What Could Be (Everyday Love Book 1)

by Jaycee Weaver

  She’d felt so brave at the time having made the single hardest decision of her life up to that point. A huge part of her had wanted to forgive and forget, to keep with the plan and marry the guy of her dreams. The slight majority part of her knew that keeping in contact with him would be like leaving a campfire without dousing it completely and covering it with dirt—foolish and begging for reignition.

  Her heart rate eventually resumed its normal pace, and she was left to contemplate her next move. She had to decide whether to turn her cart the other direction and escape unseen, or take the risk and be bold and say hello. Glancing down at her standard outfit of jeans and cute but simple top, and knowing her hair was piled in a frizzy mass on top of her head, she shrugged. It wasn’t awful, though not what she’d have chosen if she’d been able to plan before running into her ex. She rolled her eyes heavenward and sent up a silent prayer.

  Apparently, God had a sense of humor and irony and wouldn’t be letting her make this decision. The very moment she opened her eyes, Aiden stepped around the corner. His eyes widened the instant he recognized her and his face lit with a smile, albeit an awkward one.

  “Well, hi, Brynn. Long time no see,” He shuffled his grip on the infant, leaned slightly and stumbled a little before regaining his footing, as if he’d intended to go in for a hug and then changed his mind.

  Brynn didn’t even know how to respond. Her mouth had gone dry and her legs felt like lead. It took her a few seconds to collect herself.

  “Hi, Aiden. It has been a long time. Who’s this little cutie?” her voice gentled in the instinctively higher tone she automatically defaulted to when addressing small children. She tentatively reached a hand out to tweak the baby’s toes.

  “This is Zaiden, my son. He’s ten months.” Aiden grinned like the proud papa he obviously was.

  “Wow! I hadn’t heard through the grapevine. That’s amazing. He’s adorable and has your hair,” Brynn noticed the boy also had his daddy’s eyes, but she didn’t want to go there.

  “Yeah, but he has most everything else of my wife. Including his temper, apparently,” he joked. “He’s teething, so I was trying to find the Orajel and teething tablets but it seems they’ve moved them.”

  “I think they’re two aisles that way,” Brynn pointed.

  Aiden gave her a look of confusion, as if wondering how she came to such knowledge. He was probably wondering if she had kids.

  “I had to pick some up a while ago for a family I babysit for sometimes.”

  He gave a nod of understanding and paused before looking into her eyes with a soft expression. How was she supposed to feel about all this?

  “How are you, Brynn? I’ve often wondered but I guess you blocked me on Facebook or something so I’ve never been able to check in and see how you are.”

  She shifted uncomfortably. He wasn’t going to beat around the bush, was he? She would never admit that she’d also tried social media-stalking him a little, but had indeed blocked him and never got up the nerve to unblock.

  “I, uh, don’t really do a whole lot on there these days. I switched majors to nursing and the course load is a lot more demanding. Plus, I run an educational collaborative full time so there’s not really a lot you’d find on there anyway.” She gave a hesitant smile. “How about you? A baby? I thought your plan was to wait awhile after grad school before all of that.”

  “It was, but I met Tara a couple years ago and it was just a God thing. Meeting her, I knew I had to get my act together and be better. And somewhere in there, God got a hold of my heart in a way I hadn’t let him before and he changed me. We got married pretty quickly and it wasn’t long before Zaiden here came along. I’m still in grad school and working too. Tara graduated last year and works from home now. It wasn’t my plan, but without a doubt I know it was God’s plan for me.”

  His face lit from within as he spoke, glancing down to his child who was now gnawing fairly contentedly on his own drool covered fist. Brynn waited for the stab of pain or waves of envy to hit. They didn’t. She didn’t pause to consider why that was. Instead, she met his gaze with a genuine smile.

  “That’s amazing. I’ve wondered how you were plenty of times, but after…well, I just never felt like it was the right time to reach out or anything. I’m glad to hear you’re happy.”

