Gnarly

by Mickie B. Ashling

  “Here you go,” he said, pushing everything toward Iker. “I thought you might be hungry. You can share it with Ed while I go back to work.”

  “Thank you,” Iker said.

  As soon as Javi left them alone, Iker said, “What’s really going on?”

  “He won’t get in the water,” Ed replied in a low voice. “The shark attack has destroyed his confidence, and he’s terrified to get on a board again.”

  “I would be too,” Iker sympathized.

  “Yeah, but it’s killing him. The guy needs to be back in his element.”

  “Ask someone else,” Iker said. “Another surfer would be a better option.”

  “I don’t know anyone,” Ed persisted. “And he’ll hear about my plan if I go around soliciting his friends. You’re my only hope.”

  “Let’s talk about it another time.”

  Iker took a sip of the Cuba Libre, also known as rum and Coke, and made a thumbs-up gesture to Javi, who winked at him playfully.

  “I’ll swing by the beach tomorrow,” Ed said.

  “Okay.”

  Iker turned his attention to the food, all the while wondering what he’d gotten himself into. Every lifeguard was aware how quickly the dynamic could shift during a rescue if a panicked victim wasn’t handled properly. They could both drown, and on the off chance he survived and Javi didn’t, he’d never forgive himself. Could the guy even swim without a foot? Of course he could, Iker thought to himself, dismissing the stupid assumption.

  “Stop worrying,” Ed said, picking up on his mood.

  Iker frowned. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

  “Why?”

  “Trust has to be earned, Ed. He doesn’t know me at all. In fact, he probably doesn’t like me after your stupid games.”

  “About that—”

  “Forget it,” Iker said. “I shouldn’t have made a move on you until I got the lay of the land.”

  Ed shook his head. “You had no clue you were dealing with a closeted numbnuts.”

  “Did Javi drag you kicking and screaming or did you come out willingly?”

  Ed moaned and scrubbed his face with both hands. “You must think I’m the world’s biggest loser.”

  “Love makes people stupid,” Iker remarked. “I don’t like what’s happening, but I get it.”

  “You’re the second person who’s called me stupid in less than twenty-four hours.”

  Iker shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

  “I’m sorry. Really. I know I’ve been an ass, but Javi shouldn’t be punished for my behavior. Can you put your feelings aside and give me a hand with this project? I could really use your help.”

  “I’m not sure I can get him to put his fears aside and let me take over.”

  “We’re going to change that.”

  “How do you figure?” Iker asked.

  “You guys are going to get better acquainted.”

  “On what pretext?”

  Ed looked pensive. “Surfing, maybe?”

  “Huh?”

  “Let me think about it and we’ll talk again tomorrow.”

  Iker stuck around until the bar closed at two in the morning. Every time he tried to leave, one of them, Ed or Javi, would coax him into staying. He felt awkward at first, not sure what Javi must think of him, but his drink was constantly replenished, as was the food, and Javi’s demeanor was above reproach. Iker eventually relaxed.

  If their roles were reversed and he had to share his love interest with a stranger, Iker wasn’t sure he’d be as generous. Then again, Javi probably didn’t consider him a threat now that he and Ed had reconciled. And if Iker needed further proof that the two had patched up their differences, the spontaneous kisses and hand-holding were more than enough.

  One of the advantages to sticking around was making new friends. Every customer who walked in was familiar to Javi or his father, Patxi, who worked tirelessly by his side. Somehow Iker was included in the introductions, and when the new acquaintances discovered he was an ex-pelotari, the conversation veered toward the sport. There was nothing Iker enjoyed more than reminiscing about his glory days in Miami. Back then, he was on top of the world, with a hefty bank account, decent house, and sporty vehicle. It was a far cry from his current life in San Sebastián. Here he was renting a one-bedroom apartment and didn’t even own a car. He couldn’t bring himself to spend more than the bare minimum until his future was secure.

