Gnarly

by Mickie B. Ashling

  The end of the meal couldn’t come soon enough; he refused dessert and declined coffee as well. Javi wasn’t faring much better. His voice had grown husky, and each time they locked eyes, Javi was the first to turn away.

  The slow walk back to the apartment helped to cool them off. Marginally. The elevator ride seemed interminable. The moment they crossed the threshold and the door shut, Javi dropped his crutches, and Ed swept him into his arms and carried him to the bedroom.

  “Do you need help undressing?” Ed asked, slowly putting Javi down on the bed.

  “I’ve got two good arms, cariño,” Javi replied.

  “I didn’t mean to suggest—”

  “Stop treating me like I’m broken,” Javi growled. He unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the side. Ed watched him lie down and wiggle up the bed, using his elbows and hands for leverage. Once his head hit the pillow, he lifted his hips while balancing on one foot and removed his pants and boxers in a slick move that was very impressive.

  “See?” Javi said, pointing at his body.

  Ed couldn’t reply, as his saliva had disappeared around the same time as the clothes. He zeroed in on Javi’s impressive erection, completely ignoring everything else. It felt like he was having an out-of-body experience as he removed his shirt and slid down his pants and boxers. Javi curled his fingers around his own shaft while he watched Ed undress. He circled the bulbous head peeking through his foreskin, clear fluid pearling from his slit.

  Seeing Javi’s reaction to his striptease was empowering. He wanted Ed, judging by the excess fluid sliding down the thick veins of his shaft until it pooled in the dark curls at the base of his cock.

  Finally bare—and slightly vulnerable—Ed waited for direction. There was no hiding his arousal from Javi’s heated gaze. He was painfully stiff and longing to press his full weight on Javi and grind against him, but he needed reassurance. Even though it had been so easy back in the day, it was long ago with Javi in the lead role. Right then, Ed felt like a clumsy virgin.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asked in a ragged plea.

  “Come here,” Javi said. “Lie down on top of me.”

  Javi spread his legs, and it was then Ed noticed the sock on the stump. Ignoring everything but Javi’s face, he braced himself with his elbows and slowly eased into place between Javi’s spread thighs. Memories rushed through him, and he shuddered as Javi’s rigid cock slotted against his matching erection. It felt amazing and goddamn perfect. He moaned helplessly.

  “Welcome home, Edu,” Javi whispered.

  Ed slanted his mouth over Javi’s. It had been a long time since Ed had surrendered to a passionate kiss, something he considered more intimate than actual intercourse. There was no latex to block the exchange of breath and saliva, and by its very nature, it felt like the ultimate surrender. Javi’s kisses were nothing like a woman’s. He was needy but aggressive, and his lips were softer than Ed expected, offset by the sensation of his silky facial hair, which added another element to the joining. It wasn’t unpleasant, just different, and Ed responded enthusiastically.

  Their breathing grew more ragged as the pressure built, and soon they were undulating against each other, seeking the friction that would bring them release.

  “What should I do?” Ed asked desperately.

  Javi didn’t reply but reached down, grabbed their cocks in his hands, and started a hard and frantic stroke. Ed’s ragged breathing and rising heartbeat convinced him he was about to have a heart attack, but he was beyond caring. He was going to come in Javi’s arms even if it was the last thing he’d do.

  “Cariño,” Javi whispered, “I’ve dreamt about this so many times.”

  “Oh God,” Ed said, straining toward release.

  He shouted Javi’s name when he erupted in hot spurts, setting off the chain of events that ended with Javi’s shuddering climax.

  “Jesus.” Ed buried his face in Javi’s warm neck, almost afraid to look him in the eye. He was completely undone. In the past—with Carol at least—sex this good was always accompanied by words of love, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to say the three words that had apparently been on the tip of his tongue from the first moment he laid eyes on Javi’s wrecked body. The realization that he cared deeply for this man shook him to the core. He shuddered and let out an actual whimper. Javi’s deep chuckle put things back in perspective. He probably wasn’t expecting Ed to proclaim his undying love.

