Footprints in the Snow

by Heather McAlendin

  The very first memory I have of my own grandmother was her height. She certainly did not fall into the category of “little people” that many assume come from the emerald isle. Mary Kelly McAlindin looked at least six feet tall, even if she was only five foot eight. With her regal stature and broad shoulders she looked like she could wrestle the queen herself. My grandmother's wavy, silver hair gave her an element of the ethereal about her, especially when she finally smiled and those dark green eyes twinkled in the sunlight.

  “Welcome wee lass. 'Bout time your Ma brought you home for a visit.”

  I tentatively took her large, wrinkled hand and marveled at just how soft her skin felt. She wasn't so scary after all. The way my mother spoke about her, I assumed she came with horns and smoke bellowing from her pale pink lipsticked lips. I loved the way her smile light up her face. I fell in love with my grandmother.

  The tiny cottage my grandparents lived in was made from old, grey coloured stone and inside was warm and smelled like yeast from freshly baked bread. The walls were weathered wood but here and there were tacked long braided ribbons of colourful material and yarn loosely sewn with tiny silver coloured bells. I thought they looked like the rainbow and was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Of course what else does a child so young think?

  It was within these walls that my grandmother first told me the tale of the coloured ribbons and the affect it had on faeries.

  “Do you like those colours wee one?” Mamo said with a wink “You must have a bit 'o the wee folk in ya!”

  I remember looking up at her and wondering who the “wee folk” were. I think my grandmother laughed at the perplexed look on my face.

  “I see your Ma never told you about the wee people. Over seas they may call them faeries but you'd never call them that to their face. They have wicked temper those little flit abouts! They love bright coloured bits and bobs. If you leave them a bit o' a gift they may gift you back with their presence!” My grandmother winked at me again as she had noticed the disparaged look on my own mother's face. She rarely spoke of the myths of the isle just as my own daughter never does.

  I loved thinking back to the time when my grandmother was in her right mind. She was fun and always full of laughter and she was the only one who believed me when the faeries came to visit.

  “Why is it as adults we loose that sense of wonderment and imagination?” I sighed as I stared down at the tiny nest in my hand. “What is wrong with a touch of love and fantasy?”

  I put the nest aside and decided to do a bit of research before Morgaine came home. I turned on the computer in the small back office/library and waited. After a bit of a search I discovered what I had already known that certain groups or “courts” of fae follow the families they become attached too; much like the shee or banshees do.

  “Little flit abouts are following me!” I was astounded that this had not come into my realm of thinking before. It made perfect sense that they were now shadowing the next generation. A brief slip of a memory came back and then faded into the recesses of my mind. “They have been following me since birth.”

  “Who is following you?”

  I jumped from the seat and grabbed my chest. Morgaine had come home and I was so engrossed in my research that I did not hear her walk down the hall and come up behind me.

  “Blessed be you scared the wits from me!”

  Morgaine laughed for a moment, removed her coat and hat, revealing a tumble of auburn curls. Her slate grey eyes were red tinged and tired looking. “Sorry Ma, I didn't mean too. Are you alright?”

  “Fine my pet, just fine. Are you hungry? There are some leftovers in the fridge if you'd like them. Pegeen ate hearty tonight and she fell asleep in a wink, poor wee lamb.”

  Morgaine sighed heavily and sat down on the floor in front of me, laying her head in my lap like she had done when she was a child. I stroked her glossy hair for a moment and patted her shoulders. “You are working yourself to the bone. You need some rest.”

  “I miss Pegeen Ma, I miss my family. I miss Bryan”

  “Then take some time for you and the child. She needs her Ma just as you used to need me.”

  Tears came to my eyes as she reached up and stroked my hand. I felt a tug at my heart for my daughter. She was never the same after her husband died.

  “I wish we could afford it Ma but it's just not possible. I did take the morning off tomorrow though. I'll get up and make breakfast for Peg. Now who is following you? Was there trouble here today?”