  Well-meaning offers from some of the older guys who had connections in town were thrown out in passing, and Iker filed them away for reference. Maybe one of them might actually pan out, although he still hadn’t decided what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He was young and had decades of living to contend with. Occasionally he’d bemoan the unfairness of it all. The job market in Spain was terrible, and staying in America hadn’t been an option. If he’d only used his spare time to get some sort of degree online, he might have had more opportunities, but he’d fallen into a comfortable trap, convinced that he’d have another five years. It had come as a complete shock when his contract wasn’t renewed.

  If his moral compass hadn’t been so firmly in place, he’d have considered the marriage option as a way of staying in Florida. He knew guys who’d done it. Arranged marriages to bypass immigration laws were a common occurrence and beneficial to both parties if one could pull it off without getting caught. But a gay man would be subjected to far more rigorous scrutiny, and Iker didn’t have the stomach for it. Furthermore, it would mean complete transparency. Even if he were willing to overlook his former teammates’ disappointment, he couldn’t bear to hurt his parents, and they would undoubtedly find out that he’d married another man.

  Which was why he was sitting in a bar in San Sebastián, entertaining job offers from men who assumed that someone as young and fit as he was could easily find work as a truck driver or laborer. He probably could if he were desperate, but Iker hadn’t reached that low yet. Not that there was anything wrong with a blue-collar job, but it wasn’t what he wanted. There was a tiny part of him that hoped he’d find something of his own, a business venture that would be fulfilling mentally as well as financially.

  They walked out of the bar together with Javi sandwiched between them. People were still milling about on the street, as most of the bars closed around this time. Iker saw a few familiar faces, gay men who’d stopped to flirt with him on the beach, hoping they’d get lucky. Once again, they sent him signals and a few caught his eye, but he was tired of one-night stands, which was all they had to offer.

  Iker longed for something permanent to keep him rooted to the land of his birth. He was adrift at the moment, lonely and worried about his future. It would be nice to have someone who cared about him in more ways than the physical release. Yesterday, he thought he might find that connection with Ed. Now, with Javi between them, he knew that was an impossible dream.

  “Lots of eyes on you, Iker,” Javi teased. “You could easily pull someone if you wanted.”

  Was he that obvious? Had his longing for a human connection leached out of him like sweat?

  “Nah, I’m fine,” he said dismissively. “Don’t worry about my love life.”

  “Who’s talking love? I’m saying you could get laid tonight without much effort if you wanted.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Iker responded, “but I’m not interested.”

  “Do you have a boyfriend tucked away somewhere?”

  “No, not at all.”

  “You’re just being picky?” Javi asked.

  “Leave the man alone,” Ed interjected. “He doesn’t need you to pimp for him.”

  “I wasn’t,” Javi said, laughing. “Just stating facts.”

  “Thanks for your support,” Iker said, “but it’s not necessary.”

  When they arrived at Javi’s building, Iker shook their hands and thanked them both for inviting him to stay at the bar. The entire evening had been on the house, and although Iker had protested several times, wa
ving his euros at Javi, the payment had been ignored.

  “You’ll have to let me reciprocate and take you both out next time,” he insisted.

  “That sounds good,” Ed said. “We’ll plan something.”

  Javi’s parting “Agur” was still ringing in Iker’s ears as he spun around and walked away. He tried not to dwell on the image of Ed sprawled naked in Javi’s bed, a given since Javi had never let go of Ed as they entered the portal. The vision remained fixed in his mind as he made his way home. Javi’s recent misfortunes hadn’t stripped his raw sex appeal; on the contrary, surviving a shark attack had added to his legendary mystique. Iker wasn’t immune to the machismo, and by the end of the evening, he’d caught himself staring, only to quickly look away when Javi met his eyes and smiled. Imagining a scene with Ed or Javi wasn’t much of a hardship.

  Iker tried thinking of something other than sex, but his body was reacting to the fantasy, making the walk home unbearable. As soon as he shut his apartment door, he stripped and threw himself on the couch. It didn’t take more than a few tugs to send him over the edge. The most surprising part of his impromptu session wasn’t the urge to get off. It was the scene playing out in his head. Ed on all fours, Javi plowing into his sweet ass, while Iker lay supine on the mattress with his legs drawn up to his chest, asscheeks spread invitingly, staring into Ed’s dove-gray eyes as he thrust in and out.

