by Milly Taiden
“Well I'm not sorry he made you show me how good your voice is,” Alexander says, pushing my curtain of hair away from my face. Let's sing it again one more time to make sure we're happy with it. ”
***
CHAPTER SIX
I'm standing outside waiting for my ride. The place will be closed tonight. No one wants to celebrate the end of the year in a diner. Tomorrow morning will be another story. It's one very busy morning. It will be almost as busy as a summer holiday weekend. I'm happy that I don't have to work then. No matter how good the tips would be they would not be good enough for putting up with the Bitch at her worst. She’ll probably show up with a monster hangover. Wendy will have to deal with her. She has barely spoken to me since Saturday and I'm ashamed I have not asked her how she’s doing.
I'll ask when I’ll get back to work after school next week. Right now, I'm in my little bubble of bliss and I'm not letting any misery in. The bubble has a short expiration date. Too soon it will burst as Alexander rides away.
I don't know how I will hold myself together since Ten will also be gone all the way to Europe for one term but I'm sure I'll find a way. It's not as if I had a choice. I've gotta keep this up for a few more months, just until I finish high school and then I'll be able to run away. My plan is to work for a year, settle down and then start college.
Alexander is the one who picks me up today. He's been enjoying this long weekend in the Clark's house. He's fallen in love with the piano and says that when he has enough money he will purchase one just like that. I know most girls my age would wonder how long it takes before one gets accepted as a star and invited by other stars to cool parties and fancy television shows. That’s not the questions that come to my mind. Mine are not so glittery. I’m a boring down to earth girl. What I really want to know is how long does it take for a rock star to make enough money to buy a Steinway? I have no idea how much a tour brings in. Or maybe it does not bring in anything but helps you sell records and establish yourself as an artist? Then the income would be from the sales? I want to ask Alexander but I don't because I fear my curiosity about the music industry will make me look like I'm a money greedy girlfriend.
I smile as he gets closer. What I truly am is a time greedy girlfriend. I want every second he can give to me before he goes on the road. I realize this may be all the time I'll ever get with him. He's going to be a star and I'll probably lose him when it happens but, at least he'll have been mine for a little while.
He stops just long enough for me to hop on behind him and strap my helmet on. We ride away and I don't even look to see if the Bitch is watching me go. We reach the Clark's estate and Alexander drives straight to the main house. Ten's bike is nowhere to be seen.
“He's gone back to the city,” Alexander tells me. “There's some big parties he wanted to attend and he thought that we didn't really need him. ”
“Oh, okay,” is all I manage to say. I've got mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I'm kinda happy he's gone because . . . well there's stuff, cuddling stuff, Alexander and I can't do when Ten's around but then, on the other hand, I'm a little sad too. I like having my buddy around and I was eager to meet the person that put that dreamy smile on his face.
“Before he left, he showed me how the hot tub works, I really liked it in there the other night. I thought we should do it again but just the two of us. ”
“I really liked it too,” I say. “I had never been in the tub during the colder months. It's delicious to stay neck deep in scalding water while it's cold out. ”
“Yes it’s very decadent to watch the steam come up and be so warm. That may be another thing on my purchase list when I’ve finally made it. ”
“Let me guess. Will the first thing you’ll get be a grand piano?”
“No, first I need to get the home in which to put the piano. The first thing I’ll do when I’ll have money is to buy a roof to go over my head,” he says. He grins and adds “Then I’ll get a bed and then a piano and possibly a hot tub. ”
There was another perk to out bathing the other night, I got a better look at Alexander's body. He's a bit more squarely built than Ten but they have a similar swimmer's body. I know Ten trains with his university swimming team. I have no clue how Alexander keeps such an amazing shape.
It was cute to see Alexander in one of Ten’s bathing suits that evening. Bathing suit . . . I didn't bring one this time. Before I even think about it, I protest, “We can't, I don't have a suit. ”
He looks at me as if my answer is the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. I'm pretty sure I'm turning crimson red because my cheeks feel really very warm right now. Okay, I can do without a bathing suit. I'm trying to remember what underwear I have put on this morning and realize that the stuff I'm wearing is so old and washed out that I will feel less self conscious without anything than in my undies. How weird am I?
“I won't be wearing anything either,” he says with a grin. “Come on, let’s get this show on the road. ”
After dropping that bomb in my mind he takes my hand and start walking towards the house. Am I ready for this? I’m not sure anymore. We walk into the big house and drop our stuff in the main room that overlooks the deck where the hottub is located. I look around the room and think that it’s not in too bad a shape for a place in which two guys have been left to their own devices with no one to remind them they need to clean up.
He removes his jacket and kicks his boots off before he hops on the couch and holds his arms out to me. I do the same and cuddle on the couch next to him. He massages my shoulders and I purr. “Ahhh, this is heaven. ”
“My Mum used to give me great back rubs,” he says. “She would go on for hours. Andy and I were very spoiled that way. ”
“Andy is your elder brother?” I ask.
