Connected

by A. E. Murphy

  We’re driving for twenty minutes before we make it to his grandfather’s house. I glare up at the building that became my home whilst I was pregnant. Nathan, sensing my anger towards the place, guides me to the boot of his car and opens it.

  “Here, put these on.” He hands me a pair of dark brown walking boots.

  Grinning from ear to ear, I slip off my pumps and grab the still packaged socks from the boot. After sliding them on, followed by the boots and tying the laces, I jump a few times to test their comfort and lean up to kiss Nathan’s jaw. He turns his head at the wrong moment and I end up with my lips against the corner of his mouth.

  His hand immediately goes to my elbow and his eyes close slowly.

  The hand that I have flat against his chest tingles with the feel of his heartbeat picking up speed beneath it. I smile and pull back, using my thumb to wipe away the shimmering gloss that my lips left behind.

  Clearing his throat, he grabs a bag and throws it over his shoulder. It looks almost empty.

  “Let’s go.” He takes my hand and pulls me towards the woods. Considering it’s only spring, the sun is really beating down on us today. Fortunately it’s coupled with a nice, cool and gentle breeze.

  We walk in silence for a while through the thick trees. Nathan, obviously knowing this place like the back of his hand, leads me easily around the bushes and through the trees. It’s not until I see the huge clearing full of thigh-high length grass that I start freaking out.

  He steps into it, not realising I’ve stopped until the hand holding mine pulls him backwards.

  I stare at the grass and then look at him wide-eyed. “This is where the demon rats with red eyes almost got me and feasted on my flesh.”

  He blinks, shakes his head and laughs. “What?”

  “I came out here for a walk when I was pregnant. Do you know how many critters are probably hiding in this long grass, just waiting for suckers like us to walk through?” I whisper, just in case they can hear me. The last thing I want is for them to know that I know their plan.

  “Really?” He tries to keep a straight face but fails. “It’s just grass.”

  “And sand is just sand,” I retort, my brow quirking. “I’m not going in there. Let’s go around.”

  He grabs me before I can walk away. “It’ll take an extra hour to get around all of this.”

  “Well let’s just stay here then.” I stamp my foot on the ground, my nerves getting the better of me.

  “Is it weird that I’m enjoying this? It’s nice knowing I’m not the only weird one.” He chuckles and drops the bag that was on his back to the ground. Then he crouches in front of me and holds his arms out behind him. “Up.”

  “What?” My body moves me back a step without permission, but I’m not entirely sure what he’s doing.

  “Come on, we haven’t got all day.”

  “You want me to get on your back?” Why is this so hard to believe? I clearly remember Nathan carrying me around when I was pregnant, not on his back but in his arms. Usually when I fell asleep downstairs.

  “Yes.”

  “But I’m heavy.”

  “Gwen…” His tone is warning. I sigh and place my hands on his shoulders.

  I squeal and almost pull away when he slides his hands up my thighs, lifting my dress out of the way before picking me up with ease. My arms automatically wrap around his strong neck.

  Swooping down, he grabs the bag and hands it to me. I grip it tight in front of his chest as my thighs grip tight to his hips.

  “I was hoping the first time I’d get your legs around me, it’d be in a different position,” Nathan comments crudely, his lips tipping up in a smirk.

  What the hell do I say to that?

  Nothing. I grab his nipple with my free hand and twist.

  “Carrying you through demon grass here. If you hurt me, we’re both going down.”

  Good point.

  “Are you sure you can carry me all the way across there?” The distance looks daunting, like in a scary movie where the hallway just seems to get longer and longer. That’s how I feel right now.

  “Too late to go back now.” He bunks me up a little and gives my legs a squeeze.

  I am so glad I shaved my legs.

  It takes a while and I can tell Nathan is getting tired by the time we pass the burned barn, which makes me feel sick and want to kill something.

  “You burned the barn down didn’t you?” I ask.

  He blows out a breath and squeezes my legs tighter to me. “Yes.”