  When his breathing subsided and his heart stopped pounding, reality hit. Hoping for anything more between him and Ed was pointless. He’d have to settle for friendship or keep his distance.

  Chapter 15

  ED LEFT Javi’s bed around ten in the morning, promising to return with some freshly baked croissants, eggs, and ham so he could prepare breakfast. Javi merely waved him off. It was still dawn as far as he was concerned. Anyone who worked at a bar until closing didn’t stir before noon. Ed was aware he’d have at least two hours before he’d be missed.

  After a quick stop at his apartment for a shower and shave, he threw on a pair of shorts and a collared T-shirt and headed toward the bakery. There was a small market right beside, and he bought eggs and enough ham for the omelet he planned on making. He was pretty competent in the kitchen, especially since Carol’s death, and breakfast was something he could handle without a problem.

  Throwing all his purchases in a handled bag, he headed toward the beach, wanting to keep his promise to Iker and discuss his plan regarding Javi. The flurry of activity on the promenade reminded him that today was August fifteenth, the Feast of the Virgin Mary and the start of Semana Grande. There were going to be free concerts, street entertainment, and nightly fireworks. Bullfighting was also included in the list of activities. Ed had thought about attending, but he changed his mind after Patxi informed him the bull would be killed as per tradition, not released as Ed hoped. The controversy over the blood sport continued throughout Spain, but it would be featured in San Sebastián during the festival.

  Carnival rides and food stalls had sprung up behind the Kursaal, the convention center, which looked like giant embedded rocks. It was used for conferences, exhibits, concerts, and the San Sebastián Film Festival. At night, the interior was alight in the colors of the current season.

  Ed shouldered his way through the thick crowd, wondering if he’d manage to spot Iker in this mess. It wasn’t noon yet, but the place was crawling with tourists and locals alike. He headed toward the lifeguard station, hoping Iker would be hanging around, and spied him immediately. Iker was head and shoulders above most of the crowd. He was sporting his man bun today, and despite how incongruous it might have seemed, he’d never looked manlier.

  Ed took a minute to tamp down the attraction. There was something about Iker he couldn’t resist. It didn’t help at all that Javi had mentioned the same thing and flat-out told him he wouldn’t object to a three-way. That was the way he and Javi had first hooked up, after all, and apparently neither time nor their romantic entanglement had dampened Javi’s enthusiasm for multiple sex partners.

  “I wouldn’t think any less of you, cariño.”

  They’d been lying in bed early that morning after another satisfying session of lovemaking, and Ed was still trying to catch his breath when Javi brought it up.

  “I know you’re into him, and I think he’s hot as hell. I honestly wouldn’t mind if we got together. The guy looks lonely.”

  “Wait—what? All three of us? Here? In your bed?”

  Javi smirked. “Doesn’t that sound really good?”

  “Aren’t you the least bit jealous?”

  “Not unless you fall in love with him.”

  “What if I do? What if you start to have feelings for him? How would it work then?”

  “You worry too much, Edu.”

  “I’m monogamous by nature.”

  “No one will take away the special bond that you and I share,” Javi said. “I’ve slept with over a hundred men since you and I parted ways, but I can honestly say that none of them made me feel the way you do. I love you, Edu. Being monogamous has nothing to do with love. It’s a stupid rule imposed by society, and the truth is that most people cheat at one time or another. Why not be open about it, instead of lying to the one person whose opinion matters the most?”

  “Sheesh… more food for thought,” Ed said. “I’m just getting used to calling myself bisexual. Not sure if I can get past my inherent tendency to be a straightlaced-conventional-stick-up-my-ass kind of guy.”

  Javi couldn’t hold back his laughter, and Ed ended up snorting with amusement as well. The whole conversation was far-fetched, so out of the norm, but strangely appropriate given everything that had happened so far.

