job actually runs in my family. My dad’s a Lieutenant and my grandpa retired from the department before he passed away. I’ve always looked up to the both of them and I plan on carrying on the tradition.”

  I was stunned into silence at his admission. He had never talked about his family with me, not once.

  “Yeah, I rebelled a bit when I was younger, getting these,” he pointed to the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm and then moved to his lip, “and a few of these, but I straightened out a bit over the years. As far as the girls and the laid back attitude, well I guess I’m just having fun while I can. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ll love my job, but I’m not going to have time to be chasing girls around then. Might as well get it out of my system now.”

  “I just can’t imagine you being a cop someday.”

  “Well it’s gonna happen, princess.” His arms circled my waist, pulling me to the edge of the countertop. “Sorry, I don’t have any handcuffs yet. I’m sure we could have a lot of fun with those.”

  I burst out into laughter, but it was cut off by Justin’s mouth on mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he deepened the kiss; his tongue feeling like it was trying to touch every inch of my mouth all at once.

  I felt a hardness pressing between my legs and my hips had a mind of their own as they rolled into him. He pulled away all too soon, but not before capturing my bottom lip in between his teeth and tugging at it.

  I sat there, catching my breath like I always did after one of his mind blowing kisses, and he pulled away with a smirk, letting my legs drop loosely back against the countertop. The sound of the back door locking brought me back to reality and I reached for my purse to leave.

  “Aren’t you going to eat something before we leave?” I finally asked, my eyes searching through the almost pitch black darkness for his form. He normally made it his mission to see how much free food he could cram down before we left for the night.

  “I’m really not that hungry,” he whispered huskily into my ear from behind. “For food at least,” he added on before twisting my body around so he was once again standing in front of me.

  I could see that smirk on his face, being so close, as his hand glided up my thigh once again, but this time he didn’t stop at my skirt. His warm hand caused me to break out in his goose bumps as it ran over the lacy material of my underwear. Yeah, I think they were pretty much ruined because of the feelings he was generating.

  “How ‘bout we play a little game?”

  “A game?” I managed to choke out over my racing heart. I really wasn’t in the mood for any of his joking. Really, I was in the mood for something completely different.

  “Yeah,” he replied licking his lips. “A game that I’ve all ready won, because clearly I’m awesome, and my prize is you. What do you think?”

  “Sounds like an excellent idea,” I breathed out as his hand went back into place, only this time I could feel him working them down my legs. His hand came to rest at my hip bone as his other scooped up my underwear and he tucked them into his back pocket like they were his prized trophy before coming back to hover me, making sure not to touch any part of my body.

  He stared down at me, those gray eyes looking like they were trying to soak up every inch of me. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Those kinds of words were rare out of his mouth, at least up until now. Sure, he told me I was sexy all the time and could never keep his hands off of me, but these softer words sounded even better coming from his lips.

  I squirmed underneath him, waiting for what was to come next, but he stayed there just out of reach. I threw the back of my arm over my eyes and let out a groan. “Okay, I’m your prize. Now please have your way with me,” I said, it coming out muffled but I knew he heard every word.

  I felt him shift above me, his hands moving farther down on my legs and then suddenly he was moving them apart. My insides were tingling at what was to come next but I didn’t look down, the anticipation seemed to make it even more exciting.

  I felt his mouth on me the instant it landed. His tongue darted out and I suddenly wished I wasn’t on this countertop, I really felt like I was going to fall off each time I arched into him, but I soon forgot that as he continued licking and sucking.

  My skirt hitched around my hips as I hung on for one of the most exhilarating rides of my life, and I moaned out his name when he inserted a finger. It was then that I became undone, moaning so loud, it was almost embarrassing. I didn’t care though, my mind was completely clear of anything at that moment, besides Justin.

  He kissed a trail back up my leg after I had finally calmed down and I peeked an eye open at him, his expression calm and relaxed as he stared back at me. “That was a really sweet prize. You ready to go again?”

  Chapter 14

  My stomach rolled with a little bit of excitement as Zoey, Callie and I all get ready for the party at Drew’s frat house that we had all planned to go to together. Parties had always been my kind of scene, but since moving here to go to school, I hadn’t been to a single one. I had been doing so well with keeping myself busy, that I hadn’t been trying to fill that empty void that had seemed to be hanging around in my chest for awhile.

  “So, is lover boy coming tonight?” Zoey asked, plopping down on the floor next to me where I was running a flat iron through my hair.

  “Lover boy, really Zoey?” Callie chimed in. “Justin is far from being a lover boy, more like a bad boy to have fun with. Right, Della?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged my shoulders and pulled out my makeup bag. “Lately things have been a little different between the two of us. He hasn’t been joking around as much, I don’t think he would ever really be able to stop, but we’ve been having actual conversations. Things are different.”

  “Different in a good way or what? Because I know Nash is single and hot on your ass right now. Are you stringing two boys along Miss Della?”

  I rolled my eyes at Callie and swiped lip-gloss across my lips, puckering them in the mirror before responding. “Different in a good way. And I’m not stringing them along. At least I don’t think I am.” After Nash had left the other night, he ended up calling me, and we made plans for the next day. It felt like more of a date this time around, than just a friend’s hang out.

