Fragile Love

by Mack Black

  I came out without a shirt on, popped open a beer and sat down on the couch to wait for her. When she emerged, I handed her another wine cooler. She took it, then sat beside me.

  Her eyes fell on me and she winked. "So, you wanna finish our game of truth or dare?"

  "If I recall correctly, it's your turn," she said, flipping her hair out of her face. She was dressed in a soft white shirt with a pair of spandex shorts that hugged her ass.

  "Truth or dare?" I asked.

  "Hmm. Truth."

  "If you could choose any celebrity to do it with, who would it be and why?" I asked.

  "Channing Tatum, and hello? Have you seen his abs?" She laughed, chugging half of her wine cooler.

  "Truth or dare, James?"

  "Dare."

  She thought for a moment, and her whole face brightened when she said, "I dare you to chug that entire beer in five seconds."

  I tipped the beer, inhaling it as she counted down. I barely finished it in time. I had a real good buzz going now, my earlier beers having kicked back in.

  "Truth or dare, Bella?" I asked, stretching out her name.

  "Dare."

  I’d hoped she’d said dare because I’d prepared this one ahead of time, I just didn’t know if she’d do it or not. "I dare you to go in the bathroom and send me a naughty pic." I beamed at her.

  She stood and crossed to the bathroom. A few minutes later my phone dinged. I opened it just as she walked out.

  I didn't know where she got the little outfit she had on, or if it was a picture that had already been saved in her phone, but I definitely appreciated it.

  "You did not just take that pic." I chuckled. "But I can't say I don't like it."

  "Good. You didn't say the picture had to be taken today. You just said go in the bathroom and send me a naughty pic," she clarified.

  "Touché."

  She sat down beside me again, leaning back. In this position her breasts stuck out, the material of her shirt stretched thin around them.

  "Truth or dare, James?"

  I thought for a moment, running over all the possibilities of dare in my mind. "Truth."

  "How many times have you imagined me in your bed?" she asked, kicking a foot up in the air and running it up my leg.

  "A million." I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

  She continued to stroke my leg with her foot, and another part of me started to wake up. "Truth or dare?"

  "Truth."

  There wasn't much I didn't know about her, so it limited the questions I could ask. "Have you ever been with a girl?" I asked.

  "Nope."

  I wanted to ask her another question, but my turn had ended.

  "Truth or dare?"

  "Dare," I said without even thinking.

  "I dare you to put on a little strip tease for me." She finished her wine cooler. "But keep it sexy."

  I stood, crossing the living room and flipping on the radio. I walked into my bedroom and slipped on a button up shirt because a strip tease wouldn't be much of a strip tease when I only had on gym shorts. Then I returned to the living room just as a new song came on.

  "James, I meant take the clothes off, not put them on," she teased.

  "All I had on was a pair of shorts with nothing underneath them," I said, unbuttoning my shirt. “What kind of striptease would that have made?” I swayed a little to the music as I undid the rest of the buttons.

  She bit her lip, gasping when I let the shirt fall down my arms as I flexed and tightened my abs. I threw the shirt at her, and she caught it easily, discarding it to the side.

  Before I could drop my shorts, she was on her knees in front of me. My massive erection jutted from my shorts, which were a little tight in the crotch area, making it hard to miss.

  Her hands ran up my leg, and I sucked in a quiet breath before she moved further up, ducking her fingers underneath the waist band.

  "Bella don't," I said, barely a whisper. I wanted her to pull them down so badly I could barely get the words out.

  A fight had started with my body and my mind. I wanted her right there, but it shouldn’t happen when we were both drunk and not thinking straight.

  "Why?" she asked, just as quiet as I had.

  "I stand by what I said earlier. We're drunk. I don't know if I can stop myself if this goes any further. I want our first time to be special. To be something I'll always remember." I stepped back, confidence surging through me. "We should probably go to bed now."

  She stood, discarding her white t-shirt and shrugging on my button up. She didn’t have a bra on, so I got a little glimpse of a part of Bella I’d never seen before.

  I groaned, turning around and forcing myself to look at anything but her. "You're making this very hard," I said between clenched teeth.

  Restraint and I were having a hard time coming to the same agreement. I had a feeling she was doing it all on purpose, too. So, I stepped towards the bedroom, coming to a halt when her arms wrapped around my waist, her hands roaming up my chest.

  "Maybe that's the intention." Her breath scalded my neck and sent shivers down my spine.

  I took another step, and another, pushing her away until I made it to my bed. My mind raced, begging me to turn around and have my way with her.

  I lowered myself onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and crossing my arms behind my head. Bella crawled into bed beside me, laying her head across my chest to listen to my racing heartbeat.

  "I know you want this as much as I do," she said, reaching down to grasp me in her hand. "Don't fight it, James."

  "Damn it Bella!" I growled. "You're making it very hard to be a gentleman."

  Her thumb started to stroke me through my shorts. "Being a gentleman never got anyone laid."

  I couldn't decide if I liked drunk Bella or not. She was very aggressive. I turned over on my side, creating a barrier with my back as I closed my eyes.

  "That's probably why I've never been laid," I said.

