Lost Love

by Maryse Dawson

  Isabel's cheeks were flushed with exertion. "I hath missed this so much. I feel so free!"

  A few moments later, Arabella reined her horse in and waited for Isabel to do the same. She allowed her mount to plod slowly next to Isabel's whilst she spoke to her. "Isabel, I hath not been fully truthful with thee. I mean to escape Terryn, so I will not be riding back with thee."

  Isabel's face fell. "What dost thou mean?"

  "I am leaving my husband."

  "Thou cannot!" she exclaimed. "Where willst thou go? What will thy husband say?"

  "I care not, Isabel. I do not hath the time to explain all to thee, just know that I am truly sorry for leaving thee like this." With a swift kick to her horse's flanks, she was off. She glanced over her shoulder to see Isabel staring after her, her mouth open with shock. It was the truth. She was sorry to leave her on her own, but the track back to the castle was clearly marked. She could not get lost. As for herself, she needed to get as far away as possible from the main track to avoid being captured by Fendrel or her husband. Her head down, she urged her mount onwards.

  John and Justin met up with Isabel only a few yards from the castle walls. She was upset, sniffling quietly. Justin quickly dismounted and pulled her down into his arms. "My love, what ails thee? Hast thou been harmed?"

  John watched them through heavily lidded eyes, not surprised to see she was alone.

  "Nay, milord. I am just a little disillusioned."

  John interrupted. "Where is my wife? Did she ride with thee?"

  Isabel looked over to him. "Aye, milord. It was her idea to ride out, but I had no idea that she would abandon me. She said she was leaving Terryn."

  "Did she now?" John cursed under his breath. "Dost thou know which direction she took? Was it South?"

  "Aye."

  As he thought, she was heading home. He spoke quickly to Justin, "Take Isabel into the castle. I will seek out my wife and return anon."

  "Aye, good luck my friend."

  Kicking his horse into a gallop, he headed off towards the South, Fendrel and his two knights in tow.

  * * *

  Two hours later, Arabella stopped by a stream to refresh herself. She dismounted and led her horse over to the edge, so it could have a drink. Shaking its mane, it happily lowered its head and began to suck in the cooling water.

  Arabella sat down on a boulder, next to the stream, and took off her boots and socks. Her feet were hot, and it felt heavenly to expose them to the fresh air. She wiggled her toes and closed her eyes. Oh, that felt lovely. She glanced around at her surroundings. She had travelled quite far, but her home was still three days ride ahead. She hadn't come as prepared as she would have liked, for everything had happened so quickly. She had no food, but at least she now had water. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her leather bottle before paddling into the stream and filling it with the fresh liquid. She took a large draught before refilling it to the brink. She smacked her lips together and glanced at her horse. She was standing on the bank, munching grass, without a care in the world. Arabella smiled. If there was such a thing as reincarnation, she'd like to come back as a horse.

  Suddenly, her horse raised its head and pricked up its ears. Arabella stopped breathing. Please, Lord, don't let them have caught up with her already. Surely not? She listened intently. Sure enough, she could hear the beat of several hooves, heading right in her direction. God's Bones! She had no time to put her boots back on. Instead, she kicked them behind a boulder, along with her socks, grabbed her horse's reins, and quickly led her behind the thicket. She stayed stock still and gently stroked her horse's nose to calm her and keep her quiet.

  To her dismay, she saw John, Fendrel, and two knights arrive. They were only yards from her. John and Fendrel dismounted and walked over to the water's edge, examining the ground.

  "A horse has definitely been here recently, milord," said Fendrel.

  "Aye, and we know whose." John had hold of one of her boots. Damn! "She was here," he spat. His face was full of anger. She shivered. If he got hold of her, there was no telling what he would do. Mind you, she had a good idea! She felt sick. Her horse shifted a little, and she whispered soothing words to calm it. It snorted softly, and John's horse whinnied in response. Arabella held her breath, her eyes wide. Please, Lord, he wouldn't notice! It was not to be. John's eyes immediately shifted from his horse, to the dense thicket where his horse was staring, and he began walking straight towards her.