  I lean forward and press my lips to the shell of his ear for a long moment. My voice is a whisper when I tell him, “I would have done the same.”

  “Stop talking.” He says it softly, kindly, almost pleadingly.

  I kiss him again and press my forehead against the back of his head. “Okay.”

  When we reach the edge of the grass I immediately drop to my feet and rub his back as he stretches. He grins, remaining silent as he takes the bag from me and pulls me forward.

  “So, what’s going on with your jewellery?” I ask, stepping over a fallen log.

  He shrugs. “I just haven’t put much thought into it as of late.”

  “That’s a shame. I was planning on raiding your store when it opened.” I give him an honest smile and touch my bare neck. I miss my necklace.

  “They aren’t that good.”

  “The fact that I know you believe that to be true just goes to show what an idiot you can be some times.” I roll my eyes with my words and he smiles.

  “You’re too sweet, Gwen.”

  “I’m not saying it to be sweet, Nathan. I’m saying it because it’s true. You have serious talent and you’re wasting it every moment you’re not showing it off.”

  “Hmm,” he murmurs, still walking.

  Now I’m out of things to say.

  “Are we nearly there yet?” I ask, although it’s not because I’m not enjoying myself. I am. This place is beautiful in the spring, what with all of the blossoms scattered across the hard dirt ground after floating in a flurry from the trees around us. It’s almost surreal.

  “Nearly,” he says absently.

  I go quiet again. I see that he needs to concentrate.

  “Finally, I forgot which side it was on for a moment,” he says, scratching his head for a moment. Reaching forward, he pulls on something hidden by thick moss. “Look up.”

  I do and what I see makes me gasp. “A tree house?”

  A boyish grin comes over his face. “I found it when I was small. It’s well built. I’m assuming it belonged to my grandfather when he was a child; this land belonged to his father before him. My family apparently owned the entire village at one point, but back then it was nothing but trees and rocks. It should be safe. I came out here a few weeks back to check it out.”

  Should be?

  There’s a rattling noise when whatever he’s pulled on releases a sturdy looking wooden ladder that drops to the ground. It’s when he moves away that I notice the rope leading from the platform above to some strange wooden lever that is nailed into the thick tree.

  “You go first,” he says and guides me to the ladder. “Don’t worry, it’s clean.”

  “I thought I could smell bleach,” I mumble but I don’t think he hears me. Using my hands at head level, I test the strength of the ladder before taking that first step.

  When I go up onto the third, Nathan follows directly behind, his head level with my shoulders and his hands either side of my ribs. I feel his chest against my back. It distracts me but I manage to not fall.

  When I finally climb over the top, I look around in surprise. This is not what I expected. It looks like a very small living room that you’d imagine a troll would live in. There’s no couch, but the far corner has pillows placed carefully on the polished wood floor. The walls are painted grey; the paint is peeling in places but that’s to be expected.

  I was expecting it to look like the inside of a shed. Instead it’s like a li
ttle boys’ dream. There are shelves with torches, matches, little tool kits and a few old toys. A trunk sits by the pillows and there’s a radio on an upturned bin. Other than that it’s clean and empty.

  “Wow,” I say as I stand to full height, moving out of the way so Nathan can climb up after me.

  I have to duck under the rope attached to the ceiling and ladder as I make my way over to the trunk. My curiosity gets the better of me.

  “Don’t open that,” Nathan says, placing his hand on the curved top. “Not yet.”

  “Why didn’t you ever bring me here when I lived here?”

  “Could you have climbed the ladder in your condition?” Point well made. He looks around, his lips pinched together. I wonder if he’s embarrassed. I’m about to tell him he shouldn’t be, but he starts talking and I’m not sure whether or not I like what I hear. “This was my safe place.” He sits on the pillows, patting the spot beside him. It’s then that I notice the window opposite is longer than the rest. I imagine at one point you’d have been able to see above the trees. This tree is a lot larger and a hell of a lot wider than all of the others, but they’re quickly catching up in size. All I can see through the window is the green leaves and pink blossoms of the closest tree.

