Gnarly

by Mickie B. Ashling

  The first step had to be a complete physical recovery. He’d never get his eye back, but it didn’t seem to be a problem. Javi never complained about his sight. His chief complaint was his foot, or lack thereof. Once he had full use of both legs and his balance was restored, things might improve. At the moment he was still feeling terribly vulnerable. Underneath the biting wit and prickly exterior lay a man who was beaten down by the very sport that had uplifted him for years.

  Ed knew there was a warrior lurking somewhere beneath the terror, and it would be up to him and Iker to draw him out. Until then they’d bide their time and love Javi back to health as best as possible.

  Iker decided to go home that night. He wanted to do laundry and get a good night’s sleep so he’d be fresh for work the next day. After kissing Javi good night, he asked Ed to walk him to the elevator.

  “Javi was totally creeped out at the beach,” Iker said worriedly. “It’s almost like he can see that fucking shark just waiting to finish the job.”

  “I know,” Ed said. “You should have met him years ago, Iker. The guy was fearless.”

  “That’s why he’s a legend among die-hard surfers. I’m confident his guts will return once he’s able to walk and swim,” Iker said, echoing Ed’s thoughts.

  “I hope so, but it’s not going to happen overnight,” Ed stated. “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I’m ready for some shut-eye.”

  “You’ll stay with him tonight?”

  Ed nodded. “Yeah, I think he’d like the company.”

  Iker kissed him lightly. “See you tomorrow?”

  “We have that appointment at the clinic.”

  “Right, I forgot. Call me when you get back home and I’ll come over,” Iker said.

  “Will do.”

  When Ed let himself into the apartment, Javi was already in bed.

  “Tired, babe?”

  “Exhausted,” Javi said. “You guys wore me out.”

  Ed chuckled. “Can I get you anything from the kitchen before I climb into bed?”

  “A glass of water would be nice.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

  When Ed returned, Javi was asleep. He was spread out like a starfish, naked and exposed. Aside from the sock-covered stump, he looked good for a man his age. Ed wasn’t sure if it was his imagination or not, but Javi looked better than he had when Ed first showed up. The frown lines were less noticeable, and the deep brackets around his mouth seemed to have softened. Perhaps it was love clouding his vision, but Ed wanted to think his presence had something to do with Javi’s improved appearance. His blind eye was partially open, and Ed had to remind himself that this was a new normal and he’d better get used to it.

  He stripped, shut off the lights, and slid into bed. Javi muttered, annoyed by the intrusion, but quickly realized who was in bed with him. He curled around Ed, and his soft snoring resumed within minutes.

  Despite his fatigue, Ed didn’t fall asleep immediately. Tomorrow was an important day and critical to Javi’s full recovery. He prayed things would go well, but he’d been around the medical community long enough to know that mistakes sometimes happen, even with the best intentions. And if something didn’t work, it would send Javi on a downward spiral. Ed had no control over any of it, which made it that much harder. It was futile to stress over tomorrow, so Ed tucked away his concerns in the compartment labeled Javi.

  Then he pulled out another mental compartment to think about Iker’s surprising suggestion. He had no idea if a surf shop would be lucrative or not, but it was definitely worth exploring. If it would give Iker a steady income and Javi the chance to return to the surfing world without risking his life, it was worth investigating.

  As for his own future, nothing was written in stone yet, but Ed decided it was time to focus on his happiness for a change. Aiden and Avery would be graduating soon, and once that financial burden was out of the way, he’d be able to cut back. The most difficult thing would be telling them he was bisexual. He had no clue how they’d react. Like most everything in medicine, facing an unwanted diagnosis with courage depended a lot on the delivery. If Ed sounded convincing, reassuring his twins that his current status took away nothing from the love he and Carol once shared, they might be less inclined to cut him out of their lives. They were smart, and young people nowadays were far more tolerant than their parents. Ed hoped his children fell into that category.