  “We’ll have to work on our stamina,” Javi joked. “This must be a new world record for the fastest ejaculation.”

  “Shut up,” Ed said gruffly. He hadn’t moved, and the sensation of mingled fluids rapidly cooling pushed him out of bed and straight to the bathroom. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Javi said.

  After he took care of himself, Ed found another washcloth on the rack of folded towels in the bathroom and soaked it in some warm water. Squeezing out the excess, he padded back into the bedroom and tossed it at Javi, startling the guy, who was half asleep.

  “Sorry,” Ed muttered when he realized what he’d done. “I didn’t realize you were sleeping. Your eyes were open.”

  “My bad eye never completely shuts,” Javi grumbled. “The other one was at half-mast.”

  “Really? That’s odd, isn’t it?”

  “It could be worse,” Javi said. “An eye patch or glass eye is a total buzzkill.”

  “You can’t tell you’re blind at first glance.”

  “I know,” Javi said. “It’s a small consolation.”

  “Can I get you anything from the kitchen?” Ed asked.

  “I wouldn’t mind a beer.”

  “That does sound good,” Ed concurred. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

  “Edu?”

  “Yes?”

  “It’s good to have you back.”

  Ed bobbed his head, not trusting himself to say another word. He left the room again and headed toward the kitchen. Back in less than five minutes, he handed Javi a bottle and then perched on the end of the bed.

  “Are you afraid to get too close?” Javi teased.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “You know I like to cuddle,” Javi said a little petulantly. “That much hasn’t changed in thirty years.”

  “I’d forgotten,” Ed said.

  Javi moved to make room. Before Ed knew it, Javi slipped under his arm and snuggled up companionably. They sipped their drinks, and when they were done, Ed put the empty bottles on the nightstand.

  “How does it feel to be back at work?” Ed asked, shifting their focus to the ordinary. “Are you managing okay?”

  “It’s all right,” Javi said. “Frankly, I’d rather be doing something else, but I don’t have many options right now.”

  “Your new prosthetic will open up several new avenues.”

  “Like what?”

  “Whatever you did before.”

  “No way,” Javi said in disbelief.

  “I’ve been doing some online research since I got here and have read some pretty amazing recovery stories. Many of these amputees were athletes like you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Sure. It’s like anything else, though. You’ll have to get used to your new equipment and learn how to work with it.”

  “I’m not sure I want to surf again,” Javi said.

  “Why not?”

  “It’s a young man’s sport, for one thing, and I keep thinking about that fucking shark coming out of nowhere. I used to be fearless, Ed. Now I wake up from these ongoing nightmares, screaming and shaking like a big pussy.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Ed said soothingly. “PTSD doesn’t only affect soldiers, you know. People from all walks of life who’ve experienced violence in any form can suffer from that disorder.”

  “Okay, but how do I get over it?”

  “I think that talking about the attack might help, and then getting back into the water would be the next logical step. You
might decide that pro surfing isn’t what you want anymore, and that’s okay, but I would hate to see you landlocked because of fear. It’s not you.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “Why don’t you start from the beginning and we’ll try and get through it. I’ll be right here if you have a panic attack.”

  “You know what to do if I can’t catch my breath?”

  “Come on, babe. I’m a doctor. I won’t let you pass out.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “Trust me,” Ed said, following it up with a soft kiss.

  “It started out like any other day,” Javi began. “I was having a great run and pretty sure I stood a good chance to win the tournament.”

  Ed listened as Javi recounted that fateful day. His voice remained even until he got to the part where he felt the thud against his surfboard and had the sickening realization that he was under attack. Suddenly Javi’s breathing turned erratic and he stopped talking. Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead and the hand that reached for Ed’s was ice cold.

  “You’re safe,” Ed said calmly, rocking Javi back and forth in his arms. “We’re in your bedroom and everything’s going to be okay.”