  I’m amazed this place has survived for so long. Surely the tree it sits upon should have crushed it by now as it grew? It just seems to have grown around it more than anything.

  “Safe place?”

  “Yes, I learned to kind of…” he waves his hand in the air as if searching for the right word, “sense when my grandfather would be in one of those moods. I’d come here.”

  I gulp, keeping my eyes straight ahead and keeping my emotions bottled. He needs me to listen, not to interfere and start crying all over him.

  He continues. “He’d leave me alone, but I’d have to go down eventually.”

  The thought of a small boy cowering in the corner with nothing but a torch and his gloves for comfort almost breaks me.

  “My safe place.” He raises his hands. “The only place in the world I could truly be myself.”

  Still silent, I place my hand over his between us and rest my head on his shoulder.

  “I haven’t been here since I was about twelve.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugs, his cheek against the top of my head. “That’s when it stopped.”

  Six years… for six years he went through that alone. “What made him stop?”

  “I got too strong for him.” Do I really want to hear this? No, I don’t, but he needs to tell his story and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up on him. “For a while I didn’t fight back. It became normal.” He gives a little laugh. “And then I learned sex education in school. I knew what sex was, but for some reason I never put two and two together. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what we were doing was bad and I hated it. I hated the pain, I hated… I just hated it.” He lets out a breath and shudders. “But I never truly realised what it was we were doing. I’m not making any sense, am I?”

  “You actually are.” This is all I say as I want him to continue.

  “I fought back. I probably could have fought back before then, but like I said, I didn’t know that I should. He was shocked that I’d pushed him to the ground when I usually made it so easy for him. We never spoke about it, not until the day he died.” His eyes narrow and his lips form a sneer. “He apologised. He actually had the gall to ask me for my forgiveness.”

  Holy crap. “Did you give it to him?”

  “I told him to rot in hell.”

  “I hope that’s exactly what he’s doing,” I sneer with him. “Why didn’t you tell anybody? Your mum? Your dad?” He gives me a look that answers my question. I’ve met his parents, but do I really believe they’d have allowed something like this to go on? No matter how cruel they are I believe they would have done something. It’d ruin them if Nathan started telling people. None of it makes sense. “Caleb?”

  “By the time Caleb was old enough to understand, the attacks had stopped.”

  “How is it that not one single person suspected a thing? Your mum must have known something was wrong. It’s not like you’re a ray of sunshine,” I snap, but I’m not angry at him. I’m angry at the situation.

  He snorts. “Thanks, I find you pleasant too.”

  “You know what I mean,” I mumble, feeling ashamed at my tactless outburst. “I’m sorry, I’m just… it makes me so angry knowing you’ve been through that alone.”

  Almost chocolate brown eyes shimmer with a look I’ve never seen from him before. It holds so much love and possibly hope. “I have you now… right?”

  This time when I press my lips to his jaw, I don’t miss. “Yes.”

  His hand runs through my hair as I tip my head back to look at him. Giving me a soft smile, he says, “That’s enough story time for today.”

  “Okay,” I agree, not wanting to push him, especially so soon after promising him I wouldn’t. “So, this is my surprise?”

  He licks his lower lip and shrugs. “Half of it. I promised you you’d know all of my secrets.” He grins and pats the cushions around him. “This is my biggest secret of all.”

  “The one that nobody knows but you.”

  “And now you.”

  “So.” I move so I’m on my knees facing him. Bouncing excitedly I demand, “What’s my other surprise?”

  “Patience.”

  “I have none.”

  His smile is blinding. I was worried for a moment that our deep conversation would spoil his mood. It hasn’t; nor has it affected mine. I’m sad about it, obviously, but I’m more grateful that he’s trusting me with this. “One of the many things I love about you.”

  “You can list the rest, I won’t mind listening to them,” I jest, moving my aching legs from beneath me and sitting cross legged instead.