  Chapter 19

  THE CLINIC where Javi had his appointment was modestly furnished, with two private cubicles and a central area for physical rehab. It wasn’t as cutting-edge as the bone and joint department at Ed’s place of employment in Chicago. Nonetheless, the staff was pleasantly efficient and treated Ed with respect befitting of a fellow medical practitioner. He was relieved he didn’t have to go into a long explanation about his and Javi’s relationship status. Javi simply informed them Ed was his doctor friend from America who would be helping with his future care. Case closed.

  They ushered Javi into one of the cubicles. The assorted boxes containing his new foot and shoes were already inside. Ed picked up the mechanical foot and examined it slowly. Its appearance was futuristic and, for lack of a better word, totally badass. It was black with a split toe, and the portion from its heel to where Javi would insert his stump looked like a giant shock absorber. It was straight out of a sci-fi blockbuster, one in which the hero jumped from roof to roof or mountain climbed in Tibet. Javi would totally rock this foot. As far as Ed was concerned, it would add to his mystique, not detract. There was no mistaking it for the real thing. It looked exactly as the manufacturer intended: functional, sleek, and powerful.

  Javi was staring at it suspiciously. “What do you think, Edu?”

  “I think this will up your pulling power,” Ed said. “Call me weird, but this is totally hot.”

  Javi’s eyes rounded. “For real?”

  “If it works as well as it looks, you’ll be running around Sanse in no time.”

  Javi’s mouth curled in a grin. “It sure beats a wooden peg and a parrot, yeah?”

  Ed grinned back at him.

  Just then the physical therapist walked in. He greeted Javi warmly and got down to business.

  “Dr. Hollingsworth, do you know anything about the Re-Flex Shock system?”

  “Not a damn thing,” Ed said frankly. “If you would be so kind as to explain it from the top, I’d appreciate it.”

  “All right,” the therapist said, looking relieved. “Let’s start with Javi’s stump. He’s been doing a good job cleaning it and keeping it moisturized, but he hasn’t put any weight on it. Now that he has this powerful prosthetic, things will start to change, and one of the areas that will be most affected is the tissue around his stump.”

  “Makes sense,” Ed said. “Any tips?”

  “Remove and examine the prosthesis every night to make sure there are no loose parts. Examine the stump for blisters or any red spots. Those aren’t good. Calluses, on the other hand, are going to develop, and that’s to be expected. No one has silky smooth feet. The stump will take a pounding, and over time the skin will toughen up. After his shower, place a small amount of moisturizer on the stump and rub it in gently to keep it hydrated. Place a bandage on the stump when you’re not using it to decrease swelling. Clean the prosthesis’s socket with soap and water. Wear a clean and proper-fitting sock all the time. Did you get everything?” he asked Ed.

  “I’ve been recording you,” Ed said, lifting his phone.

  “Good idea,” Javi said. “I tuned him out after he mentioned examining the stump.”

  “There’s one more thing,” the therapist said. “It’s important to maintain your current body weight. Extra pounds might affect the fit. You should also bring the prosthesis in once a year for inspection to make sure none of the parts are worn out.”

  “Like a car,” Ed said, nodding. “It’s a piece of machinery, after all.”

  “Yes.”

  “Noted,” Javi said.
>
  “Let’s move on to the mechanics of this thing,” the therapist said. He pulled out a sock from a plastic bag that contained a pair and covered Javi’s stump. “This special sock will ensure a proper fit and improve comfort.”

  Javi and Ed watched as he slipped the sock over the stump. Then the mechanical foot was slowly attached and locked in place with a special lever.

  “How does it feel?” the therapist asked.

  “Snug,” Javi said. “Like a new pair of shoes.”

  The therapist nodded. “It should fit tightly, but not too much.”

  “How will I know if it’s too much?”

  “The pain will speak to you,” he replied pragmatically. “Don’t try and tough it out, Javi. If it hurts, that means something isn’t right.”

  “Okay.”

  The therapist lifted a brochure. “Listen to this,” he said. “The Re-Flex Shock offers the best vertical shock absorption of all the Össur mechanical feet. The composite spring in front provides optimal shock absorption that reduces impact subjected to the body. There are three impact levels: low, moderate, and active.”

