As Young As We Feel

by Melody Carlson

  "Go ahead and look around," Barb told Marley and Abby. "Not much has been fixed up since Mom went into nursing care, but her personal things are gone. You can have the furniture if you want. I doubt that you will. It's in pretty bad shape."

  Marley stood on the road and stared at the house. It was tiny and it was old. The trim and shutters needed painting. But she loved it. She absolutely loved it.

  "How's the roof?" Abby was asking.

  "I have no idea," Barb called back. "But it wasn't leaking when Mom was there."

  "And the plumbing?"

  "Try it out if you want."

  "Come on," Marley urged Abby. "Let's look first and ask questions later."

  "It's definitely musty in here," Abby turned her nose up.

  "Of course it's musty," Marley said defensively. "It's old. It's been shut up. What do you expect?"

  "I was just saying."

  Marley walked around the small space, imagining where she would put her things, what colors she would paint the walls, and then she pulled open the tattered drapes to see the ocean. "Oh-mi-gosh!" Her hand covered her mouth as she stared out the grimy windows. "I want this house."

  "Marley," Abby said in alarm. "You haven't even looked at the bathroom yet. Or tried the-"

  "I don't care. I want this house."

  "Not until we check it out more closely," Abby told her. "Come on." Marley felt herself being tugged away from the view, and the next thing she knew, she was staring into a toilet that looked like it hadn't been scrubbed in decades. "Let's make sure it works," Abby said. She pushed the handle and, although it was slow, it did flush.

  "It really smells in here," Abby observed. "And this sink! Well, it's ancient."

  "I like it." Marley tried the tap and it worked.

  "How about this ugly tile?" Abby picked up a broken yellow tile that must've fallen off the wall.

  "Tile can be replaced."

  "But this shower can't be." Abby gave a tug on a piece of the flimsy plastic wall, which was falling apart.

  "Sure it can." Marley noticed the bathroom was large relative to the size of the house. "But I could fit a claw-foot tub there if I took out the shower."

  Abby nodded, almost as if she was seeing it too. "You could rig it with a European shower, too, and a nice curtain."

  "Yes!" Marley said eagerly.

  "Let's go look at the kitchen," Abby suggested. "You were so fixated on the view, you didn't even see it. I have to admit the cabinets could be kind of cute with some fresh paint and hardware."

  Marley grabbed Abby's hand. "See! You're getting it!"

  Soon they were in the kitchen, and Marley was imagining the small space painted in bright tropical colors and decked out with new tile-maybe even something handmade. "It could be so cheerful, Abby," she said as Abby tried the kitchen tap and then the lights.

  "Everything seems to work," Abby admitted. "Maybe it just needs a face lift."

  Marley patted the old-fashioned white ceramic sink. "This old girl is kind of like me, Abby; she needs some TLC and someone to believe in her."

  "I know it's useless to try to talk you out of this, Marley." Abby opened a door that revealed a small pantry. "But can you at least have Paul come over to give it a look? Just in case there's something you've overlooked."

  "But I want this house!" Marley felt ready to stomp her feet and shout. "I want it, Abby!"

  Abby laughed. "Yes, I understand."

  "And I don't want Paul to say or do anything to mess this up."

  "He won't, Marley. He'll just give you the facts."

  "Maybe I don't care about the facts." Marley planted herself in front of the window again and stared hypnotically at the sand and waves.

  Abby put an arm around Marley's shoulders. "Listen, Marley, there's probably no reason you won't get this house. But what if you could get it for less money?"

  Marley considered this. "Less money?"

  "Yes." Abby nodded. "If Paul finds things that aren't working, you might be able to bid low to compensate for repairs you'll need to make. That's how real estate works. Have you ever purchased a house before?"

  "Not really. We only bought one house, and that was when Ashton was still in diapers, so John kind of handled it."

  "Well, Mom told me the price of this cabin, and we both think it's a little high, which might be why it's still on the market. Plus not being listed with a realtor is sometimes a flag that something could be wrong."

  "Like what?"

