What Could Be (Everyday Love Book 1)

by Jaycee Weaver

  “Yeah, mom. I’m fine. I really am.” Josh leaned against the counter next to the sink and picked up a clean dish towel to help dry.

  “Brendan said you guys went to get coffee and play this morning.”

  “Yeah, we did. It was nice. I still wish I could get inside his head and know how he’s handling things with Skye.”

  “I know it’s a tough situation, but he seems to be accepting it all in stride. Honey, one of the things I’ve learned over the years is the blessing of ‘normal.’ Whatever environment a child grows up in, that becomes their ‘normal.’ While sometimes that can be, shall we say…less than optimal, it’s more often a blessing. Children don’t know it’s not ‘normal’ for a mother to be a selfish flake until they are much older and are exposed to other families. Right now, he has a stable and happy home with a father who adores him and two sets of grandparents who are happy to be with him as often as they can be. Not to mention his teacher adores him, as does his afterschool care teacher. Miss Brynn, right?”

  “Yes. She adores him and he, her.”

  “He mentioned that she was in the coffee shop this morning and sat with you both. How did that go?”

  She was examining the plate currently in her hands, scrubbing with slow movements. He could tell by the frequent glances out of the corners of her eyes that she was trying not to seem like she was prying, but wanted details.

  “She happened to walk in the door a few minutes behind us. Brendan, of course, invited her to sit with us and who was I to refuse?”

  “You’re the dad, you can always refuse. But I take it you had no reason to. Does your mood this afternoon have anything to do with your coffee date?”

  “It was not a date, mom. Brendan was there the whole time. But,” he paused, considering how to explain without being cornered into giving away too much. How did she always get him to spill his guts? Must be a secret mom superpower. “I wouldn’t have turned her away. She’s a really great girl and I can see why Brendan adores her.”

  His mother smiled at this. “Is he the only one?”

  Josh flopped his head all the way back and blew a heavy breath from puffed cheeks.

  “I don’t know, mom. There’s just something about her. We’ve sort of become friends, I guess? There’ve been a few really deep conversations here and there the past few months, and it’s…I don’t know…, easy? It’s like there’s none of that awkwardness of needing to impress the other person. We can just be ourselves and talk about anything.”

  “Anything?”

  “Yeah, it’s crazy. She’s told me about her ex, and school, and what she wants to do with her life. I told her about my past and my testimony and the whole thing with Skye—”

  “All of it?” his mom asked curiously, eyebrows lifted in surprise.

  “All of it.” His eyes looked at her pointedly.

  “Wow, I’m impressed. I worked you over pretty hard to get the details out of you over the years. You must really think she’s special.”

  He reflected a moment.

  “Yeah, she is. But the thing is, I don’t know if she’s available or even interested in me. And she’s only 22, mom. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m finally ready to jump into a real, honest, permanent kind of relationship, and the girl who makes me want to think about this stuff is twenty-two and still in college.”

  His voice had grown louder with each proclamation, and he hadn’t noticed that Jenna had slipped into the room.

  “Hey, big brother, sorry to overhear. I’d say eavesdrop, but you were getting pretty loud so it’s not like it was intentional,” she tossed him a cheesy grin.

  “Uh, hi Jenna.” His face flamed.

  “So, you’ve got a thing for a girl my age, huh? Does that make you a cradle robber or a dirty old man?”

  “Shut up, sis.”

  “Hey, now, you two,” his mother intervened, lightly thwacking them both with her dish towel.

  “Tell me about this girl, then. Is she as amazing as me?” Jenna raised her eyebrows and batted her lashes with big, exaggerated flutters and a teasing glint to her eyes.

  His mother looked at Jenna and laughed before turning her all-knowing eyes to Josh. “Yes, son, let’s hear it. If this girl has you this twisted up, then as your mother, I need to know if she’s worthy of my son.”

  He groaned loudly and glared at them both, knowing he wouldn’t last long against them double teaming him for information. He playfully rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and relented. They’d just badger him until he talked anyway.