  “How do I identify which one I’ll need?” Javi asked.

  “Low is for gentle, steady walking with the use of a cane or crutch, moderate is for average walking outside, with the ability to vary speeds up or down. High is for brisk walking, jogging, or climbing stairs.”

  “How soon can I jog?” Javi asked.

  “Eventually,” the therapist replied. “It’s a gradual thing, Javi. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know.”

  “Yes, yes,” Javi said, impatiently waving away the cliché.

  “Javi.” Ed stopped him. “Let’s start with baby steps, okay?”

  “Can I stand up now?”

  “Dr. Hollingsworth, grab one arm to support him, and I’ll grab the other.”

  “You bet,” Ed said, positioning himself.

  Javi slid off the gurney and wobbled.

  “Stand still for a minute,” the therapist ordered. “Let your mind and body get in sync. Your brain has to reboot and get familiar with a new body part.”

  “So do I,” Javi said ruefully. “It feels a little weird.”

  “Understandable,” Ed said. “Even new shoes feel odd the first time you slip them on your feet.”

  “That’s true,” Javi said, sounding encouraged.

  Ed never let go of Javi’s arm, silently providing physical and mental support, without trying to direct the show. After a few minutes, the therapist asked, “How do you feel now? Are you dizzy or feeling faint?”

  “No, I’m fine. Can I put some weight on it?”

  “You should have distributed your weight evenly when you first stood up.”

  Javi snorted. “I’m too used to standing around like a flamingo.”

  “Let’s forget that species and start walking like a man,” the therapist said.

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Nothing worthwhile is easy,” Ed said gently. “You got this, babe.”

  Javi took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He transferred his weight to both feet and stepped forward. He careened slightly to the right, but with the help of Ed and the therapist, Javi made a slight adjustment to his stance and took another step, and another, and then one more. He stood on slightly spread legs and glanced down at his new foot. When he looked up, his good eye glittered, blending the greens and browns with grateful tears.

  “I can do this, Edu.”

  Ed’s throat clogged, and his eyes were a teary mess. He didn’t know when he’d turned into such a sap, but the optimism in Javi’s voice broke him, and he spluttered and blubbered, weeping openly like an emotional boy instead of a professional. Javi’s self-control shattered when Ed broke down, and he yielded to his pent-up emotions. They clung to each other with the therapist looking on indulgently.

  After a while Ed got himself under control, and he gratefully accepted the proffered box of tissue, offering some to Javi, who wiped his face, unabashed.

  “Aren’t Basque men supposed to be stoic?” Ed asked, hiccup-laughing at his momentary weakness.

  “What about you?” Javi challenged. “My icy-cool doctor is actually an emotional fraud.”

  Ed flipped him off and then blew his nose.

  Javi laughed.

  “What you’re experiencing is very normal,” the therapist interjected kindly. “I’ve seen more than my fair share of tears when an amputee realizes their interrupted life might go back to normal.”

  “I know, man, it’s pretty powerful,” Javi said. “Okay, business as usual. Shall I take a few more steps?”

  “That’s what I’m here for, Javi.”

  They spent three hours at the clinic, and by the end of the session, Javi was walking across the room on his own. Triumphant, he fist-pumped each time he completed a turn. When they were ready to go, Ed wanted to call a cab. He was weighed down with bags and boxes, but Javi insisted on walking home without his crutches.

  “It’s too soon,” the therapist said. “You should take it slowly for the first few days.”

  “The apartment’s close,” Javi said. “I need to get used to my new foot.”

  “Stop being a gnarly bastard and listen to the man,” Ed snapped.

  Javi shook his head. “I’m doing this.”

  Ed wanted to throttle Javi, but on the other hand, he admired his tenacity.

  The therapist reluctantly agreed to let him walk home as long as Ed was hands-free. Javi could lean on him when he was tired and use Ed to support him in case he stumbled. In the end, they called Patxi to help with the new paraphernalia.