  "Oh, I don't know. It might just be overpriced, or there might be a lien on it, or something could be in serious disrepair."

  "How do you know all this?"

  "I almost got my real-estate license when the girls were in school. I studied and was ready to take my exam, but we decided it was more important for me to be home." She smiled sadly. "But I still know a thing or two."

  "Do you know what Barb is asking?" Marley wasn't sure she wanted to know, especially after hearing that it was priced too high.

  "Mom said she wants close to three hundred thousand."

  Marley knew that figure would wipe out all of her savings. "Oh."

  "Is that outside of your budget?"

  "I wouldn't have anything left to live on."

  "So you wanted to pay cash? No financing?"

  "I don't have a job, Abby. How do I get financing?"

  "Do you get alimony?"

  "Just enough to cover my living expenses. If I have a house payment as well, and no job." Marley shrugged. "It might be dicey."

  "Right." Abby frowned. "On top of that, you'd still have the expense of fixing the house. Who knows what that might cost?"

  Marley's hope was plummeting. What had made her think she could do something like this? Perhaps Lois was right. She should just settle for one of the old mobile homes not far from here. She could still walk to the beach. And she wouldn't be starving or forced to take a job she didn't like. "I guess I'm just dreaming," she admitted to Abby. "I thought I could swing this, but in reality, probably not."

  "Oh, don't give up." Abby looked worried. "I wasn't trying to rain on your parade. I was just trying to be realistic."

  "That's what I'm being. Realistic. It is not realistic to carry a loan and empty all my savings on a house that obviously needs some work, probably more work than I know. It's crazy."

  "But what if the house is overpriced? And what if Barb is more desperate than we think? And what if you didn't have to empty out your savings?"

  Marley considered this. What if?

  "What if this really is the best house for you? And what if you let it go?"

  Marley made up her mind. "I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to make Barb an offer. A cash offer that will leave me with enough money to pay for the fix-ups and a little nest egg as well. Really, what do I have to lose?"

  "Let's take it a step further," Abby said. "Let's make the offer contingent on an inspection. You can have Paul come out or hire a real inspector, but before you hand over your savings, you must have this place inspected. Okay?"

  "Okay. So what do I do, Abby? Just go out there and tell her what I can pay, tell her to take it or leave it?"

  "I have an idea. How about if I represent you?"

  "Like a real-estate agent?"

  "One who won't ask for a commission."

  "It's a deal." Marley stuck out her hand and they shook.

  "So what do you want to offer?"

  Marley thought hard. The truth was she was willing to offer her entire savings, and yet she knew that wasn't terribly smart.

  "Don't forget that Barb might counter your offer." Abby was digging something out of her purse.

  "Counter, meaning she'll want more. Right?"

  "Right." Abby withdrew a small notebook and pen. "Here, you write down whatever figure you think is best. And give yourself some room to raise your offer in case she counters."

  "Kind of like an auction?"

  Abby nodded. "Kind of."

 
So Marley wrote down a figure that she was absolutely comfortable with. Of course, she didn't expect Barb to accept it. But at least this would start what felt a bit like a game. "Here." She handed the notebook back.

  "Okay. You stay here and dream about what you'll do with this place, and I'll start this ball rolling."

  Marley was surprised at how nervous she felt, as if she were about to hyperventilate. First she paced, and then she went to look out the window again. After a minute or two of gazing at the ocean, she began to relax. She could actually feel her heart rate slowing, and her breathing became even. The ocean really was good medicine.

  Abby came back in the house with a strange expression on her face. "You're not going to believe this."

  "What?" demanded Marley. "Did she laugh in your face?"

  "She accepted your offer."

  "Seriously?" Marley felt like hopping up and down.

  "But before you start doing the Snoopy dance, let me explain."

  "Explain?"

  "Barb said she'll accept your offer, but if you come back after getting the house inspected and ask to reduce the price any more, the deal is off."

  "That's okay." Marley hugged Abby. "Thank you so much!"

  "Want me to go tell Barb the good news?"

  "Absolutely!"