  This new position gives Nathan the perfect opportunity to grab my legs by the ankles and pull them over his thighs. His strong hands grab my hips and a gasp escapes me when he pulls me towards him. My dress stays behind, pulling far up my thighs. Any further and my knickers will be on show.

  Nathan notices and instantly his eyes heat.

  “I think you have the best legs I’ve ever seen,” he states, his hands resting on my bent knees. Thumbs touch the inside of my thighs as his fingers splay across the top and outside. He pushes forward slowly, his leather gloves making tingles shoot straight down to my core.

  God, that feels good.

  We both watch what he’s doing, both mesmerised by the feeling.

  My skin breaks out in tiny little goose bumps as he gets higher and higher, the tips of his fingers now only two inches away from the most sensitive area on my body; not just my core but the area around it, especially where my legs meet.

  When his fingertips lightly touch there, sliding my dress up further and exposing me to his view, a shuddering moan escapes me. He pulls away in an instant, his hands roaming up my sides before cupping my cheeks and tilting my head back.

  He smiles. “This is part of the surprise.”

  “Huh?” My brain can’t register anything right now. Please leave a message.

  “Perfect silence while we finally have that first kiss we’ve nearly had too many times to count, but never succeeded in getting.”

  Gulp.

  “It’s probably not the prettiest place, but it’s different. Memorable.”

  Now I see what he’s trying to do. He’s competing with his brother in a weird backwards way.

  I look at him, wanting him to just kiss me but needing to reassure him first. “If it had been in the car in the driveway, or at the house, it still would have been memorable.” But I have to admit, I like this a lot.

  He doesn’t respond. Instead he moves forward and grips my neck with one hand while the other moves to my hip. I wet my lips in preparation, my body humming with excitement.

  The first thing I feel, that sends sharp spasms of pleasure down my spine, is his breath fanning over
my lips. My eyes want to close but I refuse to let them, mostly because his eyes are locked on mine and I swear, his pupils get larger and larger the closer he comes.

  Pulling me in tighter, my knees against his ribs, my chest against his, he lets out a sharp breath when my groin connects with him. I barely stifle a moan.

  A gentle hand brushes my fringe from my eyes and tucks my hair behind my ear. His face dips and his nose slides across mine. Soft lips barely brush my own before finally descending.

  I melt into him, my body sagging as his hand holds my head to his. He takes a deep breath through parted lips and then moves them against mine. His brow furrows and a guttural groan escapes him. I feel it vibrate through his chest and notice that it sounds desperate, painful even.

  His tongue teases my lips, asking them to open rather than demanding. I part them and meet it with my own. This time it’s my turn to moan in desperation.

  His lips are so soft and he tastes so good. Like Nathan, mint and coffee. It’s my new favourite flavour. I doubt I’ll ever get enough of it.

  I fist one hand in his shirt, keeping him close, and the other winds its way up the back of his neck and into his soft hair. He wraps his arm around my back and pushes his hips upwards as he pulls me tight to him. I’ve never felt anything like it. I ache all over, but mostly I feel empty and having him rub against me this way makes me want to sob at the emptiness below.

  He twists himself, moving to his knees without breaking our kiss. Slowly and gently he coaxes my body back onto the pillows, his arm holding me tight around the small of my back.

  A raspy breath leaves him when I part my legs and allow him to slide between. This time the entirety of his swelling length presses against me.

  Even more of his heat seeps into my body; I’m delirious with it.

  A jolt spikes through me, causing me to tense for a second in his hold when I feel his hand slide beneath the top of my dress and grasp my breast. My already tightening nipples solidify in a second. He brushes over it with the tip of his finger, before holding the full swell of my breast once more and massaging slowly with a strong hand.

  My head falls back and my eyes close as he continues to grind against me and rub me in the most perfect way. Using this opportunity to get to my exposed neck, he immediately licks a trail from the dip and up to my jaw before claiming my mouth again.