  What is it with this body? Women can't keep their hands off me. First the gym and now Bella. If only we weren't drunk.

  "Aren't drunken words just sober thoughts?" she asked. "That would mean you wouldn't have to feel guilty because it's what I really want."

  I sighed, so close to giving in to her it wasn't even funny. "Goodnight Bella. If you still feel this way tomorrow maybe…" I didn't bother to finish that sentence, I was pretty sure she got the picture.

  "Okay I'll stop. Just hold me already," she said, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

  You’ll thank me in the morning.

  I rolled over and drew her into my arms, holding her close. Her head rested on my chest and within minutes her eyes closed.

  That's it little flower. Sleep now. You're going to hate yourself in the morning.

  I woke to Bella sprawled across my chest. Her leg was wrapped up in mine, tangled up in the sheets. She looked so peaceful I couldn't help but watch her.

  When her eyes drifted open, she looked at me with a smile. "Good morning, sexy boyfriend of mine."

  "Good morning, beautiful little flower."

  She leaned up and pecked me on the lips before jumping out of bed and walking to the bathroom. I followed behind her and watched her in the mirror as we brushed our teeth.

  It felt domestic as hell, but I didn't mind it one bit. I didn't know if I was ready for her to move in or anything, but I did know in that moment, I didn’t mind the thought.

  I padded back to my room and got ready for the day. Then I walked into the kitchen and scrambled some eggs. Bella came in behind me and put toast in the toaster oven. Then she leaned against the counter and watched me in silence.

  For once, the silence didn't feel awkward, and I was happier than ever despite having resisted her all night.

  I was waiting for her to bring it up, unsure if she even remembered last night. The peace between us was bliss and I didn’t want to screw it up.

  "Walk me to work?" I asked, handing her a pla
te of food.

  "Of course," she said.

  We ate breakfast and tossed the plates in the sink before rushing out the door. I stood in the elevator beside her, my hands shaking because all I wanted to do was reach out and tug her close, planting my lips on hers. It was all I could think about. She glanced over at me, a smile lighting up her face.

  "Last night was fun," she said, leaving it at that and only that.

  Fun? It had been pure torture. I wondered if she remembered everything, but maybe she did and didn’t want to bring it all up.

  "It was fun," I said.

  The rest of the walk neither of us said anything. I held her hand until we reached the building I worked in.

  I turned, kissing her on the lips. "See you later?"

  "Of course. Have a good day at work," she answered, turning and skipping off.

  I couldn’t believe Bella didn’t have a hangover. I hadn’t even had as much to drink, but I’d woken with a headache.

  Around lunch, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I yanked it out and glanced around me to make sure nobody was watching. I wasn’t allowed to take personal calls at work, after all. When the coast was clear, I checked the screen.

  Bella: I won't be able to meet you after work today. My shoot is running long. I'll swing by tonight. -B

  I typed a reply and shoved my phone into my pocket. Just as I was about to leave for lunch, Elise walked up to my desk.

  "Are you and Bella a thing now?" she asked.

  "Wouldn't you like to know?" I countered, grabbing my things and walking away from her.

  "I really am sorry, James," she called out.

  It didn't matter to me. I’d been over it for a while now. I just didn't feel like giving her the satisfaction of knowing. Did that make me a jerk? I didn't really care.

  I made my way to the small bistro across the street, ate my lunch, and returned to work.

  The rest of the day passed by at lightning speed, with nothing eventful happening. By the time I got back to my apartment, I could only think about a long shower followed by a video game session. Since most of my time had been spent with Bella lately, I hadn’t played at all. I had a record to beat on Call of Duty, and I would start on that as soon as I got out of the shower.

  I undressed in my room, leaving my clothes on the floor and waltzing to the bathroom. I stayed in the shower longer than normal, lathering up twice with my favorite body wash. By the time I got out, my skin had pruned.

  I wrapped myself in a towel, heading back for my room and slipping into a pair of gym shorts. I didn't bother with a t-shirt because after such a long shower, my apartment had gotten a bit warm.

  Making my way to the couch, I flipped on my Xbox and sat down to get started on my game. My soldier ran around shooting people, and I was so immersed in the game I didn’t hear the knock on my door. Of course, the surround sound gun noises might’ve had something to do with it too.

  I didn't notice my door open, and I didn’t notice her walk in, but when Bella sat down beside me on the couch, I jumped in surprise.

  "I didn't know you were here," I said after I caught my breath.

  Forget the record, you just died because you weren't paying attention.

  "I noticed. I knocked for five minutes before finally just coming in," she said, smirking. "What are you playing?"

  "Call of Duty 2."

  She frowned, looking at the screen. "Are you supposed to die?"

  "No. I got distracted," I said.

  "I could leave?" she said, more a question than a statement.

  I jumped up and rushed to the TV, shutting it off. "Of course not."

  She patted the couch. "I could play with you."

  "Call of Duty? No. It's complicated. I do, however, have a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory game we could play. It's more of a girl’s game. We could take turns on levels."

  She frowned again, slapping me on the shoulder. "I can't believe you said that." Her tone had turned a bit angry.

  "What?"

  "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't play a video game. I'll have you know I used to play Halo with my cousins all the time."