  After Abby left, Marley really did do the happy dance. There wasn't a lot of room to dance, but she did the best she could. This beach house would soon be hers!

  Chapter 26

  CAROLINE

  "It's so good to see you," Caroline said as her old friend Claudia handed her a glass of iced tea. "I'm glad you talked me into stopping for the night."

  "I can't believe you considered driving right past us." Claudia frowned. "Especially when we're halfway between LA and Clifden. It's been way too long."

  "I really appreciate your hospitality," Caroline said. "And your house is gorgeous." During their twenties Claudia and Caroline had shared a tiny apartment. Both had big-screen dreams and restaurant jobs, but then Claudia met Dale and ditched her dreams in exchange for comfort. At the time, Caroline thought she'd settled, but now she wasn't so sure.

  "When Dale heard you were coming, well, he did something." Claudia had a mysterious expression.

  Caroline felt confused. "He did something? What did he do? Throw a fit?" But that seemed ridiculous. She'd always gotten along well with Dale.

  "No, nothing like that. He invited Mitch for dinner."

  "Mitch?" Caroline tried not to look as shocked as the felt. "Mitch Arenson?"

  "Is there another Mitch?"

  "Why is Dale in contact with Mitch?" Caroline felt slightly unsteady, as if the earth had shifted ever so slightly.

  "Mitch works for Dale."

  Caroline was still trying to wrap her mind around this. Mitch was coming to dinner? Mitch worked for Dale?

  "Remember? They were both computer geeks. About fifteen years ago they bumped into each other at an electronics show. Dale hired him, and he's been around ever since."

  "Oh."

  "Okay, I can tell you're shocked. I told Dale this was not a good idea."

  "But I thought Mitch got married. Is his wife coming to dinner too?" Caroline took a long sip of tea.

  "They divorced several years ago."

  "Oh."

  "So do you want me to call Dale and tell him it's a no-go?"

  Caroline thought about this. "No. Actually it might be interesting to see Mitch. And therapeutic."

  "If you're sure." Claudia frowned. "I know how he hurt you."

  Caroline nodded.

  "But Dale doesn't know the whole story."

  "Thanks. I appreciate that." Caroline stood and stretched. "After all that iced tea, I need to visit the ladies' room." She felt unsteady as she walked through Claudia's spacious house, as if she needed to hold on to things to avoid tipping over. She used the bathroom in the suite Claudia had shown her earlier. She stood in front of the mirror, slowly breathing deeply, telling herself to relax and let go. Relax and let go. Mitch was part of her history, but that's all it was. History.

  Okay, it was more than that. Mitch had been the love of her life. She had desperately wanted him to propose to her. She wasn't even all that concerned when she became pregnant with his child. Certainly she was young. They both were. But even in her early twenties, she felt ready to be a mom and wife. She was willing to let go of her Hollywood dreams in exchange for Mitch. She imagined them with the little house and the white picket fence and a couple of kids and a dog. The possibilities had seemed idyllic.

  But Mitch had burst her bubble by insisting he wasn't ready for any of that. Not marriage, not kids, and absolutely no white picket fence. He had been so adamant about it that she worried she was going to lose him, and she couldn't bear that. They'd been so happy together-everything was so perfect. Or so it had seemed.

  To keep Mitch, Caroline had agreed to get an abortion. Then, just a few months after the abortion, Mitch moved on. He told her that he wasn't in love with her anymore, like love was a switch he could turn off and on at will. She heard later that he'd married. And then she'd worked to forget him.

  Caroline looked at the clock hanging above the towel rack. Nearly four. If she left now, she could make it to Clifden by-she counted the hours on her fingers-around two in the morning. Where would she stay? Abby wasn't expecting her until tomorrow. No, maybe she should just stay put and go through with this and hope she felt better afterward.

  "You're not upset, are you?" Claudia asked when Caroline rejoined her in the kitchen. "We don't have to-"

  "No." Caroline said firmly. "I want to do this. It might be good for me."

  "If it's any comfort, Mitch has changed. A lot. I like him much more than I used to. A little maturity and a few hard knocks have been good for him."