  I shook my head and helped Morgaine to her feet. “Come into the kitchen and I'll make some tea. I think we need a bit of a chat.”

  Chapter Four

  It was well after midnight when Morgaine and I sat down for a cup of tea and I warmed her supper in the microwave. Absentmindedly she fingers the rainbow coloured ribbons on the table and smiled. “You and Peg make a craft today?”

  “Not quite no. We found this today, out in the snow. Well, under a tree actually.”

  Morgaine raised an eyebrow at me, took a sip of her tea and took another long look at the ribbon nest in front of her. “Really? Who in god's name would have left that there? Some kind of bird?”

  “No my love, not any bird I know of. Take your tea and come back into the computer room, I have a picture I want you too see.”

  Thankfully, my daughter remained silent as she gathered her cup and walked behind me, down the hall to the room she had surprised me in earlier. I proceeded to plug in the digital camera and upload the photos that Pegeen and I had taken earlier that day. I held my breath as a dozen pictures of my snowy back yard popped up on the screen. Morgaine bent low and narrowed her eyes, almost spilling her tea in the process.

  “What exactly am I looking for Ma?”

  “What do you see?” I wanted her to take a long hard look in hopes she would see what my granddaughter and I were so sure we saw out there in the snow.

  “You are being terribly cryptic. I am starting to get worried.” Morgaine said as she took a seat in front of the computer and enlarged the photo on the screen.

  As visible as it was going to get, were at least six tiny marks, reminiscent of bare footprints decorating the snow.

  “What the hell?” After blinking a few times, my daughter placed her nose directly on the screen then turned back to look at me. I could tell from her face that she either did not see anything or did not want to accept what was right in front of her. “What games are you playing Ma?”

  I was highly insulted that my own daughter would think I was playing games. “Not a game at all. Please take a good look and tell me what you see.”

  After a moment's of silence, Morgaine got up and placed both hands on her hips. She did not look impressed. “Ma, I am not sure what happened today but you are not about to tell me those are full sized foot prints. This is insane. What make believe have you been up to with Peg?”

  I sighed heavily, exasperated that she had forgotten or was choosing to ignore all the stories I had shared with her about the wee folk. She had chosen to ignore a large part of her make up; admittedly as had I.

  “Why can't you see what is in right in front of you? I wasn't sure about this either until Pegeen found that nest. It all makes sense now. Her mind is open.”

  Exasperated, Morgaine waved her hands and then clenched her fists, all the while shaking her head and repeating, “Not possible Ma. It's not possible.”

  How can you forget the tales I used to tell you as a child? The same tales that my own grandmother told me as a young one.”

  “Mamo was a lovely woman Ma but even you said she passed on from Alzheimer's Disease. How could you believe anything she said? It's all...well it's all faerie stories!”

  I was feeling defeated and a bit shaken at my daughters unwavering determination to not acknowledge the proof in front of her. I decided to leave the topic alone for tonight so we could all rest, but I was not about to let this go. The wee ones were visiting my granddaughter and I had to prepare he
r for the adventure ahead, even if her own mother did not believe it.

  “Ma, I love you but I do not want Peg's head filled with nonsense. I'll talk with her in the morning about all this. She needs to know the difference between what is real and imaginary.”

  I walked up to Morgaine and pulled her in tight to my breast as I did when she was young. I had to remember that she was still a grieving widow and her heart was broken.

  “I love you too my pet. Get some rest. We'll talk tomorrow.”

  Morgaine remained silent as she left me alone in the office to head off too the sanctity of her own room. I turned out the light when a bright flash from the darkened back yard caught my attention. I walked to the window and stared out on to the snow covered lawn. Again a tiny flash of light winked and blinked among the very same bushes Pegeen and I had found the nest.

