Holidays Are Hell

by Kim Harrison

  “Gay?” Nick’s eyes widened in alarm.

  “Yes. He thinks that’s why you haven’t asked Jill out,” she murmured quietly, and then added, “If you are you should just tell her so. She’d still be friends with you, but you shouldn’t string her along like this.”

  Nick was frowning now and looking a bit put out. Jill waited, wondering if he’d tell her to go to hell, or actually respond at all, but then he heaved out an exasperated sigh and said, “I’m not gay.”

  She felt every muscle in her body relax at this news. Jill had told herself she didn’t believe he was, but the possibility had bothered her ever since Kyle had brought it up. His answer eliminated the problem, however. Now she just had to find out why—if he was interested in her—he hadn’t asked her out. The easiest way was to ask, so she did. “Then why haven’t you asked her out?”

  Nick pursed his lips and then said, “Because I haven’t been free to do so.”

  Jill blinked at this simple explanation. Not free? Like how? God! He wasn’t married, was he? Oh dear God, if she’d gone and fallen for a married guy—

  “I was in the middle of a divorce when I opened the store next to Jill’s. I’ve been waiting for the divorce to go through before asking her out. Besides, I didn’t want a rebound relationship. The first year after separating from my wife, I dated around a lot, but then I realized I was picking women who were all just like my ex-wife. I decided it would be best to take a year off from dating, give myself that time to deal with all the issues from my marriage, decide what I really wanted in a partner and then consider dating again. The next time I marry I want it to really be ‘until death do us part.’”

  “I suppose there were lots of women you were interested in during that time,” she murmured.

  “Yes,” he admitted. “There are a lot of attractive women in the world.”

  “Yes,” she agreed with a frown.

  “But none of them were as interesting to me as Jill is.”

  She stiffened, her ears suddenly pricking.

  Nick grimaced and shook his head before continuing. “I was halfway through that promised year when I opened the shop here and met Jill. Suddenly, keeping to that year was hard. I actually like Jill. It isn’t just sexual interest with her. She’s normal and sane and funny and smart and sexy…everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman.”

  Jill sucked in a breath at this news, her heart suddenly bursting with hope.

  “Actually, I think this year business turned out to be a good thing for us,” he said quietly. “It forced me to be a friend to her first and through that I’ve found we get along great. We work well together as a team. We like many of the same things…” He shrugged. “I didn’t even know that much about my wife when I married her. And while I was sure two years ago that I would never marry again, I think I’d be willing to risk it with Jill…if she was interested.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she’d be interested,” Jill assured him with a grin. She felt like her heart was bursting. He liked her! And he thought she was funny, smart, and sexy.

  “I guess we’ll see when I ask her out.”

  “When will that be?” Jill asked with excitement. “I mean, when is the year up?”

  “Both the year and the divorce were final yesterday. I signed the final decree last night,” Nick admitted and then gave a dry laugh. “And actually, I had it all planned to ask her out today.”

  Jill had to grab onto Santa’s chair to keep from jumping up and down with glee and squealing.

  Nick continued. “I was going to invite her to my sister’s Christmas party after the parade. That way there’d be no nervous, first-date jitters, just a relaxed invitation to join me at my sister’s. I even invited the others in the parade along too so she wouldn’t feel pressured.”

  “Oh,” Jill breathed, thinking he was the most thoughtful man in the world. If he’d asked her out on an actual date the first time, she would have been over the moon, until the first-date jitters set in. Then she would have spent whatever time there was between his asking and the actual date fretting over what to wear, what to say, desperate to have everything perfect.

  God, what a clever man he was. His way was so much more relaxed. If he invited her with a bunch of people, she would have been relaxed thinking it was just a group thing and—

  Damn! Jill’s happiness turned to dismay as she realized that John and his craziness had completely screwed up everything. There wouldn’t be any relaxed first date because she wasn’t here. Her first date, and probably, finally their first kiss too. Jill had been fantasizing about that first kiss for so long, she doubted the real thing could live up to it. She would have liked to find out though. Dammit! Why had John chosen today of all days to act like a crazy prick and zap her? If not for him she’d be herself up here and she so wanted to be herself right then.

  “Say, why is that guy coming out of Jill’s store?”

  Jill let go of her thoughts and glanced around with confusion. Nick was peering to the left of the float and she followed his gaze, noting that they’d reached their street of stores. The parade was almost over. At the end of this road, they would pull into the parking lot and disband. Her gaze slid along the storefronts until she found her own and she stiffened as she spotted the man now turning away from the door of her store. John Heathcliffe. His gaze slid over the people on the street and then across the floats passing by until it landed on her, where it froze, eyes widening with incredulous recognition.

  No, he couldn’t recognize her, Jill thought with dismay. She didn’t look anything like herself.

  “He seems to know you. Who—” Nick’s words died as he turned curiously toward her and suddenly froze. “Jesus,” he breathed, his wide eyes eating her alive. “Jill? Where did you come from?”