  “Fine,” he huffed loudly like he had as a sullen teen. “As you know, she’s Brendan’s after school care teacher. Actually, she’s more than that. She runs the whole program there at the school.”

  He heard the pride in his own voice as he spoke. “She’s going to UNM, too. Being around her is like…I don’t know…magic or something. Everyone seems to love her. She’s friendly and kind, but you can tell it’s not fake. When she asks a question, you get the feeling she actually cares about the answer. When she’s talking about something she’s passionate about, her whole face lights up with excitement and she puts off this contagious energy that reels you in like a helpless fish.” Josh knew his face probably revealed how much she’d reeled him in, too.

  “She’s a Christian, teaches Sunday school, sings on the worship team—you should hear her sing, it’s incredible. And of course, she’s gorgeous, but in a completely wholesome and innocent way. And maybe that’s part of my problem. She actually IS innocent. And I’m obviously not. With my past failures and all the ways that I’ve messed up….” His eyes flicked away and focused on a spot on a distant wall.

  “Now hold it right there, son. You are forgiven. You are a new creation, and if God himself no longer sees your past, then for the right girl, it won’t even be an issue.” His mother used her firm lecturing voice and that made him smile sheepishly. He glanced over at her and almost laughed at her wide legged stance, arms crossed, and head tilted.

  “Mom’s right, Josh,” Jenna interjected. “And since I, too, am an innocent and gorgeous 22-year-old,” she grinned widely at him before continuing, “I think it’s safe to assume I have more to offer this conversation than just my wit and the fact I’m your sister and love you to pieces. Most of the time.”

  Jenna winked before continuing. “When you meet someone special and there’s that zing! that you don’t feel with anyone else, you don’t just ignore that. Sure, all of us have some ideals we’re looking for, but most of us Jesus girls know that God’s in charge and trust that when He brings us the man he’s created for us, we’ll be able to recognize him whether he’s what we expect or not.”

  “I sure hope you’re right, sis.” He leaned over and got a squeal out of her when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and gave her noogies.

  “Hey!” She gave him a silly exaggerated irritated frown then grinned up at him and reminded him of all the times growing up she gave him that same semi-annoyed smile. For a little sister, Jenna was pretty cool. Nah, she was awesome. Not that he’d ever tell her that.

  Chapter 27

  Josh’s family played games late into the night, the kids crashing out in the spare bedroom in the house his parents had dubbed the “grandkids’ room.” The holiday had been exactly what he’d needed. All the laughter and teasing, watching football while tossing insults, and eating too much reminded him of the many Thanksgivings they’d spent as kids.

  Jenna had dragged him off the couch at 3am to hit the Black Friday sales. He’d chuckled to himself recalling Brynn’s look of disgust at the thought. The brother-sister pair had had a blast together, though. They’d texted Jude and Missy and met up for breakfast and made a plan to go in together to upgrade their parents’ television and entertainment systems for Christmas. Josh and Jenna had tucked all the boxes away in his bedroom closet before running out to their next overcrowded stop. He’d loved hearing all about Jenna’s experiences at school while they waited in endless lines
and looked through picked-over displays.

  Josh sat in his bedroom Saturday morning while Brendan was still asleep, sorting his many purchases into piles by recipient. He was pleased with the deal he’d gotten at the art store on some high-quality natural-bristle brushes for Jenna and a set of oil pastels she’d gushed over. In addition to chipping in on the entertainment set-up for his parents, he’d found his mother a soft scarf and an assortment of flies for his dad’s tacklebox. He’d scored some amazing deals at the toy store on things for Brendan and his cousins, too.

  He mentally reviewed his list of who was left to buy for. Missy suggested they take the kids to one of those paint-your-own pottery places and do a handprint platter for the grandparents. While there, he’d have Brendan make something for the Woodses and Skye. On the other hand, maybe Skye would prefer something store-bought that catered to her high-maintenance tastes, he thought bitterly. Stop.

  Josh carefully tucked the bags containing Brendan’s gifts at the back of the closet, and pushed the other bags in front of them before shutting the door and dusting his hands off on his jeans.