“Yes. I told you he’s a cop in the city. He’s always wanted to be a police officer. Mum and I used to call him officer Andrew when we wanted to tease him. Officer Andrew’s favorite thing is foot massages. That’s what he loved best so that’s what she did for him. ”
I know his mom’s gone and that he was raised by an uncle. He’s the man who owns the bar he works in. He never mentions a father. I would like to know more about his mom and his family but I’m not brave enough to ask because I can see that it’s bittersweet for him to talk about her.
“What about you?” he asks. “Surely you have some positive memories with your mother, no?”
“No. None at all. ” My tone is clipped, almost aggressive. I can see from the look in his eyes that he’s not going to let it go. Very few persons know how evil and cruel she truly is behind the respectable façade she puts on for the world. I want to let it go and talk about something else but he seems to want to get to the bottom of this.
I think about it and stand up straighter pulling away from him. The magic is gone. I guess it will not come back unless I make him see that she’s something I don’t even want to talk about. The power she has over my life even when she's not there unsettles me. “You really want to know?”
“I want to know everything about you. ”
I close my eyes because I don't want to see a look of pity on his face as I begin to tell him one of my most telling horror stories. “When I was ten, on my way back from school I found a kitten in the street. I could not resist the little ball of fur. ”
“Right, nothing's cuter than a kitten,” he says.
“So I picked her up and brought her home. For two days I kept it in my room, I sneaked up some food from the kitchen, made a kitty litter with a shoe box and sand I brought from the beach. . . ” I take a deep breath and continue. “On the third day, when I got home from school, the Bitch was in my room, sitting on my bed with the kitten on her lap. The little baby was purring away. ” My voice is shaking but now I need to get the rest of the story out. I give him a short version. “She drowned it in the kitchen sink. She had waited for me to get home to do it because she made me watch. ”
There's a look o
f disbelief on his face and he's about to say something so I put two fingers on his lips to silence him.
“I cried for days and the Bitch patiently waited for me to stop crying before going for her second kill. That's when she told me that it was all my fault. If I had left the lost kitten on the side of the street, it would still be alive. It could have found its mother and be kept safe, it could have been adopted by someone else walking down the road and brought to a cat loving family . . . If the kitten was dead it was because I had not listened to her. I had brought a pet home while I knew she did not want a pet. So the kitten's death was on me. ” I shudder and look into Alexander's eyes and I see compassion. My fingers are still on his mouth he kisses them and then pulls me back in his arms.
He holds me tight and says, “Don’t you see it's a load of bull? You’re not really responsible. I mean, there were so many other things she could have done. She could have looked for another family for the kitten. If she did not want to be bothered, she could have brought it to the ASPCA shelter in the next town. She could even have made you take it to the pound or she could even have tossed it out back on the street. She didn't have to kill it, make you watch, and then make you feel guilty. That’s on her, not on you. ”
Alexander is rocking me gently and his tender gesture doesn't open a floodgate. I will not cry again over the kitten or over the tortured child that I was. “Maybe,” I say. “Maybe you’re right but you know, I still feel it's my fault and I'm responsible. ”
“I'm sorry, Love. Now let’s get you in a more cheerful mood,” he says. “Do you want to eat now or should be try the hot bubbles?”
“I’m not really hungry yet. ” The answer has come spontaneously out of my mouth before I took anytime to think and as he says, “Hot tub it is then. ” I realize I’m going to have to undress and I feel very self-conscious. It's not only that I'm going to be without clothes but also the fact that, without Ten around, if one of the Clark's family member was to drop in unexpectedly it would look like we're trespassing.
As if reading my mind, again, Alexander says, “Before he left Ten spoke to his grandfather in Acapulco and checked with his parents. We really have the house to ourselves tonight. Ten's locked the bungalow so I’ll sleep in his old room. Do you know that his room is larger than my entire studio in the city? I could get used to living like this. ”
“Well give it a few months and you'll be able to, Mister Super Star,” I say while he's fumbling with his belt. I gather all my courage and quickly unhook my bra under my T-shirt so I will be able to remove both at the same time. I open my jeans and get ready to push them down with my panties.
I raise my eyes to him before doing it and see that he’s already naked. My eyes remain on his face. He smiles at me and says, “I’ll go get towels now so we don’t freeze when we get out. ”
As he walks toward the bathroom I tear my clothes away and let everything drop to the floor. I rush to open the sliding doors and step on the deck. Wow, it's a lot colder out here. I have goose pimples all over. In two seconds the tip of my breasts have turned into red skittles. I push the hot tub cover away and step down in the water. It is scalding hot. I fumble with the command buttons on the side and find the timer for the bubbles. Within seconds the mechanism starts and the surface of the water is covered with bubbles and foam. It’s silly, but now that the water is no longer transparent I don’t feel as naked.
Alexander arrives a couple of minutes later with large towels that he drops on the deck by the steps. He's scrumptious to look at. He jumps in next to me and moans like it’s the most delicious thing ever. He's a warm water guy. He sits down across from me. There's a little ledge that serves as a bench and runs around the tub at half height. He looks at me without saying anything and then moves over to the center of the tub. He kneels in front of me putting his arms around my waist.
This is perfect. I think I could stay like this forever.