  “What?” She peered at him with confusion and then realized he’d called her Jill. Glancing down, she jerked the cape closed with a squeak of alarm as she saw that she’d changed back to herself and now stood on the float with nothing but the cape covering her. She was herself and naked. How? She wondered frantically and then realized that she’d been standing there wishing she was herself. Her body had obviously listened.

  And, of course, John had recognized her. That thought forced any concern for her nudity from her mind and she jerked her eyes back to the bane of her existence. Jill wasn’t at all surprised to see that John Heathcliffe was now pushing his way through the crowds, fighting to get to the float.

  “Jill? What’s going on? Where did Noelle go?” Nick was obviously struggling with confusion, but she didn’t have the time to explain.

  “I have to go,” she muttered, and tried to turn away, but he caught her arm.

  “Wait a minute,” he said. “How—?”

  “I can’t explain right now, Nick. Please let me go, he’s coming. He’ll get me,” she cried, panic choking her throat as she saw John break out of the crowd and stumble onto the street next to the float behind their own. As slow as the parade was moving, it wouldn’t take him long to reach their float and be on her.

  “But the parade,” Nick said.

  “It’s done, we’re nearing the end of the street now,” she pointed out, tugging at her arm. “Please.”

  Nick glanced around and saw that they were indeed nearing the parking lot where they would disband. They had two more stores to pass. Frowning, he glanced back to her frantic face, then toward John, who was now running behind the float, reaching for the edge to boost himself up.

  Mouth tightening, Nick began to urge her toward the front of the float. “Okay, let’s go.”

  “What?” Jill glanced at him with surprise as he hurried her to the opposite end of the float from where John was trying to board. “You’re coming with me?”

  “Like you said, the parade is over,” he pointed out with a shrug. “And I don’t know what’s going on…but I want to.”

  “Oh,” Jill breathed unhappily, not at all sure she could explain everything to the man. She’d have to explain abou
t her brother and his wife, and the molecular destabilizer and that wasn’t her secret to share. Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to. He said he liked her because she was normal and sane, and she had been until that morning. Now she was anything but normal. Once he found that out, would Nick lose interest in her?

  “Hey! What do you think you’re doing, buddy?!”

  Jill glanced back over her shoulder at that shout from Jay to see him and the other two adult elves converging on the spot where John now hung off the float. His upper body was on it and he was struggling to pull his legs onboard, a struggle made more difficult as the three little men began kicking and hitting him while the children playing elves pelted him with candy canes from a safe distance.

  “Jump.”

  Jill jerked her gaze back around just as Nick leapt from the float, pulling her with him. Biting back the scream that leapt up her throat, Jill concentrated on trying to land on her feet, but she was off balance and landed wrong. Her ankle twisted out from under her and she fell.

  “Are you all right?” Nick asked with concern, kneeling at her side.

  Jill nodded, then glanced down and blushed self-consciously as Nick suddenly tugged her cape down to cover her upper thighs.

  “You really have to explain this to me,” he muttered, lifting her to her feet.

  Jill didn’t comment, concentrating on holding the edges of the cape together as he set her upright.

  “Come on.” Nick tugged her quickly through the crowd. It took her a minute to realize he was leading her back to his store, then they were there and he was retrieving keys from his pocket and unlocking the door.

  Jill shifted from foot to foot and glanced anxiously back toward the float, cursing when she saw that John was now standing on it surrounded by angry elves. He was ignoring them, however, his attention fixed on her.

  “Inside.” Nick caught her arm and tugged her inside the dark shop.

  “He saw us,” Jill said anxiously, moving to peer out the window toward the float as Nick locked the door again.

  “I know. He’s probably headed here then,” Nick said grimly and caught her arm to urge her away from the window. “We won’t have much time.”

  “Time for what?” Jill asked with despair. It seemed to her they didn’t have any time at all. She should be headed out the back door that very minute and without Nick. He wasn’t the one John wanted and should be safe so long as she wasn’t with him.

  “I’m calling the police.”

  Startled out of her thoughts, Jill glanced around wildly and realized that Nick had drawn her to the store’s back room and released her to move around the desk and pick up his phone. Lunging forward, she pressed down on the phone receiver, hanging up on him even as he started to punch in the number.

  “What are you doing?” he asked with surprise.

  “No police,” she said, her voice panicky.

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Jill.” He pushed her hand out of the way. “This guy is obviously bothering you or something. The police—” His words died and he lifted a disbelieving expression to her as she suddenly ripped the cord out of the phone.

  “I’m sorry,” she said at once. “But I can’t let you call the police. I can’t explain, but this doesn’t affect just me, but my family.” She glanced down at the cord still in her hand and dropped it with a sigh. “I’ll replace that, I promise.”

  “Where are you going?” Nick hurried around the desk after her when she opened the door between the back room and the shop.

  “I’m going to wait until he’s looking in the front door and then slip out the back door. He’ll leave you alone then and come after me. You’ll be safe.”

  “Are you crazy?” Nick pulled her away from the door and into the middle of the back room, real anger on his face now. “You must be if you think I’m going to let you draw him off so I’m safe while you try to handle this on your own.”