  His phone vibrated in his front pocket with a text. It was Jude, confirming plans for tonight’s event. A few lines down in his messages app was Brynn’s name in bold letters. He wondered how her holiday had gone. His thumb hovered over the home button as he debated whether or not to text her and find out, but for some reason felt like he shouldn’t.

  When he made his way to Brendan’s room, he found his son playing with his action figures in the middle of his floor. He’d brought the step stool in from the bathroom, inverted the chairs from his Lego table, and pulled several other smallish pieces of furniture and boxes toward the middle of the room, arranged like the downtown of a city and the furnishings were the skyscrapers and buildings. The action figures were zooming through the air and tumbling across the roof tops to rescue a cluster of Lego people. Josh grinned and rapped his knuckles on the door frame.

  Brendan looked up and smiled at his father, his whole face brightening like a beacon of joy. Josh felt like the Grinch had in the moment he decided to return the toys—his heart had to have grown three sizes at the sight of his precious boy playing on the floor and cheesing that smile at him.

  “Hey, Dad! Wanna come play with me?”

  “Sure, bud,” Josh toed his way through the room to a space open just wide enough to sit cross legged and picked up an Iron Man. “Who are we saving today?”

  “This is the princess,” Brendan said, holding up a pale skinned Lego girl that must have come from one of his cousins’ sets. She had a long blonde high ponytail and huge blue eyes and reminded him, surprise, surprise, of Brynn. “We have to save her from this guy over here. He wants to marry her, but she thinks he’s gross.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, so the Avengers and the army guys are going to rescue her from the tower where he’s keeping her prisoner. She’s pretty tough and already tried to escape, but now she’s all chained up.”

  Josh noticed Brendan had built what looked like a cage or cell out of random pieces of his Legos. It was pretty well built, actually. The tower would look awesome when he finished it.

  “Okay, so how are we going to set her free?”

  Brendan went on to describe an elaborate plan for saving the princess and they spent the next hour or so blowing up imaginary things and crashing Lego towers to the ground in their many rescue attempts.

  Josh’s knees were stiff and his feet falling asleep when he stood to stretch.

  “All right, big guy. I think it’s time to shower and get ourselves ready for the rest of our day. While I get ready, you pack for your sleepover at Grammy’s. I’ll double check it when I’m finished.”

  “Okay, Dad. Will Aunt Jenna be there still?”

  “Yep, she leaves tomorrow morning.”

  “Yes! She likes to play with me like Miss Brynn does. I wish she could be here all the time!”

  Josh turned toward the kitchen for another round of coffee and stepped on one of the pointy little bricks that must have flown away from their mess during an explosion. He bit back a string of inappropriate words, which was not easy. Man, those little buggers were wicked underfoot.

  He felt another buzz of a text in his pocket, this one from Jenna. She wished him good luck with a thumbs-up emoji, followed by several ridiculous faces that made him chuckle. Thinking of tonight made him think of Brynn again, wishing she’d been the one joining him at the gala instead of Jude and Missy. Sure, he was glad to be able to give them a sorely needed night out, but it would have been nice to have had the lovely Brynn at his side all evening.

  Chapter 28

  The steady rhythm of dance music pulsed all around Josh as he leaned toward the server at the cash bar and raised his voice to order a beer. Unfortunately, they were stuck with the choices available through UNM’s strict contracts, so the selections were limited. He found one that seemed palatable and took a sip while surveying the ballroom.

  The event was looking to be a success, and Josh couldn’t be more pleased at the number of people in attendance. His gaze circled the crowded ballroom and landed on the event organizer, Suze Anaya. Suze was just a few years older, though she was about a foot shorter and weighed as much as he did. The extra weight didn’t detract from her beauty, though. She wasn’t a big woman, just rounded all over and curvy. Her husband, whose arm rested lovingly on her shoulders, didn’t seem to mind. The couple had twin 3-year-olds to keep them busy and Suze talked about them nearly as much as she did about the gala whenever they’d had their meetings.

