Nobody Else

by Jaxson Kidman

  That’s the kind of stuff that always got me into trouble in my life. Never looking beyond tomorrow to have a chance to think, plan, and settle. If the fire burned now, I took advantage of it. Someone else would probably come up with a plan to keep the fire burning as long as possible. Not me. I say throw as much on that fucking fire as you can and let it burn big, bright, and live in that moment until it was gone.

  I touched the zipper on Kinsley’s winter coat and slowly pulled it down.

  We just stared at each other.

  No matter what happened, we never got tired and bored of each other. Silence was never a bad thing. Because we could just look at each other and know the other person was there. That was all we needed. Each other’s existence. And love.

  The zipper popped free on the winter coat.

  “Turn around, love,” I whispered.

  Kinsley turned, and I stripped the coat off her. I stepped back and tossed the coat to the chair. My eyes were locked tightly onto her body in the sleek, black dress she wore. My hands balled up into fists, damn near jealous of anyone who got to see her in this dress. Or worse yet, that certain someone who may have taken it off her or watched her step into it and zipped it up for her…

  I gritted my teeth.

  I reminded myself that this was my moment.

  Kinsley turned her head and looked at me, biting her lip. She was seductive standing there, devouring me with her eyes as my body ached for her.

  I moved toward her, my hands sliding to her waist.

  “Wait a second,” she whispered.

  She moved, stepping out of her giant looking winter boots. She plopped down an inch and stood barefoot.

  My hands moved up an inch. I pulled her against me, letting her feel what the sight of her in the dress was doing to me. She put her head back to my chest and shut her eyes, letting out a long breath.

  “I’ve got you, love,” I whispered. “I’ve always got you.”

  “I know you do,” she whispered back.

  She lifted her left hand and dug her fingers into my hair. I stared over her shoulder down to her ample cleavage. A growl emerged from deep in my throat. My right hand inched up and cupped under the swell of her right breast. She let out the softest groan and that was all I could take.

  I moved my right hand all the way to her chin and gently turned her head.

  Her eyes popped open as I came down to steal a kiss.

  The moment our lips touched, her knees bent, and the kiss was short lived. I hurried to spin her around and I put my hands to the small of her back, driving her forward against me.

  She clawed at my face with a wild look in her eye.

  This time when I kissed her, there was no stopping either of us. The moment won, and we were on our way to more moments.

  So many more fucking moments.

  I made a swift move and swept my right hand under her legs and lifted her up. She let out a yell as she put her hands around my neck. I carried her to the bedroom, to my bed, and just stood there.

  We kissed so softly and slowly, tasting every bit of each other. I wanted to memorize her flirty tongue the way I used to do. I tasted her lips and let her nibble on my bottom lip. She loved doing that, thinking it turned me on. It didn’t do much, but the way she loved to do it… that turned me the fuck on.

  I swung Kinsley’s legs back down and put her on her feet. She stutter-stepped and I kept her from falling.

  Before she could speak a word, I turned her around and set my sights on the tiny, black zipper that kept that black dress on her body.

  I tugged at the zipper and exposed a few inches of her bare skin.

  I paused and inched forward, needing to kiss that spot.

  Kinsley reached for her hair and pulled it to the side, then held it there so I could kiss her.

  The second my lips touched her skin, I craved more. The addiction had never quieted, but kissing her made it scream louder than ever.

  My hand pulled at the zipper harder and faster. All the way down to where the curve of her ass began. My hands then touched her waist again as I began to draw a line kisses down her back. She shivered and wiggled, groaning as the tip of my tongue flicked against her spine a few times.

  I kissed back up her body and slipped my hands down the front of the dress, stripping it down her arms. Kinsley stood there with her hands at the side of the dress, wiggling her hips as she pushed it down. Her black panties were thinly laced, forcing me to grit my teeth one more time.

  My fingertips touched the lacy edges and I kissed her exposed right shoulder.

  I sucked in a breath and nuzzled my nose against her ear.

  I whispered one word to her.

  “Off.”

  She made the same move as she stepped out of her panties, leaving only a strapless bra in the way. One twist of my fingers and it popped free.

  I pressed myself against her nude body and eased my hands around the front of her. My right hand just below her breasts. My left hand almost instinctively moving to touch her scar.

  “Not fair,” she whispered.

  “What’s that, Kins?”

  “You’re dressed still. I want to feel you, Brice.”

  I laughed and backed away from her.

  As Kinsley turned to face me, ready to expose herself, I used one hand to rip my shirt off. I opened my jeans as my eyes looked at her from head to toe. Standing so perfectly beautiful. There was no woman like Kinsley in this world and there never would be. She was my one and only. My one shot and only chance to get this love, romance and forever thing figured out for good. Without her… everything in life would be second best.

  I stepped out of my jeans and closed right in on her.

  Her right hand touched me and wrapped around my thickness with a gentle tug as she groaned. I had to peel her hand away as I wanted our bodies together.

  I was ready to take her to bed one more time - whether forbidden or needed - but something caught my attention.

  As I touched her left hand and lifted it, I flicked at the diamond ring on her finger.