  There was no way he wouldn't find her, so without hesitation, Arabella leapt on her horse's back and kicked it straight into a gallop. It responded instantly. She heard John shout her name, but she ignored him. She had to get away. She just had to. She kept her head down and urged her mount faster and faster.

  John was beside himself with anger. His wife was totally without discipline. She was wayward to the point of madness. When he got hold of her, he was going to make certain she never did this again. She had to learn to obey him, and by hook or by crook, she would.

  He ordered Fendrel to flank her on the right side, whilst he moved in on the left. Her horse was fast, but not as fast as their big stallions. Reaching forward, he grabbed her reins. She slapped at his hands, but it made no difference. Between the two of them, they brought her horse to a standstill within minutes. She struggled and tried to kick out at them.

  "Arabella! Desist!" John ordered, but she was akin to a wild woman. "Fendrel, take hold of her horse."

  Fendrel took control, whilst John grabbed Arabella straight off her mount and plonked her in front of him on his saddle. She struggled like a fury, but he bound his strong arms around her, imprisoning her—but that didn't stop her. She tried knocking her head against him and kicking his shins.

  "By the rood, Arabella! I am warning thee!" He struggled to hold her down.

  "Let go of me!" she shrieked. To say she was angry would be an understatement. He had never seen her so vexed.

  He took one arm off her, to steady his horse that was becoming agitated, and Arabella immediately took the opportunity to elbow him in the side. He gasped. "Right, enough is enough! I warned thee!"

  With a bit of difficulty, he dismounted, bringing his struggling errant wife with him. She was cursing loudly in between shrieking like a banshee. He manhandled her over to a boulder, and, as he sat down, he pulled her straight over his lap. For propriety's sake, he kept her skirts down, but his hand laid into her backside with big swinging strikes.

  "Get off me! I hate thee!" she cried loudly.

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  "Behave, Arabella! This is no way for thee to act! Thee will show me some respect!" Smack! Smack! Smack!

  "Respect! Ha! What dost thou understand?"

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  He administered several more swats, before she finally stopped kicking and lay resigned over his lap.

  "If I release thee, willst thou promise to behave?"

  She nodded, and he finally allowed her up off his lap, but kept a firm hold on her wrist. "Now we will return to the castle, whereupon, thee will apologize to Lady Isabel for using her so abominably. And then, I am going to give thee such a thrashing, that thee will never disobey me again. Dost thou understand?"

  She looked at him sullenly, and then at the ground, before nodding.

  "Oh, and thee will also apologize to Fendrel for thy behaviour."

  She gasped and shot Fendrel an exasperated look. "Wherefore!"

  "Two reasons. One because I said so, and the other because he is there for thy protection. He searched high and low for thee, so thou hast wasted his time."

  "He is not there for my protection; he is there to watch my every move!" she retorted.

  "Either way…thee will apologize." His look was fierce, and she knew that if she didn't comply, then her backside was in for an even bigger roasting than it was already. Slumping her shoulders, she walked over to Fendrel and told him she was sorry. Her eyes belied her words, but Fendrel didn't seem concerned. He nodded politely and
looked away. John mounted his horse and held his hand out to her. "Arabella, come hither."

  Reluctantly, she walked over to him. In one swift move, he had her seated in front of him, his strong arm around her waist holding her steady. They rode back to the castle without saying another word.

  * * *

  Inside the great hall, Isabel was calmly playing a game of chess with Justin. They looked up when John and Arabella entered. Justin's eyes were full of incrimination towards Arabella. Isabel's held pity. Arabella felt ashamed. Mayhap she shouldn't have used Isabel for her own gain, but trapped in such a marriage, wouldn't Isabel have done the same?

  She felt John's hand on the small of her back, propelling her forward. "Thou hast something to say to Isabel, dost thou not?"

  She stepped forward and approached Isabel. "I am sorry for my behaviour today, Isabel. Prithee forgive me."

  Isabel's face softened. "Of course, Arabella. Thou had thy reasons and 'tis not for me to question them."