  After a while Javi snorted and tapped Ed’s face with a limp hand.

  “Fuck talking. I can’t do this without falling apart.”

  “It’s only our first attempt,” Ed said quietly. “We’ll keep trying until you can get to the end of your story without having a meltdown.”

  “I’m not sure that’ll ever happen,” Javi said.

  “Don’t be discouraged,” Ed said. “I’m here now.”

  “For how long?”

  The question made Ed pause. He’d already been here two weeks, which left him another month. Could Javi recover in that short a time? And if not, would he be willing to stay a little longer? Inexplicably, guilt swamped him again. After the way he’d behaved in the past, Ed felt he owed it to Javi to stay as long as possible. Fortunately, money and his job weren’t issues. It was simply a question of making phone calls and moving things around. Before he could change his mind, he said, “I’m not going anywhere until you’re on the road to recovery or close enough to satisfy us both.”

  Javi pulled away and turned. Peering into Ed’s eyes, he asked dubiously, “You’ll stay as long as I need you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” Javi asked. “You have a life back home.”

  “I’m beginning to wonder about that.”

  Javi shook his head like he couldn’t believe his ears.

  “Shall we table this discussion?” Ed suggested.

  “Yeah. Let’s take a nap instead.”

  Gratefully, Ed closed his eyes and turned on his side while Javi spooned into position, his face, chest, and hips snuggled tightly against Ed’s back.

  He didn’t know how long they slept, but waking up to Javi’s hot mouth engulfing his cock precluded an investigation. It didn’t matter if it was six in the evening or midnight. The only thing that counted was the toe-curling technique Javi had obviously perfected. Ed moved aside the shaggy locks falling over Javi’s face. He wanted to watch, and he groaned in pleasure when Javi sucked in his cheeks and the soft lapping turned to vigorous sucking. Instinctively, Ed captured Javi’s bobbing head and began thrusting. When Javi swallowed, Ed totally lost it, and he bucked and came with a loud shout. Undeterred, Javi swallowed the hot stream and continued sucking on him until he went flaccid.

  When Ed was wrung dry, Javi scooted up into his open arms. Unfinished business poked Ed’s thigh, and he turned to kiss Javi, who still tasted like him.

  “I’m not sure I can return the favor successfully,” Ed said gruffly. “It’s been too long.”

  “Practice makes perfect,” Javi teased. “But for now, let me fuck your hand.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Ed reached down and fisted Javi’s cock while kissing him deeply. The soft sighs of contentment escaping from both of them would have resurrected Ed’s cock if he were twenty-two again. For now, though, Javi’s frantic movements and grunts of satisfaction were reward enough. At least he was doing something right. The rest, he’d have to relearn.

  Chapter 14

  IKER TRIED not to brood after Ed blew him off, but he couldn’t help being disappointed. After his lifeguard duties that morning, he’d rushed home, showered, changed, and returned to Zurriola Beach, hoping to catch a glimpse of the American. Although Ed hadn’t promised to come, Iker was left with the impression he might. And that had been enough to set his mind at ease after the conversation in Markina.

  He had no right to expect anything, much less hope that Ed would openly admit he was bisexual. Trying to get a closeted guy to come out was fruitless. The messenger always got hurt or maimed, and in really bad cases, killed. Iker hadn’t survived this long by being impulsive.

  The majority of the men who played jai alai were younger versions of their fathers. Some were tolerant of gays, but across the board, no one wanted to see them in action. It was better to adopt the now-defunct DADT policy of the US military if one wanted to stay in the sport. Iker had kept his orientation under wraps until he left home, and even in Miami, he was careful and didn’t flaunt his sexuality. The city had been large enough for him to pursue his career while actively living the life of a gay man.

