Not Sorry

by Ella Miles

  Owen raises an eyebrow. “Why would I let you in after you destroyed my property last time?”

  I fold my arms across my chest. “We need to talk. So, either let me in or go to a coffee shop or something with me so that we can talk.”

  “I have nothing else to say to you,” Owen says, trying to shut the door in my face.

  “I’m pregnant!” I shout at the last minute.

  The door slowly creeps back open, and Owen stares at me with narrow eyes. “And how is this my problem?”

  I close my eyes, trying to remain calm and be the bigger person. “Because I thought you might want to know that it’s yours.”

  He laughs like it is the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. “How do I know it’s mine? You’ve been with who knows how many men since me, and you were probably cheating with who knows how many men. It could be anyone’s.”

  My mouth drops a little at the shock of what he said. Of all the ways I imagined this conversation going, I didn’t imagine it going like this.

  “The baby is yours.”

  He laughs again. “I don’t believe you.” He starts to close the door again and says, “Don’t come back here again unless you are bringing brownies. That was the only thing you were ever good at anyway.”

  He slams the door shut in my face while I’m frozen at the door.

  I’m on my own. Owen doesn’t care. And I don’t know if that makes me incredibly happy or incredibly sad. I’m happy that I don’t ever have to see Owen again, but I’m incredibly sad that my child will grow up without a father. I know the feeling.

  But I do have to thank Owen for one thing. He just gave me an incredible idea and the motivation to make it happen.

  23

  Sean

  “What is going on?” Jamie asks. “You’re falling completely apart on me. Do I need to come into work to help you out for a bit?”

  “No. You need to stay right here on this couch, relaxing, like the doctor told you to,” I say as I rub her feet on my lap.

  “I don’t know if I can. I thought I was leaving my company in the hands of the best two people in the world, but one quit on me, and the other one is falling apart,” Jamie teases.

  “What do you mean, one quit?”

  “Olive quit. I’ve been expecting it for some time. Real estate and management have never been right for her. It’s one of the reasons I never gave her a raise. I was hoping it would motivate her enough to find something else.”

  “That’s not fair. Olive would have made a great manager,” I say.

  “I know that she would have. She just wouldn’t have been happy. She needs to find something that truly makes her happy on her own.”

  “Olive never left before because she felt like she owed you. She was trying to be loyal to you.”

  Jamie bites her lip as she thinks for a moment. “You might be right. But it all worked out in the end. I think the thought of having a baby finally pushed her to find something that truly makes her happy.”

  I nod. I wasn’t sure that Olive would leave. I thought she might stay and ask to open an office to run somewhere else. But she’s gone. And I can’t decide if it makes my life easier or harder.

  “You’re tickling me,” Jamie says, laughing, pulling her feet out of my lap.

  “Sorry,” I say, looking at her again.

  “Stop looking at me like that. You are freaking me out,” Jamie says.

  “Have you ever thought about us getting together again?”

  Jamie frowns and sits up on the couch with her feet on the floor. “Why would I think about that?”

  “Olive told me about what happened when we broke up. That it was all just a big misunderstanding. I didn’t really cheat on you.”

  Jamie bites her lip. “I knew you didn’t cheat on me.”

  “You mean, Olive told you?”

  “No, I mean, I knew when she showed me that message that it was from your mom.”

  “I don’t understand. Then, why did you break up with me?”

  “Because I wanted the white picket fence, the house, the baby. And you didn’t.”

  I frown. “I did, too. I always told you that I wanted to settle down, start a family, and have a normal life.”

  Jamie sighs. “Yes, you always told me that, but it isn’t what you wanted.”

  I shake my head. “It is what I wanted. It’s still what I want.”

  Jamie laughs. “I know you, Sean Burrows, better than you know yourself. You don’t want a suburban house, and you don’t want kids. I’m not even sure if you want a wife. You want adventure. You want someone who challenges you. You don’t want to settle down.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  Jamie sighs. “Then, tell me what you really want.” She folds her hands in her lap and gives me her full attention, like that is going to make me change my mind about how I feel.

  I open my mouth, but then I close it because I don’t know.

  “Tell me you want to fuck a hot blonde. Tell me you want a threesome. Tell me you want to travel the world and meet every woman you can in every city.”

  “I can’t.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m right about this, Sean.”

  Her phone buzzes, and she picks it up to read the text message she got.

  “Is that from Olive?” I ask.

  Jamie starts typing into her phone, responding to the message. “No.”

  I frown and sink back into the couch, wanting to hear any news about what Olive is doing now. How is the baby doing? Did she take Owen back?

  A slow smile creeps up on Jamie’s face. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

  “See what?” I ask.

  “That something is going on between you and Olive.”

  I stand up from the couch. “There was something going on.”

  She stands up, studying me, and then she points a finger at me. “Oh my God! You love her.”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, what are you doing here? Go get her.”