  Strangely, Nick and Steve had been absent from the house when I showed up, and it had actually been clean. Nash fixed me dinner and we even sat at their dining room table, aka a card table with a table cloth covering it. It had been decked out in votive candles and a vase of roses that he had given me at the end of the night.

  He was trying, I would give him that, but I was confused on where my relationship with Justin really stood. I felt guilty for being with Nash like that, even though I hadn’t considered it as a date. I knew I had feelings for the both of them, but they were jumbled up in my head right now and I wasn’t sure what I felt for whom.

  “Well, my vote is for Nash. I know we’re still young and all, but Nash is a way better choice. You don’t have to worry about him with other girls-” Zoey jabbed Callie sharply in the side to cut her off and I looked between the two of them, both looking extremely guilty.

  “Ok, what are you two not telling me?” I crossed my arms, giving them both that look. You know the one where your best friends are supposed to tell you everything, no matter what. It was some sort of code or something.

  “It’s not that big of a deal, really,” Zoey said with a loud sigh. “The gossip queen over here heard someone in one of her classes bragging about how they hooked up with Justin. So of course she had to stick her nose into the conversation.”

  “Please, I wasn’t sticking my nose in anything. I was looking out for our girl.” I gave Callie a small smile, even though I jus
t wanted to smack her upside the head because she hadn’t told me sooner. Sure, rumors were rumors, but sometimes there was some truth to them.

  “She said that she and Justin hooked up about a week ago,” she finished quietly. “I argued that Justin was dating you, and why exactly would he need to turn to someone as skanky looking as her. I think she got a little offended, but still stuck to her story. Apparently, it was on one of his nights off from the restaurant and she met up with him at some bar.”

  “Well, that’s…interesting.” What else was I supposed to say? Justin and I had never really said that we were officially a couple, but I thought we had an understanding that we weren’t seeing other people.

  Honestly, I felt a little hurt. No, I wasn’t being honest with myself at all. I felt all kinds of hurt, but I put on my brave face and pushed it out of my head, something I had learned to do over the years and was an expert at.

  “That’s all you have to say? Really?” Zoey smashed her lips into a straight line, narrowing her eyes at me. “Because the Della I know is one tough bitch and wouldn’t put up with that kind of shit. You need to confront him or just drop him. He obviously doesn’t deserve you if it’s true. You know I’m not a fan of Nash, but maybe you should give him a chance.”

  “I’ll talk to him about it, trust me.” I stood up and headed towards my closet, mainly to hide the hurt look on my face. I had texted Justin to see if he was coming tonight but the only answer I got back was a vague “maybe” which was a little strange coming from him. I was all ready so used to his sexting that I sort of expected it every time. “But now, it’s time for us to have fun, so let’s get our asses moving.”

  We walked up the wooden steps of the house that Drew lived in. There were people everywhere, from the wide front lawn to the balconies that jutted out from several of the upstairs windows. The music could be heard from outside and probably at least a mile away.

  ‘Scream and Shout’, blasted my ears as the door swung open, and I followed Callie in who knew her way around. Let it all out was all I really wanted to do right now, although I really wasn’t planning on doing that Britney Spears style. So when Callie handed Zoey and I a shot of something, I took it immediately, throwing my head back and letting the burning liquid wash down my throat. I instantly felt a bit of calmness rush through me, so I quickly took another.

  When I opened my eyes, Zoey and Callie were staring at me with a look of disbelief. “What? Aren’t we here to get a little cray cray?” They both slowly nodded their heads at me before I led the way back out of the kitchen and onto the makeshift dance floor which appeared to be the once living room.

  Callie found Drew in the crowd, so she quickly darted off, leaving Zoey and I to dance by ourselves. Whatever.

  Zoey looked like she was loosening up a little bit, so I grabbed onto her hand, throwing my free one into the air as I moved my hips to the music. Those two shots had quickly gone to my head, and I was feeling good. I noticed a guy come up behind Zoey, quietly asking her to dance, and she gave me a look with her eyes. I nodded, giving her a smile as I stayed surrounded in the sea of people that all seemed to be moving in a frenzied rhythm.

  I felt a pair of hands land on my hips, secretly I was wishing it was Justin, but when I spun around to see Nash standing there, those soft brown eyes staring back at me with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, I tried not to look disappointed.

  “Hey,” I shouted into his ear, and he wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me closer. “Dance with me? Please?” He asked in that gravelly voice of his. I nodded in response, and we danced wrapped closely, and at a slow pace, for what felt like a lifetime. Being wrapped in his arms was comforting, but it wasn’t really what I needed right now.

  “I need another drink, I’ll meet up with you in a bit.” He reluctantly let go of me, dropping his hands to the side, and motioned towards an empty couch as I headed back towards the kitchen. I smiled at Zoey who was now with another guy and looked to be having fun, not ready to leave anytime soon. Which was a good thing because neither was I.