  Thankfully social mores had changed through the years. With each trip home to visit his parents, he saw a shift in attitude, especially in the more populated areas like San Sebastián. None of the relationships he’d had in America were meaningful enough for him to risk it all and have the “talk” with his parents, but he would have for the right person. As it stood, they stopped asking why he’d never married and he avoided the confrontation, playing the dutiful son and visiting every so often. In that respect, he was just as guilty as Ed for keeping the truth from his family, and he wanted to kick himself for being such a jerk on their day trip.

  Every day on the beach he saw gay men and women being openly affectionate. Spain had turned out to be one of the more tolerant countries in the world with regards to same-sex relationships. Iker sympathized with Ed and his general reluctance to explore his orientation back home, but here in San Sebastián, where no one knew him, he’d have the perfect opportunity to figure it out without risking anything.

  The attraction between he and Ed had been powerful from the beginning, but Javi Elizalde was the big stumbling block. He’d been front and center in Ed’s mind, and Iker had no intention of adding to the confusion by making a move. Javi had dealt with enough in the last year, and moreover, Iker wasn’t in the habit of poaching. He’d have to settle for friendship if it was the only thing being offered.

  With that goal in mind, Iker decided to pay Javi a visit to see if anything had changed since last night. He’d heard a lot about the legendary surfer, and the one thing that stood out among all his accomplishments was his engaging personality. Everyone loved him. Hopefully Javi had seen through the mind games Ed had unconsciously been playing with Iker as bait. It had taken him a while to catch on, but after hearing Ed and Javi’s story, Iker realized he might be the catalyst they needed to get back together. It was a juvenile ploy and he didn’t like the idea of being used, but given their history and Ed’s squeamishness, he could understand. Mostly. Iker wasn’t a saint by any means and would have preferred another scenario—one in which Javi didn’t exist—but he couldn’t change the past. These were the cards he’d been dealt, and Iker decided to suck it up and be the better man. There was no point in alienating such an important member of the community.

  When he walked into Elizalde Bar that evening, he wasn’t surprised to find Ed perched on a barstool having a drink. He’d apparently made some progress in his quest for a reunion if he was in Javi’s establishment. Ed waved at him.

  “I thought you were going to the beach today,” Iker said by way of greeting.

  Bright cheeks and a wide smile told the whole story. Iker felt a small pang of loss on a missed o
pportunity, but he was happy for the guy.

  “Javi asked me to lunch, and one thing led to another… never got around to it. Sorry.”

  “No worries,” Iker said. “Is everything okay between you two?”

  “Better than okay,” Ed said, flushing again.

  “Good,” Iker said.

  Javi wheeled his chair over to their side and caught their last exchange.

  “Where’d you learn English?” Javi asked.

  Iker turned to Ed in surprise. “Didn’t you tell him?”

  “No.”

  Addressing Javi, Iker replied, “I was a pelotari in Miami for the last twenty years. It gave me a chance to learn English, among other things.”

  “Good for you,” Javi said enthusiastically. “What in the heck are you doing playing lifeguard?”

  “My contract expired six months ago.”

  “I see,” Javi said knowingly. “It sucks to get old, doesn’t it?”

  “I’m only thirty-eight,” Iker pointed out.

  “But you guys are like surfers,” Javi noted. “Our shelf life isn’t that long.”

  “Unfortunately. You’ve had a good run from what I understand.”

  “It was great,” Javi agreed. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  “Cuba Libre.”

  Javi grinned. “I should have known better. Most pelotaris who’ve been in Florida ask for the same drink.”

  “Yeah, I guess it’s a tradition.”

  “Frankly, I can’t stand it,” Javi remarked, “but I’ll get yours.”

  “Thanks.”

  As soon as Javi wheeled away, Ed turned to him. “I have a big favor to ask of you.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Would you be willing to take Javi out on your surfboard one of these days?”

  “Me? I’m not an experienced surfer.”

  “But you’re a good lifeguard.”

  “Javi’s the last person who needs a babysitter, and he sure as shit won’t take advice from me.”

  “Keep this to yourself,” Ed said under his breath.

  Iker turned his head to see Javi making his way back with a highball glass and a platter of pintxos.