  I shake my head. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “How so?”

  “For one, she’s pregnant with another man’s baby.”

  “So?”

  “Didn’t you just give me some speech about how you and I couldn’t be together because you wanted babies, and I didn’t?”

  “Yes, but Olive is different.”

  “How?”

  “She wants the same things you do.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “You are frustrating, Jamie.”

  Jamie smiles. “I know. Now, get your ass out of my house, and go tell her that you love her.”

  “Five seconds ago, you told me that I should go have a threesome and that I might not even want to get married. Why would you want me to go tell Olive that I love her?”

  “Because you do love her.”

  I feel the steam coming out of my nostrils as I listen to Jamie.

  “Do you love Olive?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, that is all that matters. If you love her, then nothing else matters.”

  I pace back and forth in her room. Jamie is crazy.

  “Do you still love me?” Jamie asks.

  I stop pacing and look at her. “I love you, of course.”

  “But not like you love Olive,” Jamie finishes for me.

  I nod.

  She grins. “I knew it. Go! Get out of my house!”

  I grab my coat and start walking toward the door. Jamie is right. I don’t know what is going on with Olive. What she is doing or if she is trying to work things out with Owen, but the problem is, I still love her, and I will do anything to stay with her.

  “Where is Olive? Is she still at her apartment?” I ask Jamie.

  Jamie bites her lip.

  “What is it?”

  “She moved out.”

  “What’s her new address?”

  Jamie thinks for a moment. “I can’t tell you.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. �
�Why the hell not?”

  “Because it would be a betrayal of my friendship with her. And it’s more romantic this way. It will mean more to Olive if you took the time to find her.”

  “Jamie, just tell me.”

  “No,” she says with a giant smile on her face.

  I sigh. “You are the most frustrating woman in the world.”

  I walk to the door.

  “Where are you going?” Jamie asks.

  “To find Olive and win her back without your help.”

  I hear a cheer from Jamie as I leave.

  She’s right. I love Olive. I want Olive. I have no idea what our future together would look like, but I have to try to find her. Wherever she is. And I know that as much as Jamie wants to help me she won’t disrespect Olive’s wishes. She won’t tell me where Olive is.

  I immediately open my phone and call one of my assistants.

  “Hello Mr. Burrows,” my assistant says.

  “I need your help to find Olive. Call airlines. Call any relatives or friends of Olive’s that you can find. Do anything and everything you can to find her? Do you understand?”

  “Of course Mr. Burrows. I’ll get right on it,” she says.

  “No, get everyone on it. Now.”

  I end the call and then jump into my car and race to Olive’s apartment. Even though Jamie said that Olive moved I have to see for myself.

  It takes me twenty minutes to get to her apartment and the entire time all I can think is please be there. Or please let a neighbor know where she is.

  I pull my car over on the first available spot I can find and jump out to run inside her apartment building. I notice the no parking zone sign as soon jump out of my car but I don’t care. I need to see her as soon as possible. I’ll worry about my car later.

  I run up the stairs and to her apartment. I knock holding my breath that she is going to come to the door. I hear footsteps and my heart races faster. The door opens and woman that is double Olive’s age is standing in the doorway looking at me with annoyance.

  “Yes?” she says.

  I frown. “Is Olive here?” I ask hoping this woman is Olive’s mother or something, but I know without asking that she isn’t. She looks nothing like Olive.

  “There is no Olive here,” she says starting to close the door.

  I grab the door. “She lived here before you. Do you know where she went?”

  She glares at me. “Why the fuck would I know?”

  She slams the door shut this time before I have a chance to stop her.

  I run my hand through my hair. This is getting me nowhere but I have to keep trying.

  I run to the next door and knock furiously, hoping that a neighbor knows where she is. I don’t get an answer so I move to the next door. It opens almost immediately.

  “Do you know where your old neighbor Olive moved to?” I ask.

  The man frowns. “No idea.”

  I run to the next door and I get the same answer. I’m not going to find any answers here.

  I run down the stairs while I pull out my phone to call my assistant back, hoping that in the last twenty minutes she has found something, anything for me to go on.

  “Hello Mr. Burrows,” she says politely when she answers.

  “Do you have anything yet?” I snap.

  “No sir. I’m sorry. We will keep looking.”

  I end the call and run back to my car. But it is no longer there. Towed most likely.

  I don’t have time to deal with finding it though. I call an Uber and when it arrives I tell him to go to the airport. I should get my private jet ready but I have no idea where to have it go. So it seems silly to spend all of the money and time flying form place to place endlessly until I find her.

  But maybe if I just go to the airport she’ll still be there. Maybe she hasn’t left yet.

  But after searching the airport for half an hour I know she isn’t here. I try calling her but she doesn’t answer her phone.

  I stand in front of the ticket booth trying to figure it out. Where would a woman who has never traveled before go? Where would she go?