  “Oh, Brice… you know I’m not technically engaged…”

  “Technically there’s a ring on your finger. And technically, someone gave you that ring with intentions behind it…”

  “Brice…”

  I leaned down and kissed her. A deep and slow kiss. The kind you shared behind closed doors or maybe to embarrass your new bride as a first kiss at your wedding. My right hand touched the diamond ring on her left hand. I slowly started to twist and pull, easing the ring off her finger. I could handle a lot in this messy situation, but I couldn’t take her wearing this fucking ring any more than she already had. Because the truth and implication were so far apart…

  The ring popped free and Kinsley let out a little gasp.

  We broke the kiss, and both of us looked at me holding it. It almost looked like I was the one giving her the ring. Her finger was hooked ever so slightly. Me holding the ring near her fingertip.

  But believe me, this wouldn’t be the way I’d do it.

  If you ever get the chance to do it…

  I flicked the ring like the butt of a cigarette.

  Kinsley dug the nails of her right hand into my arm.

  She looked at me and was ready to say something, but I didn’t give her the chance.

  She was mine… even if it was only for the moment.

  She scratched hard enough at me that a tingling pain surged up and down my back. I groaned as I kissed down her neck, demanding the taste of her chest. As my mouth slid over her left breast, she arched her back some more, giving herself to me. I thrust between her legs, feeling her body welcoming me, clenching with a teasing squeeze. My teeth playfully tugged at her nipple, pulling away with a kissing sound.

  Kinsley moved her hands for my back and put them over her head. Her eyes were shut, back arched, her breasts moving with the way I loved the rest of her. My hands touched her breasts and moved down, feeling and memorizing all the beautiful cur
ves that made her a real woman. My right hand touched her scar as I thrust harder, holding right there. Kinsley’s heels dug into the back of my legs. Her body tense as she rocked her hips, sighing while begging for more.

  I inched down and nuzzled my nose against her right nipple.

  I lowered my body all the way down to hers and began to love her again.

  We stared at each other, our breaths heavy, noises mixing together. She wrestled her arms and hands between us so she could touch my face. A few times she inched up and gently kissed my lips.

  My right hand moved down her body, around to her ass. I held her and moved with more speed.

  “Yes,” she purred. Her eyes shut for a few seconds. “Yes, Brice, right there…”

  Her lips made an O shape as she whimpered.

  I stayed with her, guiding her to the edge.

  It was a sense of proof that she had been saving herself for me again.

  As she reached that edge, I stayed with her, gently loving her body, putting enough space between our bodies to let her move as she wanted to. Her lips quivered but only for a few seconds before I stole more greedy kisses. I kissed her faster, harder, slowly letting that feeling work down through my body. My hands slipped from her perfect, curved body as I made fists around the sheets on my bed. I drove forward with force, my body slamming against her inner thighs. Kinsley let out a cry and gasped for a deep breath.

  When she exhaled, it was with a loud Yes and I made the same move again.

  My mind shifted gears from loving Kinsley’s sweet and precious body to just taking what I wanted. The wildest urges inside me raging forward as I moved with more speed and more force. As I did so, her hands moved to my shoulders and she pulled herself forward, stuck between breaths and groans of pleasure. When she managed to get close enough to my lips, she bit and whimpered. I shook her away and kissed her once again. I hurried to slip my right hand to her back and held her there.

  “Yes, Brice,” she said into my mouth. “Don’t slow down. Don’t stop.”

  “I’m not stopping, love,” I said. “I’ll never fucking stop.”

  We devoured each other once again as the sudden rush worked its way through my body.

  I had no chance to ease myself back and slow it down.

  Plus, I didn’t want to.

  I wanted all of her right then and that’s what I was going to get.

  With my last thrust, Kinsley bit my bottom lip one more time.

  It was the exact thing I needed as the feeling of relief went from my body to hers. She pumped her beautiful hips in unison with me until I drove myself down and stayed there.

  With our hearts pumping fast and our minds spinning like crazy, we softly kissed each other as the moment calmed.

  My fingertips touched her body.

  She scratched my back, just like she always used to do when we were finished having each other.

  It was almost like stepping back in time for a moment.

  I moved away from her and she moved to her side, looking as radiant as ever.

  “You’ll never see what I see, Kins,” I whispered.

  “I know,” Kinsley said. “You always used to say that to me.”

  I touched her hip and squeezed gently right at her bone. It was a super ticklish spot for her. She jumped and rolled to her back. She didn’t try for a second to hide herself either. She was just there… completely exposed to me… my Kinsley… the only woman…

  “I’ll always say that to you,” I said.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said.

  “Why don’t we sleep out in front of the fire?” I asked. “Just you and me.”

  “Who says I’m staying the night?”

  I was taken aback. “Oh… yeah. I didn’t mean to imply…”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “Fine. I did.” I leaned forward and fell back down to the bed. My hands caught my fall as Kinsley gasped. “I want you here tonight and here forever. You know that already.”

  “I know,” she whispered. She touched my chest. “Why don’t you go set up a bed for us out there?”

  “Are you sleeping naked?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.