  Yep, she was mad. Great job loser.

  "I didn't mean it like that. We can play Call of Duty if you want." I really didn't want to, but I also didn't want her mad.

  "Nope. Let's play the girly game. Just like you want."

  I laughed, rolling my eyes at her and stood to switch out the game. I handed her the controller and watched as her character chased a dollar through the streets. She was actually doing better than I thought she would. Maybe I’d been wrong.

  When she successfully retrieved the dollar, she handed the controller to me. I got to do the fun part, running around finding Oompa Loompas and candy.

  Halfway through it, I handed the controller back to her, letting her play for a while in this level. She handed the controller back to me when we got to the jelly bean stalks, and I navigated through the level with ease. I had already beaten this game sixteen times, so I knew the levels pretty well.

  Before I knew it, an hour had passed, and my stomach growled from all the candy on my TV screen.

  "Dinner?" I asked.

  "Sure," she said.

  I didn't have anything to cook, so I threw a shirt on and cut off the game. "Let's go out," I said. "I don't have much to cook."

  She grabbed her purse, walking out the door behind me.

  After dinner Bella walked me back to my apartment. When I unlocked the door, she stepped inside but didn't make a move past the door.

  "You still have two wine coolers left if you want them," I said, crossing to the fridge to grab a beer.

  "No. I shouldn't," she muttered.

  I popped the cap on my beer and put it to my lips. Before I could take a sip, she spoke again.

  "James, I…" she started.

  I set the beer down on the counter and walked over to her. "What is it?" I brushed her cheek with my fingertips, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

  "I was an idiot last night. I should’ve listened to you. I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that. How on earth did you manage to resist?"

  So, she did remember.

  "It was hard, but it's you. The girl who I waited six years to be with. What's another night?" I said, hoping it came out right. "I want it to be real. I want my first time to be special, not a drunken hook up."

  She leaned forward and kissed me. Then she rested her head on my chest with her arms wrapped around my waist. "Why couldn't I see all this time how perfect you were?"

  "I don't know Bella, but I'm glad you do now. All I ever wanted was a chance with you. Now that I've got it, I couldn't be happier. Don’t worry about last night."

  She wrenched away, pushing me against the door. "Stop being so nice! Get mad! I push, and you're supposed to push back, not sit here and take it! I was out of line last night and you couldn't be more kind about it."

  I had no idea what I did wrong, and maybe I never would, but I couldn’t wrap my head around going from zero to one hundred so fast. So, I just met her eyes. "What good does it do to get mad and start a fight?"

  "James, people walk all over you because you let them. I swore to myself I’d never do that, but just last night, I did, and I kept waiting for you to bring it up, but you were just going to pretend it didn't happen. Don't you see? Girls bully you because of this. Because it’s easy. Because you let them." Her words were clipped, and they made me even madder.

  Where did she get off saying those things to me? Those girls manipulated me. I didn’t allow them to, and I certainly never asked them to. Sure, I might be gullible enough to believe someone could love me. Sadly, it was hard for me to believe now. In fact, maybe Bella hadn’t really been giving me a chance? Maybe the whole time she’d been trying to teach me a lesson. How poetic would that be?

  "Get out," I said. I couldn’t deal with it tonight. Her words were cruel, and they cut me deep. I’d had enough. I didn’t even want to look at her
anymore, not when everything felt like a lie—like what happened with Elise was happening all over again. The last thing I wanted was a fight right now. I needed to process, to figure out if any of what we shared had been real.

  The breath rushed out of me in a shaky exhale, and I couldn’t pull any air back in. I wanted to throw something or hit something. Instead, I fell to the floor on my knees, pointing again towards the door. My hands grasped at air as I tried to find something to hold on to. Anything. I only found more air, so I closed my eyes and tried to force air down my throat, tried to calm my racing heart. I had no idea what could be happening to me, and it scared me to no end.

  Is this what a heart attack feels like?

  I clutched at my chest, feeling how fast my heart beat beneath my hand. My eyes went everywhere all at once, except on Bella. I wouldn’t look at her, even though I heard her calling my name, only it sounded far off, like it’d started miles away just to float to me as a whisper. My ears rang, a steady crescendo of noise threatening to drown me. My lungs constricted, tighter and tighter, and by that point, I gasped for air that just wouldn’t come. The room started to spin. I was hyperventilating…no doubt about it.

  Bella dropped down in front of me, shaking me hard. I kept pointing at the door, trying to get her to leave, but my body wouldn’t cooperate.

  She disappeared for a few moments, only to return holding a brown paper bag. Shoving it in my face, she ordered, “Breathe.”

  I took the bag and did as told, blowing into it and gulping everything I blew into it.

  "Take slower breaths." She rubbed my back, and it soothed me, calmed me.

  I still didn't understand what had happened, but my heart rate slowed along with my breathing, and the ringing in my ears had almost disappeared.

  "It's okay, James. You're okay." She pulled me into her arms and cradled me against the door. "Everything is going to be just fine. Just close your eyes and breathe."

  It took several more moments, but soon I felt normal again. I was afraid if I moved it would start all over again. So instead, I laid still and let her warmth surround me.