  She was too forgiving. Would that she could have such a forgiving nature as her. She had a feeling Justin was still looking at her with disapproval, and she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze. Instead, she sat down behind a pillar, just out of his vision.

  "Arabella, I wish to speak to thee above stairs," John stated.

  She licked her lips nervously and planted her hands beneath her thighs. "Wherefore?"

  "Do not question my orders again, Arabella." John didn't look happy with her. His frown was fierce, and her stomach flipped nervously. "The two of us are going to hath a discussion. If thou dost wish to hath it herewith, then by all means, I will accommodate thee." His look spoke volumes.

  She gave him a disgruntled look, knowing what his discussion would entail. She shifted in her seat. If she argued further, then her punishment would be longer, and it would be witnessed by everyone. With a slump to her shoulders, she arose from the seat and followed him to their chamber.

  * * *

  John strode behind his wife, whilst she made her way to their bed chamber. She had behaved badly today on many fronts. Questioning his authority in the presence of a guest was one of them. She was his wife and should obey him in all things. His lips thinned with anger. She had so much to learn.

  She walked into their chamber and predictably placed herself on the other side of the room. He casually shrugged off his doublet and threw it on a chair, before rolling up his shirt sleeves in preparation for her spanking. He glanced in her direction, to find her eyes darting about the room seeking escape. But it was futile. He intended to make her rue her actions today and think twice before acting so again!

  Swiftly he moved towards her. She backed herself into the corner and placed her hands against the wall.

  "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, milady. What is it to be?"

  She glared at him. "This is unfair!"

  "Nay, 'tis not." He took hold of her wrist and began to pull her forward, but she resisted.

  "Nay, prithee husband hast thou not punished me enough?"

  "If thou art talking about thy earlier spanking, then nay, that was not nearly enough." He waggled his finger in her face. "What thee did today was wrong on several accounts. Not only did thee involve one of our guests in thy quest to escape, but thee also questioned my authority in front of them. So nay, I hath not punished thee properly, but rest assured I will!"

  He pulled her straight out of the corner and threw her face down over his lap when he sat on the edge of the bed. Without preamble, he threw her skirts over her head, revealing her rosy pink bottom—so ripe for a good spanking.

  She kicked her legs and threw her hand around to try and stop him, but he slapped it away, capturing her thighs with his own. He lay his hand flat across her cheeks and caressed the silky soft skin. "Thou will never escape me, Arabella, and each time thee dost try, I will spank this pretty backside of thine until thee see reason."

  His raised his hand and brought it crashing down on both cheeks at once. The flesh jiggled beneath his palm, and he was rewarded with a loud shriek from his wife. Again and again his hand rose and fell, the slaps reverberating around the chamber, intermingling with Arabella's cries and whimpers for him to cease. But he heeded her not. She needed a sound spanking and that is exactly what she was going to get.

  * * *

  Arabella's bottom was heating up like a furnace. Each stroke became more and more painful. Why had she tried to escape him? She should have known better. His big, powerful hand bit into her backside, creating wave upon wave of pain. She jolted forward with each impact and begged him to stop, but he carried on, scolding and lecturing her in between swats.

  "Prithee, milord, I hath learned my lesson! Truly!"

  Smack! Smack! Smack!

  "I will decide when I think thou art contrite, milady." Smack! Smack! Smack! "And we are a long way off yet!"

  He laid into her bottom with renewed vigor, until Arabella could hardly think straight. Her moans and cries did nothing to deter him. Her bottom blazed, and just when she thought she could take no more, he finally stopped. She lay panting over his lap, her mind befuddled. He pulled her up and sat her on his lap. She sucked in a breath and winced. "Oh, that hurts!"

  "Good! It is well deserved. Now, we are going to go back down, and thee are going to put on a brave face in front of our guests. Dost thou understand?"

  She nodded miserably. "Aye."

  "And when we eat, thee will sit on a hard chair with no cushion."

  "Milord!"

  "It is part of thy punishment, milady." He captured her face with one large hand. "Do not complain, for I will hath no hesitation in throwing thy skirts up and administering a sound spanking in front of our guests. The choice is thine!"