  Thoughts of the predawn conversation were interrupted by the sight of Iker walking toward him. He looked really happy to see Ed, despite last night’s confession. Did his attraction still hold or was it wishful thinking on Ed’s part? Would he end up with a black eye if he mentioned Javi’s suggestion?

  Unsure of anything right now, Ed shelved the idea for the moment.

  “It’s crazy out here,” Ed remarked. “How on earth are you supposed to patrol the beach with all this activity?”

  “It’s a challenge.”

  “Aren’t there going to be fireworks tonight?”

  “Yeah, but I’ll be off duty by then. The beach will be someone else’s problem,” Iker said.

  “Good thing. You want to join us for dinner? Javi’s off today and he sent an invite.”

  “Won’t I be intruding?” Iker asked warily.

  “Not at all,” Ed said. “Seriously. We’d both like you to come for dinner.”

  “You’re not going to set me up with a blind date, are you?”

  “The only one with a blind date will be me,” Ed said ruefully. “And if Javi were here, he would have laughed at my dark joke, so don’t think I’m a heartless prick.”

  “I would never think that of you,” Iker said. “Is this invitation part of your covert operation to earn Javi’s trust?”

  “Yes and no,” Ed admitted truthfully. “He already likes you, Iker. We both do. And I think that your confidence in the water might rub off on him. Javi’s one of the bravest men I know; he just needs a little reminder.”

  “I think you’re giving me more credit than I deserve, but I have to admit I enjoy being in your company. Our mission impossible is as good an excuse as any to tag along. Are you positive I’m not going to be a third wheel?”

  Ed crossed his heart. “I swear.”

  Iker laughed. “Okay. Where and when do you want to meet?”

  ED TURNED the key to Javi’s apartment, and he could hear his man singing in the shower. He hoped he’d contributed in some small measure to this joyous rendition of “Dancing in the Street.” It would be another week before the new prosthesis arrived and training for actual dancing could begin in earnest, but the anticipation had lifted Javi’s spirits exponentially.

  By the time Javi entered the kitchen, coffee was ready, the croissants, butt
er, and jam were on the table, and Ed had made the final flip on a remarkably good-looking ham-and-cheese omelet.

  “Umm,” Javi said in an exaggerated moan. “Something smells really good.”

  He parked his crutches against a wall and hopped over to Ed. Flinging both arms around his neck, Javi kissed him deeply. He tasted minty and fresh, and Ed wondered if his breath was just as appealing. He’d been taste testing at the market when he’d shopped earlier, sampling different cheeses, olives, and chorizos, but hadn’t bothered to brush his teeth when he got home. He broke the kiss.

  “Do I taste awful?” Ed inquired.

  “Why would you?”

  “I’ve been sampling all kinds of savory things and haven’t brushed yet.”

  “You overthink everything, Edu. What’s for breakfast?”

  “See for yourself,” Ed said, pointing at the food. He pulled out a chair for Javi and helped him get comfortable. Then he divided the omelet in half, plating Javi’s portion and setting it down on the table before he took care of himself.

  “This is delicious,” Javi said after swallowing his first piece. “I had no idea you could cook.”

  Ed smiled with relief. “Thanks. I learned after my wife died. The twins and I got sick of TV dinners and fast food, so my choices were take up cooking or remarry. Working a griddle seemed like the better plan.”

  “I should put you to work at the bar.”

  “No thanks. My culinary skills don’t go beyond breakfast and burgers.”

  “Too bad,” Javi teased. “You’d look good with an apron tied around your waist.”

  “Shut up.”

  They finished their meal in companionable silence. When they were done, Ed picked up the dishes and put them in the sink. He’d clean up in a minute. First he wanted to tell Javi what had transpired at the beach with Iker.

  “It’s a mess out on the promenade,” he began.

  “Why?”

  “Semana Grande starts today.”

  “Joder. I forgot all about it.”

  “Since you’re off work, I asked Iker to join us for dinner, and then we can go and watch the fireworks.”