  Kinsley laughed. “I brought clothes.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you knew…”

  “Shut up, Brice.”

  “Right,” I said.

  “I’m stealing a shirt though,” she said. “That’s what I’ll sleep in.”

  “Deal,” I said.

  I bent my arms and kissed her.

  I grabbed my jeans off the floor and stepped into them as I opened the top drawer of my dresser. I pulled out a t-shirt and threw it back at Kinsley. I went to the closet and got a bunch of blankets and pillows.

  I couldn’t believe it, but I was nervous.

  Setting up the bed of blankets in front of the fireplace made me nervous. To be near Kinsley. To hold her. To spend the night with her. Maybe because the last time, I woke up and she was gone. And she stayed away long enough to have Ben give her a goddamn engagement ring.

  That couldn’t happen again.

  I needed her here tonight… and forever… just like I told her.

  “Okay, love, we’re all s-” I froze as I walked into the bedroom. “Kinsley?”

  “Over here,” her voice said.

  I moved around the bed and found Kinsley sitting on the floor. Wearing my t-shirt that was a mile long on her.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I had to find the ring,” she said and looked back at me.

  “Oh. Yeah. Right.”

  “But I did something.”

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “Under your bed. That’s where you always keep your pictures.”

  “Yeah,” I said. I crouched down. “I don’t care, Kins. You can look at anything you want. They’re mostly us.”

  She slowly started to shake her head. Tears filled her eyes.

  “Kins, what did you find?” I asked.

  The only person I ever took pictures with was her.

  “This,” she whispered and showed me what was hidden in her right hand.

  I looked down at it and felt like someone had pulled my heart out of my chest.

  I put my hand over Kinsley’s and lowered my head.

  Kinsley had found the ultrasound pictures of Lindsay.

  I slipped my arm around her and pulled her close as we sat on the floor in the bedroom. I put my cheek to the top of her head, swallowing hard.

  “I’m sorry, Kins,” I whispered.

  “For what?”

  “I don’t even know. I just feel sorry.”

  “I can’t believe you have these,” she said.

  “Of course I do. I have everything.”

  “I’ve always felt guilty about these, Brice. That I don’t have any. I mean, what kind of mother…”

  “Shhh, Kins,” I whispered. “You never have to second guess yourself as a mother.”

  “I’m not a mother.”

  I touched her chin with my right hand and made her look at me. “Kinsley. You are a mother. You will always be a mother. I know not having a baby or a young girl to care for right now makes that seem strange. But you are a mother. Your beautiful body gave life to the daughter we made together. She may not have had the life we wanted for her, but think about the life she experienced. The connection with you. Listening to us. All those times we’d talk, fight over silly things. The love we shared that passed from me to you to her and right back. Holding you at night, my hand resting on your belly, smiling like a damn fool because I loved you both so much. All the times I’d catch you talking to her.”

  “You, making her listen to music,” Kinsley said as a tear escaped her eye.

  “Yes. All of that. You wear a beautiful scar as a mother. And whatever the story actually is… that’s nobody’s business but ours.”

  Kinsley looked back down to the ultrasound. “What happened, Brice? Why did this happen
to us?”

  I hugged her tighter and cleared my throat. “Oh, love, I don’t know. I wish I could answer every question that burns in your heart. But I can’t. I drove myself crazy trying to find those answers. I drove myself so crazy, Kins, I lost you.”

  “Brice…”

  “It’s true. All I wanted to do was undo everything. I should have left everything the way it was. But I…”

  “Brice, can we go sit near the fire? I’m getting cold.”

  “Anything for you, love,” I said.

  I helped Kinsley to her feet. Her eyes refused to move from the ultrasound picture. I had an entire stack of pictures like that. Every appointment from the first little dot on the screen to the last one where Lindsay was a normal looking baby. There was no way I’d ever get rid of these pictures.

  For this exact reason.

  Out in the main room, I sat down and patted a spot next to me.

  This was a moment of just us. The way it used to be. Nothing fancy in life. Everything more or less a mess, because that’s how it always was for us.

  Kinsley and Brice… the messy love heard round the world.

  Sitting on a homemade bed of random colored blankets. Random pillows that didn’t match. Pillows that didn’t even have the same fluff to them.

  Kinsley held the picture tightly as tears gently streamed down her cheeks.

  “You never did anything wrong, Brice,” she said.

  “Yes, I did, love. I rushed it. I didn’t take time to grieve for me. I didn’t let you grieve the way you needed to. I hid all my anger and took it out in a different way by trying to make it all go away.” I reached for her hand and interlocked my fingers tightly with hers. “Kinsley, that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her. Or that I didn’t love you.”

  She looked at me. “I know that.”

  “Okay. I loved her with all my heart. I still do. I still get these thoughts about her. Like when I was at the soccer field with Milo, right? I just kept seeing her… and then when I saw you for the first time in years… and Paige was with you…”

  “I know,” Kinsley whispered. “I know.”

  “And, yeah, when that storm came through and you were here. And Linda and Paige… I made it weird.”

  “No, you didn’t,” she said. “You were great, Brice. You kept her calm and entertained.”