Footprints in the Snow

by Heather McAlendin

  I sat on my bed for awhile and stared out the window listening to the murmurings of my daughter and granddaughter. I could only imagine what was being said about me and my “faerie tales”. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my breathing to slow down. “Why should anything as wee as these cause such strife?”

  “Ma?”

  I opened my eyes to see Morgaine standing in my bedroom doorway. Her face was a mask of concern for me.

  “Yes love? What is it? Did you and Pegeen have a nice chat?”

  Morgaine came into my room and sat heavily on the edge of the bed. She stay like that for a few moments before sighing and slouching her shoulders. “I tried but Peg swears she is telling the truth and is very upset with me for challenging that. She's also mad at me for being upset with you. I don't know what to say to her. Faerie tales are lovely stories but they are just stories.”

  “And if that is all you think they are then why does it upset you so much? Pegeen will grow out of this just as you seem to have. Why the worry?”

  “Ma, I saw those pictures and those ribbons. I just don't know what to believe and I taught Peg never to lie. You still believe in them...these faeries?”

  I could do no more than nod. In the last two days I had questioned my own sanity. I came from a background and a world that once believed anything is possible. Even as an adult I knew there would always be things I could never hope to completely understand. “Some days I do believe and some days I truly wonder if I believe because I need something pleasant to hold on too. It's a wee bit 'o my childhood. My own Ma chose not to believe and I think it broke my grandmother's heart before she passed on.”

  “I can understand heartbreak Ma, when does it end?”

  “Are you speaking about yourself now? I know you miss Bryan but he'd hate to see you dying inside like this. His life and memory mean more than that.”

  Morgaine collapsed at the end of my bed and cried. I watched as her body shook with heart wrenching sobs of grief. I wondered if she had allowed herself to cry before now.

  “There, there my girl. Let it all out.” I gathered her up close to my breast and let her wail and cry until exhausted she slumped against me. “You need to be at peace or you will never be able to go on with living for either you are Pegeen. She needs her mother.”

  Morgaine raised her head and sniffed. “I know Ma. I think maybe it's all the extra stress I have been placing on her. That's why she is seeing things.”

  “Is that really what you think?” I asked, incredulous that she still could not see what was happening. The wee folk were reaching out to her daughter but she could not bring herself to believe it.

  “There is no other explanation I will accept Ma. I best go talk with her again. Thanks for listening.”

  I watched as she got up and with a quick wave and left the room. I didn't have the heart to argue the point. Maybe once she had dealt with her grief I could approach her or perhaps the faeries would deal with her in person. I laughed while imagining the look on Morgaine's face if the little people suddenly appeared and spoke to her. She wouldn't dare challenge their presence after that!

  “Ma! Ma! She's gone! Oh god, she's gone!”

  My daughter's piercing screams jolted me from my thoughts and I jumped to me feet; running down the hall to find Morgaine at the foot of Pegeen's bed and pointing toward an open window. “She's run away! I should have never gotten angry at her this morning. She's only four! She's gone!”

  “Calm down and tell me what happened. What do you mean she's run away?”

  I looked around my granddaughter's bedroom and could see nothing out of the ordinary until my eyes came upon her pillow. “Look at her pillow. What is that?”

  Morgaine focused her attention to Pegeen's pillow and snatched up a scrap of bright pink ribbon that lay tucked underneath, just out if sight. “What is this?”

  Panic stricken, I looked up at her window sill to see the tiny iron bells I had placed there when they first moved in were missing. I clutched my robe and took a deep breath.

  “Where are they bells?”

  “What?”

  “The bells. There was a set of four bells sitting on the window sill. Where did they go?”

  Morgaine tossed the scrap of material on the floor and looked at me as if I had lost my mind. “Bells? My daughter is missing and you are worried about some damn bells? I moved them when we painted in here a few months ago. I think they are in a box somewhere.”

  “Those bells are like poison to the wee folk.”