  I have no idea.

  I find myself in the ticket line inching closer to the front as I try to figure it out. When I get to the front the lady asks, “How can I help you?”

  I rub my neck. “I’m not sure.”

  She laughs.

  “I’m sorry. I should just go.”

  “Or you could buy a ticket to anywhere. Sometimes going somewhere is better than going nowhere.”

  I nod. “Where do you think I should go?”

  She thinks for a second. “Well Florida is nice this time or year. Same with California. We have cheap flights to Las Vegas and Houston going on right now. I always like NYC.”

  “Wait…What did you just say?”

  “I always like NYC.”

  “No, before that.”

  “We have cheap flights right now to Houston and Vegas.”

  I smile. Vegas.

  My phone buzzes and I see that it is from my assistant. I answer.

  “Yes.”

  “She’s here. In Vegas,” she says.

  I smile. “I know. I’ll be right there.”

  I end the call.

  “I’m going to Vegas.”

  24

  Olive

  One Week Earlier

  * * *

  I have three thousand dollars in my savings account. That’s it. That’s everything I have to survive on before I run out of money and end up back on the streets again.

  I don’t have a specific plan, other than I need to get the hell out of Chicago. And I’m going to find some way to make money along the way, hopefully with something that involves the only thing I’ve ever really loved doing. Baking.

  I sold everything that I could from my apartment, and everything I own is in a single suitcase. I’m doing this on my own. I didn’t even bring Milo with me. Keri is watching him until I get settled somewhere.

  I walk up to the airport counter, having no clue where I’m going.

  “Hi. May I help you?” the woman says from behind the counter.

  “Um…yes. I would like one ticket, please.”

  “To where?”

  “Anywhere but here.”

  She laughs. “That doesn’t really narrow it down for me.”

  “How about the cheapest flight to a decent-sized city?”

  The woman types into her computer. “How about Las Vegas? We have a flight that leaves in an hour.”

  I nod without thinking.

  Las Vegas is the last place I want to go. But then it might give me a chance to run into Sean again. And, as much as I have tried to get over him this past week, the thought of a chance encounter gets me more than a little excited.

  Present

  * * *

  I’ve spent a week in Las Vegas, and I haven’t had my chance encounter with Sean. Not that I was really expecting to run into him in a city with thousands of people, but I was hoping. It also helps that I walk by his office building every morning on my way to the small building that I got a loan to turn into a bakery.

  But, every morning, when I walk by his building, I think about going inside. I think about trying to talk to him.

  But I don’t. Not because I’m scared, but because I don’t want to destroy his life or make it more complicated.

  So, instead, I just walk by. It’s the best and worst part of my day. I love walking by his building. I get to think about Sean. I get to feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest again, and I get to know that there is a chance every day that the love of my life could come back into my life.

  But then, every day I walk past it, I know that chance is over.

  It’s torture really.

  I shouldn’t have bought a place in Las Vegas where I’m going to have to deal with thoughts of him every single day. But I couldn’t help it. It felt like destiny when I walked down the strip the first night I was in Las Vegas and found this tiny little space that wa
s available at the far end of the strip.

  In my wildest dreams, I didn’t think I could get a loan for the space, but I did. Now, the only thing between me and owning my own successful bakery is a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck.

  I suck in a breath as I walk past the last section of his building, like he is going to be waiting just around the corner for me. But, as I walk past the building, I know it’s another day where I won’t see him.

  I should change my walk from where the bus drops me off over a block so that I won’t have to walk past his building, but I just can’t force my legs to walk a different route. Maybe after I’ve been here a while, I will be able to walk in this city without thinking about Sean.

  I stop by my bakery shop to make sure the construction inside is going well. There isn’t much that needs to happen to the space to make my bakery a reality, but a few things are needed, like a basic counter, restroom, and new flooring, before I can start operating out of it. When I am confident that everything is going well, I glance at my watch and realize it’s time for my doctor’s appointment.

  I feel unsure about my appointment. Maybe because, once a doctor tells me I’m pregnant, then it is going to feel more real. Or maybe it’s because I’m going to the appointment alone.

  Keri and Jamie offered to go to my first appointment with me. But I turned them both down. It didn’t seem right to go with them. This is about my journey, and I’m going to be doing this alone. So, I might as well get used to it.

  I take an Uber to the doctor’s office, and then I walk into the building alone. I check in and then take a seat, trying to get excited about the possibility of seeing my baby on an ultrasound.

  I pull out my phone, planning on getting a head start on reading about what to expect while I’m pregnant since I have no idea what to do.

  “I’m sorry,” I hear a low voice next to me as someone bumps into me while taking a seat next to me.

  I frown. I can’t believe someone sat next to me when there are half a dozen empty seats in the waiting room.

  I look up to try to figure out a reason to move when I see Sean sitting next to me with a hint of a grin.