  “What about you?” he asked. “Nursing? You’re a born teacher! I can’t believe you changed your major like that. You’re probably pretty close to graduating, though, right?” he asked, switching the baby to his other hip and tossing his shaggy hair out of his face.

  “I took a year off school to figure things out, but I’m back on track and have a few semesters to go. I’ve actually been contemplating going back to Education after all, though.” Why did she just admit that? To Aiden, of all people.

  She rolled back on her heels and bounced on the balls of her feet with nervous energy. “Nursing is wonderful, and I really love it, but I’ve been feeling a pull to go back. If I do, it might add a little bit to my timeline but not enough to make me stay. I haven’t really committed yet, though.”

  For real, WHY am I telling him all this?

  “Well, not that my opinion matters on this, but I always thought you’d be an amazing teacher. I can see you as a nurse, I guess, but man. You were so passionate about teaching. You should follow your heart, and wherever God’s leading you, though. Keep praying about it—and then, seize the day.”

  Listening to Aiden talk about God and prayer like this was surreal. He’d been a believer, sure, but she’d always suspected it was more of a childhood custom than a part of who he was. He seemed so…different now.

  His telling her to pray about it was totally the one thing she’d always wished he would do when they were together. She wanted a husband who would be the spiritual head of their home. She suddenly recalled Josh telling her to pray over it and give it to God way back in the early fall. Hmmm.

  “Anyway,” he shuffled, his entire body language proclaiming his sudden uneasiness. “I feel like I need to tell you one more time how sorry I am for how things ended between us. I was such a selfish jerk, and I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I had so many opportunities to do the right thing, and I didn’t. I want you to know I’m not that person anymore and I sincerely hope you have forgiven me.”

  Another wave of peace washed over Brynn, like it had when she’d been praying the night before. She gazed at that sweet baby in his arms and then into his eyes, so familiar and yet so different. She smiled and nodded before softly replying, “I have.”

  Aiden looked relieved. Baby Zaiden started fussing and making precious but miserable faces and whimpers at his daddy, whose brow was now furrowed in sympathy. Instead of the heartbreak Brynn expected to feel, this tender father-son moment warmed her heart. The corners of her mouth lifted.

  “Well, guess I better go find that Orajel for this little monkey,” he paused, “but I’m really glad I ran into you, Brynn. I’m happy to know you’re doing well. Take care of yourself.”

  “I will, you too. And get him some infant ibuprofen, the dye-free kind. It’ll help to stay ahead of the pain, especially if he gets a fever.”

  With a nod, they turned away simultaneously, but Brynn snuck another glance at the pair before turning her cart to the grocery section across the store. A mournful little voice tried to creep in, “that should have been your baby.” But just as quickly, that thought was followed by a firm promise. NO. You’ve got your own beautiful things to come.

  For the first time in several years, Brynn felt like she could actually let Aiden completely go. She blew out a lungful of air and felt her belly quiver with excitement and hope. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined running into Aiden would be like this. It was exhilarating.

  Chapter 24

  Josh

  If he never had to deal with Skye again, it would be too soon. The woman could never seem to decide which holiday she wanted to spend with her son, and made so
many changes to their visitation schedule his head spun. Or rather, at the moment, he felt like a giant vice grip had been tightened between his ears and another around his neck.

  He swallowed a couple ibuprofen to hopefully ease his headache before he had to pick up the phone and call his mother. Originally, Josh should have had Brendan for the entire holiday week, except for Thanksgiving. The plan was that he would drop Brendan off tonight at her parents’ house for a sleepover, then Skye would have a Thanksgiving brunch with her son and parents. Then, she would drop Brendan off at Josh’s parents for their massive extended family celebration.

  But, no. Skye had a new boyfriend who planned to whisk her away on some extended weekend mini-vacay—her words—and now their son would be left to once again wonder why he came in second (third? fourth?) with his own mother. Skye now wanted to do dinner on Sunday night after she came home instead, that is, if she came home on time because Josh was fairly certain she’d end up calling Sunday morning to cancel. He’d have a disappointed little boy on his hands and now have to find some way to make it up to him.