  “Don't say another word Ma! This is not about any bloody faeries. Pegeen is missing!”

  It was fruitless to argue the point and she was right. My granddaughter was missing and we had to find her.

  “Get dressed and let's go into the back yard. Maybe she's hiding out there to try and scare you. I doubt she ran away. She probably hears all the commotion in here and is quiet proud that she scared her Mommy and Mamo.”

  “You had better be right Ma. If not we need to call the police!”

  I rushed back to my room and hurried to dress in an old grey sweat suit. I could have sworn I hear voices giggling as I grabbed my boots and coat and followed Morgaine put into the back yard.

  We followed Pegeen's small well booted footprints from her window sill to the base of the same bush she and I had found the tiny ribbon filled nest. That was where the footprints stopped. There were no footprints around the tree or on the other side. One again panic clutched my chest.

  Morgaine knelt in the snow, staring at the foot prints and sobbed. “Where is she Ma? Where did she go?”

  I silently walked behind the bush just to satisfy my own curiosity. The snow glistened without a blemish on it. Pegeen was gone and it was starting to dawn on me that she may not be within our reality, but how could I tell my daughter that?

  “Morgaine, let's go back into the house. There is something I need to show you. I don't think Pegeen is harmed are being harmed in any way.” I knew before the words were out of my mouth that she would never believe me until she had proof. I had proof and I was kicking myself for now thinking about it before.

  Surprisingly, Morgaine followed me back into he house without saying a word. I think she was in shock. After sitting her back down at the kitchen table with a hot cup of tea, I went back to my room and rummaged through my closet.

  After my own Mamo had died, my mother had received a large box of her belongings that her family had sent over from Ireland. My mother seemingly had no interest in my grandmother's belongings so when I was old enough, I inherited the box. I only looked inside one time which is why I had almost forgotten about its contents.

  I spotted the aged, heavy cardboard box high on a shelf. It took every bit of my height and a good stretch to grab the edge and coax it onto my arms. The top of the box was heavily laden with a thick layer of dust.

  My heart beat rapidly as I removed the lid and unfolded the tissue paper which was hiding the contents. I smiled as my grandmother's belongings were revealed. I tenderly fingered an ancient, handmade lace table cloth, a St. Bridget's Cross and a large, leather bound diary.

  It was the diary that I was interested in the most. My grandmother's words were forever inked on the brittle,vanilla coloured paper. Contained on the pages were various written admissions of contact with the “wee folk”, both here an the homeland. Until I recalled much of my own contacts throughout my life, I leaned towards thinking my Mamo may have been crazy. I hoped by sharing some of what my grandmother had written would make what happened to Pegeen that much easier to understand and perhaps give Morgaine and I some idea on how to get her back.

  Chapter Eight

  Morgaine was staring silently into her teacup and she twirling a lock of her hair when I finally came shuffling down the hall with my grandmother’s heavy diary in hand.

  “What is that?” she asked dully.

  “Something I think you need to read and then you can decide if you think the authorities are our best option.”
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  I could tell she was skeptical but after draining the tea cup dry, Morgaine picked up the heavy, leather bound book and scanned it from binding to cover. “It's a diary? Whose is it and why do I need to read this Ma? How is it going to help Peg?”

  I sat across the table from my daughter and grabbed her hand. “Promise me you won't judge until you read what is written inside.”

  “I don't like this,” she said quietly. “I don't like this at all. The more time we waste the more likely we will never see Peg again!”

  “You will my pet. You will see your daughter again. Believe in that right now.” I was pleading to deaf ears but I had caught her interest enough to at least turn to the first page.

  “Mary McAlinden? This is your Mamo's diary?”

  “Aye it is that child. Please just read a bit and tell me what you think.”

  I watched as Morgaine's finger traced my grandmother's handwriting. Her eyes went from right and back to left as she read page after page. “Walking into the reflection of the moon backwards? What is this nonsense Ma? How will this help me find my daughter. You can't begin to tell me that the faeries took her?”