  “He doesn’t want you,” Jill pointed out on a sigh. “This is—”

  They both fell silent and turned to glance to the front of the store as they heard someone try the door. As they watched, John released the knob and used his hands to frame his face against the window, trying to see inside.

  “He can’t see us,” Nick murmured. “It’s dark back here.”

  Jill bit her lip, watching John with the same fascination she’d watched a snake about to strike. She then became aware that Nick had moved away from her.

  “What are you doing?” she asked in a whisper as he moved back to the door between the front and back of the shop, then her attention shifted back to the front door as John began to tug at it again as if he could force it open by sheer will. Nick paused too, she noted, but her attention was on watching John try to open the door. Then the scientist suddenly stopped and moved away on the sidewalk, trying to look nonchalant. They understood why when a police officer appeared in front of the store and approached him.

  Jill supposed the officer had spotted him working at the door and briefly hoped that he’d arrest him or something, which would leave her and Nick safe and free, but the officer merely spoke to him for several minutes, then turned and continued along the sidewalk. Jill supposed there wasn’t really anything he could arrest him for. Trying a door wasn’t an offense.

  “The cop must be keeping an eye on him,” Nick murmured when several moments passed after the policeman moved out of sight, and John didn’t return to his efforts with the door. He was merely leaning against the telephone pole out front, his gaze fixed on Nick’s storefront. “It looks like he’s decided to wait out front for us to try to leave.”

  “Until he remembers there are back entrances and tries that,” Jill said unhappily.

  “You’re right,” Nick muttered and suddenly pushed the door between the back of the store and the front closed. “We’d better be quick.”

  Hurrying to her side, he caught her arm and urged her toward the back door. “We’ll slip out through the alley and—” He paused and turned to frown when Jill didn’t budge, but held her ground. “We have to move quickly, Jill.”

  “Not like this. Santa and Mrs. Claus are too conspicuous. He’d spot us a block away like this,” she pointed out.

  Nick peered from her red cape to the padded Santa costume he wore and sighed. “You’re right.”

  Jill was about to point out, as patiently and gently as she could, that it was safer for her to go alone, when he suddenly brightened, “I keep a change of clothes here in case of spills or such. They’re in my office. You can wear those.”

  “What about you?” she asked with a frown.

  “Unlike you, I have jeans and a t-shirt on under here,” he said dryly. “I’ll just strip off the costume and beard.”

  “Oh.” She was silent for a minute, then nodded. “Yes. Go find the clothes.”

  The moment he disappeared into his office, Jill headed for the back door. Despite what she’d said, she had every intention of slipping away. She’d be doing them both a favor. The man had said one of the things he liked about her was that she was normal and sane. If that was so, he’d hardly be interested in her once he knew the truth of what she’d become. There was nothing normal or sane about being a shape-shifter.

  No, it was better this way, she decided unhappily. She’d get out of his life before she forced him to break her heart by rejecting her.

  Jill’s hand was on the door knob to the back door when she spotted the calendar on the wall next to it. Pausing, she stared. It was open to December and showed a couple walking down the city street in warm winter gear. Jill glanced from the picture down to herself and back. She’d be less noticeable in the calendar woman’s face and outfit than as herself. And as much as she wanted to spare herself the humiliation of explaining everything to Nick—if she even could—she didn’t wish to do so at the expense of getting caught and caged up for the rest of her life by a madman.

  Shifting to look like the calendar girl seemed her safest route, and it would only take seconds, Jill assu
red herself. She’d be changed and gone before Nick got back.

  Decision made, she released the door knob and concentrated on the picture, imagining herself looking like that woman. Wanting it. Needing it.

  “Jesus.”

  Jill blinked and glanced toward the door to Nick’s office, a small gasp slipping from her lips as she spotted him standing frozen in the doorway. He was beardless and in only his street clothes, the clothes he’d sought for her a bundle clutched to his chest, but it was the shock on his face that concerned her.

  She glanced down at herself, not surprised to see that she had changed successfully to the calendar girl. Her only wonder was whether he’d been there long enough to see her change or if his shock was at finding a stranger in the room.

  “Jill?” he said with disbelief. “How did you do that?”

  Well, that answered her question she supposed, her shoulders sagging. He’d seen her change. Now he knew how un-normal and unsane she was.

  It was all so unfair, she thought miserably. Up until this morning her life and everything about her had been boringly sane and normal…well, except for her brother and Claire and Beth. Now, because of one idiot mad scientist, everything was topsy turvy and any hope of romance with the one guy she’d really liked in a long time was screwed.

  “You changed from yourself to this in like a heartbeat.” Nick tossed the clothes he’d collected onto the nearest box and began to walk around her, surveying her from every angle. “The only thing that didn’t change is the cape.”

  Reminded of the cape and knowing she couldn’t wear it out of the store for fear of tipping off John to who she was, Jill slid it off and draped it over the clothes on the box.

  “Noelle was wearing that cape,” he said suddenly.

  Jill stiffened and watched unhappily as he put things together in his head.

  “Then you were wearing it,” he went on slowly. “Then you turned into someone else wearing the cape.”