  His mother picked up after only a couple rings, and Josh proceeded to vent his frustrations on her in rapid fire. He paused only when he heard her laughter.

  “You’re laughing, mom? Really?” He clenched and unclenched his fists as he tried to control his anger.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I’m not laughing ha-ha, I’m laughing as in, we could have predicted this because it’s not actually a surprise, is it? The woman is self-absorbed, and I hate to say it, but a complete flake. I feel more compassion for her parents, who have to miss out on precious time with their only grandson because of her whims.”

  “Exactly. I guess I could still take him over there for a sleepover or something.”

  “Yes, that would be a good idea. And then maybe take him somewhere special after you pick him up and head our way,” she suggested.

  “That’s a great idea. I’ll call Rich and Susan now and run it by them. What time again for tomorrow?”

  “You know there will be games on all day, so it doesn’t really matter when you get here.” He heard her shuffle the phone and the muffled sound of his sister’s voice in the background. “Jenna says to come early so she and Brendan can shoot hoops. But we eat at 3.”

  Ah yes, every other day of the year dinner was at 6 on the nose. But Thanksgiving was always served at 3 o’clock sharp so everyone could go back for seconds and thirds and have a few rounds of dessert in between for the rest of the night. He smiled to himself and felt the pressure in his head relieve significantly. His mother was a miracle worker, seriously.

  “And then, Grandpa made me this HUGE fort out of sheets! Well, it was kinda girly ‘cause Grandma only let us use her old flowery sheets from like a hundred years ago or something, but still! It was awesome,” Brendan’s cheerful voice rang through the otherwise quiet coffee shop.

  Josh looked down at his son, enjoying this little pit stop on what could have been a disappointing Thanksgiving morning for his boy. He lifted his cup and tasted the delicious rich flavor of the ultra-strong brew. Brendan had a comical hot chocolate mustache and had been recounting the fun he’d had with his other grandparents last night for the past 15 minutes straight. He was so glad Skye’s rescheduling didn’t seem to affect him. This time.

  The main door swung open wide and the late fall wind blew an icy blast into the small shop. A few napkins flew through the air and several customers placed hands on their belongings in protection.

  Josh looked up at the interruption and was met with the face of the woman who was quickly becoming one of his favorite people. His chest tightened at the sight of Brynn with her hair swirling around her, despite her attempts at containing the strands in her gloved hands. She had on her usual red wool coat and an oversized scarf wrapped around her neck, skinny jeans tucked into boots, and a ridiculous warm hat on her head—something he’d never seen her wear before. His mouth went dry and he swallowed a quick gulp of coffee so he could actually speak. Lordy, she was adorable.

  Her eyes roamed the shop with an apologetic expression before landing on him and suddenly those eyes went wide in unexpected recognition. She dropped her gaze to Brendan, who happened to see her at that second. The cocoa-lipped boy shot out of his seat like a rocket and rushed to throw his arms around her legs in his typical no-holds-barred hug. She crouched down to his level and returned the hug just as fiercely. The sight of her with his son in such a familial embrace made him wish for much, much more.

  And he was so grateful in that moment that she’d come through that door.

  The guilt of being a single parent with a frequently MIA ex never fully went away. And when that ex yet again let your kid down? The guilt magnified impossibly. As did the anger. But when someone you know without a doubt loves your child as much as your child loves them shows up, at exactly the perfect moment? Infinitely better. The tension and worry eased from Josh’s shoulders and he relaxed fully for the first time since Skye called to change plans.

  Brendan practically dragged Brynn by the hand back to their table. She looked so sweet with her red cheeks and wind-blown hair sticking out in crazy places.

  “Dad! Look who’s here! It’s Miss Brynn! Miss Brynn, are you here to have coffee and treats with us?!”