  I grabbed two shots from a flirty looking guy, downing them and handing him back the empty glasses back with a smile, before I turned back and joined Nash on the couch. Before I could sit down he grabbed my hand. “Let’s take this somewhere a little quieter. I can’t even hear myself think out here.” I rolled my eyes as he led me down a hallway and pushed open a door, checking to see if it was empty first before pulling me in and locking the door behind us.

  “Did you drag me in here to have your way with me?” I managed to slur out before plopping down on the unmade bed that was covered in clothes. Most of the time, I would be totally against something like that, but right then, I didn’t care.

  “Exactly how much have you had to drink?” Nash asked, crouching down in front of me with a smirk.

  “Who knows?” I murmured before running my fingers up his arm, touching the tattoo on his forearm. “What does this mean exactly?” I leaned forward to trace the black ink and I could hear his breath hitch at our close proximity. “Nothing lame I hope, I don’t think Chinese symbols are the in thing anymore.”

  He snorted, pointing to his forearm. “Well, I did get it a few years ago. Sorry if I’m not up to date with the trends and all that shit. And I’m not sure if you’re really ready to hear what it means.”

  I stared at the tribal looking sun etched into his forearm, the Chinese symbols in the center, hoping they would form some kind of conclusion in my head. But that was not going to happen. It was actually spinning a little right now.

  “I think I can handle it.”

  He sighed loudly and moved my finger with his hand. “All right, well this is obviously a sun. And these right here,” my finger traced the symbols lightly, “translate over to Adelaide.”

  “Seriously?” I whispered as I stared at my finger, his touch on mine so delicate as he explained something that obviously had a lot meaning to him. Most tattoos did. They were permanent after all.

  “Seriously,” he replied, his crooked smile in place as he laced our fingers together. “I got it as soon as I turned eighteen. I told you that you were like my sun when you came to visit during the summer. Every minute with you was an escape from my dad, so I think you deserved some recognition. I thought this was the best way.”

  Wow, I couldn’t believe someone had a tattoo of my name on their arm. Even if that someone was Nash. “You really give me too much credit,” I said, hiccupping as I sank down to the floor with him. “I’m really not that great of a person. If you really knew who I was, you would probably be getting that removed right now.”

  “Della.” His hand grasped my chin, forcing me to look him straight in the eyes, “People make mistakes sometimes, no one’s perfect. But to me you are. No matter what.”

  I groaned and buried my head in my hands. “Why does everything have to be so serious with you, Nash?”

  “What? Like that boyfriend of yours or whatever the hell he is?” He snapped out, standing up abruptly. “Sorry that I have some sort of feelings Della. Would you rather me be an ass all the time? He doesn’t deserve you.”

  “And you do?” I snapped back. “Just because you broke up with your girlfriend, doesn’t instantly give you the rights to me, like I’m a piece of property that you can just snatch up. I know we’ve been friends for awhile, Nash, but maybe we’re better off just being that. Friends.” I stood up too quickly, the alcohol rushing towards my head. Sure I didn’t know where my relationship even stood with Justin. Maybe I just needed to stop dating all together so I wasn’t so confused all the time.

  “Maybe we just aren’t meant to be right now,” I said a little more calmly as I gripped the handle that was holding me upright. I hated to see that hurt look on his face, but I just couldn’t deal with him right now.

  “You’re right, Della. I think we both have some growing up to do before that happens,” he answered back quietly. “I promise, I’ll keep things strictly as friends from
now on.” I rolled my eyes, not believing him for a second, but I guess I could give him a chance.

  We walked back out to the party, and I instantly spotted Justin on the edge of the crowd. His eyes landed on me, and he gave me a tight smile, but it quickly disappeared when he saw Nash behind me. “I’ll catch up with you later,” I yelled to Nash as he took off in the opposite direction, but not before giving me a scowl. Just friends, yeah right Nash. I don’t think that existed in your book, with me at least.

  Justin pulled me into his arms, kissing my forehead, as he wrapped me up tightly and gently rocked me back and forth to the music. His body felt oddly stiff against mine, and I looked up at him, his gray eyes staring down at me with a look I just couldn’t read.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as I took a step back.

  He pinched his lips together, and I could see his jaw tic as he stared back at me before he finally answered. “Nothing. You wanna get out of here?”

  “Um, sure,” I replied, surprised that he didn’t want to stay. Parties were normally his thing, and while I hadn’t been to one with him yet, I had kind of been looking forward to tonight if he had decided to show up. “Let me just find Callie and Zoey, I’ll be ready to go in a minute.”

  “I’ll meet you outside.”

  I found Callie who looked like she had even more than me to drink so far, she was a serious lightweight, and Drew was basically holding her up. I told him to pass along the message that I was leaving since she probably wouldn’t remember. Zoey was still dancing away, with a different guy again. “Hey, do you mind if I leave? Justin showed up, and I was going to take off with him.”

  “Sure,” she panted out, her eyes glittering with an excitement that was normally absent. “I’ll catch a ride home with someone.”

  “Awesome, text me if you need me.”

  I found Justin outside, one leg propped up against the house, his head tilted towards the dark sky as he puffed away on a cigarette. I wrinkled my nose at the smell, but grabbed onto his hand. “I’m ready to go whenever you are.”