  She was a pretty woman with olive skin and dark hair, tonight all twisted up with sparkling earrings dropping from her ears to just above her shoulders, sporting a snug, deep blue cocktail dress that bunched up all around the middle in different directions to make her look slimmer. It was classy and suited her completely. She reached up to plant a kiss on his cheek and then used the pad of her thumb to wipe off the bright red lipstick smudge she’d left behind.

  “So, what do you think? It looks good in here, ¿no? I am pleased with the number of tickets we sold for tonight. There is also a lot of activity at the silent auction! I am so happy!” He smiled at the expressive lilt in her heavy accent as she clapped her hands excitedly.

  “Yes,” his dimpled grin tilted up on one side, “it looks amazing. The turnout is fantastic.” He surveyed the room, his gaze assessing all of the attendees for familiar faces.

  “I am so proud of the job you did promoting this event. It was a lot of work, and I’m pleased with our partnership. I hope to work with you again for the foundation or museum.”

  “Me, too,” he agreed. “You worked hard and made my job all the easier.”

  “So, where is your date for this evening? I thought for sure you would be bringing a lady friend.”

  “No, no lady friend for me,” he gave a wry smile.

  “No? Have no fear. Let me introduce you around! A few of the ladies in my office have been asking about the hottie I’ve been working with.” Suze turned to her husband at that remark and added, “Not as hot as my hubby here, of course.”

  With that, she placed a red-lipped kiss to her naturally cheerful husband’s mouth. He then wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist and placed a gentle kiss just below her ear.

  Josh’s chest grew tighter with an ache that hadn’t dissipated in weeks. He wanted something like this, so much. Brynn’s lovely face entered his mind and he tried to push the thoughts aside so he could enjoy his evening. This long, long, dateless, Brynnless evening.

  It was long past midnight when Josh tossed his keys into the bowl on his hall table. He stifled a yawn and twisted his head at an angle to make it pop and release the tension he’d felt most of the night. He was grateful he hadn’t had to spend much time dancing. As a rule, he didn’t object to dancing. With a lovely woman whose company he enjoyed in his arms, dancing was pretty enjoyable. Tonight, though, he’d spent more time networking, nix that, s
chmoozing, and making business connections while simultaneously dodging Carly the Leech and several of Suze’s overly eager friends.

  He opened the refrigerator and searched the half empty shelves a moment before deciding against eating anything. He grabbed a cold bottle of water and tossed the cap into the trash before turning down the hall to his bedroom. Taking a large gulp from the water bottle in his left hand and loosening his tie with the right, he passed his son’s empty bedroom. At least Brendan would have had fun tonight. Jenna had assured him they’d have a blast, and Brendan’s excitement over a guaranteed wild-and-crazy aunt-nephew sleepover had tripled his enthusiasm instantly. Josh missed his son’s bright-eyed grin and bedtime hug.

  Finished with the water, he took care of the nightly bathroom business of brushing teeth and such, then dragged himself into bed. The gala had been a flawless success, but for some reason Josh was carrying around a heavy weight around his neck that prevented him from reveling in the satisfaction of a job well done.

  For a split second, he considered texting the object of his adoration, but a quick glance at the clock on his dresser nixed that idea. It took him a moment to remember he’d have church in the morning. A part of him thought about visiting Grace Springs for the chance to see Brynn, but that was probably not a good idea.

  No, he’d go to his usual service, sit in his usual spot with his family, pick up Brendan from Sunday school, and have lunch or dinner with his family or maybe some of the guys from church. With a nod, he resigned himself to his plans, set his alarm to wake for church, and snapped off the light. Sleep came quickly, thank God.

  Chapter 29

  Brynn

  Holy moly. What was she going to do?

  What was he thinking?

  How could he even think that this was the right time to do such a thing?

  What am I going to do?

  Brynn paced her bedroom in a circle, her arms folded but periodically flying out around her as she waved them in wide gestures talking out loud to herself in the middle of a freak out of epic proportions.