“I’ll show you something even better,” he says. Did I speak out loud again? He shifts position at the bottom of the tub and pulls me on his lap.
I snuggle against him as he's caressing my hair and then he raises my head with a knuckle under my chin and slants his mouth over mine. I open my lips and melt. Again. He's got this magic power to turn me into some sort of liquid state. My head spins. I feel dizzy and I lean into him.
He threads his fingers in my hair and pulls his lips away from mine for an instant to tell me, “If you'll let me I will keep you safe. It would make me feel ten feet tall if you would let me take care of you. ”
***
CHAPTER SEVEN
I love that he wants to take care of me. I want to believe that he means what he says. I know better however. For now, it's nothing more than a dream. He's going on tour next week and I'm going back to my sucky life of school and diner's shifts.
“You don't believe me, Love, do you?” Alexander asks.
“I know you mean it,” I tell him “but there's the logistics of life. ”
“What do you mean?”
“I'm eighteen. You're what? Twenty and change?”
He nods and smiles when I say, “Technically I just stopped qualifying as jailbait. ” I run my fingers in his hair. “I want to finish school and you want to go on tour. You'll have to wait until I’m done here to become my knight in shinning armor. For now, you have swept me of my feet but you're not going to carry me away into the sunset. ”
“You're right, it's not going to be this sunset but give me a little credit, I will not vanish. I'm yours to keep. ”
I'm about to kiss him when he adds, “So I've swept you of your feet,” with a delicious grin.
“What do you think?” I snap going in full sarcasm mode, “I'm sitting on your lap naked and kissing you like there's no tomorrow. ”
He kisses me again and his hands slide from the top of my shoulders to the small of my back and then further down to my buttock. His hands come back up and cup my breasts and I'm swimming in lust. There's a need inside me that I have never felt before and it's eating me alive. I hold on to him for balance with my hands on his shoulders.
“You wanna know what I think? I think that I want you so bad that if you'll let me I will make love to you all through the New Year. Will you let me?”
My eyes riveted in his, I nod.
“Say it,” Alexander growls. “Tell me you want me. I need to hear you say it. I need to be sure this is what you want because if I start there will be no going back, you'll be mine for good. ”
“Yes, this is what I want,” I whisper, “I want you to be my first. I want you to show me, I need more of you. ” Alexander lifts me from his lap and gently moves us until we're kneeling face to face. His upper torso is out of the water but he seems oblivious to the cold.
“No one, no one ever before,” he says. It's not a question. It's an affirmation. It's like he needs to say it aloud, like it's the most amazing thing that ever happened to him. He'll be the first. He's looking at me as if I'm the most attractive girl on earth and for an instant I think that maybe I am. For sure I'm the luckiest. A lusty creature has taken over in my head. She's locked all negative thoughts in a closet in the back of my mind and I can barely hear them banging against the door.
Time is standing still as we look into each other's eyes drinking up each other's soul. I repeat after him “No one, no one ever before . . . and I wish for no one, no one ever after. ”
That undoes him. His hands move from my waist to my back and he pulls me closer. I can feel his need is matching mine and, when he kisses me again, I close my eyes to savor the sensation and can't help but moan in his mouth. He slides a hand to the apex of my legs and as he explores the fold, my eyes fly open in wonder at the sensation. He pulls back a little and studies the expression on my face looking for clues to adapt his caress to my needs. His touch has created a ball of fire that is overtaking me.
“Can you tell me what you feel?” he asks.
I'm panting. The sensation is so new and
so incredible, I'm at a loss for words. I tell him the first image that comes to my mind. “I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, I have this irresistible urge to jump but I don't know how. ”
“I'll show you, Love,” he says. And he does.
I let him push me over the edge and instead of free falling, I fly. I fly away so high I never want it to stop. When it does stop, Alexander is there to catch me and he cradles me in his arm until I catch my breath and then he starts again but this time it’s not his hands that enter me.
He goes very slowly to give me time to adjust. His eyes are closed and his face is a mask of concentration. Every time he gets a little deeper my breath catches. I know he’s fully in me when he raises his open his eyes and looks at me. “How do you feel?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” I say. I’m not sure if I really am. I feel very stretched and it’s strange.
“Fine’s not good enough,” he says as he pulls out slowly and then back in again. I shudder and he asks, “better?”
I nod. I’m not sure I can speak right now. He smiles and quickens the pace. I close my eyes and I surrender totally to him. He’s a part of me now and we merge in the most marvelous sunburst.
He holds me without moving while we both catch our breath and then he slowly pulls out and gets out of the water. He wraps himself in a towel and opens another one for me to snuggle into as I get out. He pulls the winter cover over the hot tub and we both run back in the house and into what used to be Ten's room before he moved to the bungalow. We dive under the thick quilt of his tiny bed and warm up in each other's arms.
“How do you feel?” Alexander asks again.
“Happy, a little bit sore and worried. ”
“Why worried?”
“Because we did not use any protection,” I say.
Alexander laughs. “Yes, I thought about it but I did not see how I was going to put a condom in the tub. Also, I think the water was too hot for any of my swimmers to survive, so you shouldn’t worry, we're good. ”