  “No,” I began gently. “They didn't take her. She went willingly. She's a child my pet and open to suggestion.”

  Morgaine cast the diary to the floor and stood up, angrily waving her hands in the air. “Enough! I am calling the police and we are dealing with this now. I can't read or hear anymore of this!”

  I watched helpless as Morgaine stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall to make that call. I had to read more of my grandmother's dairy and find a way to get to Pegeen. She had no clue as to the discord her disappearance was causing and the fae were at work to teach us all a lesson about life and the heart but Morgaine just did not realize that yet.

  I picked up the diary and dusted off the cover. I was torn between going to my daughter and trying to comfort her or looking deeper into the dairy for clues. My head told me that Morgaine wanted naught to do with me at the moment so my time would be better spent trying to discover a way to get to my wee one; my Pegeen.

  After pouring myself a hot cup of sweet tea, I sat and began to turn the pages of the diary. The words that filled the pages were from a time that seemed so long ago and about things the western world just does not seem to comprehend. “With the many “new age” believers, it's a wonder why more don't recognize when mother nature and her many wonders are at work.” I whispered sadly.

  It's a full moon and I feel the pull of the wee one's. I did my best to keep them at bay but t'was for naught. I find myself under the moonlight and watching the shadows. Shall I invite them again? Life is so joyous when one can meld the spiritual with nature. The fea know this better than any creature and they know full well what modern humans can do to them. Is it any wonder they can get testy? Time and space place such limits on both humans the fae.

  “Is it truly that simple?” I wondered. “Had I missed the lesson and all we have to do is ask?”

  Ask away Maggie Mae. 'Tis simple as you make it.

  I nearly dropped my tea cup as the teeny tiny voice I had heard the night before rang loud and true in my head. My eyes scoured the kitchen but I could see nothing.

  “Sometimes your heart sees what your mind does not. No harm has come to your grandchild Maggie Mae. But, your daughter has lost her heart and needs to find it. Wee Peggy is hail and hearty and joyous.”

  In a blink and then two, the voice was gone and I sat, stunned but relieved that no harm had come to my wee Pegeen.

  “Ma?”

  Morgaine stood in the doorway of the kitchen, dressed and holing her cars keys in her hand. I had no doubt where she was heading.

  “Yes pet?”

  “I called one of the police sergeants at the station he wants me to go in and make statement. They may issue an amber alert if we haven't waited too long.”

  I sighed and nodded. It would do not good to try and convince her otherwise and if my thoughts were correct, perhaps I could get Pegeen home before night fall. “I understand. I'll stay here in case Pegeen shows herself.”

  “I hope so Ma, I truly do but we can't leave her life up too fate or anything else. I'll call you once I'm done at the station. I do love you. You know that right?”

  I stood up and wrapped my arms around my worried daughter, holding her tight. “You do what you think is best my love. We will have her home soon. Have faith in that.”

  “Faith?” Morgaine sniffed as tears began to fill her eyes. “Too much has happened for me to believe in much other than myself. I have to go now. I'll call.”

  Sadness clutched my heart as I watched Morgaine walk out the door. We had all lost so much since Bryan's death. I thought perhaps Pegeen's return could start us all on the right path again. My only hope was that the wee ladies felt the same.

  Chapter Nine

  Here I stood, an elderly woman in the snow with a hopeful heart and cold feet. I slapped my mitten covered hands and stamped my feet before walking as quietly as I could to the bush where we last had seen Pegeen's foot prints. I placed a small bit of chocolate and a red ribbon on the ground and closed my eyes.

  “I'm here wee ones. I came and I'd like to see you again as I did as a youngster. I know the moon has not yet drawn nigh but I am here. You have something precious of mine that I would like returned. Please show yourselves. You have nothing to fear from me.”