  “Faerie lights! They have to be. We've disturbed their hiding place. Oh my, I wonder what trouble they will cause now?” As I whispered, the cold glass turned milky white with the warmth of my breath. There were two, three, four more tiny flashes before the lights disappeared as quickly as they had come. I waited for a moment and...nothing. “Saints preserve us tonight!” I said as I walked away and down the hall to my own bedroom. Sleep would not come easily to me that night as every noise and creak and groan of my house gave my brain pause to wonder if the wee folks were dancing in between the walls and floor boards. Finally after another hour of tossing and turning, I fell into a fitful, dream filled sleep.

  Chapter Five

  “Am I dreaming or awake?” I wondered as I opened my eyes to find a soft glow fluttering across the end of my bed.

  Maggie, Maggie Mae come dance with us! The snow is crisp and the air fine. Come dance in the moonlight!

  My ears were keen to the tiny, bell like voices I was hearing in my head. No one had called me Maggie for many years. It was the pet name my husband had called me when we were first wed. My christian name was Margaret Mae, my own mother never called my anything but Margaret.

  “Who is there? What do you want?” I sat straight up and held my comforter to my chin. I was not afraid but wary as to whether the days events had left me tired and suggestible.

  Maggie Mae how sad for you to have forgotten us. We have been dancing for you so that you can remember. We miss you as you still believe. You were always so special. The world has forgotten about us and even the home land is but a shadow in the mists of time. Come dance and remember!

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on the tiny voice in my head. I remembered the first time the wee folk made their presence know time. I was so young, not much older than my own granddaughter. If I concentrated hard enough I could feel the cool breeze on my face. Unconsciously I rubbed my arms and me feet felt cold.

  Yes Maggie Mae! Yes, you used to dance with us in the snow. Let wee Peg come too! Come and play!

  “No!” I shouted louder than I had meant too. The fluttering glow was gone and so was the faerie voice in my head. I opened my eyes to see Morgaine standing over me. She was dressed in her fuzzy pink house coat and slippers.

  “Ma? Is everything alright? I could hear you from down the hall.”

  Not wanting to make her suspicious, I nodded and forced a smile. “Nothing my dear,” I said as I reached out for her hand. “Just a bit o' a nightmare. I'll be fine. Get yourself back to bed. It's late.”

  Morgaine patted my hand and gave me a quick hug before she turned and walked back out into the hall. “Goodnight Ma. See you at breakfast.”

  “Goodnight my sweetheart.” I replied. “Goodnight and sweet dreams.”

  Chapter Six

  Morning broke and the sun streamed in my bedroom window. I was a bit disoriented from lack of sleep but the day was beautiful and I did not want to waste it in bed. Beside that, I knew I had to be a buffer if Pegeen decided to grill Morgaine about the “faeries” she saw dancing in the snow yesterday.

  “Mamo! Mamo! Mommy is home and she's making pancakes!”

  I watched as a flurry of youthful energy pounced on my bed and started jumping up and down. I grabbed Pegeen and wrapped her in my arms, kissing her face and hair.

  “I know my pet. Run along to the kitchen and I'll be there shortly.”

  “The ladies came to visit me last night Mamo. They were so pretty.”

  I froze and sat back against the headboard. “What do mean they came to visit? Did you dream about them?”

  “Don't be silly Mamo. They came and danced in my room. They wanted me to go outside but it was too cold and I didn't want Mommy mad at me.”

  “Yes, much too cold. Go have some breakfast and we'll talk about this later. Best not to tell Mommy until after breakfast okay?”

  Pegeen bobbed her head in agreement and smiled brightly as she turned to skip her way toward the kitchen.

  I allowed myself a few more moments before putting on my slippers and joining Morgaine and Pegeen for breakfast. I stopped at my window and took a quick look out into the back yard. A fresh layer of clean, white snow had coated everything from the smallest bush to the tallest of trees. Any evidence left over from yesterday was surely gone.

  “Devilish creatures you are,” I whispered. “What are you all up too now? My life is here. We can't go back with you.”

  The smell of pancakes and frying bacon was making my mouth water. My attention was now directed toward my family. The fae could wait...at least for the moment.