  "What kind of hard knocks?" Caroline didn't like to rejoice over other people's sufferings, but in Mitch's case ... well, she was only human.

  "He and his wife, Teresa, lost their only child, a daughter, to leukemia several years ago. In fact Dale thinks that's what messed up their marriage."

  "That's too bad. How old was the girl?"

  "Just eleven."

  Caroline felt guilty for her ill wishes toward Mitch.

  "Mitch did everything he could to salvage their marriage, but Teresa got involved with another guy."

  "Wow, that's hard too. Poor Mitch." Now Caroline felt really guilty.

  "Anyway, you'll see. He is different. And Dale said Mitch was actually looking forward to seeing you again."

  "So no pressure, right?" Caroline laughed nervously.

  "Right. No pressure." Claudia returned to peeling cucumbers.

  "Need some help?" Caroline offered.

  Claudia paused to look at her. "You look tired to me, Caroline. I know you've been working hard to get your house listed and your stuff packed, and it was a long drive here. Plus you have a full day of travel tomorrow. Why don't you just go take a rest? It's a couple hours until dinner. Just relax."

  "Really?"

  "Absolutely. Everything's under control."

  So Caroline returned to her suite. After a nice long shower, she did relax, and it did feel good. Almost good enough to get Mitch off of her mind. But not quite. She remembered his dark wavy hair and chocolate brown eyes, his straight Roman nose and full lips. He had the kind of face that she could look at forever. Of course, that was almost thirty years ago. There was no telling how he looked now. After so much hard stuff in his life, he could be bald or paunchy or old. Yet if his spirit was still there, and if he had changed in good ways like Claudia had suggested, Caroline might enjoy getting reacquainted even if he was bald, paunchy, and old.

  She slept for about an hour, then got up, did her hair and makeup, and spent about twenty minutes trying to decide what to wear. As ridiculous as it seemed, she felt as if she were in high school again, getting ready for a big night. Finally she settled on an aquablue sundress and her favorite turquoise-blue sandals. Not too casual a
nd not too overdone. Comfortable yet classic.

  "Need any help in here?" Caroline found Claudia still in the kitchen, although she must not have been there the whole time, since she too had changed her clothes. She wore orange capri pants and a bright floral top that matched.

  "Not really," Claudia told her. "The salad is made, the halibut is ready to go on the grill." She removed a bottle of sauvignon blanc from the fridge. "Let's take this out to the deck and relax a bit until our male guests arrive."

  Caroline knew she could use some more time to relax and didn't argue as she followed her host outside. The view from their house was lovely. The home was not next to the ocean like Abby's, but on a hill where the ocean could be seen in the distance.

  They spent this time catching up. Claudia spoke of her four kids, all of whom sounded like they were perfect. Or perhaps it was simply Claudia's happy spin.

  "Our baby, Jordanne, won't graduate until next spring. Then they'll all be on their own, and with the money we'll save from not paying tuition, we plan to do some traveling."

  "That sounds nice."

  "Yes. Before we get too old to enjoy it."

  They chatted on, and Caroline felt more at ease. By the time Dale and Mitch arrived, she told herself that the four of them were simply old friends getting together. No history. No future. Just a one-time event.

  "Caroline," Mitch actually reached out and took both her hands, helping her to her feet before he embraced her in a warm hug. "You have no idea how good it is to see you!"

  She nodded and smiled as she stepped back. He was definitely older, but not in a terrible way. His hairline had lifted quite a bit, but for the most part his locks were still dark and wavy, with some silver running through it. His eyes, while still chocolate, looked sadder than she remembered. And time, combined with sun, had etched some wrinkles into his face. But, all in all, for a man his age, he looked quite good.

  "You're looking well," she told him.

  "And you look as if you've barely aged at all."

  "Of course you knew that's what I wanted to hear."

  "It's true!"

  Dale greeted Caroline, welcoming her to his home. "It's like old times, isn't it?" he said. "Except we're older." Then he excused himself to see if Claudia needed anything.