  Brynn laughed at his son’s excitement, as she often did. “Well, I was originally here to get some coffee and treats by myself, but I’m totally happy to have them with you instead, little mister!” She gave his belly button a playful poke with the last two words.

  She paused, as if she’d forgotten he was sitting there. She gave him a look for confirmation and acceptance before taking a seat. “That is, if it’s okay with your dad.”

  Josh grinned up at Brynn, because he couldn’t have done anything else if he’d tried.

  “Of course, it’s okay. More than okay. Perfect timing, in fact, since we’ve only been here a few minutes.”

  She removed her hat and gloves and set them on an extra chair before doing the same with her coat. She had on a long sleeve top that looked like a cross between a shirt and a dress that was snug in all the right places and perfectly matched that giant scarf. And Josh couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. Get a grip, man.

  “Have a seat and I’ll go get your drink. What’ll it be?” he asked, pushing his chair out to stand.

  “Oh, that’s all right. I’ll go get it. I always special order everything and it drives most people crazy. But I’d rather get exactly what I want than settle for something less!” She waved a dismissive hand with a smile that left him speechless. Nothing new there.

  She returned a few short minutes later with a caramel double shot skinny something or other with whip and a crumble-topped muffin. Josh resisted the urge to rise and pull out her chair. Best not. Too much like date behavior.

  They spent several minutes with Brendan again recounting his sleepover and sheet fort to Brynn, who gave her complete and undivided attention to his son. Josh shook off the uncomfortable sensation that felt an awful lot like jealously, and tried to listen to the tales as well.

  Brendan grew bored fairly quickly and decided to visit the kids’ corner that sported a child-level chalkboard and a metal bucket of colored chalk, a child-size table and chairs, and a nearby Lego table with a large bag of Legos attached underneath. Ah, the joys of distraction.

  “So, what brings you here on such a cold and windy Thanksgiving morning?” he asked.

  “Oh, I spent most of yesterday baking with my mom and needed to escape the kitchen for a little while today. Plus, my aunt and uncle and a couple cousins are coming over so that means cleaning bathrooms and I was hoping if I wasn’t home then Trey might actually have to do it for once,” she grinned conspiratorially with a playful waggle of her brows.

  “What about you guys?” she raised a chin nod in Brendan’s direction.

  “Oh, we’re going to my folks’ in a little while, but I wanted to take Brendan somewhere special for a bit after picking h
im up from his grandparents’ house. He was supposed to go to brunch with Skye and her parents this morning, but apparently, she and her new flavor of the month are taking a trip and had to reschedule. I didn’t want Brendan to feel disappointed, so, here we are.”

  Brynn frowned in disapproval, he hoped at Skye’s actions. She shook her head and released the hold she’d had on her paper cup. Were her hands shaking?

  “I don’t even have the words. Wait, I do. How in the world can she not see what an amazing little boy she has? How can she just go off on some adventure, and not even think twice about ditching such a precious gift? Ooh! That makes me so mad!” Her face pinked and her eyes widened in surprise at herself. Her hands clamped over her mouth as her eyes met his.

  He laughed, thinking back to her last similarly infuriated outburst. She looked away and took in a deep breath before peeking at him from the corners of her eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have shared such a strong opinion out loud like that. It’s totally NOT my business!”

  “Oh, no, I completely agree with your assessment. I mean, I’m biased, but he’s a pretty amazing little dude and I can’t understand her priorities either. I know hot cocoa can’t possibly make up for abandonment, but hey, I’m trying.”

  “You’re doing a great job, Josh,” she assured, placing her hand over his hand on the table and giving it a squeeze. Josh felt a crazy sensation at the contact and looked up to Brynn, whose expression revealed she must have felt it too. Oh man, he could swim in those wide, innocent, gray blue eyes.

  “Thanks,” he replied, not wanting to move his hand. “So, big plans for Black Friday weekend?”

  Her eyes widened and a mock expression of fear and disgust came over her face. She slyly withdrew her hand and pressed it to her chest. “I shudder at the thought! All that shopping! All those people! The horror!”