  I waited in the quiet of the back yard. There was no sound except a slight breeze rattling brittle leaves. They were the leftovers of autumn and a reminder of the spring that was yet to come. I wrung my hands and asked again that the fea reveal themselves to me. “Please, you have to understand that my own daughter has a broken heart. Broken by cruelty and violence. Please allow her wee love to return to her.”

  Bring her to us Maggie Mae. Bring your daughter so we can fill her heart with joy. Help save us again so we can hel her.

  I opened my eyes to a blinding glare hovering just in front of my face. When I could finally focus, there was a circle of six ethereal looking creatures dancing before me. They looked like gaily decorated butterflies hovering in the breeze. Three were dark haired with dark eyes and three were fair as fair could be with hair the colour of the snow and eyes just as white. None had wings but were still able to float as light as the air itself. All were dressed in bright colours and wore garlands of tiny pink tea roses in their hair.

  The inexplicable joy I felt was such that I had to force myself to breath. I stood very still and just watched as they moved about with a graceful ease among naked tree branches. After a few moments I had to speak or my chance may be lost.

  “I wish it was that simple. My daughter has lost her joy. Her husband was taken from her too soon and now she feels she has lost her daughter. You have too understand how painful that must feel to her.” I purposefully kept my voice low so not to upset or frighten the wee ladies.

  We know her loss well Maggie Mae. We suffer loss each time someone chooses to dismiss us as myth and legend. The old ways are drawing nigh.

  My body was wracked with sadness. The fear and pain they were feeling became part of my sadness as well only it was magnified tenfold. “I understand but are naught of your world wee ones and this human mother wants her child back.”

  Come with us Maggie Mae. Come with us and see why we need the child. Have you forgotten?

  “Need? Forgotten what?” I thought silently. “Why the world would they need a human child? I have never heard of such a thing before.”

  “Yes,” I answered as plainly as possible. “Yes, I'll come but with the promise I can return with my granddaughter at the time of my choosing.”

  Agreed!

  Without another word and with their words still ringing in my ears, I blinked and found myself in a forest grove. It was filled with plants and creature that were so strange yet so familiar all the same. The beauty of the place was beyond the scope of imagination. The grass was lush and coated with diamond drops of dew. Roses a
nd flowers of all shapes and colours decorated low lying bushes and gnarled, ancient trees.

  And then...nothing.

  Beyond the edge of my sight the scenery went dark, almost back as if a horrifying fire had destroyed it all. Like some evil was encroaching on this magical place.

  “What's wrong here?”

  Same as what is wrong with any world Maggie. Hate, evil, bigotry, all are powerful and something our world can not abide by. Our world will come to an end soon if we can not stop the damage it is doing. Many of our kind are dead or dying. As was once in the past.

  Startled at the deep, but sensually feminine voice, I turned and was surprised to see a tall, willowy creature standing behind me. She had lacy looking twigs and flowers decorating her long, sunlight coloured hair. Her tiny, red mouth was drawn tight in a frown and her eyes were dark as coal. In any other circumstance she would have been a stunning figure; regal in stature and costume but she seemed tired and the light was gone from her face.

  “I...do I know you? You seem very familiar?” I stammered, hoping not too sound too much the fool in front of the lovely fae.

  The woman's face broke out in a smile that could brighten the darkest night and she nodded. You did know me once Maggie Mae. I welcomed you as a woman child into my kingdom. And you grew into a lovely woman. It was a beautiful place once. Do you remember?

  “The Queen?” I thought. “I am standing before Queen Maeve herself?”

  I am pleased you remember me. Not many do anymore. I fear my time and those of my kind are passing. The child has helped but I do not think she is enough. She is strong in her faith of us but you know what happens to the faith of a child don't you?

  I nodded in agreement, knowing full well what the queen was referring too. Before I could verbally respond, a familiar giggle and a squeal alerted me to the arrival of my granddaughter. My heart leaped with joy as I watched her bouncy curls and pink cheeks a she ran to my side.

  “Mamo! You came! They said you would come! The pretty lady said you would come!”