  He released her face and hoisted her onto the bed next to him. "I will go on ahead, to give thee time to compose thyself. If thou dost not appear in ten minutes, woe betide thee!"

  When he had gone, Arabella lay face down on the bed and punched the pillows. The man was a tyrant! Why was it her fate to be married to such a domineering man? She buried her face in the coverlet and thumped the bed angrily, vowing one day she would indeed escape him.

  Chapter Six

  Four months later…

  "Pack enough clothing for a week's journey, for we depart for Arnscroft within the hour," John declared to his wife. He had just finished getting dressed, and she was watching him whilst lying in bed.

  Arabella's eyes widened. "Thou art taking me home?"

  He fixed her with a stare. "Nay, milady. Thy home is herewith. We will visit with thy father, and thee can tell him of thy impending motherhood."

  She fiddled with the ribbons on her nightgown. Her pregnancy had been confirmed with the castle physician only yester eve, and already John sought to tell her father. "He will not welcome thee when he finds out who thou truly art! He will seek to annul our marriage!"

  "Nay, milady. He will do no such thing."

  "What makes thee so certain?"

  "For if our marriage is annulled, thy child will be a bastard. No father would wish that upon his grandchild, or bring such shame upon his daughter."

  "It would not be a bastard, because we are married!" she protested.

  "Not if I reveal my true identity to the priest. I married under a false name—therefore, in the eyes of the law, we are not truly married. Thy child will come into this world a bastard, should thy father choose to reveal my birth name."

  Arabella paled. She would not wish that upon her unborn child.

  John continued, "Besides which, I wouldst never allow it. Thee doth carry my legitimate child, and I will take care to ensure that does not change."

  "What if thee cannot stop him?" she stated quietly.

  "He will not say a word. He loves thee too much."

  "Thou seem so certain."

  He walked up to the side of her bed, and placing a hand on her chin, he made her look at him. "Naught he can say or do will take thee and my child away from me."


  Arabella frowned. His look was fierce. It was almost as though he wanted to keep her by his side, yet she would have thought leaving her with a false marriage and a bastard child would have been a great revenge for him. Mayhap his heart was not as black as he made out.

  Her spirits rose. It would be so lovely to see her father again, and visit her old home. He would certainly be mad when he found out about Ulric, but with a new life coming into the world, mayhap he would mellow.

  John covered her lips with his, demanding she respond. She did so without hesitation, her heart fluttering in her breast. He slowly released her and looked deep into her eyes. "I will send Esme up to aid thy packing. I wish to leave within the hour."

  When he had gone, she placed a hand on her slightly rounded abdomen, wondering what the future held for her and her child. She hoped her father would see reason.

  * * *

  Three days later…

  It was late evening when Arabella rode into Arnscroft Castle alongside her husband. She was sorely tired from their long journey and needed rest. Brom had given permission for the drawbridge to be raised. He came down himself, to greet them in the inner bailey.

  "Milady, Arabella!" He grinned at her. Seeing his obvious joy, she felt a tear slip down her face. It was so wondrous to see him. Brom turned to John and nodded. "Milord. I hope thy journey was without mishap."

  "Aye. Is Lord Dufour within?"

  "Aye. Let my lads see to thy horses, and I will settle thee in. Dost thou intend to stay long?"

  "A few days."

  Brom was staring at him oddly. Arabella wondered if he already recognised him, not as John of Terryn, but as Ulric, for he was without his beard. He glanced at Arabella, his face puzzled, but she refrained from telling him the truth. She wanted to see her father first.

  John dismounted and leaving his horse in Brom's care, walked over to aid Arabella. She dropped down into his arms, fully expecting him to let her go. Instead, he entwined his arm around her waist and guided her towards the keep. Brom quickly caught up with them, just as Arabella's father made an appearance. "Arabella!" He opened his arms, and she ran straight into them. "Oh, how I hath missed thee!" He hugged her tightly, and she revelled in the warmth of his embrace. She felt his cheek against her hair. "It hath been too long, my beloved daughter."