  Chapter Seven

  I walked into the kitchen only to witness a lovely tableau of my daughter and her daughter embracing. It was a touching moment that I did not get to witness too often between them. I almost felt like an intruder, until Pegeen caught sight of me and smiled.

  “Mamo, breakfast is ready. Mommy cooked great!”

  “Your Mommy was always a wonderful cook. It's a shame she doesn’t have time to do it more often.” I had not meant the comment to sound bitter or sad but a brief flicker of hurt crossed my daughter’s eyes and an instant pang of regret gripped my heart. “I'm sorry sweetheart. I just meant it's shame we don't have family time more often. You used to love spending time in the kitchen with me, baking and singing. They were wonderful times.”

  “I've grown up Ma. Life doesn’t stay the same. It changes in an instant and not for the better.” The sadness in Morgaine's voice brought a tear to my eye. I wondered if she would ever be completely whole or if her heart would forever remain broken?

  “It does not have to be that way my pet. Life is too be lived and cherished.”

  Silence.

  I decided to leave the conversation alone and listened to my granddaughter as she chattered about wanting to play in the fresh laid snow.

  “We should go out Mamo and see if the ladies came back!”

  I sighed heavily, knowing it was only a matter of time before the topic of the “ladies” came back up. I looked up to see a sour look on Morgaine's face.

  “What ladies Peg?”

  Pegeen's eyes grew wide and she looked at me apologetically. She was so young and I had not really expected her to keep the secret.

  “Sorry Mamo, it slipped out!”

  “It's alright wee one. I already told your Mommy all about it. You are not in trouble.”

  “No,” Morgaine answered firmly. “YOU are not the one in trouble.”

  “Now, now let's not get all upset. The wee folk visit many families now and again. We may never see hide nor hair of them again.” I said, trying to dissuade any further outbursts from my daughter or making Pegeen feel bad for mentioning the “ladies”.

  “But they came back last night Mamo! Just like I told you!”

  “Ma! What nonsense are you filling her head with?” Morgaine shouted before turning to Pegeen and waving a finger in the air. “Peg you know these faerie stories are just that! They are stories and not for smart little girls who should know better.”

  Pegeen pouted as she pushed her bacon around on her plate in frustration. “But I saw them Mommy and you always tell me
not to lie. I saw them!”

  I kept quiet as Morgaine moved next to her daughter and wrapped one arm around her shoulder. “Honesty is always best Peg, no matter what the situation. Your Daddy would be very proud that you tell the truth. I love you but we all know that faeries are make believe.”

  “Honestly Morgaine, how can you say that to your own child? Have your forgotten your own childhood? You were no older than Pegeen when...”

  Just as I was about to remind Morgaine about her own experience with the wee folk she held up her hand in front of my face and cut me off. “No more Ma! I am not a child and those foolish stories of a faerie land where everyone is happy and dancing all the time is just nonsense. Next you'll be telling me that as an adult you still see them. Imagination is a wonderful thing but when children start seeing things it's gone far enough!”

  Frustration set in as I raised up from the table and stood staring at the two most precious people in my life. Morgaine was my world and I loved her dearly and I'd give my life for my granddaughter. The death of my son in law had impacted them both in different ways, Morgaine shut down and Pegeen was eager to embrace anything that was life affirming.

  “As a matter of fact,” I began quietly. “I did have an encounter with something unusual last night. I saw faerie lights in the trees and had a wee visit from a few of these I assume Pegeen saw dancing in the back yard.”

  Morgaine stared at me as if I was crazy and Pegeen put her head down in her arms and cried, upset that her mother and I were at odds.

  “I think I'll have some breakfast later. I am getting a bit 'o a headache. I am sorry if I upset you Morgaine. It was not my intention.”

  Before either of us could say another word I briskly walked away before I had to deal with the hot, fat tears that threatened to cascade down my cheeks. I did not know what to do or what to say next. Sometimes silence is best.