  When he saw Javi standing at the door, Patxi broke into tears, and the emotional avalanche started all over again. It was comical and heartwarming, but no one seemed to mind, least of all Javi. He did object when his father offered to get the car and drive them home.

  “No, Aita.”

  “You shouldn’t try and do so much,” Patxi said. “You’ll be sore tonight.”

  “Stop discouraging me,” Javi shouted. “I’m excited for the first time since I lost my foot.”

  Everyone backed down after Javi’s outburst. Ed rolled his eyes, however, and continued to mutter under his breath, but after a few minutes he snaked an arm around Javi’s slim waist. “Okay, buddy. Let’s roll.”

  There was one hairy moment on their walk home when Javi slipped and teetered precariously. Ed pulled him up by the waist and hung on until Javi regained his footing. Ed never loosened his grip, and he didn’t say a word. Javi was trembling slightly, and beads of sweat had popped out on his forehead. Ed could only imagine what was going through Javi’s mind, because despite his grandstanding, Javi had expected the new prosthesis to fail. The fact that it worked and he was encouraged for the first time in months must have given him the additional strength he needed to power through the last few blocks until they reached his building. Patxi was already at the portal, waiting impatiently. As soon as he saw the strained look on Javi’s face, he stepped forward and Javi draped an arm over his father’s shoulder and sagged, allowing the two most important men in his life to support him.

  “¡Joder!” Javi exclaimed. “I’m wiped.”

  “That must have been harder than you expected,” Patxi said gruffly.

  “Yeah, but totally worth it.”

  “Come on, Patxi,” Ed prompted. “Let’s get him inside and off his feet. I need to examine his stump to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.”

  “Stop treating me like a patient,” Javi snarled.

  “As far as I’m concerned, you are,” Ed said tersely. “I gave in to your quixotic posturing because you needed it psychologically, but now I’m taking over. Understand?”

  “Yes, dear,” Javi said sheepishly.

  “Asshole,” Ed replied.

  When they got upstairs, Javi agreed to lie down and let Ed remove the prosthesis. The tissue around his stump was slightly pink, but there were no blisters or deep red marks that suggested an imp
roper fit. He got a damp washcloth and cleaned the area, rubbing in a bit of moisturizer before pulling up one of Javi’s clean socks.

  “Stay off this for a few hours,” Ed suggested. “You can put it on again before we go to dinner.”

  “We’re going out?” Javi asked, surprised.

  “This milestone calls for a celebration,” Ed said. “Patxi, would you like to join us? My treat.”

  “Thank you, but I have things to do at the bar,” he replied.

  Patxi bent down and kissed Javi on the forehead. “Relax and enjoy tonight. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  “Business as usual,” Javi said ruefully. “I’ll be there.”

  As soon as Patxi left, Ed checked on Javi again and saw that he’d fallen asleep. He covered him with a light sheet and, when he got to the living room, reached for his phone to text Iker. He must have been waiting anxiously, because his reply was instantaneous and said he’d be right over. Ed told him to dress for a nice dinner. He’d decided to take the guys to Ni Neu in the Kursaal Center. It was walking distance and had a great view. It was also a little pricey, and that was the point. He wanted to take them someplace they’d never go on their own.

  Iker showed up in less than twenty minutes. Javi was still asleep, so they sat in the living room and Ed recounted the events of the day. Iker was excited about the news, but not as moved as Ed had been. He barely knew Javi, and although he liked and admired him tremendously, the deep connection hadn’t yet been established. Ed hoped his feelings would grow in time. It was important to him that they have each other during the long months he’d be in Chicago. He hadn’t voiced his plans yet, and wouldn’t until he felt the time was right, but he was optimistic that everything was falling into place.

  Chapter 20

  JAVI EXPERIENCED highs and lows the next few days, normal occurrences according to the physical therapist Ed had on speed dial. He’d requested the contact information in case he ever needed advice. The guy was gracious and handed over his number without hesitation. Ed had assured him that he wouldn’t turn into a clingy stalker and would only use it in case of an emergency.